Thursday, December 30, 2010

Haven't done a Podsville in a helluva while...

How about....

The talk I wish someone had given me just before High School.

Okay, first off, the shit Adam said back at Sweetser, about expecting fights, and people challenging you, and having to fight for your very life, and High School being a big bloody ugly war for status and survival?

Bullshit.
The kid's a fucking nut.
In fact, forget him completely, you never see him again.

So, that's out of the way, so calm down.

There's not a flicker of violence the whole four fucking years.

Well, there's one really infamous sexy girl-fight you sadly miss, but, nothing you ever have to personally contend with.

So, yeah, Adam's just fuckin' dumb.
Hell with him.
Piece of crap.

Okay, now for what you really gotta deal with.

Mostly, your own fucking demons.

Yeah, there's a tiny little bit of that "I'm cool, you're not", bullshit that goes on, but it can be largely ignored, and avoided, and not taken to heart.

Never take it to heart.

Just remember this.

Everything that's "cool", for high school is come up with by other fucking teenagers, and all teenagers are fucking stupid.
So, they're wrong.
They're fucking wrong.
Ignore how insistant they are, they're just fucking wrong.
By default.
That simple.
Case closed.
Nothing, and no one is cool in high school.
At all.
Ever.
Never was, never will be.
It's all stupid.
Every last bit.
Have a laugh, and draw some comics about it.

Now that that code is broken, on to the next step.

The girl you're gonna like, she is SO in your league.

In fact, now I look back, they all are.

All the girls you like are in your league.

In fact, there is no "leagues", that's another illusion come up with by stupid people so they can feel special.

Yeah, there's some stuck up little cows that will never give you the time of day, but you smell 'em a mile away, and don't like them to begin with.
You reject them.
So, pppt!

And just have fun, there's no wife material there.

And the punks that have all the raging confidence, that act like they know some secret?
They don't.
I repeat, teenagers are stupid.
Blue collar ones moreso.
There, I fucking said it.

In the adult world, confidence is largely accomplishment based, and teenagers have done nothing, so, they got nothin'.

White trash, mentally shove 'em aside.
Thy're not EVEN "competition".
What a ruse that shit is.

Don't tell 'em though, then there just might be fights.

But yeah, the stupid headgames, tune it out.
They're just stupid teenagers fer chrissakes.
Human white noise.
You never see those little shits again either.

In fact, most of the kids there are good, and don't play games.
Out of like, 1,400 students, it's only like 15-20 stupid shitheads, tops.
TOPS.

Totally avoidable, the whole scene.

And confidence?
It's just a feeling.
Soak it up, it's free.
The American system will try to tell you different, ignore it.
More bullshit.
Bullshit that starts in the schools.

Oh, and on that score, don't find some cynical/suspicious/critical side to people liking you for your comics.
It's what you're good at, and they like it, be HAPPY for fuck's sake.
Life's rough enough without playing headgames on YOURSELF.
Sweetser laid that glue trap in your head, don't step in it.
More illusion.

The whole world of high school is just a goofy illusion.

Except the titties.
Get some.

Then, junior/senior year, listen to this rant.

There, you might actually enjoy yourself this time.

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

NLHH:DD: Wikisode- Bishop & Doc Donner.

Shweet!!

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #33, #34, #35

THE END!!!!!





If you want appropriate "end credits", music, Google/Youtube "birdhouse in your soul", by They Might Be Giants. Read More......

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #30, #31, #32



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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #28 - #29


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Monday, November 22, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #26 - #27


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Sunday, November 21, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #24 - #25


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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #22 - #23


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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Movies I was waiting for in retrospective.

Ayep, back in the early internet days, I was obsessed with the raft of new flicks that were coming out...someday.

A good majority of my time was spent reading all the movie news I could get my hands on. Obsessively so.
These are the ones I ached for with anticipation.
Waiting for all this shit kept me alive for awhile.
Yeah, sick, sad, I know.

Well, they've finally all come out, so, let's look back, and see if they were worth all the lip biting, thumb twiddling, foot tapping, watch checking, and calender marking.


The Star Wars Prequels.


Meh.
Wish I could send the Plinkett reviews back in time to myself then.

Freddy vs. Jason.

This delivered like gangbusters.
Thank you New Line under Bob Shaye.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Alien vs. Predator.

Meh.
Requiem was a little better, but still, meh.

Superman 5.

Over a decade of development hell.
Rumors of Nick Cage.
A horrible script draft by Kevin Smith.
Weenie fanboys defending the Kevin Smith draft because it was Kevin Smith.
Many embittered arguments with said fanboys on AICN.

Finally, after much bullshit, it reincarnated as "Superman Returns".
Pretty decent.
Awesome in the theater.
In hindsight, a little TOO faithful to the Donner film, almost a rehash, but they should have plowed ahead with sequels anyways, the trilogy would've been done by now.
Instead, we're getting a reboot.
Warners learned nothing.
A development hell before this film, a development hell after it.
Batman vs. Superman, never happened.
Justice League, never happened.
They were never gonna happen.
Why did they fuck around with 'em?
Idiots.
Well, we got all the lost concepts as animated films anyway.
And Nick Cage became Ghost Rider.
Hmnh...

