Thursday, January 31, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter Six. (Jade Shade vs Peerless-Person)

The (old) Mayor, and Blackie Aaron, were dead.

Shivved in prison, by inmates related to their victims.

"Good enough for 'em", grumbled JS.

He was calmly busy working on a new mask, and this one was taking considerably more work than the current one.
He was endeavoring to replicate the process of the store-boughts, sculpting, molding, vacuum forming, the whole deal.

He was at the sculpting stage.
Slow going.
A lot of setbacks, and outright squashed flops.

As he worked, he reflected on the day he heard the confession by one of the weaker underlings, of what Mayor and Blackie's plot was for if "Desmodus-Guy", had gotten the upper hand.

About what he expected.

Kill Jade-Shade, unmask him, destroy the reputation of his secret identity, frame him for some horrible crimes, presumably ones they committed, then, The Mayor would have signed a law ordering all masked vigilantes to unmask, and, given that the last one standing would have been "Desmodus-Guy", it would have just been Blackie, who would have gleefully complied, and then been hailed as the hero of the city.

Essentially, getting the public to worship the murderer of their children, and to despise the one who tried to stop him.
"Good riddance".
JS thought.

This mask was....very close...but a just bit cock-eyed.
He squashed it.

"Enough for today, time to go on patrol".

He washed the clay off his hands, threw on the current mask, pulled on his gloves, clipped on the (now, tinted green) utility belt, and he was ready to go.

It was a slow night.
JS chased off a couple purse thieves.
It was easier, now that the legend was established.
He barely ever needed to whip out the collapsible baton.
"A shame", he figured.
It had cost a pretty penny.

Suddenly, he heard a woman scream.
"Ah, the music of the night", he mused.
He broke into a run in the direction of the sound.

Before he could get there, he heard sounds of struggle, and two male voices grunting, and then finally, the audible sounds of punches, and a dull thud, like a sack of potatoes.

When he got there, someone else had taken care of it.

He was 6 feet tall, 200 pounds of muscle, lantern jaw, black hair, almost blue, a spit-curl in the front.
He wore red acrobat tights, blue trunks, blue boots, a blue chest shield with a "P", encased in an upside down diamond, and from his shoulders, and down to his knees, hung a blue cape.
Same exact color as the boots, trunks, and shield.

The figure put his fists on his his hips, and said in a booming voice "s'okay, man, I got this one".

Then he raised his hands in the air, and flew away.


"Oh...nuh-UH!", JS said looking up, bewildered.

Next night, next patrol, similar incident.

Except, this time, along with an unconscious mugger, and a grateful victim, he left the symbol from the chest shield, and the name "Peerless-Person", written on an adjacent brick wall.
Burnt there, as if with a kind of laser.

"Hmph", JS grunted.

Three nights later, and the news was singing the praises of this "Peerless-Person".

"Me and the new guy are gonna have to have us a little talk", JS mumbled.

That night, a woman's screams rang out.
No one answered them.
They came from a MP3/recorder device left by JS.
After an hour, JS picked it up, and turned it off.
"Interesting", he grunted.

He tried this for two more nights in different locations.
Still nothing.
"VERY interesting", he snarked.

The news the next afternoon revealed more good deeds done by Peerless-Person.
"Very interesting indeed...", JS quipped.

The next morning, JS as Dusty Irwin collected some nice sized rocks while doing the rounds of the school.

When he got home, he took them out behind his apartment complex, and spray-painted them green with the leftover paint he had left the pig-o-grams with.

That night, he took them on patrol, along with a slingshot.

Peerless-Person floated to the ground, and handed the old lady her cat.

"Oh, bless you, young man!", she said lovingly.
She then took the cat inside with her.

Just then, Peerless-Person was struck with something.
"Sonuva...!!!", he shouted, clutching his forehead.
A red mark started to form.
It was going to bruise for sure.

PP looked down at the projectile, a green painted rock, the size of a chicken nugget, with a tiny folded note tied around with a rubber band.

He looked around for the assailant, and saw nobody.

He picked up the rock, and read the note.

"Some Jade from the Shade- JS".

He finally had PP's attention.

The next night, JS didn't have to look too hard, PP found him.

He stepped out from an alleyway, very close to where they'd first met.
"What's the deal, man?".

"You tell me", JS snarked.

"Look, I don't have time for this", PP said with dismissive annoyance.
With that, two bright green lasers lanced from his eyes.
The beams hit the wall by JS shoulder, and the chunk of wall exploded.

JS ducked, and rolled out of the way just in time.

JS stood up, and dusted himself off.
"If you think that scares me, you're sorely mistaken".

"Fair enough", PP said, and with that, he fired his lasers again.
This time, aimed at a manhole cover by JS's feet.
But this time, JS held up a small mirror, and caught the beams, and bent them towards a wall by PP.
No explosion.
A pair of harmless laser dots, and nothing more.
"Thought so", grunted JS with un-disguised satisfaction.

