Friday, April 30, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #26.

Okay, boys and girls, now for our third "I", word.

Insolence, insubordination, and....



Oh yeah, non-chalance.

Play it cooool, daddy-o.

Otherwise, you ain't gonna make it through this life absent a straight jacket.

In the midst of any heated situation, you must ask yourself "how can I not care about this?".

Screaming idiots in the next room?
Turn up the TV.
If that fails, pop in the earbuds, and fire up the I-Pod.

Or, if all else fails, try "could you two kindly shut the fuck up? I waited all week for this program. Ahhh, thanks, there we go".

Wait until you're made of enough cells before trying that one on.

Some pituitary case barking in your face?

Ask yourself "does this guy have a valid complaint? Does the validity of said complaint increase with the volume of his fusillade?".

99.999999999999999% of the time, the answer to the second one is usually "no".

And if the answer to the second one is "no", you can usually assume the first one shrinks down to an equal measure into the decimal zone.

People who buy into the converse of this argument usually buy into the whole "might makes right", bullshit, and look where that's gotten us as a species.

100,000 years of almost fucking nothing, until some snarky wise-ass came up with "sky cake".

The odds are in your favor, I think.

Oh, and notice I just assumed "guy", and "his"?
I bet you didn't.
We've grown accustomed to the worst aggressive bullshit coming from fucking men.
You never hear the feminists cry "sexism", on that shit, do ya?
Yhep, we don't get PC about truisms.

Anyway, having decided not to care about dorko, and his worthless tantrum, you now suddenly have several options available to you.

1. Smirk.
2. Cross arms.
3. Laugh.
4. Shake head.
5. Walk away.
6. Flip the bird.
7. All of the above.

If you think such behavior might summon an ass-kicking, keep the phrase "touch me, and I'll sue", on hand.
Or throw an "asshole", at the end as needed.

Or, if you're feeling particularly insolent, and in the mood for "All In The Family", quotes, try "I'll summon an army of bloodthirtsy Jews who'll pick your bones!".

That usually jolts their tiny brains.

(Hey, think that one's a bit un-PC, consider the mind of who you're dealing with)

Have a cellphone ready as a prop for that one, that helps.
Even an old dead one.

But, 9 times out of 10, anything from the 7 options works by itself.

Oh, you might get a lot of snake-hissy whispering behind your back where the only words you can make out are "jerk", "asshole", and "attitude", but....fuck it.

Yeah, they're probably plotting to put something unpleasant in your food, but know what?
Get out of there.
Decent evil plots usually take 3 days to set up properly.
Leaving right then and there, they never see that coming.
They're so used to being trapped and penned in in their own awful life, it never occurs to them.

All of which leads to the second question one must ask oneself "if there weren't _____ involved, would I care?".

Where "_____", can be...

A. Money.
B. Employment.
C. Pussy.
D. Drugs.
E. Gizmos.
F. Appliances.
G. Heirlooms.
H. Food.
J. Children.
K. Someone I genuinely give a shit about.

If the answer to the complete question is "no", then you have to objectively evaluate the worth of the object of the question with the next question.

"Is the possible loss of _____ worth the cost of the corrective pills for the chronic stress ailments the other person in this equation would have me endure?".

If you find the answer again, is "no", go back to that first list of 7 options.

Third question "is this actually my problem?".

This may seem like an easy one, but you'll be amazed how well people have gotten at making you think their stupid shit is your problem.

Visualize it like a diagram of the blast radius of a nuclear bomb.

Consider the center "my problem", the second circle "the problem of someone I know", the third circle "the problem of someone who knows someone I know", the fourth circle "the problem of someone who knows someone who knows someone I know", and the safe zone outside the circles as "the problems of complete fucking strangers".

Now, if you're at the center, that's non-negotiable.

But, if it's not fully in the safe zone, then the next questions come into play.

"Do I actually LIKE this person?".


"If I fail to do anything, will it become my problem?".

If the answer is "no", to both, fuck it.

And if the problem is in the 3rd and 4th circles, you can usually assume "no", to both, unless you actually like the person.
(But..if you really did, wouldn't they be shifted into the 2nd circle?)

Unless the problem is some deep shit, in which case you have to ask "do I like this person THAT much?".

Friends of your significant other usually sail right through a big fat "no", on all of those.

And if you sail through with "no", to those (should take milliseconds) and you're not even expected to do anything, the last question to ask, is "why am I even listening to this shit?"

If the answer is the person in question burdening you with this, is the keeper of the genitals you satisfy yourself with, you're kind of stuck.

But, if not, go back to the options I gave on people fighting in the next room.

TV volume, I-pod, "please shut the fuck up".

Now, as for "the problems of complete fucking strangers", you'd think you wouldn't be popping Rolaids over that, but our society has gotten insideous about making you care about that bullshit too.

Here's a hint, people on TV are complete fucking strangers.
Even people on "reality TV".
If you find yourself grumbling aloud about the problems of TV people, you've stumbled on to a bad show, turn it off.
If someone burdens you with these storylines second hand, go through the whole "why am I listening to this shit?", cycle.

Now, whether it's the full-blown pituitary moron shrieking at you, or just plain general irritant bullshit coming your way from other people, ask yourself "did I actually do anything wrong?".

Go through a general list of the sins I've complained about on this blog.
Are you on the hook for any of that?
Then fuck it.

People try to make you feel bad about that they just plain don't like your face.
Tough shit.

I refer you back to my little self-esteem motto.
"Who gives a FUCK what you think!?!?".
You'll be AMAZED how often it applies to the situation you're in.
Start using it like pepper on food.

Also, most important, DON'T CARRY STRESS.

I can't preach too hard, I fall off the wagon with this all the fucking time.

Ask yourself "is this stressing actually helping to solve the problem?".

Hint, it never is, it actually worsens your ability to do that.

And if it's a problem that only time can reveal how it'll turn out, well, you're helpless helpless.
Stressing won't give you your control back, no matter what your hindbrain and/or testicles try to tell you.
Imagine you're falling out of a plane without a chute.
Will screaming help?
Why do it?
Imagine putting your hands behind your head, closing your eyes, and tune out the ground, and just feel the wind.
Relax, like you're going to land in pillows.
Often times, you actually do.
If you land on spikes, stress out about it when you actually do.

So, anyway, use these tips, and you won't believe how much weight drops off your shoulders, and how much bullshit and assholes are just gone.

And with all the bullshit gone, there's the few things you can't avoid, work, chores, errands, helping friends/relatives, getting dragged to functions, and not all of that is bad.
Some of it can be interesting/pleasant.

But, when all of that is done, my suggestion is to do. Absolutely. Nothing.

"I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I ever dreamed it could be".

All the really great things worth living for either cost absolutely nothing, or are within range of a livable wage, and are easy to do.

Why people need "more, more, more!!!", to the point they need to build a little empire, and control people, or heck, even get people killed, well..they don't need to, they're sick.

And that's what Podsville really is.

We let our sick run free.

