Saturday, May 25, 2019

Meedyah Morsels #76.

Star Wars news that dropped yesterday, and I'm catching up...

A "Knights Of The Old Republic", movie, adapted from the game, and leading into a trilogy of films.

Laeta Kalogridis (writer on "Avatar" and "Shutter Island") is said to be almost finished with the script, and she started writing it in spring of 2018.

There are multiple possibilities here.

1. The report just isn't true.
2. It's true, and it's a Disney+ streaming thing.
3. It's true, and it's the Benioff & Weiss thing.
3. It's true, and it's separate from the Benioff & Weiss thing, and we won't see it until 2028-2032.
4. It's true, and it's after B&W, after Rian Johnson, and we don't see it until 2034!!
5. It's true, and it's going in-between B&W movies, and they lied about the schedule release.

The specificity of a writer attached, and that the script is almost ready would seem to shoot down 3, and 4.
Why go to the trouble of writing something now that we won't see for a fucking decade?
So many things can change between then and now, all that work could be flushed down the toilet.
They had a hard enough time holding on to the original writer/director of Episode 9, for chrissake.

5 fails out of the gate, because Disney doesn't keep movies secret by making them invisible, they just hide the title by calling it "untitled _____ project", because they still want that time slot locked down.

2 is faintly possible, but they've openly and proudly shot off their big fat mouths about their TV series projects, cuz they want you to buy their service, and they need all the publicity for it they can muster.

Cassian Andor has no directors, writers, actors, anything, and Bob Iger spilled the beans on that years ahead of time.

No, they're probably not going to hide a whole movie trilogy on there.
They want you to know.
That would be a bigger deal than The Mandalorian, and they're leading with Mandalorian.
All their eggs are totally in that basket.

That leaves only that it's the title/setting of the Benioff & Weiss trilogy, or that the report is fake/mistaken.

But, even if it's true, the facts and details could be mistaken.

The specificity of that writer being on board lends it some credence.
If it's a lie, it's a good lie.
And she has yet to come out and shoot the report down.
But it's early yet.

For now, I'm leaning towards it being the Benioff & Weiss thing, but fan wish fulfillment theories have leaked in, and obscured the finer details.

If it turns out to be 100% true though, that's great.

So, that's that.
Say tuned for further details.

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Friday, May 24, 2019

Big 2019 Movies Part 7.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's....

Brightburn (2019)

Let's get right to the rundown...
  • I dug it.
  • It delivered the goods of what it promised.
  • It is what it looks like, Evil Superman gone R rated crazy.
  • Very gory. I could have used more, but I'm a weirdo.
  • Us Gen-X-er Elseworlds and Vertigo readers were totally ready for this. I dunno if the general public is. The reaction is going to be interesting.
  • You can tell how the suits categorize these things by the trailers you get. I got "Spider-Man: Far From Home", "Dark Phoenix", and "IT: Chapter Two". Of course, I'm gonna see all 3 of those flicks anyway, so....
  • It'll be interesting to see how this does. It only cost 7 million, so if its opening weekend is just 10, it profits. I definitely don't think it's gonna make "IT", money.
  • I wanna see weird things like this succeed so we get more. Not necessarily sequels to this, but just more things that play with the genre formula, and color outside the lines.
  • Compared to what I've seen so far, I liked it a smidge better than "Pet Sematary", definitely better than "Hellboy", I think....I'd put it tied with "Glass". Yeah, that's about right.
  • I won't compare it to the Marvel/DC stuff, that's on it's own level.
  • Not for kids. I had 3 unsupervised little dickhead kids up in the front row. I dunno if they stayed for the whole thing, they were vanished when the lights came up. Happy nightmares, ya little idiots. Muahahhaa!
  • Yeah, I'm glad I saw it.

If you're saving your theater money for the big giant Marvel/DC/Pixar/Star Wars stuff, you could probably wait for cable/streaming, but if you have a couple extra bucks you don't know what to do with, and you have dark tastes, check this out.
Give it a whirl.

Next up, in two weeks, Dark Phoenix!!!

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Thursday, May 23, 2019

Meedyah Morsels #75.

I think I've finally settled on the perfect viewing order for the Fox X-Men-verse.

The MCU is a little bit tricky, but ultimately, the Legos pop together easily once you find the pattern, because it was planned out with a design in mind.

Fox....they've kind of treated continuity like a cute suggestion from a dumb temp.