PP reacted with shock, and went to fly away.
Also nothing.

"Okay, let's end the farce".

PP looked up, to the roof of the convenience store he was standing beside, and saw police officers shutting down the crane that ran his wire lift.
His accomplices were no doubt cuffed.

The jig was up.

"So, 150 to 200 milliwatt laser-pointers activating pre-set explosive packs, clever", JS said calmly.

"250, actually", PP said with a smirk.

"Impressive. Illegal you know", JS quipped.

"Look who's talking", PP snarked back.

"Touche", JS muttered.
Then, he hit PP with the taser.
Then, softened up, he clobbered him with the collapsible baton.

He examined PP's face, and found what he was looking for.
Latex appliances, and blended makeup hid the fiber optics that guided the laser beams to an inch away from his eyes.

JS dug around under the back of his collar, and got the lasers, and ripped them free of the fibers.
"Thanks", he grunted, and stuffed them into a spare belt compartment.

He took off then.

"Another one bites the dust", he thought.

This one had been easy.
They were probably going to get tougher.
"Fine by me", JS thought.

Read More......

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter Five. (Jade Shade vs Desmodus-Guy)

Day 41

The bad guys were getting cute.

On TV, the Mayor publicly introduced the city's new superhero, Desmodus-Guy.

He was all decked out in black body armor, wore a face mask and cowl that covered everything but his eyes and mouth, and these pointy rodent ears looking things were sticking out the top of the head.
Coming from the shoulders down was a leathery wing-like cape.
On his chest was a symbol of a white moon silhouetting some sort of avian critter.
He also wore a chrome utility belt.

After making his lame pre-written for him speech, (in which, surprise, surprise, Jade Shade was declared enemy number one) The Mayor then demonstrated a spotlight with the same icon as Desmodus-Guy's chest shield.

The assembled press was eating it right up.

"Okay, it that way. I'm ready for it", JS whispered with a smirk.

Day 45

Desmodus-Guy was pretty damned easy to avoid.
All JS had to do, was be on the opposite end of town as the Desmodus signal.

JS figured The Mayor must be pretty goddamned frustrated.

Day 47

JS had left motion activated cameras where Desmodus-Guy did his patrols.

He was now studying the footage.

Just as he suspected, karate, ninja bullshit weapons, everything he eschewed literally on day one.

"Well, this should be easy to wrap up", he mumbled, almost bored.

Day 50

A warehouse was burnt down.
The two men inside were safe in the parking lot, tied up, and gagged.

A note was left pinned on one of them, written in green highlighter.

"Broke your toys, DG -JS".

Day 54

An exotically customized black sportscar was found stripped in a bad neighborhood.

A post-it was on the dashboard, green highlighter ink again.

"...and your car. -JS".

Day 55

The Desmodus signal was destroyed.

Melted, by homemade thermite.

Another note.

"Guess you'll just have to text. -JS".

Day 56

A repeat sex-offender was found beaten to a pulp, and tied up in front of the police station.

Another note.

"So, DG, how many actual criminals have you caught? -JS".

Day 60

Desmodus-Guy got right on the news, and called Jade-Shade out.
He named the time, and place.

"Desperate. Good", JS grumbled..

Day 65

In a ratty abandoned tenement building, Desmodus-Guy was waiting, ninja stars and teargas bombs at the ready.

Hidden cops with machine guns even readier.

8 o'clock, nothing.

9 o'clock, nothing.

10 o'clock, nothing.

11 o'clock, nothing.

To the second.

A remote activated  small explosive charge went off.
Just strong enough to break a rope.

An iron weight dropped, breaking a pre-cut support beam.

Crumbling cement, brick, and dust rained down on Desmodus-Guy, and the crooked cops.

Only 2 of the cops escaped.
They were immediately met with Federal Officers screaming "don't fucking mooooove!!! Don't fucking mooooovee!!!!".

The cops in the crumbled building were alive, but all of them would need body casts.

Desmodus-Guy was a little better off, but not by much.

"Hi", said Jade-Shade, emerging from the shadows.

"You sonovabitch!! Do you know who I am!!??! I've...", Desmodus-Guy hissed through a bloody mouth.

JS cut him off.
"Oh, judging by your voice, speech patterns, mannerisms, I'd say...Bert "Blackie", Aaron. Am I right?".

JS peeled off DG's mask.

JS remembered him in photographic stereophonic quality from the day of the "listen, you little SHIT..", speech.

Blackie stared in terrified and confused frustration, and then hissed "I've got powerful friends!!".

"All being handled", JS said, smiling, the mask betraying no emotion.

"What does that mean?!?!", Blackie asked, trying to hide his nervousness with mocking incredulity, and failing miserably.

"You'll see", JS clipped out, totally deadpan.

"So...1999, you killed a lot of kids, and teachers. You're a very, very, bad boy", JS said, still deadpan.

"...listen, hey, I had nothing to do Are you going to kill me?".