Don't be one of them, and don't catch the bug.
Consider this post your haz-mat suit.

Read More......

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #25.

The talk I wish someone had given me in my teens.

Okay, kid, don't be an idiot.

Go to college, take classes in journalism, use that to wheedle into being a film critic, like you contemplated.

C'mon, it's like all those MAD magazines you read as a kid, your brain totally ticks on that wavelength, it's a natural.

And if you end up not wanting to do that forever, you'll have the journalism to fall back on, plus, can use it to crowbar into any other writing thing you want to do.

Get a book or two under your belt, you can use that to get into comics, it's a swiss army knife into anything you want to do.

See? An actionable plan.

See, the assholes at school ain't telling you this, cuz they don't know.
They want drones.
And speaking of that, another reason to go for film critic.
Do it, or else, you'll end up putting up with the evil stupid bullshit that I'm having to tell your 20-something self about.

And if you don't think you can be a journalist, because you're not one of the jerks on the school paper, and the teachers make of the jerks who are on the school paper...
..fuck 'em, they're going nowhere.

Same reason not to stress ANY of the people hassling you here.
They're all bald drunks now.
Stop sweating it.

But DO sweat school.
Get your ass in gear, and get some good grades.

Otherwise, you'll be writing dirty angry blogs, and still working up the nerve for standup comedy in your 30's.

And also, the horrible jobs.

Read that if you ever need help focusing.

Focus, lad, focus.

Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #24.

The talk I wish someone had given me in my 20's.

Sort of an expansion on the themes already current in this rant.

Little more detail though, some more shit that would've saved me a lot of stress and misery, and that I hope can help some other young me out there.

First, read this rant.

Okay, kid, remember the bit about "team players"?

You hear that shit, get the fuck out of there.

Just head for the fucking door.

I'm serious.
As a fucking heart attack.

It only goes downhill from there, never gets better, and the worse can't be "ridden out", it doesn't let up, shit like that never fucking does.
Get the fuck out, or it will be your death.

If there's a guy who someone tells you "this guy is a bit of a prick/asshole, best to avoid him", get the fuck out of there.
Someone so bad, it makes someone speak up, they're a bully.
A company that lets bullies in their lower-middle management, they suck.
Oh, and no, you CAN'T "avoid him".
You never can with these people. Never.
Likewise "keeping your head down, and playing along", won't work either.
It never fucking does.
Never fucking will.
Apply this particular rule to everywhere, and everything.
People take advantage, and the shit just gets worse, and worse.
Just get the fuck out.
Day one, walk out.
And don't let anyone give you this "stand your ground, or you're a pussy", horseshit.
It ain't worth minimum wage.
Do you know karate?
Got the cabbage set aside to learn karate?
Course not, you're working these shitty jobs.
You wanna personally do the detective work of how many buddies this guy has?
Let's say karate powers fell from the sky into your lap, and you kicked the snot out of every asshole in the place.
You wanna go to jail?
To court?
Fuck that.
Get the fuck out.
You're in a hellhole.
It will be your death.

Don't stay anywhere where there's a cheer, or a song, or exercises, or oaths, or slogans, and certainly not prayers.
Get the fuck out of there.
They want to break your spirit, and control your mind.
Fuck them.

Likewise, don't stay very long in a place that has it's own "lingo".
If a place can't speak plain fucking English they're hiding something, and it's UUUUGLY.

"Vente latte", "grande latte", insidious boardroom shit like "curtailing losses in the human resources department", these people are liars, and practiced lying leads to all the other crimes.
Don't even go in for "oh, we call our customers "guests"".
Oh, it's one little word, what could be the harm?
Fuck 'em.
Walk out.

Fuck any place that has training videos that don't just tell you how to perform your mechanical duties, but have a "philosophy", to them.
They sell fucking widgets, they shouldn't need a fucking philosophy.
This is another cult.
Don't even let the movie finish.

And don't let any motherfucker give you any bullshit about "what the company expects".
Not even in a barking tone, not even a relative.

This is what you "owe", these cock-knockers.
I'll lay it out for you nice and clear, and anyone tells you otherwise, they can go fuck themselves.

You show up, you do their drone work for them, that they're too fat and lazy to do, because they're fucking management, you're not a surly prick to the customers, and friday, you get a check.

Transaction fucking done.
The end.

Their shelves get filled, their pallets get cleared, their trucks get emptied, their cash registers beep, and their fucking business runs.

That's what they're in business for.

To make fucking money.

If they want to make a totalitarian mind-control cult, let 'em build a fortress down in fucking Texas, and fill it up with drugs and vagina like any decent fucking wackaloon.

You don't owe anyone your mind, your will, your dignity, or anything else.
Not no one.
And you certainly don't owe anyone your health.
You think they might be poisoning you, GET THE FUCK OUT.

They don't deserve to brain wash or murder you for minimum fucking wage, or for ANY fucking wage.

They pull out the "team building", shit, especially the cheers, you're in a fucking cult, get the fuck out.

You don't see no convenience store do this shit do ya?
Ya don't see no farmer's market do this shit, do ya?
No, you don't.
It's got nothing to do with real business.
Fuck 'em.

If you have a bunch of bigoted douchebag asshole supervisors, or gun nuts bringing their fucking Soldier Of Fortunes to work, and the only way you can seem to get along with them so they don't turn into bullies is to laugh at their shit, and "go with the flow", and "play along", and you feel it start to change your personality...


These people are Nazis.

Same for dicks who brag about their fucking JAIL stories.
Keep an eye on that shit-burger, and get the fuck out.
Company hires that rif-raff, you're in a toilet.
You. Are in. A fucking. TOILET.

Oh, and for all of these, don't leave notice, don't go through their bullshit rat-traps, just don't come back.
People do it all the fucking time.
And they're fucking happy.

Speaking of that, here's a spinoff of that.

If they start off, explaining how hard the work is, and the shift is three days on, three days off, rotating crews, and then gradually, they creep in an extra day, then they "merge the crews", and it becomes all week, and then they act like the work isn't hard, and you're "slacking off", for not being able to practically stock half the fucking store, and do the whole supply room, GET THE FUCK OUT.

It will be your death.

They're literally trying to KILL you.

It IS as hard as they first said, they're fucking with you, they're screwing with you, they're screwing you, get the fuck out.

Head held high, don't let anyone give you shit.

And don't let these fucking "heroes", who think they can stick it out, and look down at you, because you're not wearing a back brace, and an arm sling, and still working, get to you.
Fuck their guilt trips.
They made their choices, they're in zombieland, there's no saving them, too bad, get the fuck out.

Bringing it back to people who just don't come back, pay attention to that, pay attention to how hard a time they have keeping people.
If you see a new person every night who's gone the next day, something is wrong.
Something is very wrong.
Follow those people.
Follow them the fuck out.

If they ask you to do weird shit, like say, dispose of shit that ain't trash, don't do it.
Don't do anything weird.
Get the fuck out.
Right there.
Just get your shit, and leave.

