Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Re: My last rant.

*Looks at it, and grimaces*

Fuck it, people, I'll say the deep shit in my art. Read More......

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Another minisode title.

The title for Minisode 2.5 is...

Minisode #2.5: OOO!! EEEE!! AAAH!!!

Tried to come up with something fancier, but that said it all.
:P Read More......

Okay, let's have us a rant.

Long, long, ago, some guys got together, gathered up all the myths of their particular little desert tribe, wrote them down into a little book, and said "this is a MAGIC book! It's full of the stories of our people, and where they come from, and also some nice little rules for you to follow. Oh, and don't make fun of the magic book, and especially don't say it's not magic. This we'll call 'blasphemy', and if you commit it, we'll fucking kill you. BTW, that one's in the magic book".

And so things went on this way for a couple millennia.

And then we get up to now, and we've got airplanes, and Playstation 3, and microwave ovens, and cell phones that are practically the tricorder from Star Trek.
Well, fuck, they're better than the tricorder, really.
Okay, so we've got tricorders.
But, we call them phones, because the marketing people aren't geeks.
But, we've got tricorders, people.
Fucking tricorders.

Anyway, in this age of progress and enlightenment, we've just about gotten to the point where if you say the magic book isn't magic, you'll just get "hey, you've offended my beliefs! I'm going to cry and pee!".
Which is a nice step up from being fucking killed.
But, if you want to lead the most powerful country in the nation, you still have to play along and say the book is magic.
And in certain parts of the world, they'll still fucking kill you for laughing at their magic book.
Of course, theirs is a different magic book, but the rules still apply.
So, there's still some work to be done.

But, when you tell people all this, they tend to get offended.

I keep hearing pissing people off isn't productive, but there's nothing you can say against religion that doesn't piss people off.
And there's nothing you can say rationally about religion that won't come out anti-religious.
Religion has perniciously constructed itself to be immune from criticism of any kind.
Either you get the killing, or the weeping.
So, what do we do?

We cant put this shit off, WW3 looms, so it's a dialogue that needs to be had.
But no one wants to have it.
How the hell do we even have this discussion, folks?
Help me out here, I'm at a loss. Read More......

Monday, July 21, 2008

Harry Hembock minisode #4!!

Yeah, grabbing bits and pieces off Google is kinda cheating, but damned if it don't look purty.
Plus, I wanted Abmuloc to have a different reality to him than the cartoon guys.
It'll all become clear why later...

Read More......

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Harry Hembock minisode #3!!

Ahh, the plot is finally moving now.
Also, note the arc title is in use.

Read More......

Friday, July 18, 2008

Minisode titles!

Titles for the episodes so far are...

Minisode #0: Does Anyone Remember Harry Hembock?

Minisode #1: Hallelujah! - It's Raining Acumen!

Minisode #2: Harry Hemlock's Pinaceae

Thanks go out to Tamar Garish. :) Read More......

Minisode arc title!

I've decided the title will be....*drumroll*

Nobody Loves
Harry Hembock:
Dark Designs

Or, the preferred abreviation, NLHH: Dark Designs

All future minisodes will bear the title, and the minsode arc will be known by this monkier when I compile it together. Read More......

Harry Hembock minisode #2.5

Okay, this isn't an "official", episode, as it does nothing for the plot, and is really just throw away foolishness.
BUT, it is a test bed for improved panels, text, and balloons, and it came together into something pretty funny, so I figured I'd throw it up here to give you a taste.

Also, I experimented with drawing in larger panels before scanning and shrinking them into the smaller 9 panel grid, so the art has a bit more detail.
But, where it was a test, I didn't try too hard, so it balances out....
Anyway, all that said, it's looking better than the first three.
Baby steps.


(Best title I could come up with)

Read More......

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Teensy update.

Added a little avatar over there.
That's me if I were an anime character.
No, I didn't draw it, it's off of a (now defunct) avatar builder site from some years ago.
There, NOW all the layout stuff is done. Read More......

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Ahh, there.

Quite a crash course these last couple weeks have been..

But, now this feels like a fully fleshed blog.
It's not DONE, blogs are never DONE, but there's enough for this to feel fully rounded enough to count as a blog, and not a skeleton now.
Everything on my mental grocery list is done.