"Too easy", JS said, excitement creeping in, but managing to hide it.

He pulled out a metal pipe.

5 minutes later, and now Blackie needed a full body cast too.

JS held up the Desmous-Guy utility belt.
"Taking this", he said matter-of-factly.

It was sure going to be cooler than a fanny-pack.

Day 80

All the details were finally starting to assemble on the mainstream news.

On day 52, a thick folder full of evidence had arrived by airmail to FBI headquarters.
Much of it found in the warehouse.

It incriminated everybody up to The Mayor, and was airtight.

The Mayor had been removed from office, his network of crooked cops, who hadn't fled, were all rounded up, and all his dirty little nepotist cousins and nephews and nieces that had been put in strategic spots were likewise caught.

The deeper the FBI dug, the more dirt was found, and the more people that went down.

The entire network of scummery was torn down.
The graft, the drugs, even the prostitution might have slipped by, but...everyone hated a kid-killer.
Everyone connected to Blackie's doings was destroyed.
And, they all were connected somehow.

Blackie himself had a litany of secret crimes.
None of them surprised JS.
Especially, that he was the killer of his parents.
He knew.
All along he knew.

Now the world knew.
And their little conspiracy, Desmodus-Guy and all, was finished.

And, Dusty Irwin was exonerated, once and for all.

Dusty/Jade-Shade, was free. to start phase 2.

Day 100

Jade Shade was waiting in the office of the new Mayor.

"We've got to talk", he deadpanned.

After the talk, the cops were hands-off with him.
He needn't have bothered.
He was a hero.

Day 101

Three months, and some change.
Jade-Shade was making quick work.
But it had only begun.

He knew now, the world knew about him, and even with the law ostensibly on his side, there would be new villains, new ersatz-heroes gunning for him.

"Bring 'em on", he whispered.

Read More......

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Happy 13th anniversary, The Krazyfool Show!!

Wow, 13!

Yep, the one story I'm 100% with no reservations, or nagging doubts, proud of.
It's everything I wanted it to be.
It's still fucking great.

The Krazyfool Show.

Read More......

Happy The Dark Knight Returns Part 2 on DVD/Blu-Ray day!!

The release date has arrived!

Eh, ...I'm gonna wait for the 2-disc special edition.
Which is March.
Why so long?


Looking back to Volume 1.

Read More......

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Ovation, R.I.P.

Okay, they're not dead, but they may as well be.

Time Warner Cable stopped carrying them new years night, 2013.

Claimed not enough people were watching.
How the fuck do they know?

Nielson boxes?
Fuck the Nielson families.
What are there, like, six of these assholes?

Do they monitor our digital channel boxes?
We ain't all got 'em.
I ain't got one in my room, and I'm the one that watched Ovation. do they determine that? fucking what?
You're telling me people are using the R&B audio-only music channel more than Ovation?
Or, the Ska one?
Really?? Ska??
Bull. Fucking. Shit.

Fuck you, Time Warner.
I've never not had capricious and lying assholes running our cable in my whole rotten life.
Why is this industry in particular so rife with corruption?

Is this a thing for everyone?
Are they all just assholes?
I'm trapped in podunkville, surrounded by an iron curtain, I don't know.

Anyhoo, took me a couple weeks to register it wasn't coming back on, and then I investigated the matter, and was furious.
Then....I collected the materials for this retrospective, but...I had Jade Shade stuff to get started.

So, let's finally get to it.

Well, see here.

Sifting through the bouncing gay French clown crotches, here's the stuff from Ovation that inspired me that I wouldn't have gotten to see otherwise.

Dante's Inferno (2007)

See here.

Donnie Darko

See here.

Oh, and update, "S. Darko", the "sequel", is indeed an abortion.
A blackhole of uncomfortable boredom.
Avoid, even if you get it for free in the 2-pack.

Goya: Crazy Like A Genius

Narrated/hosted by Robert Hughes, who you may remember as "the art critic guy from 'Crumb'".

Made me a Goya fan in seconds.
Do a Google image search.
He was the original Crumb, MAD, and Cracked, but in the 19th century.

Hughes also did one where he sneered and spat on ugly fascist American commercial architecture.
I couldn't find the proper title for that one for the life of me, and I really scoured.
But, it was beautiful.

...y'know, I really think Ovation's death was political.
This channel hated everything the big-business mind loves to inflict on us peons.
The bland, the pedestrian, the utilitarian, the thuggish, the insipid, the dumb. you'll see with these other flicks!

The Art And Crimes Of Ron English

Another voice of the resistance.

See here, and here.

Tales of the Rat Fink

About Ed "Big Daddy", Roth.

Narrated by John Goodman.

Wow, you mean to tell me, early Hot Rod culture was about NON-conformity, and rebellion, and anti-authority??

