Harry volume 4 updates.

Added 4th, and final sidebar graphic link for the final book, added link to volume 4 to the Harry Hembock section.


Read More......

Meanwhile, in a Galaxy Next Door...

...this happened.

Click link above to get the lowdown. :)


Read More......

Another Harry book milestone!

It was a year ago today, that my friend, Margaret poked me with a stick to upload the scans of my books to the Kindle store.
(As detailed in the introduction to book 3).

Course, as I explained here, there were...technical issues...and I had to forego Kindle for awhile, in favor of Createspace print editions, which, I was originally going to nervously tippy-toe up to a year later once the Kindles were selling well.

Well, I'm glad there were technical problems, Createspace uploading is actually easier, and the Kindles aren't moving, so...I might have thrown in the towel.

So, thanks, Margaret, for getting the dominoes tipping. :)


Read More......

Harry's Finale (Book 4!!!)

Hut, two, three, FOUR!!

...and finally, at long last, we come to this one.

The big friggin' kahuna!

Order here!

Well, like I said last time, this one was going to come out a lot faster.
And it did, a week to the day.
I just had to dig up a Harry anniversary to justify it.

And it is!
The two month anniversary of my first completed sale!!

Tadaa!!

So....what's gone on in that...week?
Why, the completed sale of book 3!
Full circle. ;)

Also, last time, I said this one would be better than book 3.
Indeed it is!
Here's what you get!

• Sickest, weirdest, most twisted episodes ever!!
• S'more raunch.
• Loads of laughs.
• Chaos!
• Madness!
• THREE books worth of material! 
• Value!!!! Price wise, it divvies up to 12 bucks a pop, which, is a SUPER bargain compared to the individual prices of books 1 & 2. Plus, a third of the shipping.
• Issue length stories, and quickies, all run through a blender! You never know what's coming at you!
• Stuff I got in big trouble for in school to get revenge on teachers. (PLEASE grant me my revenge!)
• Bonus materials for the entire series, including...
• Full color gallery of alternate covers for the original books, the lost books, and several unmade sequels.
• Tech blueprints.
• A map of EVERY Harryverse character! (Up until 1996)
• A dental health poster I won a ribbon for in second grade that put the cartooning monkey on my back. The true start of it all. From that ribbon, to now, it completes the journey. :D
• The original Harry Hembock text stories! (Described here).
• Pretty much...EVERYTHING! 

This is it, this is the one I was chomping at the bit to release.

And, thus ends the series!

Tch...hmm, nothing left for it, but the Kindles of 3 and 4 now, I guess.

Well, enjoy, folks! :)
Read More......

First satisfied customer for book 3!

Ta daa!!!

And now, it's real!

And, as can be seen, I wasn't kidding, it's a beast!

Not a thin read, you're getting value for your buck!


Read More......

Re-sequenced Photons (Part 6)

Time to chip away at some of the slightly bigger ones...


Dicky-pedia.

Yeah, in those early days, I was giving every new chapter/segment a label.
That's...when I didn't have many, and needed to grow the list.
Now...not so much.

Anyhoo, the arguments at RD.net were getting so repetitive, I made this to have literal push-button access to the easiest takedowns of the drivel I was having to answer...and then I hardly ever found use for it, and drifted away from the site when the modship got heavy handed, and the format went crappy.
Eh, well, it's fun to have...

• Sacred.
• Holy.
• Pro-life (okay, I snarkily ret-conned this one in)
• Spirituality.
• Spiritual.
• Sophisticated spirituality.
• Faith.
• Faith in faith.
• Blasphemy.
• Religion.
• Organized religion.
• Supernatural.
• Transcendent.
• Sophisticated theology.
• God. (this is a new one I tacked on)
• "Science is a faith!". (Ditto)
• Dicky-Pedia: The Rant.

Now, a lot of these at first glance might just seem like snotty insult, but if you follow around the "see also", links, like a "Choose Your Own Adventure", they all lead back to Faith, or Supernatural, and those are pretty fucking bulletproof, and (IMO) justifies the snark in the other ones.
And even Faith, and Supernatural lead back into each other.
If you follow the loop around enough times, you do see there's no wiggle room, every single little "yeah, but what about...", is covered if you go through it enough.

I deliberately constructed the thing like an argument machine
I planned it pretty meticulously.
I've always been rather proud of it.

Tch...d'ohhh, and then I did these shit "sequels", to try to tie into the stupid "Podsville/Shrieks/ Feesh", concept I was obsessed with at the time.
(I'll tear into that shit when I get to it)
No, these don't have the same inspiration, they're just spittle.

• Dicky-pedia: Volume II
• Dicky-pedia: Volume III
• Dicky-pedia: Volume IV
• Dicky-pedia: Volume V (Okay, this one justifies it all, kinda)

So, that's those.
Fuck, like "Slogan series", this will fuck up a bunch of posts, I've got it linked all over the place....