Got the 3 major chunks of my biography up.
So, now everyone can get to know me, where I came from, and what I'm all about.

Got 3 Harry minisodes up, so the ball is rolling on those.

Got a good beefy sampling of my stories, and other old material up, including some cartoons.
So, now you all can see my creative side.

Aaand, got the layout and features pretty much how I want 'em.
Might expand "recent comments", if this place becomes more active, but everything's all set for now methinks.

So yeah, that's a pretty good chunk of myself.
Hope that's a decent self advertisement for this thing, and you'll all keep checking in.

If it were up to my hyperactivity, it would've been all barfed up on the first day, but that really would've overwhelmed, so I'm glad I paced it a bit.

Now for what's coming.

More Harry minisodes.
I figure 100 parts will play out the whole arc, then I'll slap a title on it.

As promised in episode 1, they will evolve.
I'm already looking at ways to improve the tech, and you'll notice a marked improvement with episode 3.
And I'm planning further evolutions down the line.
These'll look like real professional work by the time the arc plays out.
I'll do a lot of special experimental ones here and there too.
Photo colages, CG, whatever new toy I can get my mitts on.
The writing will get edgier too.
So, stay tuned for that.

More chunks of my biography.

More stories.

And, finally, I'll get back to ranting, I promise.
Politics, religion, culture, I'll slam it all.

So, again, stay tuned, great things are coming.
All this so far is just the planting of the seed. Read More......

The history of Diacanu part 1.

Well, I have some fuzzy memories of being in a crib, and a playpen, but my first clear memories start at two, with receiving my first Star Wars action figures.

A bunch of other stuff happened, I'm sure, but the next clear memory that's left is of Dad handing me my first comic, Batman issue 307.

My next memory, and where my memory record finally gets perfectly clear, is of the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno Incredible Hulk series.

Then bam, next comes Superman The Movie.

That's it, no going back, geekdom had taken hold. :)

Then, bam, along comes Empire Strikes Back.
(Although, I never dug the Dengar figure).

Damn, those were some good years.
And as a kid, years feel like decades, so I got to savor that shit.
What an awesome first 5 years those were.

Yeah, yeah, and I had all the other kid shit too, Mickey, Donald, Big Bird, Cookie, Grover, Oscar, Mr. Rogers, Kermit, Fozzie, Scooby Doo, and Fat Albert.

Man, I miss Fat Albert, none of my crappy basic cable channels rerun it.
I mean, they retroactively made Scooby Doo the big deal "remember this??", Generation-X thing, but I remember merely tolerating Scooby Doo, but I LOVED Fat Albert.

Late 70's, early 80's, that was literally the best cartoon on.
For me, that was THE cartoon.

For a kid my age in that time, there was Hulk, Sesame Street, Muppet Show, and Fat Albert.
Those were your shows.
And there was an ocean of news and soaps to get through to get 'em.
And weeks felt like months when you were little, so that wait was Chinese water torture.

Well, along this time, my school days start.
Kindergarten set the tone.
I immediately realized I didn't like authority.
And I also immediately realized school is full of a lot of mindless meaningless structure to numb your mind, and keep you quiet.
I didn't have the vocabulary to convey this yet, but, those were my sentiments.
I knew I was in for a lot of jive bullshit.
If someone had told me there were 12 more years of it ahead, I would've collapsed in despair right there.

Anyway, skip ahead, first grade, more of the same, drilling, repetition, but, they tried to sugar coat it with a pseudo-Sesame Street sauce, but I knew better.
Well, least I learned to add.
I learned to read in there somewhere.
That's strange, I don't remember learning to read.
Just suddenly I could.
I can't hit the moment when it clicked in my memory, it's not nailed down.
Y'know, I think the basics came to me watching Sesame Street.
The part with the two headed monster, and he/they had two halves of a word that slowly inched together.
That kinda taught you how to sound a word out.
I think that was it. It didn't happen in school.
I just watched a jillion episodes of the two headed monster, and all of a sudden, I was reading, and not really knowing it.
S'why I can't hit the exact moment, it was during Sesame Street, and Sesame Street is a blur.