I really didn't know that.
I didn't.
You couldn't tell that at all from the rich, old, fuddy-duddy, constipated, nasty, sellout boomer scumfuck assholes that suck all the fun and life out of everything they touch on Speed Channel, epitomized  by Jay-fucking-Leno.

Big Daddy would try to run these pigs over.

Hotrods were the first geek thing.
That blows my fucking mind.

And rewrites my fucking life.
Thank you, Ovation, thank you.

Ryan/Alter Egos

About this animator from Canada I never heard of, who...quite possibly might be the most freakishly talented human to ever live.

...aaaand, he pretty much drank himself to death a couple years after this.
He was on his last legs during it.

Typical story in this shitty world.

Except, his story isn't told as a conventional documentary, it's told in funky animation synced to his voice being interviewed.

Then, "Alter Egos", is the documentary of the making of the documentary.

I still don't know what the fuck to make of it.
Fascinating as Hell.

Spirited Away

Everything Miyazaki is liquid gold poured into your eye sockets, but, I own this thanks to Ovation, along with 11 others.
Although, they're on grainy compressed bootlegs, I really should upgrade.

I...think they had "Laputa", and "The Cat Returns", too, but I couldn't swear to it.

"Totoro",....pretty sure TCM had that one.
Yep, TCM had "Totoro", "Pom Poko", "My Neighbors The Yamadas", and "Only Yesterday".

Got those.

Tokyo Godfathers

I maybe should've tossed this in with "Twisted Christmas",, it's got too much heart, despite having an edge to it.

Beautiful film.

From the director of "Paranoia Agent", "Paprika", and "Millennium Goddess".

Oh, shit, yeah, Ovation played "Millennium Goddess", too.
That one's pretty good.
I don't love it though.
You might.
Check 'em all out.

What Remains: 
The Life And Work Of Sally Mann

Possibly tied for my favorite documentary with "Crumb".

About the photographer, Sally Mann.

Must see to appreciate.
And, have an unconventional mind.
Especially about the topic of death.
If you're any sort of fan of this blog, you'll probably be okay.

So, if I can get any of you to pick up some of these films, maybe it'll go a slight ways towards undoing the damage Time Warner is trying to do to the American soul.

Here's hoping....

And, goodbye, Ovation.
First Nicely's, now you.
I always feel like a widower.
Always mourning another lost love.

Read More......

Avengers phase...Three!

The first film of phase 2, Iron Man 3, isn't even out yet, and they're planning 3!


...Edgar Wright's Ant Man is being bumped ahead to 2015 for phase 3, and officially declared part of the Avengers-verse..


...they're finally gonna do Dr. Strange!


Read More......

Friday, January 25, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter Four. (The man behind the mask)


January 13th.

"Once upon a time, there were a bunch of guys shooting each other with big guns...".


January 14th.

Dusty Irwin was born.


Harry Hembock was published.

Meanwhile, five year old Dusty Irwin read "Magic Secrets", and started to see through the veil of bullshit.


Six year old Dusty was ga-ga over his favorite comic book superheroes.
Including, Harry Hembock.

Inspired by what he saw, Dusty beat up his first bully.
Rescuing Kimber Allison in the process.


Seven year old Dusty wanted to be a detective.
He read all the Almanac Smith mysteries in one summer in preparation.

That school year, bit by bit, he cleaned up all the playground bullies.
Either through direct confrontation, or by finding dirt.

Dusty observed, teachers not only didn't seem to give a shit about stopping bullies, but weirdly seemed to approve of bullies, and there was a blatant double standard going on in rule enforcement.
As Dusty quickly discovered in the detention room.


Eight year old Dusty Irwin held as still as he could, and watched TV while his best friend's big sister applied green Halloween makeup to his face, and black circles around his eyes.

It was summertime.

They were going to play a little prank.

Dusty had spread, with Kimber Allison's help, a legend, to put the spook into some of the kids.
Particularly the bullies.
Now, it was time to bring the legend to life.


Nine year old Dusty Irwin, kid detective, now had several adventures under his belt.
Pirate treasure, haunted houses, Dusty was your guy.

The other kids thought he was great.
Except the bullies.
And the father of one particular bully.
Who had overreacted to "The Green Monster", and fired into the woods.
Killing his hunting partner, co-worker, and secret gay lover.
Whom, he proceeded to bury out in the swamp.
Said father of particular bully, of course, had powerful friends.


Dusty was ten years old.

On that day, his bus had broken down, and needed some sort of unspecified fixing by the driver.
Strange suspicious fixing.

He arrived two hours late.

Eight year old Kimber Allison ran out of the Elisa Jack elementary school, covered in (someone else's) blood, tears and snot streaking her face.

"They're all dead!! They're aaaalll deeaaaadd!!", she kept screaming.

Dusty, without thinking, scowled, and ran right in.
He waded into an abattoir that would haunt him forever.

Splattered heads, blown off limbs, eyeballs, teeth, blood spattered walls, a full chamber of horrors.
They were, indeed, all dead.