Evil Dead 4.

Never happened, Raimi dragged his feet, and dragged his feet, and fucked around, and finally tried to do an Evil Dead 1 remake instead.
Well, not do one, someone else would've done it.
Glad the remake failed, all the other slick horror remakes blow goats.
Dead goats.
Smelly dead goats with flies, and goo.
That come back, and have to be chopped up by Ash.

Anyhoo, it sort of reincarnated as "My Name Is Bruce".

And that one's okay.
Really goofy, almost a Don Knotts, or Abbott & Costello style of humor, you gotta be in the right mood for it.
But at least it was something Evil Dead adjacent.
I count it as Evil Dead 4 in my personal canon.

We also got the Evil Dead video games.
Regeneration is the best of the lot.
That works as Evil Dead 2.5.
And its fun as hell.
So, check that out, fans.

Batman 5.

Looootta reincarnations of this one.
A direct sequel to "Batman & Robin", with Scarecrow, and Harley Quinn.
"Year One", written by Frank Miller.
Live action "Batman Beyond".
Superman vs Batman again.
And a bunch of shit I've forgotten.

Finally, we got "Batman Begins", and then "The Dark Knight", which is the best Batman ever.
So, that delivered.
Way better than all the other shit versions would have, so, glad they waited.
But, at the time, I was pissed.
Wish I could just send the DVDs back to myself with a post-it saying "chill out, here they are".

Oh, and "The Dark Knight Rises", is on its way.
So, yay.

Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash.

Happened as a comic.
Pretty decent.
Movie would have been better.
Raimi is a dick.
Sequel comic was meh.
But, at least it wrapped up the classic continuity, New Line threw it away with their crummy remakes.
Way to go, New Line, way to give the finger to your fanbase who coughed up tickets for 30 years.
Boo, New Line without Bob Shaye, boo.

Anyhoo, lesson learned about what studios give a shit about.

Anyhoo, this could count as Evil Dead 4 if you want.
Up for grabs between this and "My Name Is Bruce".

Tron 2

Oh yeah, heard whispers of this since the late 90's.
Finally happened.
Ain't seen it yet.
Trailers look good.

Star Trek 9, 10.

Sucked.
Flat out.

J.J. Abrams rebooted, excellent.

Watchmen

Finally happened, delivered like gangbusters.

Sin City

Delivered like gangbusters.

Ghostbusters 3

Finally happening.
We'll see.

There was also the video game.
I watched a walkthrough on Youtube, pretty decent.
I could live with that as Ghostbusters 3 if the flick fell through.
Live action reunion would be better though.

Twilight Of The Dead

Fans just assumed this would be the title.
Happened as "Land of the Dead", instead.
Fairly decent.
Was followed by "Diary of the Dead", and "Survival of the Dead".

Also, there was the "Dawn of the Dead", remake everyone liked but me, a "Day of the Dead", remake everyone justly hated, a second "Night of the Living Dead", remake no one even talks about, and then the whole zombie wave, including such films as "Shaun of the Dead", "Zombieland", books like "Zombie Survival Guide", and "World War Z" (soon to be a major motion picture) graphic novels like "The Walking Dead", and TV series like well..."The Walking Dead".

So, yeah, zombie lovers got plenty of goodies to feed their (brains!) craving.

Predator 3


Was whispered about in the late 90's, was assumed abandoned, happened anyway out of the blue as "Predators", with another sequel already lined up.

Godzilla remake

Sucked.
A jillion Toho reboot sequels preceded and followed.
Angry Video Game Nerd reviewed 'em all, so you ain't even gotta watch 'em.

Toxic Avenger 4


Came out as "Citizen Toxie".
Gorgeous.

Yeh, think those are all the ones I was waiting for in the late 90's and early 00's.
A bunch other good ones came out, but they took me by surprise, like "Iron Man", and "Human Centipede", and "Lord Of The Rings".

Too many to list.

But, yeah, the disappointing ones taught me to lower my expectations, and simmer down on the anxious anticipating, and the good ones, well, they rewarded the anticipation, and now I can kick up my feet.

I now live in a world where those films exist, and it's better.
Like I thought it would be.

Well, except for the wars, and 9/11, and the pollution, and Sarah Palin's reality show existing, and the death of the video store, and glassy-eyed texting-addicts everywhere.

But...that's kind of like a dystopian sci-fi flick, ain't it?
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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #20 - #21


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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #18 - #19


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Friday, November 5, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #16 - #17

Double decker tonight! Wikisode, and 2 MSTisodes!


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NLHH:DD: Wikisode- Deathgrasp & Scourge.

Ditto the credits from last time.
(These will all be by Paladin, with me acting as a sort of editor)

Both thumbs up to this one, BTW. Keeck ahhss!

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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Happy 21st Birthday Harry Hembock!


Yep, I created you back in 1989, it's been that long.

Well, actually, your birthday was on January 13th.
So, this is REALLY belated.

What was I doing that made me forget??
*Looks*
Well...looking down my nose at Jesse Ventura...and admiring my new hobo knife.....