Read More......

Re-sequenced Photons (Part 5)

All right, this seems to be working...

Before, the label list wouldn't even fit into a single screencap...

...but, with Jokes, Doc, Audio, and Slogan series gone, it fits (tightly) into a screengrab....

....and, with Innerspace gone...

....you can see it all with elbow room.

So, up next.....

Self-esteem.

Eh, I dunno, unlike most of Innerspace, some actual good moments sprinkled in here....but, still writing my way out of depression.
I won't take back that there's a lot of American dick-waving bullshit culture around how this is all handled though.

• Confidence.
• Accomplishment.
• Hope.
• Pride.
• Self esteem.

I think it really all comes down to...these are all just fucking feelings, but America treats them like THINGS out there in the world to be bought with success.

There, see, I didn't have to write those long ass rambles.

Then, I threw a bunch of other annoying junk in....

• Politcs 15/Slogans 8/Innerspace 21/self-esteem 6
• 'Nother thought of the day.
• Slogans 9/Innerspace 22/self-esteem 8
• On Weirdness
• There's nothing to know #13
• Some horror based motivationals. (Actually, these, and the Freddy one are really all one needs)

Aaand, there.

Read More......

Re-sequenced Photons (Part 4)

Oh...one more for tonight...

...I GOTTA do this one...

Inner-space.

With the exception of 1, 2, 3, (especially 3!), and mmmaaaybe 4....I hate this one's fucking guts.

But,...I already tore it a new asshole in "the crumple shit".
In fact, read that instead of these.
I beg you.

• So, let's recap.
• Inner-space part 1- a quickie tour of the brain.
• Inner-space part 1.5- Godzilla vs. King Kong. (yep, right here is where it took the wrong turn)
• Inner-space part 2- The Descent Of Bullshit.
• Inner-space part 3- Laughter, our natural defense against bullshit. (this one, read this one)
• Inner-space part 4- The politics of Godzilla (why didn't someone stop me?)
• Inner-space part 5- Godzilla & King Kong across history (from here on out, I'm facepalming)
• Inner-space part 5.5- Godzilla & King Kong across history 2.
• Inner-space part 6- The Bullshit Busters vs. King Kong. 
• Inner-space part 7- Meaningless Slogans: The Revenge!
• Inner-space part 8- Advertising: The Reckoning!
• Inner-space part 9- "Elitism", STILL homespun bullshit.
• Inner-space part 10- Superstitions: The Awakening!
• Inner-space part 11- "You STILL hate America!".
• Inner-space part 12- Vidya Games Revisited.
• Inner-space part 13- Elvis has left the building.
• Inner-space part 14- Fighting back.
• Inner-space part 15- Back To The Brain.
• Inner-space part 16- TBB vs. KK & G: A- 2: Cleanup Operation.
• Inner-space part 16.5- Back To The Big Problems.
• Inner-space part 17- Back to "Let's Recap".
• Inner-space part 18- All right, let's wrap this shit up. (kept trying to find a "point", and wouldn't shut the fuck up)
• Inner-space part 19- Back to the brain AGAIN. (STFU!!!)
• Inner-space part 20- In conclusion (for reals!) (Liar!!)
• Politics 15/Slogans 8/Innerspace 21/self-esteem 6. (Don't try to write your way out of a depression, folks) 
• Slogans 9/Innerspace 22/self-esteem 8.
• On Weirdness.
• Shrieks From The Wall #7.

There is no stopping "King Kong", Mike, humans are fucking dumb.

There's no cure.

The end.

End of fucking "series".

Krikey.

Doesn't mean give up, but we're stuck with evil and stupid.

We'll always have 'em to fight.

Now *goes to post editor* DIE! DIE! DIIEE!!

Read More......

Re-sequenced Photons (Part 3)

Eh, let's just keep going...

Oh! For SURE...

Slogan series

This series of rants was pretty much the seeds that Shmegalamonga  grew from.

I needed the label to keep it handy for awhile....but now, not so much.
Shit, killing this will screw up a bunch of old posts, I'm sure, I've got it everywhere...but...dammit, I gotta clean this stuff out, and something has to go.
Well, I'll fix old posts as I casually find them...

• Meaningless slogans.
• Meaningless Slogans 2- Advertising.
• Meaningless Slogans 3- "Elitism", more homespun bullshit.
• Meaningless Slogans 4- Superstitions.
• Meaningless Slogans 5- "You hate America!".
• Rant #6 why I don't dig video games anymore.
• Meaningless Slogans 7- Let's bring it all home!

Ohhh, that's right, there were also these crummy sequels...