Anyway, I got out of first grade able to read single words, and able to count, and add 1+1 and 2+2, and.. 4+4..not too sure about that one...
As I recall, it was scary going higher than ones, so I broke everything down into ones first, then used fingers.
I think that was a signal to someone that something was wrong with me.
Because that's when the special ed shit started.
Just cuz I wouldn't risk 4s.
Musta been something else, I dunno.
I wasn't torturing bugs or anything.
Who knows? I'll never get a straight answer on that shit.

All I know, is second grade, half way through, Mister Rhodes shows up.
He was this chubby little dude, funny high voice, had a Santa Clause energy about him.
He takes me aside during play period, becomes my buddy for the next couple days or so, asks questions I can't remember, next thing I know, I'm going to a different school, and I think I've won a prize or something, because that's how they act about it.
Indeed it was a bigger school, so hey, cool, but I notice that several of my classmates on Mister Rhodes class talk funny, and drool, and one of them poops himself.
And these kids only seemed to be in Mister Rhodes class.

Anyway, apart from that, it felt like a normal class.
My addition got better, as did my reading.
It wasn't a creepy class, there was no abuse or nothing.
Anyway, they figure I'm smart, so for third grade, I go to Mrs. O'Donnel's class, the normal 3rd grade class.

There I just kinda totally fucked off.
Drew a lot though.
Mrs. O'Donnell wasn't a bad broad.
For some reason, at the time, I thought she was.
I dunno why.
My reading and writing were pretty good.
Had a bitch with multiplication though.
I remember, everyone blasted past me there, and for math, after a time, they sent me to the regular second grade class to try to catch up.
And it was like with my fours, except instead of breaking things down to ones, I was breaking things down to pluses so I could process it, then reassembling the answer out the other end.
I couldn't get that X to magically do it all at once in my head.
I did it out on scrap paper, and the teacher flipped out, and tore it up, and wouldn't let me have scrap paper, so I started doodling it out under my desk, and that REALLY pissed her the fuck off, and she started shouting, and I started bawling, and ugh, what a fucking mess, and I think that planted my hatred of numbers right there.

Yep, why I was never a scientist or engineer.

But fuck it, I knew I had cartoons to do.

So, that sorta plugged along like that, and I remember Mrs. O'Donnel giving me a speech about how I didn't fool her, she knew I was smart, and I just needed to apply myself, and believe in myself, and yadda, yadda, and lo and behold, I got shot off to regular 4th grade.

Well, I fucked off there too.
I'm good at fucking off.

Cartoons, smuggling in toys, passing notes, slacking on homework in favor of pleasure reading, y'know, the all time classics.

So, halfway through, they boot me into special ed again.

But, this time, it wasn't retarded/hyperactive special ed, it was "Welcome Back Kotter", special ed for fuckoffs.
It was a new class headed by Mr. Walker.
Funny guy.
Ginger haired guy, always had ballcap wings in his hair, never saw him with a ballcap though.
Funny guy, everyone's pal, kinda like being taught by Dave Coullier from Full House.
And the work was fuckoff easy.
Or, at least it seemed so.
But, somehow, I absorbed my times tables there.
And I was reading real books by then.
So, yeah.

And may I sidetrack for a second to say, man, I loved the 80's.
I mean, yeah, Reagan was an idjit, and there was all that threat of nuclear armageddon shit in the media, and the economic class my dad belonged to got reamed up the asshole with a spinning corkscrew...but as a kid, it was a blast. He-Man, Voltron, Transformers, Garbage Pail Kids, Madballs, Weird Al, it was happy times.
Did a little skit about it.

Anyway, I'm in Mr. walkers class for 4th and 5th grades, then, Mr. Walker gets fired, and we get Ms. Tinkham.
Ugh, what a witch.
I can't even find it in me to think to myself in hindsight that she meant well. She was just awful.
Did not know how to handle us kids.
Out of her depth. I think they sent her to us as a punishment for being a fuckup somewhere else.
I could write tons of stories, but this is the summarized version, so let's not linger any more here.

So, anyway, I think Tinkham is bad, but then, I find out I'm going to Sweetser.
Sweetser was/is a special ed school where kids who were really fucked up went to LIVE.
They threatened you with that fucking place in the regular classes.
"Keep fucking up, they'll send you to SWEETSER!!".
"Finish your geography map, or you'll go to SWEETSER!!".
So, I saw the Sweetser pamphlet on the table when I came home one day, and started to bawl.
But, I learned I was just going there for school, not to live there, and that...took the edge off, but it was still humiliating.