Anything that even creeps up to that, any weird little chores outside your regular duties, that smells of some "loyalty test", tell them to fuck themselves, and leave.

They'll creep it up on you too, they're slimy, a little of this, a little of that, and then suddenly "okay, time to hose out the toilets".
"Wait, what!!?".
And your job is paper goods, y'know?
Nope, fuck 'em.

Or, they sneak in extra shit, and you're in "wait what?!!?", mode, and they act all put out, like you were always supposed to do it, like "oh, now it's time to unload the candy-man's stuff", like you've always been doing it, but you have amnesia.
And maybe you'll be tired, and your brain ain't firing right, and it also confuses you that the fucking candy-man plays along with it.
Y'know, fists on hips, grit teeth, crinkled nose, the whole performance.
Fuck him.
Some outside guy you don't know, don't work for, didn't sign a contract with, made some secret fucking deal under the table?
Fuck 'em.
This is always exactly the kind of shit they try to make you do off the clock too.
Fuck them.
Wal-Mart got a class action suit against them for this shit.
It's fucking illegal.

Don't let no manager try to be your fucking buddy either, that's how they creep it up on you, no manager is your pal, you're there for a check, they're there for a check, it's a cynical fucking relationship, don't let them ply you with this "____ family", shit.
They wanna talk to you about DVDs, next thing you know, you're sponge-bathing their granny.
Nuh uh.

Watch your fucking ass, these people are pros.

Bullshit fucking GEYSERS off of them.

Now, say, something like in the "insolence rant", happens, where the manager slags you and/or your crew off.

Don't leave.
Stick around.
I mean, so long as none of the other evil shit above is happening.

Stick around, draw a check, and do a halfass job.
Fuck 'em, they're going to fire you anyway, they've as much announced it.
They hate you so bad, they can fire you on the spot, but no, they still want more of that "sucky", work out of you.
Show 'em just how much you can suck.
Or, leave, and leave him in the lurch to stock his own fucking shelves.
Works best if you can get everyone else to walk out too.
Can you imagine that?
Fat management prick having to unload trucks all alone?
Fuck that, he'd close the fucking place.
Then, upper-management can have his ass.
Fuck these people, these are cut-throat bloodsucking fuckers.

Oh, and don't do stupid shit like pee in their coffee or shit like that.
Boy, that shit's stupid.
I can't fathom the mind that thinks that's clever.
First, there's the disproportionate risk involved for so little a payoff.
Second, THAT'S WORK!
In their own way, they're making you do more work.
Snap out of it, stupid.

If some other dummy is doing that shit, and lets you in on it, THEN get the fuck out of there.
You don't need to be tied up in that.

Now, is all this quitter talk deadly in this awful economy?
Well...why should a bad economy trap you in a place that utterly annihilates your health and sanity?
All the politicians have to do, is keep ruining the economy for their evil bastard business pals.
Fuck 'em.
That shit encourages 'em.
Don't give 'em any encouragement, they've got to fucking learn.

Oh, and once you've figured out you're in a shithole you know you're going to leave, insolence, always.

It's your last day anyway.

Oh, another thing, don't ever take this shit out on customers.
I'm not into that.
It's like terrorist bombing, you don't know who you're "getting".
Don't let your mind twist towards that evil "there are no innocent victims", bullshit, that's how the fucking corporate office thinks.
Y'know, the guys who brainwashed the middle managers.
Don't become what you hate, for then, you are truly lost.

Oh, and be insubordinate.
Again, it's selling fucking widgets.
It ain't the fucking army.
Treat the boss like your next door neighbor.
He wants to be your fucking buddy, test him on it.
He wants you to be a "team"?
A team is made of equals, test him on it.
He wants you to be a "family", test him on it.

I betcha, I betcha he wants to be saluted, and called "sir".
Wake him from his hallucination.
If you ain't in the army, then he's playing army, and playing army is for little boys.
Don't call a little boy a title.
Calling little boys titles make them think they can have ice cream for supper.
They get enough of that treatment at the fucking horrible golf courses, and racist asshole cigar fellating lodges they go to.

Don't be a dick about it, just don't bow and scrape.
Act like you're a neighbor asking for sugar, or casually witnessing cops across the street.
If you even have to talk to the fucker at all.
Try not to.
If "insubordinate", pops up on a performance review, quit.
If you want to be driven by a sarge, you'd be in the fucking army.
Civilian life doesn't need any fucking army shit.
They want guys gratified by that life, let 'em hire all ex-army guys.

A real ex-army guy would probably snap their fat little neck anyway.
They'd be askeered to say "insubordinate", to a guy like that.

Pay attention to that too.
Pay attention to who they mess with, and who they don't.
I betcha ya see a pattern, I betcha.

Don't take people's shit.
And there will be shit.
People are full of it.
Self hating people out to suck on your self-esteem.
Don't let 'em.
These people died a LONG time ago.
They want your brains.
Guard your head, and watch your ass.
Cuz no one else will.

Papa Bear O'Reilly, and Doctor Phil won't tell you this shit.
They'll tell you outright to conform.
They'll tell you to watch "successful people", and copy them.

Hey, you wanna be a copy-person, why are you here?

Go to some fucking shitty expensive brainwashing seminar.

This is Shmegalamonga, motherfuckers.

Too late to complain now.

Okay, so that's how to deal with shitty jobs.

Don't want shitty jobs?
Stay in school, kids.
It's not that the college jobs are fucking great, it's the non-college ones are full of alligators, and snakes.

And if you do do school, stay away from anything in the Dr. Phil zone.
If you're having to bump elbows with fucks like that, you took a wrong path.

And even for you shielded yuppie-kids, a lot of what I said may still apply.
There are assholes in all walks of life that need avoiding.

Hope this has helped.
It's sure been a charm to write.

(Continue on to the prequel)
Read More......

Song of the week #11.

Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #23.

I heard what you were saying! You know nothing of my work! How you got to write a book on anything is totally amazing!

Boy, if life were only like this! Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #22.

Whelp, let's skim the news again, see if it got any better...

Murder, mayhem, chaos, horror, despair, plague, pollution, prick-waving, ignorance, incompetence, bullshit, and yes, drivel.

Whelp, guess not...


No one's gonna answer my challenges.

Liars, crooks, and thugs continue their raucous jubilation undisturbed.

And no one in charge deserves to be.

Happy Thursday, everyone! Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #21.

Somewhere, someone tells the one they love "I hate you!".

Somewhere, someone screams, shouts, and terrifies, in the name of "some goddamned peace and quiet".

Somewhere, someone drinks to forget unpleasant experiences brought on by alcohol consumption.

Somewhere, someone shoots up to take away the pain of being alienated by their addiction.

Somewhere, someone wire-taps and spies in the name of "liberty".

Somewhere, someone prays to God to finally return, and end all the gloom and horror in the world let loose by religion.