• Politics 15/Slogans 8/Innerspace 21/self-esteem 6. (some real navel-gazing horseshit)
• Slogans 9/Innerspace 22/self-esteem 8. (handing it off to the positive series)
• On Weirdness.

Read More......

Re-sequenced Photons (Part 2)

So, picking up from yesterday...

Let's keep hacking away here...

Ah, yes, definitely...

Audio

This category reeeaally has to go, since the entries are flat out DEAD, and, I've wanted to flat out wipe it out...but...I've got some nice comments on there, and, I don't wanna lose the memories of those good times, so...I'll just kill the category, and compile it here.

• The Batshit Files (audio version)
• Some random audio foolishness
• More random audio foolishness
• Little red cars (audio version)
• Meaningless Slogans (audio version)
• Movie rules (audio version)
• The biggest bummy in the world! (audio version)
• Meaningless Slogans 2- Advertising (audio version)
• Even more random audio foolishness
• Dicky-Pedia: The Rant (audio version) 
• Meaningless Slogans 7- let's bring it all home! (audio version) 

*Siiiiiigh* looking at these, 1.) I gotta find the right software to get some of these Youtubed back up like I said I would three fuggin' years ago 2.) man, I gotta get back to stuff like "little red cars", and not the crummy navel-gazing, and political crap I got wrapped up in in those middle years.

Sometimes, you've gotta see it to see it.....

Read More......

Re-sequenced Photons (part 1)

Or, Radical Overhaul: The Sequel.

All right, I got way too many Labels going on down there...

...and it's been bugging me in the back of my mind to fix it up for awhile now.

But...it's gonna be a laborious chore, so, I've been putting it off.

Well, nothing else to do for awhile, may as well get this over and done with.

Let's chip away at the easy ones first...

Jokes.

Ehh, strangely, never found too much use for this one...
Plus, most (if not all) of this is compiled elsewhere, and doesn't need  a label with 9 entries to place-hold it.

• The good old days.
• More from the good old days.
• The "good old days", compilation.
• The religious argument.
• Heh heh...
• 'Nother one on "tolerance".
• Dr. Suess at Copenhagen.
• My most favoritest bit of the Bible.
• Happy 100th, Ronnie!

Doc

Ugh, I had big plans for this that sorta dissolved, maybe I'll get back to this character, but for now...does it need its own section?
I think not....

• I am science!!
• "I am science!", Episode #1.
• "I am science!", Episode #2.
• "I am science!", Episode #3.
• "I am science!", Episode #4.
• "I am science!", Episode #5.
• "I am science!", Episode #6.
• "I am science!", with Dr. Logan W. Herbert. (Episode #7)
• "Dear Dr. Herbert" #8.

That's enough for now...now, to go kill those labels..

Read More......

On "Atheism Plus".

Short version, it's a load of sanctimonious horseshit.

...man, I keep thinking I'm done with this shit, and then something else stupid happens...

Picking up from this post just about 3 weeks ago...

So, not only have the Freethought-Blogs/Skepchicks bunch started acting like a cult, they've essentially declared themselves a cult.

So, here's where the dumb idea was shat out...

Is God A Squirrel's commentary.

And, here's where Richard Carrier got taken over by the Body Snatcher pods, and became its Pat Robertson.

Is God A Squirrel again. (I think I have a crush).

My buddy, Philip, also covered this nightmare moment in history.

So, the short and sweet of it is, the FTB/SC bunch want to be considered "the third wave", of atheism, (the first being David Hume, Bertrand Russel, etc, the second being Dawkins, Dennet, Hitchens, Harris).

Why is this "third wave", necessary?
Too many old white guys, not enough, you guessed it, militant feminists.

Also, Carrier says (but so do his cohorts) that, well, if you're not with them, you're against them.
That, if you don't join their rotten club, then you must be anti-feminist, pro-racist, pro-homophobia, etc, etc.

Um, well, fuck you, Richard Carrier.
With a red rubber dick.

To reiterate what I said last time...

Puritanism, and commandments, are for religions.
Kinda why I booted that junk out of my life in the first place.


No one died, and made you Pope of fuckin' atheism, Carrier.

Also, this "with us or against us", bullshit didn't fly when it sharted out of Dubya Bush's pie-hole.
Fascinating that you lot have gleefully taken on the rhetoric of that nightmare clique of chuckle-heads.

When do the armbands get passed out, eh?


Let me make it clear, I DO believe in equal rights for everyone.

I just don't want to join your awful club.
It's full of shitty people who've behaved disgustingly, I want no part of them.

And, I don't want to, nor do I have to, answer to you.

Why?
You're an asshole, Richard Carrier.
I don't hang out with assholes, it's really that simple.

And the rest of you lot?
Fuck you, fuck your whining, fuck your tears, fuck your drama, fuck your fevered egos, fuck your middle-class privilege, fuck your entitlement, and fuck your first-world problems.