So, thus began the Sweetser years.

Saw a lot of familiar faces there.

And more joined me after Tinkham was finally fired.

Mark Logan, who was my best buddy on the bus, and who later joined me in Tinkham's class, came to Sweetser, and told me this awesome story that I always dearly wished was true.

He said that one of the kids was sick, and puking all over the place, so they got a bucket for him to puke into, and while he was puking in the bucket, Tinkham went to clean up the puddle on the floor, and she slipped, fell, pulled the bucket down on herself, and then puked all over herself even more, and then swore her everliving head off, and the teacher in the next room heard all the swearing, and squealed, and that's how she got fired.

That sounds too good to be true, maybe Mark made that up to make me feel good.
Fuck it, I choose to believe it.

Well, anyway, as everywhere, I did a lot of cartoons to keep me sane at Sweetser.
And, it was here that I created Harry Hembock.

So, it wasn't a total loss.

But, it wasn't too bad, really, for the most part.
I mastered multiplication, and moved on to division, my vocabulary and spelling got better, I got to use computers, my first teacher there, Mrs. Benham was really cool, she was an anglophile, and thus a big British history buff, and I learned a lot about that.

Then, Mrs. Benham got replaced with Mrs. didn't like her, she wasn't awful..but..ehh..
Another one of these shoulder pad wearing, short hair, athletic, sporty, 80's chicks.
And I'd grown to distrust that type after Ms. Tinkham.
We never hit it off.
Don't think I got over my superstition against that kind of women until I saw Nana Visitor on DS9.
My mind is just a fuckin' mess, ain't it?

Well, it felt like a normal school most times, but, there was that creepy special ed/prison side to it.

I was mostly protected from it.
But, every now and then, you'd see some teenager get wrestled own, and locked up in the "time out room".
And a girl got raped on the grounds once.
They did a lot to hush that mess up, but the rumor mill there was second to none.

Oh, and my asthma started up there, so there was surely some constant stress in the air.
In retrospect, my first attack was set off by a fit of suppressed boiling rage-a-hol at another student.

Wyeeell, just before I got out of there, I experienced the creepy side full on, got put with the really traumatized/messed up kids.
Poor bastids.
Ever see "A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors"? Kinda like that.
Probably why I dig that movie so much, I relate to it.

Well, finally, after 3 years, they randomly must've decided I was "cured", and off to normal high school they sent me.

What a fucking disaster.
Oh, it wasn't a crashing disaster.
No one ever beat me up, or shit in my locker, I think I was fairly well liked.
My jokes and cartoons helped me carve out my niche.
But, after Sweetser, my self esteem was scarred, I avoided people, chicks didn't like me, I never had a date the whole time there, I didn't have any actual friends 'til senior year, and I slacked off with Harry comics, and skated by on Cs & Ds.
I excelled in film history though.
Only class I got a high B in ever.
Would've been an A, but one sloppy answer on one test dragged me down.
Dad mocked it as "TV watching class", but fuck, the A student nerds in there had a hard time with it....

I'm a movie nut, I toyed with the idea of being a film critic for awhile, but...forget that mess, that field is full of horrible lemon pussed bitter little poseurs.
Gen-x only churned out more of the rotten little shits.
Yeah, I ain't gotta be like them, but I don't wanna be Atlas holding that particular fucking globe up, thanks.

Anyway, did a skit about high school, once, goes like this.

Oh, yeah, and I found out second-hand in my sophomore year that my old friend, Mark Logan died. :(
Heart attack of all things.
A 16 year old with a heart attack, never heard of such a thing...

Oh, and Tony Terroni, another friend from Sweetser died of a drug overdose.

Hmm, dunno why I thought to include those...

So, anyway, eventually, I graduated.

Hung out with my senior year buddies, Hyla and Spencer for a couple years.
That was great. They taught me a lot about alternative comics, and novels, and we watched a lot of cult films together. Grew a lot from that.
But, they drifted away.
Last I heard of 'em, I did a Google search, and they had a Myspace page, and they're wandering cartoonists out in Seattle.
Then, the Myspace page vanished.
Ah, well.
If you guys are out there *waves* hey.