Yep, it should have gone in between those ..sorry.

But, consider this an early jump on the 22nd birthday.
I won't forget that one.
So, everyone celebrate.
Beat up a villain while wearing sweats.
There must be some shitty neighbor who qualifies.
Failing that, give a Volkswagon on someone's yard for 400 bucks a home.

And thanks, Harry, for 21 years, 9 books, 2 websites, several friends, glue for my sanity, and a million laughs. Read More......

Friday, October 29, 2010

NLHH:DD: Wikisode- Harry Hembock.

By Paladin.
(With help on the data points by moi)

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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #15

Ah, there, half way there...

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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #14

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Monday, October 25, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #13

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Friday, October 22, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #11 - #12


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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisode #10!

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #8 - #9


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Sunday, October 17, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #6 - #7


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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #4 - #5

Another batch of 2 MSTisodes!


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Okay, look, this is bugging me...

Madonna can't sing, okay?

She literally can't sing.

The emperor has no clothes.

Okay, when she was fresh-faced back in the 80's she had a strong set
of pipes, and could hit those piercing high notes.

Go ahead, go over to Youtube, listen to "crazy for you", or
"borderline", or "burning up".

Real voice, right?

But then, about the time of "open your heart", you can hear a crack in her voice, the glass-cracking high notes are gone.

Then, by "like a prayer", the high-voiced Madonna is totally gone,
she's compensating with low notes like she's doing an Elvis
impression.

But then, by "justify my love", even that's all gone, she's just
talking, and panting like an obscene phone call.

And when she does "sing", the "songs", are meaningless fluff that any
little bimbo you could kidnap out of a mall parking lot could sing
them.
It's all little snippets, edited to shit, harmonizers pushing her
voice, background singers, synth solos, no actual SONG.

Skip ahead, "die another day", she's totally computerized.

Madonna can't sing.

Her one claim to fame totally died back in 89-90.

She coasted on her tits and twat the rest of the way.

It's all fake, people.

Now, I dunno if she blew out her vocal chords singing too much, too
hard, or from gargling whole bouqets of cock, I don't need to know.

All I know is people bought into a fraud.

And okay, so what, Madonna's all washed up, why complain now?

Cuz it's all gonna happen again.

She's already priming her daughter to be her clone.

It's all gonna happen again.

Don't buy the albums, people, don't buy them!
No matter how much your daughters and granddaughter cry!
Don't do it!

We can stop it this time!
We can stop it!

We can save a generation!

*Eyes well up*

We can do it...we can stop it this time...if only you'd listen...if
only you'd listen....*collapses*

Update-
My friend, Laurie, informs me she was ALWAYS fake!
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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #2 - #3!

Another 2 MSTisodes!
The saga of snark continues!


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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Harry Hembock MSTisodes #0 - #1!

Okay, I've rested my brain long enough, back in action.

The story of NLHH:DD is over, but now we're into the bonus features.
The audio commentary with Harry and Spruce, or, what I call MSTisodes (after MST3K).
Enlarge as big as your browser will allow for readability.
The commented on minisodes won't be perfectly readable, but, meh, you can't hear the movie during a director commentary either, can ya?
All right then.
Enjoy. :)



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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Song of the week #14.

My mood today on a glum Maine autumn afternoon.....

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Friday, October 8, 2010

Couple little Harry related updates.

Added the 4th cover to issue 4.

Added history of the Harryverse part 1, and part 2, to "who is Harry Hembock?".

Added the NLHH Dark Designs issues link to "the story so far...". Read More......

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Harry Hembock cover #4 by Paladin!

Sweeeeeet!!!

Previous ones...issue 1, issue 2, issue 3.

Wordforge thread on the evolution of the cover.


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Sunday, October 3, 2010

History of the Harryverse. (Part 2)

History of the Harryverse.

Reality version...

1977-1980-

As soon as I could hold a crayon the whole thing started.
Earliest character I can remember was "Jellybean Man".

Later on, as a goof, I absorbed him into "the P Team".

I think there was also "Garbage Man", a guy who transformed into a heap of garbage.
....dunno what the point to that power was...

1981-1982-

The random characters continued, Superstar pops up, as well as "the S Team", a team of guys with crappy powers that they're named after that all start with S, followed shortly after by about 5 other crappy lettered teams.

1983-1985-

My playtime down the wood road starts, gets retroactively cartooned, and titled "Galaxy Gaurdian", later forgotten, dug back up, incorporated into the Harryverse.
In hindsight, was the subliminal inspiration for the Harryverse to start with.

The Glob is created as a team-up comic with my then friend, Sean.

His guys were the Laserballs, lead by the Sun Beast.

Blowing up the Sun Beast became an important event for Superstar/Glob, so, I was kinda stuck having to incorporate that into continuity later.

Little queasy using Sean's guys, even if just in retro-flashbacks, but he made a knockoff Superstar, so, it balances, I guess....

All the crappy lettered teams merge into "the P Team", (the P is for power).
P Team absorbs all my old characters back to Jellybean Man.
Any new random character I come up with goes into P Team, it sort of becomes my "Justice League Unlimited", title, and what I work on when I'm not doing Glob strips with Sean.