Tarzan yell about "feminism", when you're shoveling money towards female driving instructors in Afghanistan, or something.

Stuffing your own wallets with ad-click revenue isn't the same thing.

Read More......

S'more little profile updates.

Updated profile, changed that dumb "quantum fisherman", bullshit to "author, cartoonist", since that happened, and all.
Added my Amazon author page as "my web page".


Read More......

Harry volume 3 updates.

Added 3rd sidebar graphic link for the new book, added link to volume 3 to the Harry Hembock section.

Also, added e-book section with the Kindle editions of book 1 & 2 to Harry Hembock section.


Read More......

Harry Hembock Regurgitations (Book 3!!)

And a one, and a two, and a THREE!!!

Ahhhh, FINALLY! We get to this one!

That month wait took forever!
Yep, second month anniversary of book 1, one month anniversary of book 2, so, here we are again!

So, let's cut through the BS, and get right to it....

Order here!

Aaand, that's released!

Now, I can recap.
What went on since the release of book 2...

• My first customer (for book 2)
• My other customers didn't wanna be blogged this time. :P
• Got my copy.
• Finally got the Kindle version of book 1 out there.
• Ditto book 2.
• Book 2 inspired some sweet Paladin art.
• Got my Amazon author page thrown together.

Not bad, for a month that seemingly went by like molasses...

Now, on to what you'll get outta this book....

• Sick, weird, and funny episodes like last time, but also...
• RAUNCHIER adventures! Definitely not kid approved.
• Seriously, think "Behind The Green Door", and then the 3 Stooges show up and start a pie fight.
• Literally two books for....less than the price of two. Plus, only half the shipping.
• Complete issue-length storylines, in amongst the quickie episodes.
• Some color pages, but not as episodes.
• The excitement of not only having the Harry Hembock threequel, but being over the hump! :-)

And book 4 will be even better!! (8-D

And on that score...yeah, a month kills me to wait out, so...book 4 is gonna come out a lot faster.
I want this project done within summertime.
So, keep eyes peeled for that.

Read More......

My Amazon author page.

Linky.

Got all four books up there, the blog profile cartoon as a test image (I'll fix it later), and an RSS stream of my blog updates.
(This post'll appear there lickety split).

Gotta mention, go ahead, and check out the previews there, but...please, order my print books from Createspace.
(Here and here)

It's the exact same price for you, but, I get pennies for royalties for some reason if it's through Amazon.
Don't screw me, mkay?



Read More......

Sidebar graphic fine tuning (again).

Changed link on "The Continued Adventures Of Harry Hembock", cover graphic on sidebar from the print edition,  to both editions consolidated update.

Read More......

The Continued Adventures Of Harry Hembock (Order your copy today)

Consolidating both editions like last time....

Order print edition here.

Order Kindle edition here.

Also...

• Original print edition announcement.
• Original Kindle edition announcement.

Read More......

Happy 24th anniversary ANOES 4!!

Theeere we go, now I'm back on schedule with these....

The Freddy reviews again.

I remember when this was brand new on VHS just by closing my eyes.
It's right there.
And I wanted it as much as...well, Fortress Maximus.

At least I ultimately got Freddy 4.

Ah, well, Maxie would've ended up in the cellar, and Freddy has given many more years of enjoyment.

Here's the songs....

Nightmare/I want your hands on me.

80's-riffic!


Oh, and also, only by way of being completist, this is the 3rd anniversary of Freddy vs Jason vs Ash: Nightmare Warriors.

My review summary: it's terrible.

Sources conflict over whether the series started on this date, or if the 3rd issue came out.
But...where it's terrible, I'm not going to bend over backwards.

Aaand....that's that.

Read More......

Happy 55th birthday, Denis Leary!

Holy crap, I remember when he was my age ranting on MTV....

And, oh, crap, I shoulda thrown him into my comedy influences chunk of the thanks on book 1...

Ah, well, this can be that.

Thanks, Denis.
There.

*Looks over his filmography*

Kiddie flick, bomb, kiddie flick, bomb....

Ah, Demolition Man!!!
There we go!

If he never does another cool flick again, this is good enough.

If you managed to miss out on this one..what the hell are you waiting for?

But, his drought of filmic awesome is more than made up for with...

Rescue Me!!

Man, did that show ever help get me through the 00's.

Soon as the seasons of those get a bit cheaper, I'm gonna get 'em, promise.

Oh, it wasn't perfect, there were a lot of clunker episodes, and a couple clunker seasons, and it went off the rails when Denis's character was just running around fuckin' everybody.
Got kind of ridiculous.

But, compared to the other shit that was on, it was the best show on TV; that's right critics, you can cram "The Shield", and "Nip/Tuck", sideways.

Oh, okay, "The Shield", was all right, I just never got into it.

