Saturday, August 30, 2008

Another Hembockian blog update.

Added submissions label to the fan-art to make those easier to find, and for future reference. :) Read More......

New blog menu.

Added "key areas of Shmegalamonga", check it out. Read More......

The "good old days", compilation.

Krazyfool's Den Of Delusion!
(A museum re-creation of my lost Geoshitties page)

Rants from the good old days part 1.

Rants from the good old days part 2.

Old cartoons part 1.
(Includes Harry Hembock: Breeding Baboons!)

Old cartoons part 2.

Old Cartoons part 3

Old cartoons part 4.

Computer art.

High School Toons.
Read More......

Hembockian blog update.

Added pics with links to "who IS Harry Hembock?"

:) Read More......

More Harry art from Paladin.

Inspired by minisode 5.
Awesome, dude, awesome.

Read More......

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

More Harry art.

By Tamar Garish

Read More......

Art inspired by "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock".

By Paladin


Mr. Starshine
Read More......

Saturday, August 23, 2008

History of the internet part 2-anime.

So, it's sometime during the early J-world years, and I still need to fulfill my geek fix...

I need to rewind a bit first.

See, I actually found Jason-world trying to fulfill my geek fix.
When it started, it had a comics section, and a video games section, so I thought "hey! Cool! Two addictions in one!".
And the clincher, was it had a flames board.

Now, I have to rewind a little bit more here.

Before this, I was a really green newbie to the net.
I had JUST discovered what flames and flame wars were.
And I had discovered this Yahooing (heh, pre-Google days, remember?) up sites for things I hated.
And at the time, I hated Marylin Manson.
Don't ask me why, goth culture just grated against my vibe at the time, I dunno.
I've since discovered Marylin is an articulate and funny guy, and some of his music ain't half bad.

Buuut, the reactionary and overblown (isn't it always?) media hoo-hah, and the"I hate my daddy", fanbase were a bit insufferable at the time when he was really big, so it colored my perceptions,

So, I Yahooed up all the Marylin Manson Sucks sites, and reveled in the hate mail sections.
One of 'em was run by a pretty funny and obscene guy.
Can't remember his handle, the site is lost to history.
I think his rants were my first taste of internet rage, and I liked it.
I instantly knew "I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do a lot of it. I've found my calling".

But, at the same time, I needed to fuel my geek addictions.

And boom, I found Jason's World.
And there was the flames section.
I lurked a couple days, laughed my ass off at some of the behavior, found it to have just the vibe I was looking for, and jumped in.
But, the geek sections were soon forgotten, and withered away for lack of activity.

So, fast forward back to where we started, and I still needed to feed my geek fix, so I needed another geek board on the side.

Okay, I've got to rewind again, as this need for geekery is nagging me, my particular geek obsession evolved towards anime.
Tenchi Muyo in particular.

So, okay, now we're all caught up.
So, I look around, and look around, and at the time, the only Tenchi related forums with a decent sized community at all were fanfic related.
Well, I HATE fanfic.
Fanfic sucks.
99% of it is by really bad off guys who want to fuck the characters.
It's bad.
Hideous shit.
Hideous fucking shit.
Am I offending anyone?
Prove me wrong.
Find me a good one.