Somewhere, someone stuffs their face full of starch, sugar, and grease, then looks up at a sky polluted by methane from cow-shit lagoons, then across the street at a farm, abandoned because it was driven under by a subsidized corporation that churns out commodity crops, and then across the parking lot at the diabetes clinic that just opened up, then licks the burger wrapper, crumples and tosses it, and says "such a shame, but what can ya do?". Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #20

The only discernible difference I can really see between the parasite, and the predator, is the respective speed in which they devour their meals.

Yet, many American conservatives seem obsessed with vilifying the former, and idolizing the latter, and applying them as archetypes to humanity, and building their little "worldview", around that.

Eating speed? Really?

The law of the pie eating contest?

In the end, it comes down to this?

No....actually, that's about right for America.... Read More......

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #19.

I'd like to sincerely apologize to the RCC for repeatedly referring to stories involving them as the-myth-cult-kidfucker story.

I mean, true, it's a myth-cult, and true, they have more than their fair share of kidfuckers.

But apparently, they have a good share of guys that rape WOMEN too.


So, from now on, it'll be referred to as the more politically sensitive myth-cult-rapist story. Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #18.

Let's skim the news...

Greed, pollution, torture, death, and drivel.


Still no answer to my challenges.

Liars, crooks, and thugs continue to run the planet.

And no one in charge deserves to be.
Read More......

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Added Postcards from Podsville #17, Song of the day, Snarky economic comment of the day, My Wonderful Gadgets 2, My Wonderful Gadgets 3, My Wonderful Gadgets 4- Utility Belt!, Utility Belt 5, Captain Beeble On Dingoo!!, and On Weirdness to Biography in (rough) chronology.
(A.K.A "some times of my life...") Read More......


Added "homeopathic blasphemy", to "greatest hits". Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #17.


I heard that one recently in this letter about the whole Joey Ratz deal...


I've always had trouble with the whole concept of
At least in the context that authority figures, and their toadies love to use it.
Well, heck, like slimy apologists like Melanie Philips use it.
And that's how I've always heard it used in my life.
Some thuggy little tinpot didn't get their precious slice of obedience, so you're "insolent!".

I've become pretty sure that's what the word was really made for.
You never hear a construction worker say to another construction worker "insolent whelp!!".
Never happens, never gonna happen.

Insolence, eh?

Why is it supposed to be a bad thing, exactly?
No one ever bothered to sell me on that properly.

Always seemed to me, its diametric opposite, head-bowed, blind, scraping deference to authority was a thing to be avoided at all cost.

School taught me pretty quickly that virtually no one in charge
deserved to be.
In the 30 years since kindergarten, I have yet to see anything that's
convinced me otherwise.

That's the secret I wanna pass on to you kiddies out in cyberland.

Y'know, one of those "deadly truths", Leo Strauss was so a'skeered of.

Virtually no one in charge deserves to be.

*Holds hand to ear listening for an apocalyptic explosion*

Nope, we're still here, anarchy hasn't ensued.

So, I'll continue.

I remember an instance, back at my second tour of duty at Toys R Us, I was out in the supply room, getting some shit, and the store manager, and his loathsome little lick-spittle (is there any other kind?) were having a little bitch-session about us.

"Us", being the night-crew.

Flat out saying "this nightcrew sucks, blah, blah, blah, nightcrew fucking sucks, blaugh, blaugh".

And the lick-spittle was like "yeaah...yeah...fuggin, nightcrew...yeeaaah".

So, I crossed my arms, smirked, and leaned against the cross members of the nearest shelf, and looked at them, and listened in on the whole thing.
Just dropped my work entirely, and enjoyed the show, and made sure they saw me.

They saw me.
They didn't care, they just plowed ahead with the bile.

And I didn't care that they didn't care.
Hey, if we sucked so much, doesn't matter if we try hard, or not, right?
We'll just suck anyway.
So, fuck 'em.
I just stood there, watching, and finally, the douche ran out of bile, and they took it elsewhere.

Well, I always got the sense they didn't want to make it look like I'd made them uncomfortable, so the manager wrapped up his particular ugly little paragraph, tried to make it sound like it was the whole thing, and no doubt continued his bitch session at the other end of the store.
Y'know, to look cool for his toadie.
*Eye rolls at the lameness*

Now, another story.
Back at Wal-Mart.
They had this thing you had to do called "the Wal-Mart cheer", it was fucking insufferable, you had to individually in turn, pose your arms to form the letters of the store, while saying the letter, and jump in at the right time with it, and I can't even remember how the rest of the "cheer", that's the buildup to it goes, but it was psychologically painful, and wasted time, which is kind of important for a store that valued its whip-cracking lunatic fucking quotas.

It made me sick, I had no enthusiasm for it, they could tell, but if you fucked it up, they made you start over, and you couldn't go to work until it was done.

Anyway, it was supposed to be a "team building exercise", and Wal-Mart was all about that insufferable shit.

Lotta fucking office companies are obsessed with that too.
Team building, team players, team this, team that.
Sometimes they try to get you to call your fellow drones "the ____ family".
Y'know, shit out of "office space".

Anyhoo, I've painted the picture for you of the two environments, now let's get out the tweezers.

Let's apply the Wal-Mart mindset to the Toys R Us manager.

Now, wouldn't a "proper", manager, from the Wal-Mart school, not waste valuable work minutes sneering and hissing about how much "night crew sucks", and try to oh, I don't know "motivate", us?

Y'know, show some actual LEADERSHIP?
Y'know, of the TEAM?

Y'know, actually DO HIS JOB, and justify his fucking paycheck?

Can't you just see some Wal-Mart big-whig slapping his face, breaking his sword, and having him ridden out on a rail?

And not before calling him something akin to "miserable failure", to the "whoos", of the employees, I'm sure.

Now, apply the Toys R Us standard to Wal-Mart.
They'd see the Wal-Mart cheer as a worthless time waster, and to get those damned monkeys back on the line unloading them fuckin' trucks.

Now, which management style is the correct one?

Something in the middle, perhaps?

So, maybe both managers were fucking idiots?

Now, I didn't mention my manager at Wal-Mart on alternating days who didn't make us do the Wal-Mart cheer, he wasn't so bad.
Wasn't great either.
But not so bad.

But just know, that retail is looooaded with these wretched fucking idiots.

As are offices.

As is politics.

As are corporate boardrooms.

And every last fuck who sits in a golden throne is one of these repugnant valueless idjits.
Hence, Joey Ratz.

And this is the world of compromise and disappointment that school is preparing you for.

Hence all that "pledge of allegiance", type horseshit.

Now, am I being glaringly harsh on these people?

I don't happen to think so.
To my way of thinking, I'm just being stubbornly consistent.
Just taking the standards we supposedly have, and sticking to them to the bitter end.

For example, if someone you knew, got up on their roof, and rode a shopping cart off their roof, and broke their legs, wouldn't you consider that person stupid?

Now, this is exactly the sort of thing the guys from "Jackass", do, and they make a buck off it, but, they're not financial planners, they're jackasses, it's right in the fucking name.

So, if that shit's stupid, shouldn't we look down on even stupider things with harsher disdain?