Now, we've got "The Walking Dead", and "Breaking Bad", and there was "House", and those reruns will be on forever, but yeah, for the fuggin' Bush years, it was "Rescue Me".

For me, anyway.

Hey...that's right....where are the "Rescue Me", rerun marathons?
They do "House", and "NCIS", all fuckin' weekend.
Ditto "Law And Order: Rape".

Huh...bastids...

Whelp, gotta get them DVDs, huh?

So, that's my rambling reminiscence of "Rescue Me".

Favorite standup special?
Hmmm...."No Cure For Cancer", I guess.

What else?

Here's "Merry Fuckin' Christmas".

And here's "Asshole".



So, that's it, happy 55th, Denis.

Shit, his 35 to 55 went by like nothin' I'll be there soon enough...damn...

Read More......

On this day in the past, August 18th.

Eh, I dug up the material, may as well use it.

2011

Nothing

2010

Nothing.

2009 

Mall walking.

Wow, 3 years ago I did those? Literally seems like yesterday.
Well, since then, Borders has turned into Books-A-Million, and, you hardly notice the change.

Was hoping Bull Moose would get it, but meh, either way.

Damn, 3 years, I gotta get back to doing those...I really enjoyed 'em.

2008

Nada.


Read More......

The Continued Adventures Of Harry Hembock (KINDLE book 2!)

So, here's the Kindle of book 2....

I said I'd put it out on the 17th, remember?

It's the two month anniversary of my first attempt to upload the first book in Kindle format.

So, that's my official beginnings at attempting to publish.

So, first, here's the book....

Order here.

And now, to echo the print edition, here's what you'll get...

• The same sicker/weirder/funnier episodes as the print edition.
• Cheaper price....than the print edition. ;)
• 2 special episodes in color. .....if you view the file on a Kindle Fire, I-Pad, or other such device, otherwise, not so much.
• The excitement of having in your cyber-possession the first digital Harry Hembock sequel!

Enjoy!

:)

Read More......

Happy 30th anniversary, Flight Of Dragons!

Ah, good ol' 1982 had a lot of classics....

Review here.

Fliiiight of draagoons, heaveeenly aaargosies!

Catch the wind, rise out of siiiiight
Flight of dragooons, piiiloots of faaantasyyy
In the skyyyy or in my miiiiind!


Read More......

On this day in the past, August 16th

You know the drill by now...


2011

Nothing...

2010

Tosh spoiler reviewed "The Human Centipede", which kinda braced me for it.

And THC1 itself braced me for "The Human Centipede 2".

Now, I'm like a kid waiting for the candy store to open when it comes to THC3. :D

2009

You've got the touch!! You've got the poweeeerr!! Yeah!!!

2008

Zilcho.

Well, Centipede, and Stan Bush ain't so bad...

Read More......

Happy 30th anniversary Beastmaster!

Damn, but I'm getting old...

See review here.

Ahh, the good old days of film-making, before anti-animal-cruelty advocates said you couldn't dye a tiger black, and say it was a panther...

Hey, Arnold was punching camels, lay off....

Read More......

Also, also, happy belated 23rd anniversary, ANOES 5

August 11th was that.
(Still on the Harry art)

Yeah, "Dream Child", is the least good of the bunch, many say it flat out sucks, but...I've decided to commemorate all of 'em.
In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

The Nightmare series reviews again.

I wanna pepper the calendar with...stuff...I'm going somewhere with it.
Trust me.

Read More......

Also, happy belated 26th anniversary Transformers The Movie.

August 8th was the 26th birthday of this American classic.

So, here's that review again.

Ahh, memories.

Read More......

Happy 9th Freddy vs. Jason day!!!

Ahhh, finally, it's here!!

Last year's.

So, wow, lot went on since the last one.

Compiling all the Freddy related stuff for that one led me to do "I love the Freddys", which spun out into the whole Halloween horror review fest, which expanded out into Thanksgiving, and Christmas, which expanded out into "En-Mike-Lopedia".

So, I got a lot of miles out of that, and now we're back here, full circle.

I dunno, while year 8 was an okay homage,  looking back, I always felt like it was sorta thrown together.

So, let's do it up right this time.

So, here again is my memory of seeing it at the theater in 2003.

(From "I "meh", the 00's")

Freddy Vs. Jason

I've talked about this one a lot...

You can tell it's one of my favorite fucking movies, huh?

Not much more to say about it that I haven't already.

Um...the Robert Englund commentary is good.

He makes up for lost time for not being in the other commentaries, there's trivia of all 8 flicks squeezed in there.

Yep, this one's a treasure.

I went by myself to see this at the theater, and I was so jazzed by it, I was practically high, and the drive home felt like riding a fucking cloud.

I remember it literally like it was yesterday.

Every time I fire up the DVD, I'm right there again.

