Meaningless Slogans 2-Advertising.

It occurred to me in my last rant, that I didn't get to cover advertising as much as I'd have liked, and Philip's comment clinched it for me that I needed to do a rant specifically on the subject.

Advertising may seem like a benign irritant to most, but it does play into the whole mindless slogan/jargon/buzzword culture, and at best, it doesn't help, and at worst, it makes it worse, by helping to spread the bad memes.

And in the end, even if it's just an irritant, it's not good for you.

But, for dumb people, it's worse.
And this junk contributes to helping make new dumb people.
It's a deadly cycle.
As I will hopefully demonstrate.

And I really wouldn't mind so much, a fool and his money and all that..but it adds to a zeitgeist that puts horrible people near levers of power that never should have been.

And as with the political slogans, it just aids in dumbening everything.
Every time you buy some new flavor of belly wash cuz "Oooo! Gaurana! That sounds fancy! I bet my body needs that shit!", you've just become a little bit dumber.

Like political jargon, advertising has a language all its own.

And it IS its own language, people don't talk like this.

Homestyle! Zesty! New and improved! Deluxe sized!
All natural! Fruit flavored! Chocolaty! Hearty goodness!
And like political jargon, meaningless.
Sounds good, means nothing.
Trash language.
Neurological junk.
Wastes your braincells just hearing it.

One of the aspects I really despise, is how these infomercial quack medicines use pseudo-science babble in their sales pitches with no regard whatever for how this effects the public perception of science.

And it does.
When these shysters get exposed (via people buying these bullshit products, and them not working) who gets blamed?

Not the quacks, not the consumer looking in the mirror, and acknowledging their own stupidity.

Nope, it adds to the pile of incidents that make people distrust science.
And this doesn't hurt the quacks, they'll just shift the goalposts of their next sales pitch to be anti-science, and PROUDLY proclaim how their pills contain no science, but 100% all-natural hearty homestyle MAGIC!

Hell, they already do.
When a product is magic, they say it's "a secret from the Orient", or something similar.
They usually throw "herbal", in there too.

If it's pseudo-science, the Europeans get blamed.
"The latest new TECHNOLOGY from EUROPE!! The Ass-Peeler!!".

"Herbal", works for pseudo-science too.
It's become a holy industry term.

It is to advertising what "family", is to politics.

"Herbal lipids tweedle into your labonza, and exfoliate your flagentula!".

But, that's a weird cycle that goes on, people go to these shitty magic/pseudo-science pills from TV, because they distrust science in the form of mainstream modern western medicine, then their distrust of being ripped off by the TV pills makes them distrust science period, and they go in for the magic oriental creams, and crystal healing, and then they never come back from that abyss.

I don't fucking get it.
I don't get why dumb ideas sink so easily into the imagination, and right ones need to be blasted in with a missle.

Well...I think I may have an inkling...goes back to childhood, and how toys were marketed.

Hey, they said Optimus Prime was a mighty robot from Cyberton, and that promise delivered...in our imaginations...

Hey! Maybe medicine can work the same way!!
It must be true! It's on TeeVee!
Clap for Tinkerbelle!
Wheee!!

....there really needs to be critical thinking classes in schools.
They save it for college, so the ability to think for yourself becomes a privilege of a few.
And those few become our leaders.
And it's no wonder they have contempt for the sheep-like populace they herd.

Wouldn't have to be a deep advanced course, maybe some PBS/TLC specials or something.
Anything!
Anything would be better than the zombie noise culture we've got going on in the media now.

There's nothing out there teaching people to simply ask "hey...what's up with this jive bullshit?".
And then if they finally do get around to asking it, they rebel against everyone, and trust the wrong sorts of people.

They usually end up in the welcoming arms of a guru, or clergyman.
And anything that's good for them, is bad for everybody.

Course, distrust of modern medicine isn't helped by the drug companies, and their ads for the latest "wonder drugs", with their lists of hideous possible side effects.

"May cause beef-jerky dick, and shitting eyeballs".

But...at least they TELL you there are side effects, the fact the latest quack pecker-pill, or magic fat vanishing cream "from the Orient", allegedly does these radical science-fiction-y things to your metabolism, and there's supposedly NO side-effects doesn't deter anyone in the slightest!