Had a bunch of shitty little jobs, and I can tell stories about all them, but that's for another chapter.

Anyway, that's when we creep up on 1996, and the internet, and you all know the rest.

EDIT- Added link to the work stories.
Read More......

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Harry Hembock minisode #0

Does Anyone Remember Harry Hembock?
(Thanks to Tamar for the title)

Hembug grinned and silently chuckled as Helen carried Harry's scrawny frame over the threshold.

"Open Arms", by Journey blared on the radio.
Hembug snapped it off once the door closed behind them.

Harry was finally happy.
Quite a big change, Hembug thought.

From the rough days.....

...the post-Deathgrasp, pre-9/11 days...

...the drinking days...

..the days of malfunctioning gizmos, their long-lost disagreeable sidekick, The Spruce, and of the Dark Overlord Abmuloc... Read More......

Friday, July 11, 2008

New header graphic.

Nice, ha? :) Read More......

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Harry Hembock minisode #2!!

Mmm, baby, these things scan in nice and quick, what say I do another one?
Quick bit of important continuity.
This is a golden oldie, but it does as good a job of re-introducing Spruce to the "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", continuity as it did to introduce him to the old comics continuity. So, why not recycle it, eh?
Enjoy. Today's a two-fer.

Harry Hemlock's Pinaceae.
(Thanks to Tamar for the title)

Read More......

Harry Hembock minisode #1!!

It's up!! The one promised here.
And at 2 pages, it's not quite so mini.:P
Ah, well, it's the premiere, I'll forgive myself.

Thanks to Jonathan/Quetz for the idea of what Harry's gadget does.

Lol, lotta dialogue to cram in, and my monkey-mitts don't write so good.
Also why it wouldn't squeeze onto one page.
Well, the upcoming ones will hopefully be more action/illustration heavy.
As I said, this was a prototype episode.
I'm still a bit rusty.
It'll evolve.

Hallelujah! - It's Raining Acumen!
(Thanks to Tamar for the title)

Read More......

'Nother minor update.

Added recent comments.

Grow, my little blog! Groooow!!! Read More......

More cartoons.

I mentioned before I mastered facial expressions making goofy faces in the mirror.
Sometimes whole characters, or skits came to me in this manner.
This is one such skit.
It makes no goddamned sense. But, I like the story it implies.

This one randomly stumbled together while sketching. I started randomly drawing the sandwich to try my hand at food textures, then I needed a guy to be holding the sandwich, and it spun off from there, and became a weird Iggy sequel.
Well, once I had two weird Iggy cartoons, I had a pattern going, so here's part three.
Iggy, the human enigma.
What the hell is going on in his world?

Okay, this one is just...yeah...
I like it though.
I can't really explain why.
For some reason, the reaction of the flower and the sun together just make this for me.
And yes, Iggy pooped on that man's lawn, that's him pulling up his britches back there.
A lot of people don't get that for some reason, so I'm constantly having to point it out.
Yes, I did talking poop before South Park.
I'm proud of that.
I prefer Billy's calm personality over Mr. Hanky's cloying and grating antics.
Anyone can make a turd obnoxious. That's easy.
A sage and subtle turd, that takes restraint and sophistication.
John Waters beat me to coprophagia though.
Although, he'd be the first to admit babies and dogs beat him to it, so.....

Read More......

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Minor update.

Went back through, and added labels.
So, now things'll be easier to navigate.

Added a label links list.
Didn't know they had that 'til I saw it on another blog just now.
Sweet. Read More......

An experiment for Harry Hembock Minisode #1.

Okay, I just now decided, I want to alternate between written and cartoon episodes.

To shake the rust off, I doodled out some test Harrys, and then scribbled out some panels for a prototype episode I never planned to see the light of day.

BUT, I like where it's going, and I like how the characters are already interacting, so I think I'll keep it going.

BUT, I'm already blocked on the plot.

BUT, I figure you, the audience, can help.

Okay this is what I've got so far....

(Harry walks in holding a nondescript black box with a circle on the front with a pie wedge grid on it)

Harry- Hey, Spruce, I just built another craptacular invention!!

Spruce- What does this one do? Scramble people's DNA? Compress matter into deadly Neutronium? Masturbate owls? It's always something horrible.

