Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Comics that changed my life forever (Part 6).


Fuck it, let's go for broke.


Thor Annual #10 (1982)


Or, as I will now call it, "Raunchy Thor", the sequel to "Raunchy Hulk".

So, just two years after "Raunchy Hulk", my sexuality was starting to bud, and I was noticing certain things giving me a tingle, and then this comes along.

Fuck describing it, let's take a look.


Naked chick.


Naked chick and dude.
Wait, let's zoom in on the upper right panel there....


Okay, the rest could be explained as innocent and incidental, but there's no mistaking this bit.



Naked tentacle orgy before the Japanese made it a genre.
Truly, 80's Marvel was "the house of ideas".


Look, ladies, Chris Hemsworth's ass!

Anyhoo, this was before internet porn, and oogling the Sears catalog underwear section would have raised suspicion, so this is what I had to work with.
Give my 7 year old self a break, folks.


Marvel Two-In-One #100 (1983)


Another one from that magical year of 1983.
Something about 1983 was ground-zero for child warping.

Another one where descriptions won't do it justice.


It's the choking sobs that really drove it the rest of the way under my skin.
Yeesh.

Anyway, this happened in an altered timeline, so the "real", Red Skull didn't go out this way.
But, if he did, we now know he'd go out like a bitch.
*Evil smirk*


Green Lantern #162 (1983)


Exploding kid, kids!!

I know, you sick bastards want to see it.
So do I.
Muahaha!


Course, nowadays, Neil Degrasse Tyson would be tearing the science apart on that.


Captain America #345 (1988)


"Captain America?!?! What could possibly be fucked up in the book of a whitebread hero like Captain America!?!?".

Oh, just this...



Yep, Cap goes Hugo Danner on some right-winger militant asses, and stomps them into ketchup.

Now, before you totally shit your pants, that's not Steve Rogers Cap, that's his temporary replacement, John Walker.

Still...wouldn't you love to see Chris Evans acting that out anyway?
*Evil grin*

So, that's those.
I think that's all of it.
I'll probably remember more.

And, retro-link!

Read More......

Monday, November 17, 2014

Comics that changed my life forever (Part 5).


This'll have to be another retro-linker....

So, I covered all the sickie books that "warped", me.

Now, I loop back to part 1 with all my firsts.

All right, in 1979, dad gave me my first comic, and it was Batman, because I was into the Adam West spinoff cartoon.

So, we continue from there...


Star Wars #23 (1979)


I'm dead certain this was my second comic ever.
My first batch of comics all connected to a show or movie.
I was a Star Wars nut, had all the figures, so, this was the obvious next step.

The Marvel run got sneered at during the Bantam novel/Dark Horse comics years...but then those got so formulaic and silly, the Marvels started looking good by comparison, and then Dark Horse reprinted them, and people saw they weren't so bad.
In fact, a lot of them were fucking great, and gave the best of Dark Horse a run for their money.

Now, with Disney owning Marvel and Star Wars, Star Wars is back under Marvel's roof again, and hardly anyone complained.

So, what's cool and uncool is arbitrary, and decided by dipshit hipsters, and you're best off liking what you like, and fuck everyone else.


Hulk #235 & #241 (1979)


And these were my first Hulks.
Naturally, because I was bonkers for the show.

Now, which one of these was exactly first is fuzzy to me.
"It's #235 you idiot!!".
Well, not necessarily.
See, back in my day, they had this thing where back-issues were packaged up in plastic bags, and put on end caps in toy departments of departments stores.

So, I could've gotten #241 as the new one, and #235 after as the plastic-wrapped oldie.
In fact, I'm pretty certain #235 was in plastic regardless of when I got it.

Whichever order it was, they came within days/weeks of each other, so they're so closely tied, I'll just put them side by side.

My gut says #241 was first, but it's the kind of thing you can only really check with a time machine.

Oh, factoid, Machine-Man premiered in the "2001: A Space Odyssey", comic, so Hulk #235 is the Hulk/2001 crossover!
Talk about 70's, baby!


Action Comics #495-496 (1979)


And, these were to go with the Christopher Reeve movie.

Similar situation to the Hulks, #496 came in a baggie, and it might have even been the same baggie as #495, so I don't quite know the chronology.


Justice League Of America #162 (1979)


To go with the Superfriends cartoon.
And, you had Wonder Woman there, and I still had a crush on Linda Carter.

It was a weird one, they were fighting animals evolved into humanoids.
Kind of Superfriends vs. Dr. Moreau.


Hulk #249 (1980)


Got this one down in Florida on my first trip to Disneyworld.

It vanished when we got home; I was heartbroken.
It never left my sight unless I was asleep, so I suspect shenanigans.
Anyway, I found it again at a flea market.
Couldn't fucking believe it.
No, not that exact one, a replacement, but still.

And, what the hell, let's chase the Florida theme down the rabbit hole...


Gumby's Winter Fun Special (1988)


See here.

My grandmother brought this one up from one of her Florida trips.


Hulk #372 (1990)


And, when I went down to Florida again two years later in 1990, I grabbed this one at Flea World, a flea market literally the size of a mall.
The only one I ever saw that made Shady Daves look pathetic and puny.

Their comic section wasn't a table or booth, it was a SHOP the size of Moonshadow!