Near the end of '85, I start coming up with my own transformers, because dammit, they weren't churning out the ideas for stuff like toasters, hair dryers, and pizza ovens like they are now.

I transformer-ize everything I can think of.
I turn out to be pretty good at imagining/drawing the transformations, eventually able to skip right to the converted robot on the first sketch of the character.

When I had enough of these guys gathered up, I figured screw it, Transformers don't deserve them, I'll call 'em "Roboton Defenders", and make my own little continuity around 'em.

1986-

More Roboton, more Glob, less P Team.

1987-1988-

Robotons fizzle out.
P Team just winked out.
The transition to Sweetser.
I pick up Glob and Superstar more or less where they left off.

I evolved Glob into a monster like the Hulk, or Savage Dragon, with claws and fangs.

In hindsight, Glob was a shapeshifter, like his form would make a difference....

I think the Superior Seven started to coalesce by then.

1989-

Harry begins as little written stories.
I was supposed to journal about my feelings.
Did Harrys instead.
Fuck the system, man.

Superior Seven truly takes shape.

Shreikh (didn't name them for ages, they were just these neat looking alien monsters) and the Roborg show up in their own little bubble, but I hooked 'em up in Superior Seven continuity later.

'88 & '89 I really pounded out the strips.
Lotta story covered in those.

The end of Sweetser, transitioned to high school, Superior Seven came to a dead stop.

1990-1993-

Started up Harry again as one-off strips in study hall, and it snowballed from there.

Superior-Seven-verse characters popped up along the way, converting it to the Harryverse.

Also, did lots of random filler comedy skit stuff, that got bottled up as "adventures in bad taste". Some of those are up on this blog in the "good old days", section.

1994-

Did a universe reboot to slough off all the messy continuity.
Particularly the Sean-verse stuff.
Heh heh...

1995-1997-

Mostly compiling of stuff into Harry album books.

Retroactively wrote all of the pre-history stuff into continuity, and wove it into one story even if I had to use timewarps to do it.

Retroactively killed off hero teams that fizzled out with elements of their own stories so it could have been plausible.
Y'know, for closure.

With the completion of all that, I was up to 7 volumes of Harryverse junk.

1998-2000-

Retold the whole pre-history deal through the eyes of a new character, Cache Ballard, to compress the story down to about 60 pages, then killed off Cache Ballard.

Incorporated the Cache Ballard stuff into a more concise 2 volume "best of Harry Hembock", compilation.

I use this set as my resource now.

By the millennium, I had transitioned over to internet stuff, wrote a little scene for my own edification of Harry rebooting the timeline again, did a 3rd volume with printed out Heck/Torrent/Krazyfool/NLHH stuff, along with with that as the bookend.
(BTW, threw a Cache Ballard reference into Torrent Too).

Lost track of paper volumes after that.

2001-present-

J-world, TrekBBS, WF, Shmegalamonga.

Harry Hembock: Dark Designs.

Rewrote the outline of the pre-history stuff from '97 as "history of the Harryverse (part 1)".

Wrote this one.


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Saturday, October 2, 2010

History of the Harryverse. (Part 1)

History of the Harryverse.

Continuity version...


Event one, to 4 billion years ago-

The event known as The Big Bang occurs.
The universe is born.

Some time in the microscopic fraction of that moment, an energy pattern resembling a neural structure forms, and expands into a massive cloud of living energy.

At about the first actual full second, this "mind", splits via a sort of mitosis, into its "good", and "evil", halves.

These aspects battle each other within the stretched out time of the warp field of the universe's creation.
During this time warp, the first stars are born, the heavier elements are forged, the second generation of stars is born, planets form, the Earth is born, and the first microscopic organic life on Earth is born.

All of this passes as a matter of relative minutes for the two entities.


3.7 billion years ago-

The two entities burst free into normal time, and arrive in what we understand as the universe.

As part of their life cycle, the two entities scatter their version of spermatic material into various galaxies.
These "spores", go on to grow into smaller intelligences, that pose as deities on various planets, including Earth.

Weakened by their battle, and the expulsion of their reproductive matter, the entities seek to replenish themselves on two large stars, and merge with them so successfully, they BECOME their stars.

Over the millenia, the reproduction cycle, now fueled by the absorbed stars repeats, the "good", star giving rise to a race of benevolant hyper-intelligent energy beings, the "evil", star giving rise to a barely sentient species of energy forms more akin to a military weapon system.

The "evil", star would later be labeled by humans with the primitive moniker "the sun beast", and its robot-like minions "laser balls".

The "good", star's energy beings become the manifestation of their home-world's intelligence, so it never takes an identity, much less a name.
These beings resemble sapient starfish made of plasma and light, and get the moniker of simply "stars", from humans when contact is later made.

Subconsciously spurred on by the prior conflict of the original intelligences, the Stars, and the SunBeast/Laserballs learn of each other, and erupt into galactic war.

In the course of this great battle, many Stars and Laserballs are destroyed, and ultimately, the Star homeworld/star is destroyed, the Stars scatter across the universe, and establish colonies across various smaller stars throughout the Milky Way galaxy, including Earth's sun.

