Damn, over a month now since the last one.
Fuck it, these come out when they come out.
Same old problem, I keep remembering things, and adding to the list, then I'm scared to do one, because I don't want to leave anything out.
But, screw it, here goes.
TV shows.
Network-
Get a life (1990-1992)
About a 30 year old paper boy, and his wacky and surreal misadventures.
Funniest and weirdest fucking sitcom ever put to air.
Damn, I miss it.
Chris Elliot went on to do "Eagle Heart", on Cartoon Network, and it was all right, but it didn't have the magic of this one.
Red Dwarf (1988-present)
(US got the reruns in the 90's)
Old review here.
"Back To Earth", retroactively counted as season 9, and they've since put out seasons 10-11, with 12 on the way.
So, they're still going.
Think they're gonna do it 'til the cast is dead, like Simpsons.
Well, good on ya, fellas, cuz you're a great little show.
If only Blackadder were still going.
Speaking of....
Blackadder (1983-2000)
(US got the reruns in the 90's)
Series review here.
Christmas special here.
Ahh, if it weren't for the animated shows, and Blackadder, and Red Dwarf, I might have gone up on a water tower with a sniper rifle.
Great show, still holds up.
Ended with the millennium special, they've never been able to get a reunion together since.
Bummer.
Least I've got the DVDs.
I've gotta crack those open someday.
Been too long.
Alexei Sayle's Stuff (1988-1991)
(Again, we got it mid-90's)
Our PBS was cool, they played Blackadder, Red Dwarf, and this back, to back, to back.
Sadly, this didn't last as long, or get rerun as often as the other two.
It was just this weird British sketch show, and the opening catchphrase was "who was that fat bastard?".
Well, yeah, who WAS that fat bastard?
Dark Shadows (1991)
(reboot)
Old review here.
"Williiieee!!!".
The George Carlin Show (1994-1995)
Old review here.
I've watched all these again since the old review, and it's watered down and corny compared to his concerts, but still better than most sitcoms today.
I'd put it somewhere in "Archie Bunker's Place", territory.
More balls than "One Day At A Time", but not quite in the darker episode of "All In The Family", zone.
Again, needs a disc release.
...course, disc is dying, and everything's VOD.
But everything isn't VOD, they leave a lot of shit out.
Disc backup ensures the rare titles see their time in the sun too.
Dammit.
Fucking youngsters and their cellphones.
Rassafrassen.
Mundane-noodle!
Not-a-finger!
TNG seasons 3-7 (1990-1994)
Old review here.
Man, the criticism in the old review keeps being more true.
You look at the effects on the Discovery trailer, and TNG/DS9/Voy/Ent look like Geico ads in comparison.
They tried future-proofing TOS with special edition CG bullshit, but that shit dated 6 months later.
Nevermind the years its been now.
Comes down to story, and again, TNG had a lot of filler.
It ain't holding up so well.
It used to be just TNG's problem, but they're all creaking on rusty hinges now.
In a world with "Game Of Thrones", and "Preacher", and "American Gods", what can Trek bring to the table anymore?
We'll just have to see.
We'll. Just. Have. To. Seeeeee.....
Deep Space Nine (1993-1999)
Ditto most of the above, and the link.
Ages better because of the grittier stories, and the better characters, but even this one is starting to rust up a little.
If I gotta watch one, I'll go with this if I have the choice.
I don't think I hate any Trek.
Not anymore.
Used to be hip to hate on certain ones, but what wasted energy that was/is in a world with war crimes.
That snotty hipster phase seems to be a white boy disease.
Deepest apologies to the universe for indulging it in those days.
Voyager (1995-2001)
This is the one that gets all the shit.
They've been having marathons on H&I, and BBC-America, and....yeah, it's often lackluster, and plodding, and vanilla, and the technobabble is like something out of Axe Cop the older it gets, but it's not detestable.
I can watch it.
I've suffered through so much worse.
Fanboys that hate this act like this thing killed their dad, and raped their mom and sister, and made them watch.
Get a fucking grip.
I'll watch the worst reruns of this over Dr. fucking Phil any fucking day.
I'll watch "Fairhaven", over 5 minutes of a reality show about Jesus freaks with a gross pile of kids.
How many of those shows have been tainted by pedophiles lately?
It ain't zero.
It ain't fucking zero.
And even though the scripts are bland, and the music is a lullaby, I like some of the actors.
The Doctor is good, Seven became a fun character even though she was conceived as T&A, Roxanne Dawson is a cool chick, even though the writers took a poop all over her character most times. And Kate Mulgrew does her goddamned best, even though the writers couldn't decide who she was episode to episode, so she looks like Sybil if you do a marathon.
And there are some genuinely good episodes sprinkled in there.
No, treating this show like a war crime was a hipster pastime, and it needs to end.