And we do, we have a whole industry devoted to sneering at criminals, hence the Nancy Grace stuff I mentioned awhile back.

So, if you're say, grossly incompetent at a job where it's really fucking important that you not be incompetent, say, in a position of authority and responsibility on a high level, and that gross incompetence causes mass economic destruction, can't we call you a fucking idiot?

Why, I think we can.

I mean, the Jackass guys only break their own stupid limbs.
These people in the financial sector destroyed people's futures.

I think we can very easily look down on these people with the repulsion we look down on your average idiot, only magnified geometrically.

And boy, do I, you just try and stop me.

How about the mental scarring of rape?
That sends ripples along someone's life forever.
Surely that ruins a future as surely as economic destruction, yes?

Of course it does.

So, if you're the "boss", of a "company", that institutionally protects and covers up for rapists, surely we can look down on that boss with the contempt of that ineffective and valueless Toys R Us manager magnified geometrically, yes?

Damned right you can, and damned right I do.

Now, if these things are indefensible, surely anyone who tries to defend it, is likewise indefensible, yes?

I think so.

We don't put up with holocaust deniers.
Their whole existence is about sweeping the horrors of the Nazis under the rug.

You defend the indefensible, you're scum.

We seem to have agreed to that.

And yet, we've got this brigade of apologists, Catholic, and faith-iest alike, who try to find this weird "middle ground", on the whole matter.

That being "yeah, they raped a bunch of kids...but atheists are such....pricks about it".

Fuck off.

It's kid rape, pick a fucking side, and get on it.

Fucking right I am.

Anyway, that's where I'm stubbornly consistent.
If we apply it to the little level, we gotta apply it to the big level, and vice versa.

And when you do, the whole thing breaks down, and that's just too fucking bad.

Virtually no one in charge deserves to be.

Trying to make that go away, and glue it all together with bullshit leads to the rampant hypocrisy we see around us.

And it takes breaking people psychologically with more bullshit to get them to shut up about it.

Hence the bullshit in schools.

Hence why these broken people end up as the walking dead.

And they know they are.
And they know they're getting fucked over.
Fucked deep up the ass by that nasty minority.

Hence the booming alcohol and anti-depressant industries.

And they don't like you to point it out.
They take it out on YOU if you do.

With shit like "insolent!!", "vile!", "disgusting!".


Carry your donkey, and shut up.

You made your choices.

It's your job to lick these people's boots, it isn't mine.
Don't speak for me.

And speaking of boot-licking, notice how the British government has been bowing, scraping, and boot-licking to Joey Ratz, on the whole joke-memo fiasco?

That tells you the rest you need to know about applying it to the big level.

These walking dead sellouts go all the way to the tippy-top.

All over the world.

So, that does it in for the politicians.

And that does it in for the "noble lie", that anyone in charge deserves to be.

Another one down.

And good riddance.

Hey, ain't my job to carry a donkey, you go right to it, folks.

It's my job to be insolent, and I think I perform it well.
If only middle management would give me a raise.
Too insolent I hear.
Ah well.

Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #16.

The myth-cult-kidfuckers story keeps gathering more stupid like a rolling snowball.


All right, check this out...

Mr Noorani, whose identity has until now remained secret, was moved to “other duties” after he gave authorisation for the memo to be sent to Downing Street and three Whitehall departments.


One source said: “The most striking thing about the Foreign Office team has been how ineffectual they are. They have been disengaged and, frankly, clueless.

Well, clearly, they wanted the man fired.

Okay, anyone see the irony in Catholics blubbering that a guy got moved around, instead of being fired?
It's beyond irony, a word has to be invented.

And note this bit...

Although the Vatican is now trying to draw a line under the memo fiasco, Papal aides believe the Government’s choice of non-Catholic staff typifies the “lack of respect” being shown towards the first ever state visit by a Pontiff.

So, only Catholics can/should handle the visit?
What shrieking entitlement these people have.
It just pours off them.

And DEMANDING respect!

What did this asshole do to be respected?

His former job was kid-fucking damage control.
And it's all come out, so he failed at that.

So, what're his other accomplishments?
He got a bunch of other old assholes to elect him pope?
And what's that?
Running around in a stupid costume?
5 year olds in Superman capes do that shit.

That demands respect?

Another new word has to be invented for the new level of entitlement we're dealing with.

I welcome reader suggestions.

In other news...

Still no answer to my challenges.

And liars, crooks, and thugs continue to run the planet.

Read More......

Now for another thing that doesn't suck.

Victor Stenger on the "quantum", crud you find in shit books like "The Secret".

Link. Read More......

Monday, April 26, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #15.

Liars, crooks, and thugs continue to own and run the planet. Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #14.

As I brought up in the last one, "offended Muslims", butt-hurt Catholics, and sniveling tyrants all seem to have one common feature.
They want someone's head on a platter for their precious wounded feelings.

And it's not just them....

You've got Monsanto stomping on farmers that did nothing wrong, just because they claim to own life, you've got the beef industry going after Oprah just for saying she personally prefers not to have a burger, just to scare the shit out of anyone else, it's all instances of the powerful stomping on the innocent to keep their power through fear.

Or, in the case of the Muzzies, the powerless seeking power through fear.

I'm done calling this behavior, and the people who practice it anything else but thuggery, and thugs.

These are thugs.

It's sad, we've come so far technologically, but politics and business wise, we've been dragged back to the days of Thomas Nast, and Goya.

We've gotta do all that hard work all over again.

They keep coming back, these people, they never leave us.
Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #13.

Petty squabbles.
Tch, where to begin?

We all saw squabbles as kids, didn't we?
Either at home, or when we were dragged out to other people's houses.
And weren't your parents friends always fuckin' dysfunctional?
Notice that one?
Jayzus, we've got a lot of fucked up people in this country.

I was fortunate enough to be at ground zero of some real red-faced shriekers.
What a show.
*Sarcastic clapping*
Weren't they just so stupid?
Weren't they just so fucking stupid?
Goddamn they were fucking stupid.

Just think of the topics.

Fucking FOOD, y'know?

People shivering in despair over fucking mashed potatoes.

And you no doubt, as I did, thought to yourself as a kid "Jesus, this shit is fucking stupid. I wish these noisy unstable people would just shut the fuck up".
Swears and all, you thought it.
Admit it.

What a goddamned hamper on your day y'know?
Trying to just mozy along, watch some fuckin' TV, play with some fuckin' toys, and then this shit.
A fiiight *eye roll*.

Everything, and everyone, has to be frozen in timid awkwardness, because two noisy idiots in the room have to fiiight.

Potatooooesss!! Poootaaatoooess! Aaaaarraaauuaaaarraaghh!!!
*Object flies across the room*

Jay-zus Keeee-rist!

It was about potatoes, or car keys, or missing change, or some shit, but it was always stupid shit.

When I got a little older, when the insolence started kicking in, around 7 or so, I made some comment on fights being dumb.