The Stars in the sun's core lay low in hibernation for millenia.


Approx 50,000 years BCE-

Members of the originall spawning cycle of the great entities arrive on Earth, read the minds of primitive human beings, and based on their dreams, myths, and superstitious fears/desires, pose as their deities, and begin shaping their civilizations.


3,000-800 years BCE-

The Egyptian and Roman civilizations coalesce, rise, and ultimately come in contact.

Along the way, their respective deities pass to human beings not only science and maths, but the secrets of manipulation of quantum fields, to produce various matter conversion effects, and enhancement of chemical reactions.
This particular science becomes superstitiously known as "magic", and/or "alchemy", and its practioners known as "wizards", "magicians", and "sorcerers".
These secrets pass covertly throughout the ages, soon becoming drowned out by more conventional sciences.


2,???-800 BCE-

An Egyptian wizard becomes so powerful and wicked, the court sorcerers are forced to combine their resources, and skills, and banish him to a parrallel netherworld.

This wizard is later reintegrated out in deep space by the teleporter system of an advanced alien race.

The wizard combines his magic with their technolgy, rises up and seizes their ship, then wins space battle after space battle, builds up a fleet of stolen ships, forges various alliances into a patchwork confederation, and becomes the galactic overlord, Vornoroth.

Vornoroth then aims his fleet back towards Earth to extract his revenge.


600 AD-

A magic-tech energy weapon falls through a temporal vortex from the future, merges with an iron rich stone, and becomes the sword Excalibur.

Excalibur chooses Arthur Pendragon, genetically bonds to him, and passes this link down to his descendants.

Arthur's genetic line would give rise many centuries later to one Harry Hembock.


1975-1980 AD-

Members of the Roboton race of transforming robots fall through a temporal vortex from the future, crash land on Earth, and go into hibernation.

Members of the Slarrg confenderation of shapeshifting lizard beings follow the Robotons through the vortex, pose as humans, found Chemomess Industries, use the resources of the company to locate, and reverse-engineer, Roboton tech, aiding in the technological explosion of the late 20th century.

The Blickley family, descended from Vornoroth, and keeper of his mystical secrets, merges their company with Chemomess, and become upper echelon members of its executive board.


1982 AD-

The Star race awakens from its hibernation, and seeing the distressing state of humanity, sends their greatest champion to assist them.

The being, upon arrival, discovers a Superman comic book, and uses matter transformation to take on aspects of the character's appearance, becoming Superstar.
Superstar begins his crimefighting career shortly after.


1983-1984 AD-

Chemomess industries, being irresponsible with human life, causes various ecological accidents which create numerous mutant super beings.

Various of these super beings go on to fight crime, learn of each other, and combine their efforts into the group known as "The P Team".

The Sun Beast learns of Superstar's presence on Earth, sends a contingent of Laserballs to investigate.

Jonathan Parks, a worker at Chemomess, has a lab accident that transforms him into the shapeshifting slime known as "The Glob".

A space police officer, and an evil wizard, Dr. Demonic, fall through a temporal vortex from the future.
The officer uses a stolen (from Dr. Demonic) magic-tech energy sword, goes under the name "Galaxy Gaurdian", fights Dr. Demonic instigated crimes, and henchmen, ultimately, re-opens the vortex, gets flung back in time again to the 1960's, becomes Harry Hembock's father.

Dr. Demonic, sucked up the same vortex, goes forward to the 1990's is killed by Harry Hembock.

The sword goes back to 600 AD, becomes Excalibur.


1985-1986 AD-

Laserballs attack Earth, Glob destroys/devours severall, gains his power of laser vision as a result.

Glob and Superstar join forces, destroy all of the Laserballs on Earth, combine their powers, and (with the aid of the P Team, and the entire Star Race) destroy the Sun Beast, an event which inadvertently, and unkowningly, creates the temporal vortex, a door in time that sucks even itself up, manifesting itself across history as multiple simultaneous time doors, causing various predestination paradoxes.

The Roboton awaken, instantly absorb English as a language, and remodel themselves to disguise as human vehicles and devices.
They're able to discern Slarrgs disguised as humans, and begin eradicating them.
This is percieved by the general populace as the murder of innocent human beings, so their camoflage disguises come in handy.

The Slarrgs within Chemomess engineer a robotic assassin to finish off the Robotons one by one.
It succeeds.

The human military, with aquired Roboton tech of their own, engineer a similar assassin droid who goes rogue, and destoys the base of the P Team, killing all inside.
The original age of heroes ends.

The two assassin droids destroy each other.

Chemomess absorbs the tech of all of the dead robots, Roboton or otherwise, soon unlocks the secrets of cyborgs.


1987-1988 AD-

Glob and Superstar continue their crimefighting careers solo, with occasional teamups.

Glob goes under the alternate egos of "Monster G.I.", and later, "Lieutenant Parks", when aboard the orbital fast food franchise the "U.S.S. Burger Boy".


1989 AD-

Harry Hembock undergoes his superhero origin, begins his crimefighting career as Harry Hembock: Hurt Hero.