It wasn't cute, internet.
Not cute at all.
Dinosaurs (1991-1994)
Speaking of cute, this was a deceptively dark show.
I should have known, the core joke of it was, the dinosaurs died out by living like us.
So, in the finale, they actually had balls, and killed the fucking dinosaurs!
And not nice and quick, they're left to starve to death.
We'll never know if there was cannibalism, and if so, who ate who first.
My fan-fiction-y guess, dad ate the baby, the teenagers turned on the dad, and killed him for eating the baby, and ate him.
The mom gave herself willingly to keep the teens alive.
The teens wandered the Earth for scraps, but the daughter succumbed, and gave herself willingly to the son.
The son sooner or later got an injury that slowed him down, and ran afoul of cannibal gangs.
I'm picturing him being beaten to mush by Dinosaur-Negan.
Roseanne (1988-1997)
Speaking of fucked up finales!!!!
Dan's dead! The lesbian mother is straight! The straight sister is a lesbian!
The daughters husbands are swapped!
The whole show was a novel written by Roseanne after Dan died!
Since they didn't really win the lottery, we have no fucking idea how they financially survived the loss of the key bread-winner!
WT-actual-F?!?!?!
Oh, sorry, spoilers?
Tough.
You had 20 fucking years.
A reunion special is coming, and it seems like it's erasing at least some of that ending as an alternate timeline, or dream, or something, because Dan is back to life.
Stay tuned, this show ain't over yet after all!
Frasier (1993-2004)
Yep, between this and Cheers, Kelsey Grammer was Frasier for 20 goddamned years!
Talk about job security!
Alien Nation (1989-1990)
(Revival movies, 1994, 1996, 1996 (again), 1997)
Original review here.
Like I said there...
I must have loved the shit out of it, because I watched every episode of the TV series .... and all the reunion movies.
Produced by Kenneth Johnson who did Hulk, and V.
No wonder I dug it, I dig his style.
Some have called his style "shrill bonk you on the head moralizing", but those people can eat my dick in a hot dog bun with mustard and relish.
For 1000 years, in a "Groundhog Day", loop.
Chicago Hope (1994-2000)
Everyone else on Earth was into "ER", but I watched "Chicago Hope".
Why?
Because Mandy Patinkin, bitch!!
Inigo Montoya, muthfucka!!
Yeah, it jumped the shark after he left, but I hung on for Adam Arkin, and the dude from "Shocker".
I should have bailed when Eric Stoltz joined.
Bleauurgh.
Oh, he's good enough in other stuff, but his character in this was an insufferable nitwit.
They had Patinkin come back in the final season, and fire all the shitty new characters, including Stoltz, but the damage was done.
The show bled out and died on the table.
The aorta was torn, there was no stopping the blood.
*Sob*
Grand (1990)
It had Bonnie Hunt, Joel Murray, John Neville, and Michael McKean, and was a spoof on soap operas.
I thought it was cute.
Deserved a longer life than it got.
Here's the theme song.
There, now you can have that earworm for the next 27 years like I have.
Herman's Head (1991-1994)
"Inside Out", totally stole this.
Except, instead of a little girl, it's the good-guy from "Fright Night".
The girlfriend from "Fright Night", became Marcy from "Married With Children".
Jerry Dandridge from "Fright Night", became Prince Humperdink from "Princess Bride".
Also Yeardly Smith (Lisa Simpson) was one of his co-workers.
Won't lie, kinda had a little crush on her.
Anyway, I vaguely remember what the head-people represented, but I most clearly remember the fat guy wanted Herman to fuck everybody, and eat everything.
You can tell just by looking at him.
The Flash (1990)
Old review of the DVDs here.
Course, now the new CW show is on, and part of a larger DC-TV universe, and all of the main cast of the '90 show has been on it, including Mark Hamill as Trickster, so I count it as this show is retroactively still on.
Seinfeld (1989-1998)
If you existed in the 90's, you watched this.
It was mandatory.
News Radio (1995-1999)
Old review here.
The best show no one watched.
Way to go, America.
This was better than Seinfeld, its held up way better in reruns, it deserved so much better.
704 Hauser (1994)
The lost sequel to the Archie-Bunker-verse.
A black family moves into Archie's old house, and have political arguments like the old days.
The son is a black conservative.
The mom and dad are liberal.
The dad is the dude who played James from "Good Times".
The white girlfriend of the son is the chick from "News Radio".
She didn't even change her hairdo!
We need to be bombarded with these fucking shows as a culture.
It's not enough to make them, rerun them, and forget about it, there needs to be another batch of people in that house right now.
Rotating casts every decade.
Get a fucking Trump voter in that Archie chair, and have his son be a Bernie voter, the daughter-in-law be a Hillary person, and have the neighbors be Mexican.
