Sunday, July 1, 2012

Grand Unification Theory (Part 5)

Hokay, was supposed to hammer this out Thursday, but then, people unexpectedly started getting their books (here, & here), and that necessitated a little change, and then, all of that had to be funneled into The Big 4th Anniversary, then, that led to another little change, and...with all that flurry of excitement, I wasn't too inspired for anything else.

Well, we're back into the daily routine now, so, let's finish this sucker up.

Where were we?
Oh, yeah...

Gods, wizards, wands, spellbooks, and Lovecraft.

So, last time, I used "quantum time", or "hypertime", or, whatever you wanna call it, to break down...pretty much all of fiction as splinter timelines off of Trek.

And if they're part of Trek, Trek physics applies to them.

Which, all fits in fine.
The only seeming prickly exception, being magic.

But...that's pretty pretty easy to crack.

First, let's go all the way back to my Dicky-pedia definition of "supernatural".

To sum it up, nothing unreal exists, anything that can happen does, and science is the study of things that are real, so if magic presented itself, it would become part of science.
There can be no appeal to things that are "beyond science".
To do so, is a fundamental misunderstanding of language, and indeed, thought itself.
There can only be things that aren't yet scientifically understood.

And, when you think about that, a frigging cigar lighter, or a Kindle, would look magical to a caveman.

And...we still pretty much have people as ignorant as cavemen, go read some fucking Youtube comments sometime.

Minds like that probably think what David Copperfield does is fucking real.
Shit, we know people bought into Ms. Cleo.

So, an advanced extraterrestrial shows up with a replicator on a stick?
Forget about it, they'd be instantly worshiped, and have their own cable channel, and be leaching money from the credulous by the end of the week.

Shit, there's pretty much even a Trek episode like that.

And hell, they even did one where an actual replicator on a stick posed as a "wand".

So, there you go.

And that's even before you factor in extra-dimensional beings from funky-space, like Q, and Nagilum, and the Cytherians, and possibly Trelane, and his parents.
Beings who, by their very physical properties, would be able to perform feats seeming as magic to teeny little monkeys like us.

So....that can just as well apply to all the splinter fictions branching out of, and into Trek.
Aliens, hyper-beings, and the odd time-traveler, explain pretty much all of it.

Asgardians? Advanced aliens.
Indeed, Marvels' Kryptonians.

All the other bullshit Angels and Fairies?

Indeed, I said it in that post, and I quote..

All right, I gotta sit down, and resolve the theological B.S. right here....

These religions just can't co-exist with each other.
Literally, as in the actual respective Gods vying for status in a co-existing universe.
They just can't.

The God of Christianity/Catholicism, and some mutant spinoff of Roman stuff?

Either you got one God with many masks, which makes him a capricious Mxyzptlk on steroids, and unworthy of anyone's worship, or, and this is the one I'm going with, none of the "Gods", are God, but advanced extraterrestrials playing at being Gods, like Thor.

That these characters can all be Baconed back to Thor, kinda puts these disparate theologies under those rules anyway.

That's how Marvel always handled it, and as a Marvel boy, that's how I'm going to.

So, any character, like Avengelyne, claiming to serve "the one true God", is a dupe, and their "God", a liar, or deceived their own selves.
Especially when confronted with a character empowered by another God, who can hold their own against them.

Sorry ladies, you should have served Crom. 
Crom literally doesn't give a shit. 
I can respect that in a God.

So, to steal a line from Douglas Adams, that about wraps it up for God(s).

As for your average "wizard", well, they seem to basically be a human being playing with "God", technology.
Yeah, you've got your odd immortal, like Gandalf....but imbuing a human with immortality seems fairly doable with God-tech.
Although, there are hints from his "rebirth", from Gandalf The Grey, to Gandalf The White, that he may in fact be an extraterrestrial, whole cloth.

Either way, those rules all seem to cover the Harry-Potterverse well enough.

Harry Potter magic isn't all vague hokum, and spookum, it has definite rules that have to be taught at a school.
It's got a physics, a chemistry, even a dimensional mechanics.
Indeed, Hogwart's is accessed through a kind of warp/wormhole.
And, that world's magical items seem like technologies we have now with a slight boost.
The animated newspapers, and photos, and maps, and the like, are much like the E-paper in a Kindle.
Just with smoother animation, sometimes color, an invisible battery and circuit panel, and (seemingly) unlimited battery life.