He grit his teeth, and forced himself onward.
"Policemen see it all the time, policemen see it all the time, policemen see it all the time", he chanted in his head.

He crept carefully, quietly,  room by room, until he'd cased almost the whole building,...the killer never presented himself.

Finally, he found a machine gun, lying carelessly in the middle of the floor.
He touched it.

Officers flooded in, screaming "don't fucking mooooove!!! Don't fucking mooooovee!!!!".

"Aw, shit", he grumbled.
Only he heard himself.

He was slammed to the floor harder than he ever had been, and was handcuffed.
He offered no resistance.

As he was dragged off to a paddy-wagon, Kimber bawled "noooo!! Dusty didn't do it!! Dusty didn't do iiiit!!"
He never saw her again.


Dusty was sent to juvie until he was old enough to stand trial.
Some villainous scumbag took him aside at one point, and hissed some speech at him that started with "listen, you little SHIT..", Dusty tuned him out from there.
This was obviously some representative of whomever had staged all of this.
Dusty made a mental note of his features, and ticks.
Someday, he was going to get the bastard.
He made him the first entry on his list.
The vague gist of the nasty little speech was to the effect that nothing he would ever do would matter.
"We'll see about that...", Dusty thought with a smirk.
He got open-handed blasted across the face for the smirk.


Dusty's parents were dead.
Apparent carbon monoxide poisoning.
Dusty knew better.
He cried whenever it was safe to.
Which wasn't often.


Sixteen year old Dusty was tried as an adult, and sent to maximum security prison.
He added the phony bought-off judge to his list.

Over the next few years, he dodged many paid murder attempts.
The list kept growing.
And growing.
And growing.


One day, the judge who convicted him mysteriously died.
With him gone, his appeal magically went through.
He was released.
His trial was exposed as the travesty it was.
But, the damage was done.

Dusty got his GED, and became janitor at Elisa Jack.
Someone had to keep watch.

He also learned, the father of the particular bully, mayor now.
Already on the list.


August 5th.

Dusty saw a GQ article on real superheroes.
He printed it out, and kept it on him.
He didn't quite know why.


October 20th.
Dusty Irwin wandered through the grocery store, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

There was a display of Halloween masks, and one of them hypnotically grabbed his attention.


From Dusty Irwin's notes.

"I think the 21st century will be seen as the age of the superhero.
These twenty-something young men, they were ten when 9/11 happened.
Trauma in early childhood creates a hero.
This country had a mass one.
If super VILLAINS can be real, your Osama Bin Ladens, your Bernie Madoffs, then, as a simple act of the universe thermodynamically balancing itself, superHEROES must exist.
They just MUST.
This all of course comes along with the wave of films, and even...a superhero president. that is seen as such".

"I've got to get in on this".


January 14th

"If it doesn't matter...then I can do what I want anyway", Dusty grumbled.

He rolled over, and looked at the costume draped across the kitchen chair.

Black jeans, black workboots, black sweatshirt, black flak vest, black leather gloves, black fanny-pack full of toys, and...the mask.

"Yeah, fuck it, I'm doing it".

He nodded, rolled back over, and went back to sleep.

The Jade Shade he would be.

Read More......

What started me down the path of skepticism.

Before evolution, before the cracks started showing in religion, before even authority figures really started hassling me with their sophisticated bullshit.

It was this.

64 pages, practically a pamphlet.

Can't remember how old I was when I was gifted it, 5 or 6.

It's from 1967, so, it must have been from a lawn sale, or something.

Anyway, 3 pages into it, and all magic vanished in a puff of reality for me.
And, I was only really bummed for like, 3 seconds, then, it became interesting.

I've been picking apart how things tick ever since.

I've also consistently found, that most, if not all "mystery", in our daily lives, is just human concocted deception, and secrecy.
I've been trying to kick that down as much as possible, as well.

Read More......

Freddy-verse lives!


The Freddy franchise may be dead as a dodo, what with Robert Englund kicked out of it, and the remake franchise a flop.

BUT, other films continue the story forward.
Cuz, remember, the Hatchets, and Leslie Vernon are in continuity with each other, the latter references Freddy, and they officially Bacon back to them.

Ditto Chucky.

So, here's the upcoming sequels set in that world.

Hatchet III

Picks up immediately after Hatchet II, just like II picked up right after I.

Presumably, it's going to be packed full of horror guest stars like the other two, and, set photos have been released, showing that Derek Mears, who played Jason in the the reboot will be a detective.

Before The Mask: 
The Return Of Leslie Vernon

See here (or, above) for part 1.

The main title implies a prequel, but the subtitle implies a sequel. happens after, but they find footage that flashes back?

Anyway, Robert Englund is totally coming back for this one.

Freddy in the continued Freddyverse.
Jason as a better Jason than Jason with reboot-Jason as a guest star in the Hatchetverse.
Good enough for me.