Also, this came out a year short of the 20th anniversary of the first "Nightmare".

The 10th got "New Nightmare", and "Never Sleep Again", came out a year late for the 25th.

Wonder if there'll be anything for the 30th...

Hope so..

S'only 3 years away now 'y'know.

When I die, cremate me, mix me with plastic, press me out into a DVD, and burn this flick onto me.

Do me up with a nice label and case too.

Although, now, it'd probably be a DVD-ROM of Harry Hembock, and my future works.

Squeeze an AVI rip of FvJ on there if ya can...

Here's a re-creation kinda sorta, of that experience...

My favorite part starts at 34 seconds in!
The train of pain!

YEAH!!!!

Now, end credits!!




*Hops up and down in imaginary flashback of theater*

ROAARR!! ROOAAR!! ROOOOOAARR!!!!!!!!





*Headbangs almost to the point of shaken-baby syndrome*

...and Ill Nino's "how can I live", was there too...

Um, what else?

Oh, yeah, this....

(From "my old computer art")

...and to go with that "movies I was waiting for in retrospective".

Also, for the first time, the famous (in fan circles) Peter Briggs draft of Freddy vs. Jason.

(From the period where we thought the project had died, and this was all we were getting)

Linky!!!!!

And...that's it.

That pretty much encompasses the whole saga of my wait for the flick, and it delivering.

(Although the Briggs version would have been interesting too..)

Damn...what am I gonna do for the 10th anniversary?

Read More......

On this day in the past, August 14th.

Okay, like last time, another time killer....

2011-

Nothing.

2010-

Nothing

2009-

Nothing.

2008-

More from the good old days.

Well, let's repost those, and see what buried treasures we've got....

The smell of Krazyfool.

Smells have the ability to effect mood.

The perfume industry is based on this notion.

Some smells can even make you high.

Like permanent ink marker inhaled for a good minute or two.
MMMMM.

Gasoline stinks pretty good.

Reformulated gasoline really stinks all chemically.
You just know that shit's more poison than the regular stuff.

Y'ever get one of those clear super bounce balls out of a quarter vending machine as a kid?

That's what reformulated gas smells like, the stink of clear superballs.

Play-Doh, oh MAN does that shit stink good!

I don't know why they have never made a Play-Doh perfume or air freshener.
I guess Play-Doh guards that secret dearly.

Play-Doh gives me a rush.
I take a good hard snort of that, I'm floating on a cloud of bliss.

You could passify rioting protesters by cropdusting Play-doh smell on 'em.

Every smell gives me another mood.

Y'wanna know how I smell, and see the world through the mood I see it through?

Okay, first get anti-bacterial Dial bar soap.
Specifically, the "spring rain", scent.

Bath with it vigorously.
Wash your hands compulsivly with it.
Afterward, sniff your hands.
Don't be embarrased, snort your palms like a bloodhound.
That shit's a real good stink.
Nice and clean, gives you an "ahhhhh", feeling.

Okay, now the next ingredient.
Get old spice high endurance deoderant.
The green "pure sport", kind.

Now, don't just rub it on your armpits like normal SMEAR that shit on!

Ten strokes a pit! That's the secret.
Get good and sticky.
Then put your shirt on and rub it in.
Poke your fingers up in your pits good and sniff 'em after.
If you've got a hang up about doing weird shit like that, just don't get caught.
Do what I tell you! 
Sniff your goddamn fingers!
Good ain't it?
'Specially mixed with the spring rain soap.
Now cross your arms behind your head and let your pits potpurri the air for a bit.
The high should kick in in about half an hour.

Not really a trippy state, just colors seem brighter, air seems fresher, and sitcoms seem funnier.

I've gone through many soaps and deoderants to find this combination.

Reaction to your personal body chemistry may vary.

Like I said, I've made scent sniffing a little side study of mine.
I'm quite sure the spring rain all sport combo is the way to go.

Sure, there are more mouth watering smells to be had like potpurri sprays and incense and shit, but that stuff is strong and cloying.
I find it actually overstimulates to the point of a kind of logieness.

Clean smells are more relaxing.

Spring rain, all sport.

Trust me.

Yeah, Old Spice All Sport is still my stink-crayon of choice, but I haven't seen "Spring Rain", around in a helluva while....

My goodbye to Ryan's Realm.

Well, I know how much you love my brand of irreverent humor and my velvet smooth singing voice, but all good things must come to an end. That's right I've got to be moving along. No, don't cry, it'll just make this harder.
I'm going to ..Califorina..yeah, that's it California to study...computer..technical..scientific..computer............SCIENCE! 
Yeah, that's it, computer technical scientific computer science. 
In California yet.