But, beggars can't be choosers, so I lurked a fanfic board for a bit, and found little pockets of pure Tenchi conversation with no fanfic relation, and honed in on, and jumped into those.
And it was cool for awhile. I was happy.
But, it never fucking lasts.
Someone always fucks it up.
And ho-ly shit, does anime have its share of fevered fucking egos.
And there was this handful of dicks, who thought they were the king of Tenchi.
And of them, there was a king asshole, called K'Thardin.
I'll never forget that handle.
Obnoxious guy, crummy name.
Swung his dick around, and dominated everywhere, you couldn't fucking get away from him.
Any Tenchi forum you went to, there was fucking K'Thardin, being the Cliff Claven of Tenchi trivia, acting like he was practically the producer of the show.
Oh, and he fancied himself a fanfic reviewer.
Wow, if there's anything worse than fanfic, I fucking found it.
Fanfic critics.
Again, I gotta say, ho-ly shit.
A bastard genre to start with, and then you get the parasites who come to urinate on it.
Hey, I hate fanfic, but I don't waste my really good bile on it, I move along to things more deserving of venom.
Big world stuff, like politics, and religion, not little world stuff like food and ballet.
I already hate REAL critics.
FAKE critics are whole NEW layer of bullshit.
So, I bit my lip for awhile, cuz the dumb little kids were impressed by him, but I started to tell him to go fuck himself (seems to be a pattern with me, eh?) and he always just snarked that he probably gave me a bad review of a fanfic I' d written.
No, asshole, I hate fanfic, you just fucking suck, and I hope you get ass herpes.
Anyway, little did I know, the board I was on was constipated and draconian, and I got my ass banned.
Which pissed me off, because I'd quickly become a popular member there, and people were starting to be friends with me, but ppptt, there went that.

So, I stepped back, looked at the whole situation with a nice strong sip of hindsight, and decided anime was full of too many fuckups and dingleberries, and to cut my losses, and feed my geekery in some other fashion.

"Well, I dig Star Trek....", I says to myself....

The rest as you know, (from history of the internet part 1) is well...history. :P

Oh, and postscript, K'Thardin finally one day just got sick of Tenchi Muyo, and suckered off of it like a tick that had finally had its fill.
Just like that.
One day "meh, no more Tenchi for me, it was fun fellas".
See, if there was a God, these people would be exploding in the flames of justice across the country like Jiffy pop.
But no, they live.
They live to shit on your dinner, and then escape prosecution.

But whatever, I've long since let it go, I just needed to set up the agitations that tipped the dominoes that led me to Trekbbs, WF, Dawkins, and then here.

In hindsight, everything happened as it was supposed to.
Nothing went wrong.
I'm cool.

Oh, and I'm done with Tenchi too.
The last movie came out, the last season came out, and it was an anti-climax after that long of a wait, and the page is turned on that chapter.
I still watch it once a year for nostalgia, but it doesn't hit me the same way it did in my early 20's.

And, none of the new anime out there does it for me.
I'm over that whole phase I think.
Something could come along and "wow", me, but eh, how do you follow Cowboy Bebop, y'know?
That's pretty much it.
You make Bebop, time to pack it in, and call it a genre.

And Star Trek?
I dunno, I still love the old Kirk ones, and DS9.
And a thin sprinkle of TNG and Voyager, but not so much I'd go out of my way to see 'em.
I got all the Kirks on DVD.
So, I can marathon those anytime I feel like.
Never seems to happen though.

Anyway, it seems that Trek's glory days are long in the past.
Maybe this new movie will be a rebirth, I dunno.
Can't let myself get too worked up about it.

Maybe it's just time for the next thing.
Maybe Harry could be that.
Hey, help a guy out, tell your friends.
Spread the gospel.
Make t-shirts, give me the lion's share of the profits.
Too much? Okay, fine.
Coffee mugs then.

(Click here for addendum)
Read More......

Link update.

Laurie, saw you had me on your list, hope you don't mind that I added you.
Wanted to e-mail ya, but your address wasn't up.
:P Read More......

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Harry Hembock minisode #6!!!

Taa daaa!!

Thanks to (in order of appearance) Margaret, Tracie, Sharon, and Jonathan for making special guest appearances. :)

(Nit-pickers notes. In panel 2, under "Hemtech", it says "a division of Hemco", and in panel 7, the weather scan was supplied by screen grabbing the weather-bug map of the Portland area. :P) Read More......

Piddly little update.

Split my links list into sites and blogs.
Just looks a little nicer. :) Read More......

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Harry Hembock microsode #5.5-2!

Beat the bishop- Epilogue.

Deep in the bowels of an abandoned mine, Abmuloc watched events unfold on a pulsating view screen, and croaked out "eeeexcellent!", from the speech synthesizer in his sooty black helmet. Read More......

Harry Hembock minisode #5.5

Beat The bishop- Aftermath.