Also, Adam Green said in the commentary for Hatchet II, that Scott Glosserman was going to return the favor, and reference Victor Crowley in the sequel.
So, that'll double-dip the continuity link.

Curse Of Chucky

Not a reboot after all (see last entry).

"Seed Of Chucky", ended up with Chucky...parting ways from his family, so, this is just him going solo. next Halloween, I should have seen/collected these.
Stay tuned.

Read More......

Monday, January 21, 2013

Also, happy (??) Obama 2, the sequel.

Part 1.

Report card.

Election day.

Read More......

Happy MLK day again!!

Well, that came back around quick.

Last year's.

Yeah, pretty much what I said there.

Read More......

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter Three. (The mask)


8 year old Dusty Irwin held as still as he could, and watched TV while his best friend's big sister applied green Halloween makeup to his face, and black circles around his eyes.

It was summertime.

They were going to play a little prank.


October 20th.
Dusty Irwin wandered through the grocery store, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

There was a display of Halloween masks, and one of them hypnotically grabbed his attention.

It was green, metallic, and...couldn't seem to decide if it was a ghost, an alien, or a skull, and had a black shroud on the back for covering up the wearer's hair.

It made him flash back to "The Green Monster".
How that night in '97, he had snuck around, and peeked in people's windows, and scared the crap out of them.

How one redneck idiot even came out looking for him with a shotgun.

How getting him home that night alive was like something out of a spy novel.

How, the next day, it ended up in the papers, not as kids fooling around, but as "The Green Monster". 

Dusty grinned like an idiot, and thought "man, people haven't gotten much brighter, wouldn't they just shit if I grabbed that sucker, and did a sequel?".

He thought better of it, and chickened out.
That mask kept popping back into his mind though, and wouldn't stop bugging him.


October 27th.

Dusty went back to the store.
The mask was gone.

Outwardly, he laughed it off.
Inwardly...he was crushed.


Dusty spent the better part of that year looking for the mask, and planning something.
Something bigger than a prank.

One thing would suggest another, and it all sort of fell into place.

"Green Monster", just hadn't been good enough, and he was sure it had been taken by a sports mascot, so, some  internet thesaurus searches later, and "Jade Shade", it was.


January 1st.

The preparations were almost set....still no mask.

He'd just have to make do.

This Halloween, he'd grabbed a generic "maniac", hockey mask, a black executioner's hood, some cheap green tinted mirrored sunglasses, and, with a little of this with a hacksaw, and a little of that with some green paint, some beefed up extra padding from a boxer's helmet, a little extra tinkering, and gluing and stitching all together, and....VOILA!


January 14th

"If it doesn't matter...then I can do what I want anyway", Dusty grumbled.

He rolled over, and looked at the costume draped across the kitchen chair.

Black jeans, black workboots, black sweatshirt, black flak vest, black leather gloves, black fanny-pack full of toys, and...the mask.

"Yeah, fuck it, I'm doing it".

He nodded, rolled back over, and went back to sleep.

The Jade Shade he would be.

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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter Two. (Taking it up a notch)

Day 25.

Punks, a pimp (twice), alleyway rapist, purse thief, punks, purse thief, another pimp, taggers, purse thief.

It was slowly going better.
Word was getting around.

And yet...Dusty still didn't feel like The Jade Shade yet.
He knew he could be doing more.

But what?
Time to regroup, and think, he figured.

Day 30, it came to him.

Of course.
It was right under his nose.
And, he didn't miss it for lack of imagination.
He had just had to build up the nerve.
The street trash were just practice.
Just buildup.

Day 35

Sol's Pizzeria, an obvious mob front no one talked about.

Sol found his front windows smashed in, a whole dead pig from a nearby butcher shop (also a mob front) was left in the middle of the floor.

Written on it in green spray-paint, was the simple message "I'll be watching -JS".

The Mayor's mansion.

An almost identical pig, front lawn, green spray-paint, shorter message "you too -JS".

It took about 3 days for golfing buddies to compare notes, trace recent news stories, and local legends, and put the puzzle together.

The concerned parties were.... noticeably upset.

Day 40

The Jade Shade watched it all start to unfold on the local news, and smiled behind his mask.

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Happy 71st birthday, Muhammad Ali!

See here.

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Jade Shade art.

From Paladin.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Evolution of Jade Shade mask, Mark 1.

From Hyla Tracy II.


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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter One. (Jaded, and shaded)

From Dusty Irwin's notes.

No fuckin' karate.
Takes too long to learn, you get all beat to shit using it, and if someone really big comes along, you get your ass kicked anyway.
There's no goddamned legend of someone who cleaned the streets with fuckin' karate.
Never happened.
Dirty hands as last resort.
Weapons. Stick to weapons.


No ninja bullshit.
No stars, no darts, no nunchucks.
Same problem as karate.
I don't want something I need classes for, it should be pick up and use it.
Mace, taser, billy club, ball bearings, brass knucks, shit like that.
Actually, look for inspiration from super villains.
They're broke-ass, and have to homemake their stuff.