Yep, I'm gonna settle down and be a good little boy and wear a tie and do my homework and study computer technical scientific computer science. 
Yeah that's it, that's the ticket.
I'll be all responsible and mature like. 
What with my computer technical scientific computer science degree I'm sure to aquire with all my studying and tie wearing.

Someday, you may be out in California and see a respectable responsible computer technical scientific computer science technical specialist lighting his cigar with a wad of $100 bills, and you'll say to yourself "holy crap! I think that respectable responsible computer technical scientific computer science technical specialist who's lighting his cigar with a wad of $100 bills is Krazyfool!".
Maybe you'll walk up to that respectable responsible computer technical scientific computer science technical specialist who's lighting his cigar with a wad of $100 bills, and ask "are you my childhood hero Krazyfool?", and maybe, just maybe, I'll call my gang of hired goons to beat the shinola out of you. 
Because, after all, I'm a respectable responsible computer technical scientific computer science technical specialist with respectable responsibilities, and I can't be doing frivolous immature things like reminiscing with Ryans.
Maybe you'll look up from the pavement as I walk off to my hovercar whilst one of my goons keeps step, refilling my martini from a tumbler. 
You'll say to yourself "what a respectable responsible computer technical scientific computer science technical specialist with respectable responsibilities he's become, If only my life could be as respectable and responsible and computer technical scientific computer science oriented as his, in California even". 

Maybe you'll even shed a tear of admiration and think to yourself "gee, he wasn't such a bad dude way back when, If only I hadn't flamed him".
Maybe I'll wave goodbye with a warm smile on my face as my hovercar's engines blow your hairpiece out into the street.
As I sit in my hover car being orally pleasured by a $50,000 whore, I'll think of all the good times I had with my message board pals, and how they saw through my psychotic rages and clinically depressed funks to the lovable marshmallowy piglety creature beneath. 
I'll remember all the happier more innocent times, of 33K modems, of Billdudes, of Wubbs, of Minions, $Legion$s and all the other denizens of the cyberplayland of my youth. 
As my hover car speeds me towards my respectable responsibilities at the computer technical scientific computer science technical building, I'll remember all the laughs we shared, the songs we sang, the 3DFX games I refused to buy because of my thrifty nature, and all the things I managed to frame };-)Legion's(-:{ name with. 
Then, the hover car will pull up to the computer technical scientific computer science technical building. I'll ejaculate on the $50,000 hooker's face, write her a personal check, and saunter up to the computer technical scientific computer science technical building to perform my computer technical scientific computer science technical responsible responsibilities.

Or, maybe I'll just become a leech off the system with an elaborate insurance scam so I can stay home all day and watch gameshows.

Ouch! My kidneys! My kidneys! I'll sue!! I'll sue you for all you're worth you lousy rotten computer technical scientific computer science technical specialist who's lighting his cigar with a wad of $100 bills!!!

Well, either way, good bye, god bless, smack Billdude upside the head for me when he gets too out of line.

Happy trails.

Sayonara.


Internetz srs bznz, gais!! 8-P

An assault on starving children.

Starving children ads.

When those sad, soulful, puppy dog eyes of those sickly little foreign kids look up at me from the TV seeming to say "please help me, I'm so hungry, all it would take is pennies a day to feed and clothe, and educate me", I immediately respond....with NO!!! 

I don't WANT TO!!! 

I'm BAD!!!

Same goes for disaster relief, Jerry's kids, PBS drives, school shooting funds, wearing aids ribbons, wearing armbands, helping old ladies across the street, opening doors for the blind, not laughing at guys with metal voice boxes, not parking vertically across two handicapped spots, not doing 80 in residential areas across crosswalks in school zones, or any other namby pamby crap I'm "supposed", to "want", to "do", for my "fellow man".

What have they done for me lately? 
El zilcho, THAT'S what!! 
Where was a Jerry's kid when I was lying in a bloody heap covered in splintery lumber, nails, and chunks of cinderblock when I fell into that open bulkhead when my house was being built?

Nowhere for miles, THAT'S where.

Where was a starving Zimbabwe child when I cracked my collarbone that one time?
They were obviously where everyone else who didn't hear my shrieks of agony were.
Nowhere to be found.

I've had to drag my own carcass out of every goddamn bit of trouble I've been in metaphorically and physically.

"EEEEW, help us pweeese?", fuck you! You weren't there for me, I'm sure as HELL not lifting a finger for you little mocha colored bastards!!!

Let's see the fucking Ethiopians do a "we are the world", for our fucking drought!!!

Hmm, don't see it do you?

The silence is deafening.

Fuck the world!! Let it bail itself out. 
I've got TV to watch!!!

What can I say, I was bitten on the neck by a bat that was bitten by Denis Leary....

Well, there, there's your laughs for the day.

You weren't malnourished.

*Head pat*

:)

Read More......

Oh, and while I've got your ear...

...on the topic of The Olympics...