"You're free! go home!!", Harry shouted to the gaggle of rubbernecking onlookers.

The people gave him a confused look.
Then, as if he were never there, they turned to help The Bishop to his feet.

"What the fuck, folks?", Harry wailed in incredulous shock.

No one reacted, and the scene relentlessly continued to unfold.

Harry stood frozen in horror, as The Bishop opened his robe, to reveal two racks of hot dog like teets down his entire torso.
Worse still, the people, the people, literally began crawling over each other to greedily latch onto and suckle them.

Wave after wave of cold goose-flesh washed over Harry, as he grabbed a nearby bike rack to steady himself.
His vision reeled, like the residual pulsating after being spun around really fast.
Harry recovered from the disorientation, looked again, and yes, his eyes were not deceiving him.

His sense of reason and justice were being raped before him, but his senses weren't betraying him.
They were the only thing in the immediate vicinity that wasn't.

Through the piglet-pile of squirming orgiastic flesh, The Bishop shot Harry a smarmy "neener", smirk.

Harry turned away in nauseated revulsion, a dumb-founded hopeless look on his face.
He numbly got into the driver's seat of Hembug, and closed the door.

"Get me the fuck out of here, I need a fucking drink", Harry said with a disgusted snarl.

Hembug acquiesced, and got him the fuck out of there. Read More......

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Harry Hembock minisode #5!!

At last!! The wait is over!!

Subtle, eh? *Smirk* Read More......

Monday, August 11, 2008

The history of Diacanu part 2.

So, where did I leave off with this?

Ah, yes, the crappy jobs that I mentioned at the very end of part 1.

So, yeah, it's right after high school, and my first job was at Unum, which used to be Union Mutual Insurance, but they shortened it to be trendy, and then they've changed it three times since I worked there, and I've totally lost track of what the hell they are now (and I don't give a shit).

Anyway, I was a cubicle monkey there for almost a year.
Pretty mindless job.
Punching names and social security info into a computer all day for their database.

It was okay.
Kinda boring, but tolerable.
In hindsight, I'd take it over most of my other jobs that came after that.

All that really sticks out in my memory is the food.
Dayum, the food.
I got really fat there.
You could buy bags of Jelly-Belly jellybeans, whole cakes, it was crazy.
By the time I got done there, my belly almost came to a point.

Next place was Hanover Insurance in the mail room.
That blew.
Supervisor was a ditto-head douchebag who could only talk about hating Clinton all fucking day.
Mindless, ugly, tedious, life draining people in charge of that hole.
I can stand any sort of work if the people are cool.
But, likewise, the work could be the easiest in the world, but if your co-workers blow, ugh. co-workers on the same rung as me were pretty okay.
But, I was usually stuck with my immediate supervisor all day, and he was the tedious boring ditto-head turd.

The cinnamon buns where good there though.
And working there gave me my hatred of corporate drudge work that inspired a lot of the scenes in The Fulcrum Unification (which is part of Torrent 1.5) .

Let's see..what came after that??

Ah, yeah, I. Zaitlin & Sons.
I always try to blot that one from my memory.

That place was/is a sweat shop.
I don't like to get into it.
Watch the scene bitching about the pointlessness of paper recycling in the episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit where they slag on environmentalists.
That about sizes it up.

Then, ah, yeah, "landscaping", at UNE (University Of New England).
Groundskeeper, basically.

Then, late-night crew at Toys R Us, that was my favorite job.
Opposite polarity of Hanover.
Work was harder, but the people rocked, so it made it fun.
One of my co-workers there gave me my first modem (referenced in History of the internet part 1), and we became pretty good buds, but I never saw that dude again after that.
Also, we patched heavy metal music over the PA system (remember, it was overnights, so the customers were gone) which instilled my love of Megadeth.

So, yeah, I had a blast there.
Good times, good friends, big bucks.
Coulda worked there forever.
But, it was seasonal, so after Christmas, pppt.

That job inspired some scenes in Nobody Loves Harry Hembock.