Boy, people love being lied to.

Like little kids at bedtime story time that think Cinderella really happened.
And these people fucking vote.
*Head shake*

And it all intersects.
It's a big fucking spaghetti ball.

Religion plucks its memes totally out of thin air.
Totally made up bullshit.
Flat out.
Lock stock and barrel.
Made up bullshit story.
Like the alibi of a cheating boyfriend.

But THEN, politicians build their bullshit memes on "faith", and that's why their memes are junk.

And THEN, advertising uses patriotism memes, which come from political speeches, which come from religion, which come from nothing.

And THEN, politicians regurgitate Madison Avenue buzzwords!
Which built off patriotism slogans, which built on faith, which built on nothing.

And THEN, the whole rolling ball of bullshit falls off a cliff, splatters over Hollywood, and the whole thing gets eaten, and re-shat back at us, and becomes more catchphrases for the clergy and politicos to recycle.
And it all came from nothing!
A big ball of fucking, fucking, bullshit!
And everyone's desperately trying to shove it into your head!

And that's why this shit matters.

It all pays off for somebody, and they're never the good guys.
People who employ this shit are not your friends!

And advertising isn't just commercials.
As I intimated above with the example of Hollywood, these dumb ideas seep into the whole media, the media feasts on its own shit, and it recycles and clones until the bullshit ball becomes an impassable mountain.

Until we come up to now, and the bullshit is just totally fucking rampant.
There's commercials in your shows, there's commercials in your movies, and not just for products, but like with the political slogans, ideas.
And dumb ones.
Youth culture is just a big blister-packed product labeled "stupid", and MTV is the biggest infomercial.
It's the biggest infomercial, period, it's a 24/7 non-stop infomercial.
For shitty music, shitty clothes, shitty movies, shitty slang, and a guide on how to be an utter asshole in their reality shows.
The kind of assholes that need their shitty products.
So...it's an ad for shitty consumers.
So, they nail you at every age, sculpting the perfect sucker.
Toys, candy, then Clearasil, and khakis, then SUVs and Extenz.
But, I could do a whole fucking giant rant on MTV, and maybe I will someday.
What an abomination that electronic eyesore is.
And that's the kindest words I can use.

And it's really not even a conspiracy.
It doesn't have to be.
Just a million little lies, by a million little liars.
Day in, day out.

And by natural gaming theory, the liars figure out what's most advantageous, and who their best allies are, and the whole thing just sort of naturally drifts together into a working machine.

And part of the machine are all these polls, and focus groups, and social psychology studies.
This doesn't happen by accident.
No one pulled "homestyle", out of their ass, and crossed their fingers for it to work.
Dumbass yahoos plucked off the street pushed a happy-face button for "homestyle".
Cuz dumbass yahoos plucked off the street respond to "homestyle".
They want to picture their sainted granny cooking up a batch of manufactured bullshit.
It conjures home and hearth.
Even if their home and hearth was full of domestic violence and molestation.
Fuck, people love to be lied to.

Well, the ones that partake in focus groups.
Smart people say "go fuck yourself", and keep walking.

But all these things, home, hearth, mother, family, granny, military strength, masculine authority, etc, etc, they've been recycled throughout advertising history.
They hit primal buttons in people.
But...fuck that shit, fuck being a puppet.
Warm fuzzies are for sunrises, and fucking, not picking your dinner, or your political affiliation, or understanding the workings of the universe.

But, a lot of people think otherwise.
Which is why they listen to clergy and politicians.
Which weakens them for listening to everyone else.
Except to anyone who really makes sense.
They're armored against common sense by the bullshit they had crammed into heir head.
Which is why these bloodsuckers try so desperately to get you young.

So, it all comes back to teaching critical thinking.
Kids need to be taught that there's a lot of bullshit coming at them.
From everyone, even their own folks.

But, no one wants to take that on.
There's a buck to be made.
And the ones who care about higher things than bucks, are scared of the ones who don't.
Cuz they've proven by their raping of the world what lengths they'll go to.

And so the big bullshit ball rolls on and on...



(Audio version of this rant available)