Glob, Superstar, Marvin The Metamorph (a shapeshifting mutli-tool turned sentient), Robo-BoBo (a cyborg), Street Fight Pumpkin (a mutated human vegetable hybrid skilled in martial arts), George Ginespurn (an inventor), and The Twinkie (a twinkie mutated with every form of radiation, toxic waste, DNA manipulation, cybernetics, etc, with a ridiculously long trend-comics name too long to print here), form the team "The Superior Seven".

The Roborg, and the Shreikh, arrive from the future via the temporal vortex, begin immediatly battling each other, causing mass devastation.

The Superior Seven ally themselves with the Roborg, gain massive tech upgrades from them, aid in the decimation of the Shreikh.

The evil scientist, Brian Robber, becomes the official villain of Glob, Superior Seven, allies with the Shriekh.

The Shriekh with Brian Robber's help, wipe out the Roborg.

The Superior Seven wittle the Shriekh down to a small handfull that go into hiding.

Brian Robber constructs a power nullifier gun that can kill all super powered beings, wipes out all of the Superior Seven but Glob and Superstar, Glob kills Brian Robber, loses his powers, reverts to Jonathan Parks.

Superstar, distraught at the loss of his comrades, retreats into outer space.

Jonathan Parks, distraught at the loss of his powers, and fame, commits suicide.

Second age of heroes ends.

1990-1993 AD-

Harry Hembock rises up into a respected superhero, asborbs the tech of the Superior Seven, meets up with several allies, including Spruce, Dr. Spray, etc, creates Hembug, Omneron.

Harry and friends finish off the Shriekh, kill Dr. Demonic, Vornoroth, Nick Blickley, and others.

Harry destroys Chemomess, burns it down, becomes a fugitive.

Harry rediscovers his father's base, equipment, continues his legacy.

Harry saves enough people/shit to be pardoned.


21?? AD-

Mankind expands out into space, space police formed.

An order of Blickley/Vornoroth descended/inspired mystics forms an order lead by the future Dr. Demonic.

A temporal vortex sucks up Dr. Demonic, and a hapless space police officer sent to arrest him.


22?? AD-

Chemomess's original work in cybernetics has been continued by various other corporate entities, and pays off, humanity becomes relentlessly cyborg, culminating into total prosthesis.

Technological and magical humans schism.

28?? AD-

Prosthetic mankind become the Roboton.

The magical humans transfrom themselves to the point they forget their humanity, become the Slarrg, start a war with the Roboton.

Several Roboton, Slarrg, fall through a temporal vortex to the past.

3??? AD-

Roboton evolve into the the nano-biological Roborg.

Several Roborg fall back in time through the temporal vortex.

35?? AD-

Several Roborg cross breed with Slarrg, resultant crossbreed evolves into the Shreikh, several Shreikh fall back in time through the temporal vortex, initiate war with the Roborg, fall back in time again to the 20th century along with some of the Roborg.

4??? AD to the end of time-

Shreikh technolgy catches back up to the level of Roborg, Shriekh evolve back up to a cybernetic humanity.

Cybernetic humanity uses ultimately perfected teleport/conversion technology to transfrom themselves to humanoid Stars.

NuStars merge into a Reverse-Sun-Beast, merge with the temporal vortex, create a counter time warp, create the Big Crunch, merge with the Big Crunch, set off the next Big Bang, fuse the timeline into a loop.

NuStar-humanity-entity passes through the Big Bang, is split into the two entities again.

It all starts over with the past as the blueprint.


1994 AD-

Harry Hembock becomes aware of the cyclical nature of the universe, doesn't like its implications, creates a singletron bomb, creates his own open universe, shrinks down into it via a jury-rigged teleport.


Second timeline-

1989-1994 AD


Most of the same events surrounding Harry Hembock occur, but without the temporal goobledygook, and useless crappy ancillary characters.


1996-1997 AD

Harry has a few more sporadic episodes, defeats an evil version of himself, mostly retires.


1998-2000-

Thin sprinkle of sporadic episodes, retroactive "lost episodes", rushing through commentary on the closing years of 1990's pop culture.

Harry, displeased with how the 1990's turned out, uses a rigged teleporter to go back, create yet a third timeline.


Third Timeline-

2001-2010-


The "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", universe.


2011 and beyond-

Harry merges with the second timeline, gets back many of its plot elements.

Read More......

Friday, September 24, 2010

Lost on the buffer.

(A guy operates a Star Trek transporter console, let's make it the TOS era, cuz I just prefer the old-school look of the tech)

Transporter chief- Ope, ope...we're losing him....losing him...come on...ope, getting him back....almost...shit...lost him...lost on the buffer.

(That's it, all I got. Fucking thing has sat inside my head doing nothing for 5 fucking years) Read More......

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

How I spent my summer.

Where to start...


Whelp, came down with the fucking gout of all things, and that sucked away most of my summer.

June and July, was mostly recovering from that.
Either writhing in bed with mind-blowing agony that felt like my foot was trying to transform into tree roots, slowly, and crunch-ily like "American werewolf in London", OR, hobbling about the house like a penguin.

Not fun.

Sooo, while I was laid up with that, I worked on Harry, and churned out Issue #2, #3, and #4.