..apparently, The Spice Girls one-time re-united for the closing ceremony.

Man, that takes me back....

Rewind the old mind-machine to well, back to 1996, same year as Izzy, weird....

Remember who they started knocking off the charts?

Yep, Marilyn Manson.

Bubblegum came back, and MTV pretty much threw him under the bus.

It's all these years later, and I finally see it in the proper context.

In '96 , I scoffed at Manson, inwardly ridiculed his fandom, and couldn't wait for what he represented to blow over in the zeitgeist.

Then, Spice girls led to Britney, led to more Disney-spawned Britney clones than I can count anymore, led to American Idol, led to American Idol clones, with Britney judging one of them, and...things have never been the same.

I owe the man an apology.

I see now, he was a superhero trying to save us all from what came after....

...except, he lost the fight.

Maybe..maybe if I'd believed in him more....

Don't make my mistake, children...

...learn from me. : (

I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.....:,(

He knew, and I didn't listen....


Read More......

Oh, yeah....

...notice I didn't talk about the Olympics?

Yeah, good eye there.

What, I gotta actually go through the motions, and say it?
I'm a nerd, screw sports.
They're boring.

That guy's the mascot, right?
What, '96 you say?
Wow...
Anyway, those happened.

Read More......

Gots my copy of book 2!!

Theeere we go!

Shelf!!

Book!!

Color pages!!

(Yes, that's crayon, it's the joke of the particular episode. Hooray on that reproducing so well.)

Wembley-on-the box.

(Yes, he's named after the Fraggle)

Read More......

On this day in the past, August 12th.

Something to fill the slow days when my big project posts are taking too long to ferment, and the deadlines for calendar-sensitive goodies are too painful to wait out.


2011-

"Trek Nation", William Shatner's "The Captains", and "Invaluable", were in gestation.

"Trek Nation", was *wavey hand* ehhhh.
Good if you're a new fan, long-timers who've read up have heard all of this stuff.

"The Captains",..ehh...worth one watch, and then you're done.
Best part is Avery Brooks acting wacky.

Still no hide-nor-hair yet of "Invaluable".

Also, the Republican party had so many closet cases, it stopped being funny, and became a "set your watch by it", kind of thing.


2010-

Nothing today, but on the 4th, I'd juuust wrapped up NLHH: Dark Designs.


2009-

Nothing today, but on the 11th, I told the "redneck corner", story.

2008-

Harry beat the Bishop!

Read More......

New Harry art from Paladin!

Harry reading "The Continued Adventures Of Harry Hembock"!

Nice!
:D Read More......

Some horror based motivationals.

These are quotes that always made me happy, and acted as a pick-me-up, so, I thought, maybe they would effect other people similarly.

Or...maybe I'm just fuckin' nuts. :-P

Read More......

Sidebar graphic fine tuning.

Changed link on "Harry Hembock Classics", cover graphic on sidebar from the print edition, to both editions consolidated update.


Read More......

Harry Hembock Classics (Order your copy today!)

Consolidating both editions here...

Order print edition here.

Order Kindle edition here.

Also...

• Original print edition announcement.
• Original Kindle edition announcement.

Read More......

Books category/label.

Got three of 'em up, with more planned, so...

Books.


Read More......

Harry Hembock Classics (the KINDLE book!)

Finally!!
I did it!!!

I tried to upload this sucker long before the print edition.

But, Amazon's conversion screwed it all up, and I had to tear it down, and skip right to the Createspace edition.

Well, I finally solved the friggin' problem, and here it is.

Jeez, it still kept the original upload date of June 17th.
That's kinda dumb...
Whatever.

So...here it is.

Order now.

Hey, I know, for the anniversary, I'll put out the Kindle of part 2 on the 17th!
Howzat?

Read More......

Archival archiving.

Added "Grand Unification Theory (The Collection)", and "The Boob Tube", to Archives. Read More......

Grand Unification Theory (The Collection)

Ah, there, that's done.

• Part 0 (Quantum resolution is bullshit)
• Part 0.5 (Mindmelds Are Bullshit)
• Part 1 (Subspace, and hyperspace)
• Part 1.5 (Subspace, and hypertime)
• Part 2 (Transporters, and transwarp)
• Part 2.5 (Self-beaming transporters)
• Part 3 (A wormhole is a wormhole)
• Part 4 (Timelines, and universes)
• Part 5 (Gods, wizards, wands, spellbooks, and Lovecraft)
• Part 5.5 (Metahuman powers)
• Part 6 (Stitching it all together)
• Part 7 (The History Of Fiction-Timeline)
• Part 8 (The History Of Fiction-Story)
• Part 9 (Gamesharks, and Ambush Bugs)
• Part 9.5 (Okay, let's really wrap up this whole continuity/canon thing)
• Part 10 (Recap)

Read More......