Anyway, nobody stole it on me this time.
Fuckers.

And, the end.
Now, to retro-link.

Read More......

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Comics that changed my life forever (Part 4).

Ahhh, shit, shoulda done this in time for Halloween.
Well...I can retro-link it, I guess...


Weird Vampire Tales #502a (1981)


Funny thing, I don't remember this actual book, what I do remember, is THIS.


Heh, heh, yeah!

Some kid brought that onto the playground, and that messed me up, and excited me at the same time.

It burnt into my mind once and for all that the adults were full of shit punishing me all the time for drawing stuff like that, if other adults out there in the real world were making a fucking living off it.

"Hey, if school is to prepare me for my job, and I can't practice my job, what is this place even for?".

Apparently, those cross-eyed dolts didn't see it that way.

Anyway, I luckily stumbled onto that image curiosity Googling, and was able to trace back all the anthology issues it was reprinted in, and "Weird Vampire Tales", was the only one in the 1980's.
Gotta be that one.

The one the kid brought to school had the cover ripped off, and the little shit wouldn't let me read the fine print shit to lock in on it to find and buy somewhere.

Man, didn't you hate it when people were like that?
Didn't you, say, want to chop their heads off?
Y'know, inspired by comics?
Cuz they do that, you know.
No one's responsible, there's no such thing as free will, it's all movies and comics.
Only writers and artists have free agency, everyone else is a blank puppet.
...I digress...


Superman #400 (1984)


One of my favorite comics ever.
An anthology by all the greatest writers/artists at the time projecting what Superman would look like in the future.
The artist lineup is right on the cover.

The fuggin' cat shredded it. B-(

I just got it back though. B-)


Creepy #146 (1985)


Contains a story where a guy uses witchcraft to body-swap his bitchy girlfriend with his cat, then proceeds to fuck the shit out of his cat-girl.
But, it all backfires when he has to feed her and change her litter.

Like "Faust", I chickened out of buying it.
Probably woulda gotten thrown away on me.

Anyway, nabbed it today. B-)


Disgusting Comics: Hambo (1987)


I got "Disgusting Comics: Fatso Fanny", but I missed out on this one.
This one contained "Butcher Block", about a kid with a block for a head, and he sheathed his little cleaver in the cleft in his head, and then would whip out the cleaver to kill people, starting with his parents.

Man, these writers knew what kids wanted to see, I tell ya.

Anyway, I can't find this, I'm damned lucky I even got the cover to confirm I didn't hallucinate the thing.


What The--?! #5 (1989)


Wolverine vs. Punisher in parody form, long before they were ever allowed to meet for real.
It's a fucking riot.

Another one shredded by a cat.
Oh, and he pooped on it too.
No, not Wembley, the cat I had at the time, Fuzz-bucket.
Bastid.

Anyway, got it back.
And the whole rest of the fuggin' series too.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem...

Monsters Attack #1 (1989)


Contained a story called "Weirdbeard", about a zombie lumberjack with a demon living under his beard, and in his neck.
Gory as hell.
Chickened out buying it.
Dammit.

Traced it down, anyway.
Least I know what it is.
Maybe someday...
*Shrug*


So, that's those.
If I could get "Weird Vampires Tales", "Hambo", and "Monsters Attack", my collection would feel whole, I'm sure of it.

Now, to post and retro-link this puppy.

Read More......

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Shmegalamonga favicon!


Finally added one!


You folks probably noticed before now, but it finally kicked in for me.
Uploaded the damned thing 8 days ago.

Went 6 years not knowing how to add one, and it was right there in my face on the goddamned layout options, I just didn't know those little things were called "favicons".

And, when you ask people "how do you change that little logo that loads up in the corner?", you get "duhhhhh *tongue hangs out*".

Anyway, Hyla found it, I saw he had one, and just when I was gonna ask how he did it, he put it in his latest S.O.T.G.A.

Thanks, Hyla. :-D


Read More......

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Sony-Spidey cinematic universe updates (Part 3).


Okay, Paladin, NOW superhero movies are doomed.



Aunt May movie.

...I really hope this is a prank, but Latino Review has been a solid source in the past.


Read More......

Monday, November 10, 2014

DC Cinematic Universe updates. (part 3)


"Read more", space...


Harley's back in Suicide Squad!!!!!!!
She wasn't in the first draft, but David Ayer crammed her back in.
Bless you, Mr. Ayer!!

Oh, and she's casted.


Margot Robbie from "Wolf Of Wall Street".
I gotta get around to seeing that someday.

Also, rumors that Joker is in it, and they want Jared Leto, but I'll believe it when we get confirmation.

Read More......

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Crossovers #40.5!!


Number 40.

Okay, so here's the other one....

The Simpsons:
Simpsorama (2014)


Tch...well...it was...meh.
Wavy hand.

"The Simpsons Guy", was an epic, this one was like a weak Halloween episode.
Yeah...you can tell the Simpsons writers did this one.
Lower your expectations accordingly.

Plus, cramming it into a half hour didn't help.

It's mostly Bender meets Homer, the rest of the casts are just sort of there.
The other Futurama characters get shortest shrift.

Don't look for this to be a great new episode of Futurama.
It's just them sorta taking one last bow.

Whelp, that's it for TV mashups.
Next up, "Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice", I guess.


Read More......

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