So, at least that got done, anyway.

It put the kybosh on my fucking camera trips, so, didn't get to do those, at least not with nice summer-y weather.
Like doing those for summer.
But, couldn't even get a shoe on my shitty gout foot, much less drive, so, pppt.

Wish I could've cut the damned thing off.
Bastid.

Ohhh, and it got better slooooowly, so damned slowly.
That last little tiny ache in the joint of the big toe juuust finally left..last week!

So, anyway, once I was finally good to drive again, which was about August...shit, there was nowhere really left to go that I haven't been already.
Wasn't worth taking the camera.

After wrestling with gout, I just felt like sticking to familiar comfortable places, wasn't in the mood for goddamned Portland.

I gotta bite the bullet, and tackle it though, don't I?

Well, the one good trip I did make, and I shoulda brought the camera, but didn't feel like it, was back to the Mall, via Best Buy.

Wanted to get the cheap DVDs of the Nightmare On Elm Street series.
(2 2-sided DVDs a pack, 2 packs, 20 bucks all together, nice)

Needed 'em to go with "Never Sleep Again".
Man, if you dig the Freddies, you will love that documentary, it's got literally everything.

I have more fond memories of watching that series in the late-80's early-90's then my actual high school experience, so seeing all those people again felt like my high school reunion.

Yeah, that sounds geeky as fuck, but I don't care, it was that cool a documentary.

So, yeah, that gave me a buzz, and I figured "shit, not only do I need all those movies upgraded to DVD, to see them again in good quality, but I need them fucking NOW! Fuck Amazon, I ain't waiting!".

So, into the car I hopped, and away I went.

Actually, tried Wal-Mart first, because, even though I despise them, they have everything, and their DVDs are especially cheap.

No dice, the Freddies were the one thing they didn't have.

Sonzabitches.

Well, good, I wouldn't like the idea of having to thank them, anyway.

I loathe that there's no local mom n' pop shops for videos anymore, Wal-Mart fucking killed everybody.

So, anyway, found my movies at Best Buy, and got in and out of there as quick as I could.

Clerk tried to strike up a conversation about the Freddy remake, I wasn't having any of it.

Needless to say, having the Nightmare series along with "Never Sleep Again", is pure fucking bliss.

But...I needed to keep the buzz going, I needed more, so, it was time to collect more Robert Englund flicks.


Of course, the arrival of Jack Brooks is where you came in for my little 9/11 story.

In order of goodness, they go Behind The Mask, 2001 Maniacs, Jack Brooks.

Behind The Mask is brilliant, if you love the horror genre, you'll totally dig it, I think it's the next step in postmodern horror-comedy after "Scream".

And the other two are just fun. :)

So, that's the Robert Englunds,...but..y'know, I left out "Zombie Strippers", cuz it looked so schlocky...but fuck it, it's got Robert Englund.
Yeah, I'm getting it...who am I kidding?

Anyhoo, postscript to the acquisition of the Freddies, I know I'll never watch old tapes again once I get the DVD upgrade, and I need every inch of file cabinet space I can muster, and you can't get shit for tapes on Ebay, you're practically paying people to take them off your hands once you ship the things.
So, with an ache in my heart, I took the Nightmare series, Creepshow, and Fright Night out to the curb for the garbage man.

*Sigh*
So many memories.
I mean, I still have the flicks, and in better shape than they ever were...but, I quested for those damned tapes.
Riskier quests than the stupid trip up to Best Buy, lemme tell ya.
Lotta work back in them days.
Like I bemoaned in the Westbrook one, that age of video is long gone.
Tch.

But, I guess it's the flicks that really matter, isn't it?

Anyway, got the Freddies, got more Robert Englund, still needed to keep the buzz going, so, I expanded it out to DVD upgrading all my 80's flicks.
The most beloved ones, anyway.
That quest is still ongoing, but it's closing in towards the end.

But, that's been jazzing me, I really do fucking love movies.
Been great re-connecting with that.

Oh, and to feed my Robert Englund/Nightmare jones, I recently got "Hollywood Monster", the Robert Englund autobiography.

Plowed through the whole thing saturday night.
Excellent. :)

Hmm, what else went on this summer?
Not much else...

Didn't get out much, so, been trying to cram it all into August and September.
Don't think I made it, the cold weather is already creeping up.
Kerosine stove has been firing itself up at nights.
Summer's done, methinks.

Well, did my little entry on the wood road.
It was still nice out then.

Got out to my favorite Dairy Queen a couple times.
(See the Westbrook one again).

Got myself some Lindor truffles.

My 35th birthday happened, it was kinda "meh", but at this age, I guess they're gonna be that way from now on....

Saw "the human centipede".

Did my walk on 9/11, it was beautiful out then.

Still gotta tackle Portland.
Like to get that done before snow starts.
Man, time's flying.

So, yeah, that was summer.
Tch, wanted to do so much more....
Well, that's life....


Read More......

Sunday, September 12, 2010

How I spent my 9/11.

"Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer", arrived in the mail, started watching that, but, it was a perfect day, temperature was perfect, air quality was perfect, so, I said "fuck it, I gotta be out in this", so threw on my shoes, and just took off.