Whos' to say this isn't all just tech gotten from aliens, or time-travelers?
Indeed, a limited form of time travel is seen in the series.

Very much of the story plays out like a mix of Trek and Wars dressed up in the trappings of classic fantasy.

And, if Harry Potter and Gandalf can be broken down that way, then so too Merlin, and everything he spins off into.
Which, is quite a bit.

Hell, large chunks of "The Flight Of Dragons", are about the protagonist trying to scientifically understand magical beings.

So, if magic is just advanced tech, which I assert it is, then...appeals lately in fiction, particularly for some reason, video games, to "technology combined with magic", are pure nonsense.

You definitively get a dose of this in the crossover "epic", "Infestation".

The crossover of the 4 universes is accomplished by a sort of Stargate, but empowered with magic to boot.
Well, screw that empty verbal puffery, magic is tech, and a wormhole is a wormhole.

And, a wormhole is all ya fuckin' need.
Why gild the lily?

And then, in the sequel, you've got the crossover accomplished by the magical reach of Cthulhu's hyper-dimensional tentacles.

Well, there you go, he's hyper-dimensional.
He's a squiddy analog to Q, Nagilum, Trelane, etc, etc.

Or, if you like, an uglier squishier, Mxyzptlk.
It's all the same.

And, with Cthulhu, you can break down pretty much all the horror guys.

In "Army Of Darkness vs. Re-Animator", Ash learns (from the ghost of Lovecraft) that his Necronomicon is one of many copies of the original Lovecraftian Necronomicon, some of which, are scattered across hyperspace.

So, "Deadites", are in fact people/corpses possessed/animated by hyper-dimensional Cthulhu butt-babies.

And, Ash also learns in "Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash", that Freddy and Jason are Necronomicon-spawn.

So, that makes Jason a super-Deadite, and Freddy...well, he was revealed in "Freddy's Dead", to have been possessed/empowered at his moment of fiery death by "dream demons", which, since they're now ret-conned into Cthulhu butt-babies, and Freddy's original body got burned away....makes him a human neural pattern conveyed by extraterrestrial organisms existing in a layer of subspace that can make neural contact with human brains during REM sleep.

And, this mongrel of human neural energy, and subspace alien, can manifest in the flesh, as seen in Nightmares 1, 2, 6, 7, and 8.
....or is it all a dream?

But, the original recipe Deadites can also blur the lines of dream, and physical manifestation, as seen in "Evil Dead 2".

Also, Pinhead Bacons over, and "the Lament configuration", is obviously a hyper-dimensional technology,  and "Leviathan", a hyper-dimensional lifeform.

A Cthulhu butt-baby?
An alternate hyper-time Cthulhu manifestation?
Some other thing entirely?
Hard to say.

But, one thing's for sure, be it a puzzle box, a blue smoke tunnel summoned by a Necronomicon incantation, or the pseudo-Stargate from "Infestation", a wormhole, is a wormhole, and a timeline is a timeline.

So, that breaks down monsters, demons, and spooks.

What about zombies?

Physically impossible, unless a "Deadite", ingredient is added, or, if the mysterious "zombie virus", is actually practically on the order of nanites.

And a vampire?
A super-duper Deadite.
One with full tissue regeneration, and intellect/personality preservation.

Their origins depend on whatever timeline you happen to be in.
Anne Rice's vampires break down to being created by a super-Deadite-spook.

Others have it as a mutating virus that doesn't really kill the person, so the whole "undead", thing is mythological hogwash from start to finish.

And, an O'Bannon zombie is somewhere between a virus zombie, and a Vampire.

And, we see in "Superman & Batman vs Vampires & Werewolves", and "Batman vs The Undead", Lovecraftian "magic", being used to create Vampires, Werewolves, and Zombies.

And Bats & Supes Bacon back over to Ash, so, it's the same Cthulhu/Necronomicon generating this stuff.

Anyhoo, we've seen nanites, and subspace energies, and other Trek-no-babble revive carcasses in its native universe, all holds up on that end.

Oh, sure, it all gets perilously pseudo-scientific as all get out, but "magic"?
My ass.

So....I think that covers all of it.
Apply that to everything from Highlander, to Mario, it holds up.

Magic is tech, wizards are super-geeks, monsters are mutants and hybrids, and Gods and spooks are aliens.

Or, boiled down more simply...
Super-scientists love to baffle the bumpkins with bullshit.

As seen most recently with Prometheus.

Next up, we really start to pull all of this shit together.

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