Power tools?
Eh...can't hurt to have in the trunk.

A jaws of life would be good.
Where do you get those?
Look into.

Day 8.

Still nothing.

Dusty had been doing a shift from midnight to four.

Maybe he needed to find a worse part of town.

Just then.....

Brad and Chad were out having fun.

Y'know, drinking, shooting the shit, tagging, stealing shopping carts.
Good times.

Suddenly, this guy all in black, with a hockey mask cut up to look like a skull, and with green mirrored sunglasses underneath walks up, and maces Chad, knocking him off his cart.


Brad totally would've kicked his ass, but the dude pulled out, like, this bazooka, and, Brad figured he'd better split.

Fuck him, man.
You don't know.

Dusty looked at the writhing teenager, and told him "tell your friends".

When masked, he figured he'd better keep it short and sweet.
No Shakespeare shit.
No rants.

He'd written "Jade Shade", in spraypaint on the punk's back.
A pity the paint wasn't green.
Black and red, it was always black and red these kids stole.
Sometimes blue.
He went with black.

Not a glamorous beginning, but it would have to do.
Dusty tried not to be depressed.

Could have been worse, the kid who ran could have tried some karate shit.

Despite later accounts, he did not have a bazooka.

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Monday, January 14, 2013

So, here we go....

...I've started my "blog-novel", Quantum Dissolve.

I've also got the Facebook page, and tag up for it.

2013 is gonna be all about The Jade Shade.

Waited 'til today, so Harry and Jade-Shade would have back-to-back birthdays. ;-)

Once I have enough of this thing to qualify as "a beast", I'll CreateSpace it.

It's gonna be a journey, hope ya dig it.

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Like The Jade Shade on Facebook!

...y'know, if ya want to....


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Quantum Dissolve, Prelude.

Eight year old Kimber Allison ran out of the Elisa Jack elementary school, covered in (someone else's) blood, tears and snot streaking her face.

"They're all dead!! They're aaaalll deeaaaadd!!", she kept screaming.

Dusty awoke.

"Fuckin memories...fuckin life", he mumbled.

Dustin "Dusty", Irwin lay on his fold-away bed in his rat hole apartment staring up at the ceiling.

It was all but decided at this point.

Maybe the world was too fucked up to fix.
Maybe nothing we do matters.
Maybe ideals are pathetic past a certain age.
Maybe what "you're supposed to do", is sell out, and have your dumb safe little life.

Dusty shook his head for the fiftieth time this afternoon, and whispered "I just can't do it", for the thirtieth.

"If it doesn't matter...then I can do what I want anyway", Dusty grumbled.

He rolled over, and looked at the costume draped across the kitchen chair.

Black jeans, black workboots, black sweatshirt, black flak vest, black leather gloves, black fanny-pack full of toys, and...the mask.

"Yeah, fuck it, I'm doing it".

He nodded, rolled back over, and went back to sleep.

The Jade Shade he would be.

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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Coming tomorrow.

A new chapter.

Stay tuned.


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Happy 24th birthday, Harry Hembock!!

Almost a quarter century.
How the time flies!

Well, this was the big year!

Had that whole summer of Hembock thing.

One for the history books.

Yeah, remember on the 21st, when I said...

And thanks, Harry, for 21 years, 9 books, 2 websites, several friends, glue for my sanity, and a million laughs.

Well, there they are!
Well, boiled down from the 7 boiled down from the 9....
And you can order 'em here, or here.
Or, now you can check out Harry on Facebook here.

Also, this happened.

And, remember on the 22nd, when I said....

Been a long road, buddy.
Let's see what milestones and misadventures the 10's bring.

Well, again, there's some damned milestones!

And, remember the 23rd, where I just plain got lazy?

Well, no more of that, buddy.

Wow, 24, what was I doing at that age?
*Does the math*
Massaging my Phantom Menace butthurt.....
Yeah, yours was better, my friend.

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Friday, January 11, 2013

The big holidays compilation!

Did it as a page, instead of a post.
Well....I explain it there.


It's also in  archives just before En-Mike-lopedia.

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Remaining tweaking.

Added "Epilogue", to Archives.

Changed this... this.

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These posts are essentially the end of the old blog, let's bundle 'em up, and make it official.

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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Happy 30th anniversary, Fraggle Rock!

Back in '83, my folks finally caved in, and got us HBO so I could watch this.

One of my cats is named after the yellow guy.
The legacy lives.

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Post-holiday re-organizing.

Added "En-Mike-lopedia: Volume 2", to archives.

Rearranged this...

...into this.

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En-Mike-lopedia: Volume 2

And, here's all of it...for 2012! :D

Prelude stuff.

En-Mike-Lopedia Digest.

The Best Of: Krazy For Decades.