Well, dammit, with tenacity, and willpower, and just plain cussedness, I've hammered the sumbitch into a manageable shape.

So, here it is.
How to watch the X-Men movies.

1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Yep, this one goes furthest back in the pre-Future-Past timeline.
Pre-Revolutionary War, then we montage through Revolutionary War, Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korea, and then Vietnam.
Then we end up overall in the 80's, and head towards X1.

Theoretically, the original un-altered "First Class", happens in the 60's of this timeline...but let's keep it simple, and skip right to X1.

2. X-Men

And the prequel setup stuff in Origins mates back up here.
Especially the flashbacks to Wolverine's adamantium origin.
The only glitch being Sabertooth being radically different,, fuck it.
We're just gonna have to eat little re-casting glitches like that if this is going to work at all.

3. X2: X-Men United

Picks right up from X1, and we're moving right along.
The Stryker stuff hooks right up to Origins.

4. X3: X-Men: The Last Stand

Picks right up from X2, and we're still moving right along.

5. The Wolverine

Picks up from events in X3, and the after-credits of X3 hooks up to the after credits of this one, which in turn sets up "Future Past".

But first....

6. X-Men: First Class

...we have to jump back to the 60's of this one.

As mentioned at Origins, this could be crammed in there before X1....but it's the past for both splintering timelines, and why watch it twice for the sake of two timeline branches?
It goes to one spot or the other, and it belongs more with it's sequels than the classic timeline.

Plus it leads right into "Future Past", which picks up from "The Wolverine", and "Future Past", references this one too, so...yeah.
The placing of this, and Origins is what fucked me up for the longest time.
Whichever way you go has a ripple effect.
I think this order irons out the ripples pretty well.

7. X-Men: Days Of Future Past

And then, this is where the second major timeline splits off, and used to make things complicated.
Now, I've got it sorted.
See "First Class".

8. X-Men: Apocalypse

And now the new timeline catches back up to the 80's, and cancels out Origins.
But, Origins had to happen for us to get here.
Time travel is funky like that.

9. Dark Phoenix

Haven't seen this yet, dunno how it ends, but we have had it spoiled in the trailer that Mystique dies, so it's definitely not going to mate back up to a duplicate of the X1, X2, X3 continuity for sure.

It can however still mate up to the "happy ending", timeline at the end of "Future Past".
Jean, Cyclops, Beast, Iceman, and Rogue were all alive, but Mystique was nowhere around.
Barring a huge twist like EVERYONE dies, it can still fit.

Assuming it does, then....

10. Deadpool

...happens, and catches us up to modern day for the first time since "The Wolverine".

11. Deadpool 2

Okay, things get a tad tricky here, but only a tad.

Yes, it picks right up from Deadpool, goes out of its way in the poster and within the movie to try to ruin "Logan", for you if you haven't seen it.

SO! If you're a first time newbie, watch "Logan", first, THEN this one, THEN on future re-watches, put "Logan", where I have it below.

And arrange them on your shelf in this order.

Also, there's an X-Men Origins joke in the after credits that only pays off if you've seen it.
So it's gotta be in there.

Another dark future is created and un-created here, but since it's all in one movie, we don't need to sweat it so much.
No need for a third timeline is what I'm saying.

12. The New Mutants

Like with "Dark Phoenix", this isn't out yet, but we got a trailer, and from that, we can tell that they're locked up in an evil prison/asylum like the kid in "Deadpool 2", so there's no reason it can't fit into that timeline.

13. Logan

And, in spite of "Future Past", and "Deadpool 2", we end up in yet another dark future.
One that references X1, so events similar to it happened regardless of how "Dark Phoenix", turns out.

And that's always the end.
And the X-verse is bookended by Wolverine movies.
As is proper.

And finally....

14. Whatever MCU does with them.

Which I speculated on here.

And that's the third timeline.
But by then, it blends into MCU, and MCU is its own continent.

And bam, there you go.
Nice and simple.

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Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Revisits #38.

In "Location blogging #11, Saco/Biddeford in review", I talked about my MP3 player, and the joy of listening to podcasts in the car.

And it's prequel was "Location blogging #7", and its followup was "Location blogging #12",

10 years ago, that was just starting to become a thing.
Now, cars come with built in USB ports, and there are a jillion-billion podcasts on any topic you can think of.

In fact, I posted a list of my favorites 2 years ago.