Then, there was Shop N' Save (which is now called Hannaford, but I still reflexively call it Shop N' Save).

There was another place that blew.
My main job was bag boy, but they had me doing lots of shit outside my job description.
And everyone there was either boring, or wouldn't fucking talk to me.
So, it was lonely on top of being painfully dull.
I think it was a deliberate spirit breaking thing by management.
No one ever had the same break period, so you never really got to hang with anyone long enough to get to know them.
Bleak fucking place. Did not like it there.

Best job there was a tossup between cart retrieval, or bottle return.
Cart return, cuz it got me outside, and away from the bullshit and assholes.
And bottle room, cuz that was all by myself, and away from the fucking bagging drudge.
And I got to play with a computer.
Even though all it could do was mass UPC scan bottles and cans.
It was so dull there, you looked for any escape.

But, a job opened up at Toys R Us again, so I interviewed, got it, and quit Shop N Slave without leaving notice.
Fuck 'em.
Yeah, I hear the murmuring out there.
Fuck you too.
Youth is for being a misanthropic slack-ass.
When else are ya gonna get it in?

Wheell, I got my punishment for my attitude anyway, the second dose of Toys R Us was not the utopia the first stint was.
Quite the opposite.
This time around, it was a different batch of guys.
Assholes all.
Surly gun-nut sociopaths with extreme personality deficits.
I kept to myself.
No chumming around that time.
One of 'em, I'll never know who, smashed out the back window of my car on the last day.
Eh, it was a shitbox car, and it only cost me 100 bucks to fix.

And then, there was Wal-Mart
Worst job ever.
Biggest money ever, but worst job ever.
Horrible people, back breaking work, terrible.
I can shrug off back-breaking work, I can, but again, I need to be working with good people, or it breaks my spirit, and this did.
Wrung me out like a washcloth.
I finally got fired from there for what I figured out years later was a lie a co-worker who didn't like me told.
Long fucking story there.

Anyway, I literally had a fucking breakdown after that.
Fell right the fuck apart.
Straw that broke the camel's back.
All the years of bullshit from childhood to then finally crashed into me all at once.

Took up to fairly recently to clean up every last bit of the mess in my head.

So...yeah, all that pretty much overlaps with my early years on the net.
The Hyla & Spencer hanging out years, the drifting away from them (referenced in part 1), and the beginning of Krazyfool all kinda float alongside Toys R Us & Wal-Mart.

The exact chronology is a bit more complicated, but that's about right.

So, then, again, the early internet years up to now took place, and you know the rest.
Read More......

Random thoughts on music appreciation.

Don’t you hate fuckers who say shit like "I love Don Giovanni, Mozart was a genius. And I particularly like the use of recitative throughout"?

Oh, you liked the use of recitative throughout?

It’s fucking Don Giovanni, it’s almost ALL recitative, you stupid pretentious fucker!!

It’s not the recitative that makes Don Giovanni kick ass, it’s the genius of fucking Mozart!!!
Evita is all recitative, and Evita is a pile of fucking dogshit!!

It’s so obvious by now Mozart is a genius, that to say "Mozart is a genius", in casual conversation is talking to hear yourself talk, UNLESS you have a particular reason for citing the genius of Mozart, and fucking recitative isn’t fucking it!!!

Liking Don Giovanni because of the recitative is like liking music period because of notes, or dessert because it’s food.

The only reason to blather about the recitative is to show the dumb people at the table you know a big word, and want to cram it sloppily into conversation like your dick into someone else’s fucking.

But, when you use it that way, you come off as a moron yourself, so uttering shit like "I love Don Giovanni, Mozart was a genius. And I particularly like the use of recitative throughout", serves NO purpose, but to be a pseudo-intellectual pretentious cocksucker.

Can’t we just fucking kill these people?
Can’t we just make it legal to jump across the table and stab their fucking eyes out with a fork when this shit happens??

These are the same mindless pretentious cunts who’ve ruined art galleries.

If only I could line them up, and spray ’em down with napalm.
The fucking planet could breathe again. Read More......

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