Can't remember the exact exchange, it's fuzzy now, but what stuck with me was the response.

"You'll understand when you're older".

Lotta bullshit hid behind that one.

It's really a restatement of that "just because", shit.

Y'know, the person can't put it into words, so ya gotta figure it's some "feelings", things, and you'll "understand", when you feel it too.

Like the religion thing.
Until you get that magic special Jesus-buzz, you just don't "get it".

Plenty of ex-religious atheists to crush that one.
It's brain chemicals, folks.

"You just don't get it", "just because", "you'll understand when you're older", "you'll understand when you die and go to Heaven", all the same shit.

All the same lie.

And they pretend it's "wisdom".

It's not, it's bullshit.

Anyway, getting back to the squabble thing, y'know what there is to understand when you're older, kiddies?

Nothing. It's shit.

I mean, okay, there's all the powerful grownup emotions, and deep psychological underpinnings, yeah, but, the first guess is still the right one, fights are fucking stupid.

Let's just pick it apart.

The potatoes fight isn't really about potatoes, it's about finances, and job stability, and bills, and debt, and...

But, it's not even about that, it's about deep memories of childhood baggage.

And a kid would understand childhood baggage, because that's what the fucking fights are.

So, right off the bat, the "you'll understand when you're older", line is a straight up line of bullshit on its face.

Nevermind that it's just a careless lazy dismissal anyway.

See, what you really have to understand, is most fucking people, live in a gut reacted world of raw emotion, no thought whatsoever.

And your intuition that it fucking sucks, and no good comes of it, is right.

Look at the news "offended", Muslims, butt-hurt Catholics, sniveling tyrants, and all of 'em after someone's head on a plate for their wounded widdwe feewings.

It's shit.
A big pile of shit.
There, your sense of reason is confirmed, you're not crazy.

And not only are the fights stupid, but no one wins!


Have you ever in your fucking life seen anyone win these fucking things?

Have you ever talked to anyone who saw someone win one of these things?

Is there a fucking fight trophy somewhere?

Surely it would have been a fucking Olympic event by now.

"Oh! And Agnes just busted his balls with "boy did your mother do a number on you!", let's watch the instant replay!".

No one wins.

And if ya did win, what would you get?
There's no crown, or money, or nothing.
Shit, not even a fucking candy bar.
And if you did win, it'd be fleeting, because the same shit is just gonna happen all over again.

So, all this meaningless selfish behavior passes on more baggage to the next generation to be turned into more stupid fights...

...until someone finally ends up on fucking Dr. Phil.

Okay, if you've never seen Dr. Phil's show, lemme lay it out for you.

Two squabbling self-absorbed chaos addicts are trotted out on stage after a fake staged home video of their dopey private homelife problems is shown in a giant big-screen TV, and then Dr. Phil condescends to them with some bootstrap conservative horseshit sprinkled with some goofy-assed pseudo-yokel catchphrase-y platitudes.

Maybe, if there's time, another tribe of idiots is paraded, and treated to the same abuse.

The zombies in the audience applaud intermittently.

The assholes never get better, but Phil pats himself on the back anyway.

That's it. That's every episode.
You've just seen the whole series.
I've saved you countless hours of frustration, and pain.

Okay, here's Dr. Mike's diagnosis for 98%of the idiots who go on this show, so if you're such a person, listen up, and save the public embarrassment, and annoying plane flight.

First, divorce this stupid horrible prick the femptosecond you get off this show.

Secondly, women of the planet within reach of my voice, do NOT do NOT fuck this man!

He's an illiterate, ignorant, inbred, narcissist, piece of human flotsam, and his genes need to die off this fucking planet!!!!

Do this enough, and there'll be no more fucked up people, and there'll be no more shows like Dr. Phil, and we can get on with our fucking lives!!

(Okay, if it's a woman, switch the pronouns around, and throw "cunt", in there somewhere)

There, that's the cure for most of these people.

The other 2% call the cops.
Or, grow a pair, and learn to tell people to go fuck themselves, and stop caring what they think, and avoid them.

See, that's my whole show, done in 5 minutes, and why I couldn't sell shampoo for a network.

And it's really why you'll never hear that shit from Dr. Phil.
Not "manners", or anything.
Are you kidding?

Sure, he talks a good game about "nutting up", but he'll never nut up, and say the obvious shit everyone in the audience is thinking.

Well, there's also the problem that, a "lefty", might say that, and he's strapped himself to the Sisyphus-ian boulder of "family values".

So, you have to suffer the grueling insincere gauntlet of...

"Aaahhh caaain't teeell yoouuu what to deeuuuoooo!!! Yoouu gotta de-saaahhde whuuut's raahhhght for yeeuuu to deooo-eeooeeaarrghh-gurgle, gurgle, duhr".

How about this?

We know that no one wins fights, so why not lose the word altogether, and call it what it really is?
"The airing of grievances".
Y'know, like Festivus.

Make a weekly ritual of it.
Push back from the dinner table, and proclaim "and now!! The airing of grievances!!", and then let the venom and bile fly.

And then, when it's all done?

Those dead silences humans seem to enjoy.

Shit, this is too good for just households, let's try this shit at the UN instead of wars!

Naw, shit, you're right, wouldn't work, no one makes a buck off that....

Good old Goya had it right about the world.
Always did.

(Scroll back to the opening picture)
Read More......

Reading list update.

Added Fast Food Nation, Chew On This: Everything You Don't Want to Know About Fast Food, and Food Inc.

Seemed important.

Reading/viewing list. Read More......

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #12.

The myth-cult-kidfuckers story keeps attracting new layers of ridiculousness with each passing moment...

Joey Ratz may not go to the UK because of...a joke.
Yeah...I shit you not.


Apparently, kid-fuckers, and their protectors, are sensitive little things with easily hurt feelings.
Tch, aww.
Ya hate to see that, doncha? Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #11.

Oh, speaking of apologies for bullshit...

Still dead silence as far as an apology for the whole "climategate", deal.

Now, while the righties thought it was real, they wanted everyone to get on their hands and knees, and cut themselves open with box cutters in humiliated degraded defeat.

They didn't get that, of course.

Ah, but did they get dead silence?

Nope, it was gotten to the bottom of.
Quite vocally.

And it was a bunch of shit.
And not just shit, but cynical political Rupert Murdoch bullshit.
Y'know, Murdoch, of the legion of sociopaths.

Anyhoo, climate change is still real.

"Climategate", was another slimy ploy from the science denialists.

And the apology? Dead silence.

Oh well.

Maybe it's best not to wait for the apology that never comes.
Maybe it's best to anticipate the silence like an old friend.
Yeah, I think that's the healthier way to look at it.
Kick up my feet, and listen to the fuckin' crickets.

Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #10.

So, Large Hadron Collider....

...didn't destroy the world.

So um...where's the apology, fellas?

Not just no apology, dead silence.

Always the dead silence.

Remember Y2K?

Didn't happen.

No apology.

Not even acknowledgment.

Dead silence.