Grow some balls, America.
Anyhoo, you can watch all these on Youtube.
I think there's only like, 4 of 'em.
The pilot is a little bit cringe-y but it gets better quick, and it really could have been something.
Quantum Leap (1989-1993)
Old review here.
Every few years, I hear mumblings of a reunion, or a reboot, but I ain't holding my breath.
They're bringing back stuff like "Full House", and the aforementioned "Roseanne", for reunions, but "Quantum Leap", was way more of a cult show than those.
Closest we'll ever get to a reunion for a long time, is the episode of "Enterprise", where Dean Stockwell popped up.
Jeez, if they're ever gonna do a straight up reunion movie, they'd better hurry the Hell up, Dean's in his 80's.
I wouldn't dig a reboot, because the core premise is the leaper travels along his/her lifetime.
Sam was a baby-boomer, and they got to see some real history.
Put an x-er or millennial in there, it just won't be the same.
But, what do I know?
They might find a clever twist on it.
Sliders (1995-2000)
Original review here, nested within the "My Secret Identity", review.
Said most of it there.
This one needs a reunion to repair the damage of its last few seasons.
They really had something there starting out.
The dopey network fucking blew it.
Way to go, Fox.
Brilliant decision makers you've got over there.
As for Jerry O'Connell, he was last seen playing Herman Munster.
Speaking of that, they're about to reboot Munsters again already.
Sheesh.
That 70's Show (1998-2006)
Ahhh, Laura Prepon (cartoon hearts float over head).
*Googles* she's a fuckin' Scientologist!?!?
Goddammit!
*Loses boner*
Muppets Tonight (1996-1998)
I don't remember much about this, except that it wasn't as magical as the original, but still better than the recent reboot they did that tried to be like "The Office".
Anyway, this existed.
Tales From The Far Side (1994)
Damn, 1994? It was that long ago?? It feels like a couple years ago!!
Damn!
I still remember it like it was new.
They never played it again either.
I think you can watch it on Youtube, or Dailymotion.
Part II???
*Googles* oh, only England got it.
Lucky bastids.
The Machine That Changed The World (1992)
Goddamn!! 1992!?!?
Anyway, this was a documentary on the rise of computers from WWII to '92.
I thought it was the most awesome science-y thing ever, but now the computers in that would look like total dogshit now.
Hell, the internet hadn't even become itself yet.
I had no idea what I was going to live to see.
Even their most boldest predictions were weak sauce.
This needs an update.
Although, you could probably find better histories of computers on Youtube.
In fact, I'm sure you could.
Late Night With Conan O'Brien (1993-2009)
Old review here.
So, unless you've been under a rock, you know he got upgraded to "The Tonight Show", then NBC and Jay screwed him, then he went on "The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour", which he turned into the documentary "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop".
If you want to see him be candid about his anger at his screwing, that's where he vents it.
Andy Richter is downright profane about it.
It's beautiful.
Dig up that doc, and check it out.
Now he's on "Conan", for TBS, and it's pretty much a time warp back to '93.
Shit, I should watch it more.
I'm guilty as hell.
I just don't watch much TV period anymore.
I've got my handful of appointment shows, then everything else is YouTube and podcasts.
Hmm, I ought to do a list of my favorite podcasts sometime.
It keeps changing.
I had to slaughter a bunch of 'em over Ghostbusters, and then Trump.
I said it before, but there ended up being a Venn diagram of Ghostbusters haters and Trumpsters, including Trump himself.
Ghostbusters was the canary in the coal mine.
I saw the signs.
No one would listen.
Now we've got Tiki torch Nazis.
Good job, America.
I bet they were Jay fans.
See how I brought it all together?
In Living Color (1990-1994)
No way, it was only on 4 seasons?
That's depressing.
Could've sworn it hung on almost a decade.
It launched Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans, but everyone else kinda vanished.
David Alan Grier keeps popping up every now and then.
MadTV (1995-2009)
(Revival, 2016)
When SNL was dogshit after Will Farrell left, I totally switched to MadTV.
Then I missed Kristen Wiig's whole damned career rise, and had to play catch up when she became a Ghostbuster.
Michael McDonald from MadTV is in Ghostbusters ATC, so it all balances out.
Somehow.
Because reasons.
Shut up!
Even if you loathed this show, it launched Nichole Sullivan, Alex Borstein, Jordan Peele, Keegan-Michael Key, Frank Caliendo, Andy Daley, and Phil LaMarr.
No MadTV, no "Get Out".
Kiss MadTV on the mouth.
Do it.
*Pulls gun*
I said do it.
Saturday Night Special (1996)
Roseanne tried to make a sketch comedy show.
It lasted a month.
I hated it.
I can't find images from it.
Why is it on this list?
To make you appreciate MadTV.