I get most of my entertainment through internet now.

I haven't busted out that little Sansa player in ages.
I dunno if it'll even hold a charge anymore.
No need, really.
It has a USB on it, so I could just use it as a USB to get it into the car, but then all that extra hardware goes to waste, and the memory capacity is nothing compared to what you can just go and buy at the grocery store, nevermind at Best buy, or online.

It was fun while it lasted though.
But technology marches on.

Happy memories.

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Sunday, May 19, 2019

Happy 20th Anniversary, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace!!

Yep, the first new Star Wars movie.
It was the test pancake after the 16 year hibernation.
And now we get Star Wars forever.
Like James Bond, and Star Trek.

As I said 7 years ago in "The elephant in the room"...

So, naturally wanting a return on that investment, Disney wants to churn these babies out every 2 years, instead of every 3, so that means, 2015, 2017, and 2019....which lands on the 20th anniversary of "The Phantom Menace".

That's...going to be an interesting milestone.

Maybe I thought I was gonna be depressed and/or horrified, or something.
Maybe be all "oh, woe is me, I'm gonna be 44 in a couple months!".
Nope, I made it through, and I ain't flinching.
I survived more traumatic shit than a movie getting old.
I ain't gonna piss on the flick either.
I did all that crap already.

So, my original review is in "I Love Star Wars".

And my re-appraisal is in "I don't h8 The Prequels anymore (Part 1)".

And, I guess this post will count as Part 2.

Now, I'm just going to philosophically reflect on the whole experience.

I remember downloading the trailer on dial-up modem for over an hour.

I remember being as jazzed for it as I was for "Freddy vs Jason", "The Force Awakens", "Ghostbusters: Answer The Call", and "Avengers: Endgame".

And now that I look back, nothing could have lived up to those expectations.

Especially looking at where George was coming from.

George wasn't looking to live up to 16 years of hype, and our childhoods elevating these movies to godhood status.
He was just making another movie.
Another episode in his serial.

And it was Episode 1 in his serial, so nothing happens!
He wasn't making "Endgame", he was making "Captain America: The First Avenger"!!
Or, if you prefer, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".

We already saw the "Endgame", of his original 6, and it was "Return Of The Jedi".

We got bigger and more dramatic and explodey and lightsaber-choppy in "Revenge Of The Sith", but that wasn't "Endgame", either, that was the sad last 5 minutes of "Infinity War", as a whole movie.
It was episode 5 of season 8 of Thrones.

Us dumb fanboys/fangirls wanted....well, three "Force Awakens".

George had no intention of giving us that.

And he told us so, and we didn't listen.

20 years later, and a Harry Potter saga, and an Infinity saga, and a Game Of Thrones under my belt, I finally get it.

And I'm laughing at the "The Last Jedi", haters, and the Thrones season 8 haters, because they're doing it all over again.
They learned nothing.
They learned absolutely nothing.

There's no learning curve with these people.

Their loss, and their self-destruction.
You can't save people from themselves.

Yep, Phantom Menace was the birth of toxic fandom. was the birth of toxic genre film fandom.

Sports fandom had been rotten and awful for centuries.

Movie and theater critics were rotten and awful, but they were in their own little clique bubble, and you could just not read their dopey newspaper articles, and their poison stayed on the page next to Charlie Brown and Garfield.

Phantom Menace was the first controversial fan-dividing film that got the full internet treatment.
Boy, weren't they lucky.
*Sad head shake*

But, now that all the bullshit has blown over, how do I look at the film now?

It's fine.
I might watch it today in remembrance.
It has its good parts, it has its goofy parts, it's the least good one of the ten we currently have, but weak Star Wars is still pretty good.

Like how "Iron Man 2", and "Thor The Dark World", are low on everyone's Marvel countdown, but they're still watchable films with enjoyable bits.

There's really nothing in the prequels they couldn't have substituted practical effects for, if a practical version of them had come out in 86, 89, and 92, with no internet howler monkey brigade to shit all over them, I think we'd be mostly fine with them.

There'd be nitpicks, but there wouldn't be this boiling hatred, and whining entitled "you ruined my childhood", bullshit.

The nine Star Wars films being spaced out over three generations has been an interesting little sociology experiment.

It's been fun being a part of it.

It'll be interesting to see how "The Rise Of Skywalker", goes down with "the fandom", and how all 9 saga movies are digested by generation Z when they all turn 40.

