Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Location blogging #4.

Today, some Mall walking.

Yhep, not just external shots, right into the belly of the beast this time.

Here we go....

Borders again, for reference....

Then, going this-a-way....

...to the Macy's entrance.

I go in through Macy's, cuz the traffic at the Best Buy entrance is abominable.

Up to the door, doop de doop de doo...

...and we're in.

I apologize for the quality of these, they're blurry as fuck, a lot of 'em.
Best I could grab from the mess, really.
Camera doesn't like it when you walk, apparently.

Anyway, it's Macy's so it's all pink, and girly, and I'm a total fucking alien there, so I rushed through it....

Dum de dum de dum....

Doop de doop de doo...

Perfume counter reeks....gag...breath through mouth....

...and free!!!

And now, we're in the Maine Mall proper.

Pottery Barn, think that's where the Woolworth's used to be....
Poor Woolworth's.

Good shot of the map here...

Kay, so I'm here....

...and for this particular little voyage, I went down here...

....and then took a little detour down here....

...headed back....

...and then made my way down here.

And then, I didn't get to go down here....

...cuz the fucking camera battery futzed out on me again.
Fucking thing won't hold a charge for shit.

And it's a real pissah too, cuz down the JCPenny end is where the really good shit to rip on is.
Like the Hot Topic.

Ah well, next time.
And I won't fuck around with entrances, I'll start right at Hot Topic, and sweep everything down.

Anyhoo, heading out this-a-way....

Car...always a car in the middle of everything.
Is it a prize?
Is it for sale?
Is it a publicity ploy for a local dealership?
How the fuck did they get it in?
Anyway, there's always a car.
And a boat.

Apple store...

Like I said, mostly electronics and clothes.
Woolworth's is gone, drug stores are gone, all the good sit down restaurants are gone.

Fountains are gone, fish are gone, pet stores are gone...

Everything that made it alive basically.

Now it's just spartan, and gaudy, and geared towards yuppie teenagers.
Well, mostly.

Victoria's Secret?
She's a slut.
Not that that's necessarily a bad thing.
Still, no big secret....

What's that say?
WTF is that?
Eh, clothes store far as I can tell....

Hey, over there on the left!
There you go, Philip!!


Guy giving neck rubs in the middle of everything for people to see.
WTF is happening to the world?

Just past massage guy, a crossroad thingy with benches for the old folks.

So, that'd put me right...


Okay, this is a bummer here....

Where that caged up husk of a store is, was this big place full of educational toys and videos for nerdy children.

Science kits, chemistry sets, microscopes, PBS videos, all that shit.
Out of business.
Says it all, doesn't it?

*Morbid laugh*

Eh, thought there'd be fodder for some gut-bucket laughs in here, but...it's just mediocrity, and I can't relate to any of it.

Not into malls.

All right, turning down to Best Buy...

Hmnh, cute girl at the US Cellular counter there.
But...I'm too scruffy lookin' for the likes of her so, I mindlessly soldier on....

Okay, red arrow, Pretzel Mania.
Blue arrow, TCBY.
That little corner is the only food place outside of the food court anymore.

Purple arrow is some hair salon.

Green arrow is one of those "in development", boxes.
Yellow arrow, ditto.
Light blue arrow, ditto.

That whole chunk is gutted for something.

Betcha it ain't gonna be educational toys for gifted children.

Closer up on Best Buy.
Gumball candy/machines, photo booth thingy.....

And then down this-a-way....

Bathrooms, vending machines, mail boxes, fountains, etc.

Hmm, it was stifling today, shoulda grabbed me a sodie....

Eh, I didn't like the look of those teenagers.
They had a Clockwork Orange vibe about them.
But then, most teenagers have a Clockwork Orange vibe about them to me.

Don't like 'um, ain't got a bitta use for um.
*Mumble grumble*

And we pierce through into the Best Buy.

Eh, fuck it, you all know what a Best Buy looks like, they're all the same.
Overpriced toys, and guys in blue shirts.
You've all seen it.
Why punish you with it some more?

So, heading back out of Best Buy....

Pretzel and TCBY again, but closer and blurry.
I shoulda got me a pretzel.
And the sodie to go with it.
Eh, I was rushing through, and didn't think.

All I could think of was how uncomfortable these places make me.

Didn't used to be uncomfortable.
It's the yuppies.
The damned yuppies.
Yeah, that's gotta be it.
Gotta be.

Hokay, back up to the compass points....

....hokay, pen time..

Red arrow, blurry peek down the JCPenny hallway we didn't get to go down...

...green arrow is the way I'm goin...

..which would be this-a-way.

Dope de dope de doe!

Dool le doop doop doo.....

Hey, Radio Shack is still around!

...bet ya can't buy transistors, and wires, and soldering irons anymore.

It's just like with the nerdy kids store, where are the new inventors gonna come about if they can't play with that shit in their garages?

I weep for the next generation.....

Up ahead, four measly little kids rides....

And right here...

...is where Waldenbooks used to be.

And no one cares....

...no one cares but me....:(

....furniture store...

..shit was this where Woolworth's was?

Yeah, I think I got it all turned around in my head, this is where Woolworth's was, and then up a ways, and across from the Payless Shoes was Friendly's.

People ate there.
Families ate there.

And no one cares...

No one cares but me....

Anyway, camera died here.
Gotta come back, and pay respects to the other fallen soldiers, Moon Shadow Comics, and Saturday Matinee, and rag on Hot Topic, and maybe find something funny about the food court.

Anyway, thanks for taking this walk with me.
Wish it had been funnier, but hard to find humor in banality, and tragedy with no clear villain attached.

Just the system doing what it does.

People voting with their dollars for the wrong thing.

As usual.

I hope you people appreciate what I'm putting myself through.
This was almost as bad as reading "the irrational atheist".


Philip1978 said...


Girl looking down her top to check if they are still there...


I always get pretty weirded out when seeing cars and such the like in buildings.

I have a sort of mini mall here in Maidenhead, there are a few stands and such the like dotted around selling flowers, jewelry or life insurance and then some fucking stupid "Magnets can heal everything" stand which I make a point of laughing at everytime they put it up. I think the security gaurds will be after me if I don't stop doing this but I can't help it!.

Great photos though, I'm really enjoying your tours, I might do one on my blog one day, give folk an idea of what craziness I get up to here in good olde Blighty!

Diacanu said...

Lol, yeah, I almost commented on the chick, but the pic said it all.

Oh, man, we don't have the quack medicine folks in the mall, but there used to be.

Hope you do do a photo blog.
That'd be cool.

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