The Very Best Of En-Mike-Lopedia! (Compilation)

Grand Unification Theory (The Collection)
  • Part 0 (Quantum resolution is bullshit)
  • Part 0.5 (Mindmelds Are Bullshit)
  • Part 1 (Subspace, and hyperspace)
  • Part 1.5 (Subspace, and hypertime)
  • Part 2 (Transporters, and transwarp)
  • Part 2.5 (Self-beaming transporters)
  • Part 3 (A wormhole is a wormhole)
  • Part 4 (Timelines, and universes)
  • Part 5 (Gods, wizards, wands, spellbooks, and Lovecraft)
  • Part 5.5 (Metahuman powers)
  • Part 6 (Stitching it all together)
  • Part 7 (The History Of Fiction-Timeline)
  • Part 8 (The History Of Fiction-Story)
  • Part 9 (Gamesharks, and Ambush Bugs)
  • Part 9.5 (Okay, let's really wrap up this whole continuity/canon thing)
  • Part 10 (Recap)

The Boob Tube.
  1. Some shows I hate that everyone else likes.
  2. Some MORE shows I hate that everyone else likes.
  3. Even more shows I hate that everyone else likes. (apathy edition)
  4. Shows I hate that everyone hates....but everyone seems to watch anyway.
  5. Some shows I hated that everyone else liked (past tense!).
  6. Shows from the past, apathy edition.
  7. But, I can change, I can change!!
  1. Son Of Boob Tube.
  2. Revenge Of Son Of Boob Tube.

Main stuff

Happy Halloween!!!! Again!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Again!!

Merry X-Mas!! Again!!

Happy New Year!!! Again!!!

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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

New Year's compilation.

It would have been the big "Happy New Year!", post if my internet had been working January first.

And, it woulda looked like this....

Happy New Year!!! Again!!!

Now, let's collect the pre-New Year's (*whispers* play along)...stuff...

There, that essentially reconstitutes the 6 lost days.

Next up, En-Mike-lopedia Volume 2!
(And then, we'll be back on schedule)

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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Happy 66th Birthday, David Bowie!

"The guy from Labyrinth just turned into an eagle!!".

Well...let's look back on his films that I've reviewed....


The Man Who Fell To Earth.

The Hunger (and part 2).

Songs....damn, so many to choose from....

...a bit of a fan I am...yes. :P

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2012 in review.

Didn't get to do this on actual New Year's, so we're fucking doing it, dammit!

So, it started last New Years, did it live up to the hype?


The good.

The bad.

The "ehhh...weell.."

Yeah, I'd say all that was pretty interesting.

Up next for 2013 from Shmegalamonga?

Big things. :-)

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Monday, January 7, 2013

Movies that made me high.

From here...

I went by myself to see this at the theater, and I was so jazzed by it, I was practically high, and the drive home felt like riding a fucking cloud.

Which is why I never tangled with drugs, if they do something to you stronger than the endorphin tsunami I was going through, it would very probably fucking kill me.
Nertz to that.

Anyhoo, here's every flick that was like that....

Clash Of The Titans (1981)

From here.

Heavy Metal (1981)

See here.

Course, I saw it way after it came out, and just on TV, but still....

Return Of The Jedi (1983)

See here.

The first one, I took for granted, and Empire had that mysterious down cliffhanger, so....I was waiting for this one.
It's like my poor little 8 year old brain was holding a 3 year long pee.

Transformers The Movie (1986)

See here.

Fuck, yeah.

Batman (1989)

See here.

The others didn't have that feeling.
Not 'til the Nolans.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

See here.

Yeah,...I really think this was the best movie ever made by human beings up until this point in history.'s nitpick-able.
But in '91?
It owned my soul.

Independence Day (1996)

What can I say?
It was immersive, and jaw dropping in the theater, and it was when all these big explodey CG bells and whistles were brand new.
Now, you see it on TV, and it's like "pfft,...90's...".

This was the first and last "ride movie", that sucked me in.

The Two Towers/
Return of the King (2002-2003)

See here.

Yeah, these ones had the wars.

Gee, that was really a bigass gap for not receiving my endorphin wonder the 90's were hellish for me.

Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

See here.

The Punisher (2004)

See here, and here.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

See here.

I didn't even know I was craving a proper wrap-up to this series so much until I saw the thing.
Then, well, I was jazzed.
I think I was carrying a lotta stuff into the theater with me that got exorcised.

Iron Man (2008)

See here.

Saw it twice, because I missed the Nick Fury thing the first time....

It was still just as good.

The Dark Knight (2008)

See here.


Missed the first one in the theater.

...and then, I missed all the other Avengers-lead-up flicks in the theater, cuz of the year of hell....

The Avengers (2012)

See here.

This one damned near killed me.
If you showed this to my 1991 self, his head would've exploded.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

See here., being able to look at that, apparently, I need an epoch making film every 2 years to keep my depression on an even keel.

Failing that, marriage to an insomniac nymphomaniac.

Either way, someone has to keep it coming, for now, it's Hollywood.

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