You were an okay little movie, Phantom Menace.
Flawed, yes.
Oh, Hell yes.
You just came out at a bad time.
The winds of history just didn't blow your way.

But, I think it'll all balance out in the end.

That's it, I guess.

Now, to retro-link this to "Happy 20th anniversary of Krazyfool's Den Of Delusion!!!", and "Happy twelfth Star Wars day".

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Saturday, May 18, 2019

Meedyah Morsels #74.

Dan Aykroyd talked recently about the future of the GB franchise.

First, he mended fences with Paul Feig by saying..

Ivan Reitman’s son Jason has written a beautiful script, I can’t say too much about it but it’s going to get made and hopefully there’ll be some familiar faces…. But I don’t want to discount the work that the girls did with Paul Feig. I kind of got mad, but I realized I should have blamed myself as a producer, the costs were out of control, I should have been watching as a producer a little more, but you don’t dispute with your director.

You hire a director, you trust a director, you trust their vision. But the job that (stars) Kate (McKinnon), and Kristen (Wiig), and Leslie (Jones) and Melissa (McCarthy) did and indeed Paul did on that movie was superior, or superb. We would have done another one but, again, the cost overruns prevented the studio from looking at it and doing another ladies’ movie….

Now we’re going to do it in a sensible way. Costs will be under control and it’ll be brought in for a sensible budget without waste and that’s what’s important now in getting it made.

Then, when discussing Ghostbusters 3/Ghostbusters 2020 he said...

It’s definitely going to be way under $100 (million). I would think. Movies cost a lot today. It can’t be $30 (million), $50 (million) would be stretching it. I don’t know. Listen, it’s going to be as little as we can spend.

I’m always urging to use puppets. I’m always urging to go back to the mechanicals. But CGI is so efficient and easy to use but I think that all of us are on board with the idea of maybe doing mechanicals and puppets where we can.

Then, finally, he said...

… I’ve written “Ghostbusters High,” where they meet in New Jersey in 1969 and we’re looking to do that as probably a glorified feature or pilot within the next maybe five years…. And it would lead to a television project and I thought of him immediately for that.
It’s on his desk but that’s years away from the current project. But it’s a neat idea for a prequel. Imagine casting the three characters as teenagers!

… We have at least one or two other concepts for the “Ghostbusters” and then we’ll look at doing the prequel, which will be a perfect button on all we’ve done up to that point.

A lot to unpack here.

Okay, let's start with the 5 year gap there.
He says there's a couple other projects in between there.
So, Ghostbusters 2020, something else, something else, then Ghostbusters High.
We know one of those is the delayed animated movie.


GB3- 2020
GB animated 2021-2022
GB???? 2023-2024
GB High 2025

Yeah, that looks about right.

Geez, I hope Dan and Bill and Ivan live long enough for this stuff!

Now, my opinion on "Ghostbusters High".

*Cringe, teeth grind, neck tendons pop out*

I mean...they don't see their first ghost until the library ghost, and they don't strap on the proton packs until they go bust Slimer.

So, unless they're going to violate the shit out of canon, it's just going to be these young teenage guys being wacky, and believing in unproven nonsense.

I guess you could have some wizard erase their memories or something....

Hey, I've got it!
They have a fourth friend (no Winston yet) who dies, and it's Slimer!
Find a chubby John Belushi type.

Okay, I've talked myself into it.
Let's see if this thing even happens.

As for the other stuff, I'm glad they're going to do it on the cheap, the budgets of the first two are part of their charm.
I mean, they were expensive for comedies, and for their day, but compared to today, they're practically indie films.
Fan films today pull off the kind of effects they did then, and for a hundred grand or so.

And, I'm glad he pulled Paul Feig out from under the bus.
That was nice.
Especially where Feig and the two Reitmans are going to have a director's panel at the 35th anniversary convention.
You don't need drama and awkwardness there.

Anyway, the next 5 years are going to be interesting for Ghostbusters fans.

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Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Meedyah Morsels #73.

And the title for the Picard show is....

Star Trek: Picard (2019)

That's the best they could come up with?
I'll get used to it.

And here's a set pic that tells us nothing.

So, we know what to call it now, and it's...pretty much what we've been calling it.

So, chronologically, that's...

1. Enterprise
2. Discovery
3. The Original Series
4. The Next Generation
5. Deep Space Nine
6. Voyager
7. Picard

All for now.
See you next time.


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