Took a nice walk down the road described in my first location entry.

It was beautiful out.

Lotta birds and crickets chirping away.

No dogs ran at me, nor fucking pickup trucks pop out of driveways just as I went by.
Everything went smoothly.

Saw two big 3 inch long ants jaw-wrestling in the sand on my way back.
Stepped over 'em.
Let 'em handle their own business, I figure.

Heard creepy voices jabbering from the cornfield.
Could've been sound carrying from somewhere else, but it sounded like they were out there.
Wasn't creepy-creepy, just kinda...empty-creepy, y'know, just sounded like a veeeery boring conversation about veeery boring people, but I couldn't make out the words.
Just un-enthusiastic Eeyore-ish droning that wouldn't shut up.
Just, a weird conversation to be having in a fucking cornfield, y'know?
Even "hey, look at all this fucking corn, help me pick it", would liven things up, y'know?

So, yeah, people can make corn boring.
But...they can make corn evil too...(item 17 on this list)

But, that didn't get me down, it was kind of amusing.
Like animals, y'know?

Oh, and litter is making a comeback.
All the environmental guilt tripping of the 90's had the ditches cleaned up all nice, now strawberry milk bottles, drumstick cones, and cigarette packs are creeping back in.

Tch....

Bastids.
And bitches, women are stupid slobs too...

Didn't let it get to me though.

It was too gorgeous a day for that.

Fuck people.
Nature is the real world.
Washington, Wall-Street, that's just mass psychosis.

So, got home, drank, peed, laid back, finished watching Jack Brooks.

And not once did I even remember that is was 9/11.
Well, once, for a minute.
Followed by "hmph", and listening to the crickets.

Yep, it was a goddamned good day.
Gotta appreciate those when they float by.



Read More......

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Happy 9/11 day again!


One more to go before the decade anniversary!

Aren't you so goddamned excited!?

Whelp, checked Movie Web just now, and no one had the bad taste to go out of their way to release their fucking schlock today.


So, maybe people saw my ruthless mocking, stroked their chins, had a discussion with their loved ones over the supper table, and they all discussed it with their friends, and so on, and so on, and it made a ripple, and no one went and saw those awful movies on 9/11, and it hurt the monsters in the wallets, and now, thanks to me, they've stopped it forever.

And maybe that's turned the tide against making this morbid occasion into a creepy jingoism fueling holiday.

Maybe.

I'd like to think I had a hand in stopping evil in its tracks.
It'd be neat to think that...

Anyway, not much new going on this 9/11.

Freedom Tower's finally being built I hear.
Took 'em fucking long enough.

Oh, right, that first batch of money that was gonna do it vanished down the gullets of bureaucratic termites, and they all just simply got away with it.

Mentally add those fucks to the legion of sociopaths.

Not much else for commentary, said it all on previous 9/11s...



Wow, three of these, the blog is growing fast.
I remember when it stood knee high to a grasshopper.


Read More......

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Location blogging #16- The woods out back.

Haven't been down here in years....
Here we go...

Okay, so, after hacking one's way through with a machete for a bit, one finally hits this spot where the trail clears.

Here, lemme illuminate the path....


Clear now? Okay.

So, we walk forward, and the path really gets nice and clear, and like something out of a painting on the cover of a fantasy novel, minus the critters.
Photo doesn't do it justice though.


I'll outline that in case it's a bit too fudgey...



So, we keep heading this way, and we finally hit what I consider the end.



It gets REALLY overgrown here, so, here's the path....




Now, one COULD keep going, but you'd need a machete, gloves, galoshes, bug repellent, goggles, a sack lunch, and an I-Pod, and you'd just pop out of somebody's back yard, and get shot, or have a dog running towards ya or something anyway.
Not worth it.

Now, off to the side here....


....is where there used to be a wild blueberry bush.

Used to be like, the point of coming up here.

(Highlights trail relative to location)
(Blue is edge of trail, red is direction of trail, green is where bush was)



Also past, and buried in the machete-shit, was some wild blackberries.

All gone now.
*Sighs*

Anyhoo, last bit..

Turned completely around, and heading back to where the first pic was taken....


'Nother fantasy novel shot.

Path higlight...tippy top relative to the arrow is roughly the spot we started at...



So, that's it, that's "the wood road".

Spent a lot of my childhood up here.

Coming up for the blueberries, bringing toys, hacking down plants with toy swords, et cetera, et cetera.

Hmm, looking back, I think all that play planted the seeds for Harry Hembock.
Think it? I KNOW it.
Before I even gave him a name, Harry and the Harryverse were born up here.
Sweetser was just finally where he got written down.

Y'know, the spots up here would be good locations to shoot a horror movie or something.
I always jokingly call it "the Blair Witch woods".
It's got that quality to it.

Horror, something medieval, maybe Robin Hood-y, it's a cool woods.
(Well, that's why I played in it....)

Not with my equipment though, my camera is just this thing, remember.

Still...

Lotta good memories down the wood road.
I'll try to unlock/remember some more, but at least I got this entry to link back to for the reference when I do.
Read More......

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