Is this something humans just DO?
And I'm just supposed to know it?
Do I have a broken chip?
Am I really that fucking weird?

Or, is there a secret little rulebook for bullshit that gets handed around?

Page 1.

"Lie your ass off for all you're worth, doesn't matter about what, just make a BIG fucking noise, then...go dead silent. Drives that one guy in Maine crazy. It's a hoot".

Fuggin pods....
Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #9.

Still no answer to my religionist and conservative challenges.

Well, I did knock 'em off the front page rather quickly, I'll just bump 'em.... Read More......

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #8

On the homeopathic properties of blasphemy.

Okay, what we have here is your every day garden variety Pisschrist.

People took exception to this in some quarters.

Think about what you've got here.

A plastic sculpture, of a guy, that doesn't look like the guy, because no one knows what he looked like, and indeed, he probably never even existed, dipped in human urine.

Now, not only is it a plastic representation of a guy who probably didn't exist, and therefore in no way resembles him, but it's a mass-produced piece of plastic that doesn't resemble the guy.

A cynically churned out commercial product devoid of any true fairy dust of holiness, if indeed such a thing existed.

A soul-dead piece of plastic, made in a factory, for a quick buck, that poorly represents a guy who may or may not have existed, who allegedly got nailed to a torture instrument.

Torture so nasty, that if you had actually peed on the guy, he probably wouldn't have given much of a shit.
Insult to injury, sure, but what injury.
Kinda cancels it out.

A guy who in life, and supposedly in resurrection, was all about forgiving people.

So, a soul dead piece of plastic, churned out for a buck, that poorly represents a guy, who if he existed, and lived today, wouldn't give a shit if you dipped his image, that isn't even his image, in some pee.

Oh, and also, this guy was the honcho of a splinter-cult off the Jewish religion which says thou shalt not make graven images.

So, it's a graven image, made of plastic, for a buck, that doesn't look like the guy it allegedly represents, and if who saw it, wouldn't give a shit, because he was all about forgiveness.

Oh, and it's not even the object dipped in pee, it's a photograph of the object dipped in pee.

And the above is the digitized photograph of the photograph.

So, whence the outrage?

Having trouble with this one....

Now, look at this one...

A cartoon, of a guy, in a bear suit, who never spoke, and it wasn't even the guy, it was Santa Claus.

It wasn't even Santa Claus, it was a cartoon of Santa Claus.

So, if it had been the guy, it would've just been a cartoon of the guy.

A guy who no one knows what he really looked like anyway.

So, if you have a cartoon, of a guy that no one knows what he looks like, in a bear suit, and he never even talks, and then it's not even the guy, the oversensitive-myth-worshipers still say it's the guy, and get pissed.

...even though they didn't get pissed at the guy being fully depicted back in 2002 on the same show.

...and the guy's name was un-bleeped just last Wednesday.


So, it's bad to represent the guy no one knows what he looks like, in a cartoon, even though no one knows what he looks like, so they made up what he looks like, and even if you put him in a bear suit, and even if the guy in the bear suit turns out to be Santa, and oh yeah, did I mention it's all a cartoon?

..but only some of the time?

...and "some of the time", is "whenever we feel like it, so stay on your toes"?

Am I getting this right?

Oh, and, it's blasphemy to draw the guy in a cartoon, but not in paintings in middle eastern countries?

Guess that's one of those "whenever we goddamned feel like it", deals too, eh?

Neat trick.

First of all, I'll restate my opening argument from this rant....

It wouldn't be offensive to say I didn't exist.
It'd just be dumb.
I'd shrug it off.

So, why would God be offended if I said he doesn't exist?
He wouldn't, he'd have better things to do.

So, if God wouldn't give a shit, why would a human get offended on his behalf?

And why would a secondary batch of humans get offended on behalf of anyone who might possibly be offended?

And why would a tertiary batch of humans, who don't even believe in God get offended on behalf of those people?

And let's say it did offend God.
Given how minuscule and insignificant humans are in the larger universe, wouldn't that make him an incredible pussy?
And even more of an incredible pussy if he couldn't do something about it himself, but had to send awful little human henchmen to do his bidding?
(And isn't it funny how many of those henchmen are named after the dude whom it's forbidden to depict?)
Would such a God be worthy of worship?
I think not.

So, any God worthy of worship, wouldn't give a shit.

BUT, if God wouldn't give a shit, then he's not above ridicule and criticism.


So....why are his prophets above reproach?

Aren't they putting themselves above God?

Isn't that....blasphemous??

Isn't going along with that ego trip...idolatry?


No? Why?
Oh, right "because we goddamned say so".

You beginning to get the feeling this shit ain't amenable to reason?

Blasphemy, it's homeopathic.

As is the faith of those who cry out the word.

Just like James Randi gulping down a bottle of homeopathic sleeping pills, it's a lethal dosage of nothing.

Read More......

Oh, and in news that totally doesn't suck....

Happy 20th, Hubble!!!

Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #7.

The hits just keep on coming in the myth-cult-kidfuckers story.

One of the good guys makes the case yet again for putting Joey Ratz on trial.


Oh, and the RCC's argument for why they need to stick around, and remain above the law?
Same as the banking industry.
Read More......

Friday, April 23, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #6.

The greed-bags still feel entitled to the money they're stealing, and will fight like rabid chipmunks to keep it.


Their argument?

Raauuurrrglllaarr!! You can't live without us!! You WON'T live without us!!
We!! Are with you!!! Foorreeeeverrrrrr!!!!

Destroy us, and people will get hurt!! We'll make sure of it!!

Noooo!! We'll never let go!! We'll never let goooo!!
*Thrash, flail, grasp, claw* Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #5.

Bill Nye (the science guy) has become a whore for snake-oil.

Well, that's him ruined for me.


"Herbal lipids tweedle into your labonza, and exfoliate your flagentula!".

Well,...close enough.... Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #4.

Fearful little bigots going too far, and being destructively stupid.

Link. Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #3.

Sideshow Bob is backing/promoting a new righty channel.


...well, I did dare 'em to present me with a culture for there to even be a war with,...let's see what they've got, it should be interesting. Read More......

Postcards from Podsville #2.5.

Fascinating, apparently, all you have to do to silence people in a "free country", is worship myths, and threaten violence.
And not very well either.


Kooky planet I'm on.
Helluva thing, it actually looks pretty from a distance. Read More......

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #2.

Oh, and in other news, some particularly venomous myth worshippers have threatened two of our most prized social critics with violence.

Y'know, in the name of tolerance.

Link. Read More......

Postcards from Podsville.

Thanks to Phil Rimmer for the title.

I almost went with "Postcards from the puzzle factory", but he added that extra bit that perfected it.

Okay, so where were we?

Ah, right, in "on weirdness", I announced my intentions to slough off the bullshit of the culture, and view everything unfiltered.

I think I've got enough deconstructionist rants up now, the heavy lifting is done, so onward we go.

Well, let's just say it, Bush ruined the 00's.