And to be completist about how many SNL clones the 90's had running around.
The Ben Stiller Show
(1989-1990 (MTV))
(1992-1993 (Fox))
Gave us Ben Stiller, Janine Garofolo, Andy Dick, and Judd Apatow.
Judd Apatow gave Paul Feig's career a shot in the arm, and then he directed Ghostbusters ATC.
No Ben Stiller, no Ghostbusters revival.
Kiss Ben Stiller on the mouth.
Don't make me get the gun again.
Anyhoo, this was genuinely funny, then Ben Stiller's career after this was rom-coms and kiddie shit, and he wasn't his true self again until "Zoolander".
Then he recently did "Zoolander 2", and ruined everything.
Yeah, you wanna see a bad followup to an original film with Kristen Wiig, this is the one you should cry about, not Ghostbusters.
Watch "Zoolander 2", and then come back, and kiss Ghostbusters ATC on the mouth.
With tongues.
Hard.
Really get in there.
Syndication-
Space Precinct (1994-1995)
Hmm, how to describe?
Imagine a G-rated "Red Dwarf", that took itself seriously, was written like a Saturday morning cartoon, but imagined it was "Babylon 5", level good.
I admired its pluck and ambition.
It wasn't cringe-y, it was actually pretty watchable.
The lead aliens were done with actors in puppet heads instead of regular makeup.
They looked pretty good for the budget.
"Farscape", would go on to use puppet characters, but this gets no credit for starting that trend.
I actually kinda wish someone would buy the rights to this, and give the reruns a couple spins.
Wasn't the best thing in the world, but it wasn't bad either.
Island City (1994)
A TV movie that was a failed series pilot.
So, wrap your head around this, the good guys were into eugenics in this.
Yeah.
The backstory to this universe is, humans came up with a formula for eternal youth and health, and gave it to everyone who wanted it, which is almost everyone, but a not insignificant chunk of the population had a bad reaction to it, and de-evolved into violent rapey cavemen.
The cavemen are sealed outside of a force-field domed city called Island City where all the pretty people live.
The pretty people figured out that regressive cavemen could still be born among them from the wrong mix of genes, so they tighten control on mating and breeding by giving everyone mood ring sternum implants that change a certain color for certain DNA types, and only people of the same implant color can date and fuck.
One of the good guys is a child of caveman rape, so he's got caveman features, but is intelligent, and fights for the good guy's team.
His implant is black, so he's not allowed to fuck anyone.
All of this is the backdrop and setup, the main plot is the good guys go out in armored transports to rescue normal people out in the wastelands from caveman rape.
There seems to have been some environmental apocalypse on top of everything else, because only the dome cities are safe.
It's....interesting.
You can watch it on Youtube.
You can decide whether to laugh or be horrified.
Giving it the MST3K treatment would help you through either.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995-1999)
-And-
Xena: Warrior Princess (1995-2001)
Old reviews here.
These are still in rerun circulation.
Kevin Sorbo got his spine cracked by a chiropractor, and somehow, this made him see Jesus, and now he does horrible Christian movies that hate-monger against atheists.
So, stay the fuck away from chiropractors, kids.
Lucy Lawless retained her marbles, and is in Ash vs Evil Dead, and is still a goddess.
Robocop (1994-1995)
Old review here.
Hmm, think I said it all there.
Yep.
Babylon 5 (1994-1998)
Old review here.
There's no doubt now that Deep Space Nine ripped this off.
I don't know WHY they did, they didn't need it, there was no pressing need for them to steal someone else's idea when they already had a rich universe of their own to build ideas off of.
Did they see this show, even in unborn form, as a morbid threat to Trek's ratings?
I dunno. We'll never know.
The parties involved will take the thought process involved to their graves.
But, whatever, each show ended up having its own identity, its own arc, its own message, so they stand apart.
Just wish I could find this in reruns somewhere.
I said in the old review that I wondered if this holds up, but...fuck it, I still watch old TNG with its crummy CGI, so this must be okay to revisit.
The Outer limits (1995-2002)
Eh, it's all right.
There's some good ones in there.
My favorite is "abduction", which is about school shootings, but with a sci-fi twist.
Liked the song at the end too.
Fans have sifted it out, here's that.
Very 90's.
No one knows the band, the singer, there's no single for it, it's just one of those lost orphaned songs that float away and pop like a bubble and vanish unless you catch them.
Hulu has the whole episode, but I dunno if they're free anymore.
Holy fuck, I'm finally done!!!
I dunno why this one was so hard.
I pecked away at it two shows at a time, couldn't work up the will on some days, but it's finally finished.
Hopefully the next one will fly by easier.
It's part 2 of TV, cable TV.
Crazier shit on cable, so it was more fun, so the memories should be more fun and flow easier.
So, yeah, up next, 90's cable TV!!
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