If it weren't for geek culture, and the exciting explosion of internet/computer tech, it would have been an unbroken walking nightmare.

So, having said that, let's look at the news.
Whelp, the lying savages, and their puppeteers, the lizards, not content with the blood of Iraq on their hands, now are trying to stoke up some blood on the homeland with the whole madhatter teaparty game.

Aren't they just so sweet and kissable?

Of course, the zombie media, and the pod people, they just "duhr", along, letting the whole thing swoop by their consciousness like a crow past a window.

And as it all goes on, child fucking under the protective umbrella of myth worship has gone on for decades, if not centuries, but only now, after a prominent non-stamp-collector has blown the stink onto the crowd with an oriental fan, has the zombie media started to wake up, and take the cause.

Doesn't it just feel like the 21st century?

Ain't this just what you pictured?

Bizarro-world/Podsville, it's a kooky place.
But it gives me material.
Read More......

Oh, and "climategate"?....

...turns out it was a big festering load of bullshit.

Knew it.

I'm sure to be inundated with tear sopped apologies from the righties who got nasty during the debacle.
I'm sure of it.

Anyway, here's the potholer series of videos again.
Read More......

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Media of the dead.

"Lyeeebruuuul myeeedia!!!", the piggies squeal.

Go fuck yourselves.

Okay, jackasses, where was this "lyeebruul media", in the drumbeat up to Iraq?

Some true commie hippie action would've actually come in handy there.
How much has that cost now?'
A cool trillion?
Yeah, but snivel about the price tag on health-care and NASA.

Nope, gonna take me a long damned time to forgive the media for dropping the ball on that shit. 4,000 dead American boys n' girls, and pushing towards 100,000 dead Iraqis.

And where's that damned hippie media bringing that up?

Where were they beating Bush with those numbers like a baseball bat?
Outside of a genuine hippie protest, where was it?

Leeebrul myeedia?
Fuck you.
Cross-eyed jackasses.

Yeah, you got a lot to answer for, corporate whore media.
100,000, that's a lot of blood.
You can goddamned bet your asses a few truckloads of that are on your hands for being lapdogs when it counted.

Oh, and Katie Couric?

That was nice.
That was sweet.
But you've got a long way to go.
Lot more washing before the blood is off.

If you're sleeping like a baby at night, you fucking shouldn't be.

Shit, you only got the bat out after Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton told your lot to "grow a pair".

Pretty bad when the comedians have to wake you.

But, that's where we're at.

The real news has turned into a Simpson's parody, so us goofballs have to get preachy.

S'how the cycle goes...

Shit, y'know, they still haven't fully woken up...

Even during the whole MCCain/Palin/Joe-the-plumber debacle, where was this "leeebrul myeedia", commenting on this savage and scalding Rolling Stone piece?

If that had exploded in the mainstream, I'dve thought it would have left mister "I was never a maverick", lying upside down with all fours in the air.

Or, how about that piece I just posted on Bill Black?


And you won't see it on the news.

Where's the network news on Blackwater, or Monsanto?

Again and again "where? Where? Where?".

In walking dead mode, that's where.

Leebrul myeedya?

Walking dead myeedya.

Walking fucking dead media.


My ass.

You clot-headed saps don't know what an actual liberal looks like.

I'M the liberal media, motherfuckers.

Me, and all my nosy-kid pals in the Scooby van.

And you'll be too busy sniffling about us ruining your belief in ghosts to thank us for stopping the crooked land developer.

Ah, well.

Until then, keep tilting at that zombie media.

But for crying out loud, would you stop calling it the wrong name?

It's not that it wounds us leebruls, it's just you sound so dumb saying it wrong.

It's like Biff in "Back To The Future", saying "make like a tree, and get outta here!".

Just dumb.


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The real life walking dead.

Where to start?

How about preachers who are not believers?

Can you imagine that existence?

Imagine everything I described about the hideous slog of the pedophile pretending to be into Catholicism to get his rape, except remove the payoff of pedophilia.

You get nothing, you get nothing for payoff, and have to live that awful life, pretending to believe in horseshit, and lying to people day in, day out.
Everything out of you is a fucking lie.

Not just words, but every move, every breath, every blink...a lie.

I got no sympathy for these people.
Maybe if they're guilty, and get out of it, but otherwise, fuck 'em.

They died a long time ago.

And for what?
Some security?
Some coooomfoort?
Like I said back then, fuck your comfort.
Lotta horrible shit seems to get done in the name of comfort.
Fuck it.
The argument don't wash with me, flapjack.

So, yeah, the clearest example is these religious liars, but we see it in almost every walk of fucking life.

People in jobs they hate, and don't get the balls to leave, people in shitty marriages they're too scared and lazy to dig out of, etc, etc.

They died a long time ago.

They're the walking dead.

And let me clarify, it's not just the selling out, it's the act of NEVER being your authentic self that qualifies it as living death.
You're literally not living your life, some artificial puppet shell is living it for you.

I remember once, back in the 90's some critic saying "all Howard Stern does is say what people think".

Well...if everyone thinks it, why don't they say it?

So they can "get along out in the world"?

Look at the fucking news, it hasn't worked.

You know the truth, but you live a lie, simple as that.
No sympathy.
Fuck yourselves.

Again, it's not JUST the selling out, like, okay, having a shitty job you hate for awhile, until something better comes along, I can forgive that, I got no problem.
I don't bat an eye at that.
Being stuck in that job longer than you wanted due to circumstances, fine, fine, hell, even being stuck in it all your life, and having regret, okay, that's life, I'll give you that.

BUT, when you had a chance to walk away, but you were too scared of losing your cushy lifestyle, or too lazy to upset the applecart, or you were too addicted to...some sick thing, like you got a power trip from the boot-licking "respect", of the very co-workers you hated, or some idiotic and diseased shit like that, fuck off.
And if it's a job at a corrupt company, that you know has blood on its hands, double-scoop fuck off, with a cherry on top, and sprinkles.
You're dead.
You died.
You're dead people.

There's no respect or forgiveness for dead people.
You made your choices.
You ate the brains.
Fuck off.

And that all comes back around to these fucking clergy assholes, they ALWAYS fall under that category, because if telling people the earth is flat, when they know it isn't, and patting the people they just lied to on the head, and sending them on their merry way, isn't selling out one's convictions, then nothing is.

There's no wiggle room there.

The yuppies, I take on a case-by-case basis.

The politicians, I just assume.

And it goes back to the Stern thing, if he gets the ratings he does, and his fans are people who think what he says, but don't say it, then there's a LOT of walking dead assholes out there.

And for what?
To fit in with a bunch of fake people who don't even truly exist, because they're all repressing their true selves too?

Something went wrong somewhere.
Something went really, really, wrong.

And if it was a toxic spill, that caused a literal zombie outbreak that you could see, we'd be getting together, and doing something about it.

But nope, it's all silence.
And the occasional groan.

BUT....who knows?
Maybe they're still in there somewhere, barely alive, and can be saved...



The people working on the antidote had better hurry up...
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