Harry- Yes, yes it is. (closes eyes, raises eyebrows, bucks teeth, sticks out tongue) Aheur!

Spruce- .......

Harry- (Still with goofy face on) .....

Spruce- (Waves hand in a flourish) Well!?!?

So, kids, what should the gadget do?

To avoid repeat ideas, (and to show why I'm stuck) previous inventions have been...

The DNA wand- A helix shaped staff that can change any lifeform into any other lifeform.

Shrink/growth ray- Used superstring frequencies to "blueshift", matter smaller. Maximum reverse nullified the frequency, and thus erased matter. Our heroes died a comical cartoon (and thus magically temporary) death.

The abrupter- Folded time so that our heroes could get a peek at the last panel of the comic. It was always something horrible, and they were always trapped into it being their destiny.

Re-animation ray- With a process never described, could bring back the dead in a state of perfect rejuvination.
Could even restore animals from buchered meat. Harry ran amuck with it, and the earth became overpopulated wit the dead. He hit reverse, and the landscape was choked with corpses. Like a typical cartoon, this problem was never resolved on page, and ignored by the next episode.

Teleporter- Total rip off of a Trek teleporter.

Temporal upgrade to teleporter- By splicing the teleport with a neutrino-net radio (see Zone Dweebies) the beam could send Harry back in time to right wrongs in his past. This only had the effect of creating a tangeant timeline that only a duplicate of himself could live in and appreciate. Abandoned by the "real", Harry as depressingly worthless.

The cathode replicator- Through some severe modifications, the teleport was rigged to beam the electrons off of a TV picture tube, and assemble the image into a temporary pseudo-matter that could last up to an hour before dissolving. Our heroes had fun interacting with objects and people from TV for awhile, but then an ethics commitee made it illegal, seeing how they were essentially creating and destroying intelligent lifeforms.

Robot sex slave- Exactly as it sounds. A chrome plated robot woman you could have sex with, and then fold away into a wallet sized wafer. It turned out that exposure to fluids, or even just rough enough pelvic thrusting would cause them to short out, combust, or even occasionally explode into a mushroom cloud. Harry was last seen this episode personally handing out refunds to every man on the planet from a mountain of money behind him.

Pea powered clock- Similar to a potato powered clock, but with a pea. The oversized clock taxed the poor pea's lifeforce, killing the poor unfortunate soul. Harry had a tiny little funeral, and was scarred for life.

A lava lamp that tells the future- The lava morphed into the words "you're going to die", Spruce shattered it.

The sneezo helmet- A helmet for holding your eyes open when you sneeze. Also had a dangling pepper shaker to cause the sneeze. Harry had the theory that your eyes close during a sneeze to prevent you from seeing the alternate dimension you snap into for a split second. It worked. Harry ended up in the universe where all the snot in the world comes from. He was overjoyed. Spruce tried the helmet, and merely sneezed his eyeballs out.

Universe generator- Harry went back in time, and created our universe with matter from his extracted wisdom tooth.

Omneron- World's first and smartest computer sentience. ..nothing ever really went wrong with Omneron.
Except the time he was cathode replicated into a human being, and sexual jealousy drove him psychotic.
Restoring him into an emotionless program seemed to fix things though.

Synapse fuser- A gun that could scramble the neurons of the victim into a tangled myalin-less short circuiting mess.
This horrible weapon never got to be tested fortunately.

..hmph, that's all I can remember...but see why I'm stuck? I've used a lot of the good ones... Read More......

The cartoons.

Well, people have been inquiring, and that's what I get for putting "aspiring cartoonist", in my profile.
So, here's a sample of what I've got.
I'm not that great, but I enjoy drawing, and I practiced my ass off to get even as good as I ever got.
Used to have the ambition to be a real cartoonist, but, sadly, I never got good enough to get published.
Ah, well...

Anway, here's the stuff..

Below is a sample episode of Harry Hembock.
The art could be better, and is in some of them, but I happen to think this is one of the funnier ones.

This picture of a wackaloon being hauled off to the funny farm retroactivly became Krazyfool to me, and is referenced at the end of "The Krazyfool show", as his production logo.

This one popped into my head listening to thick southern accents on Jerry Springer.
I like how the charcoal on the burnt guy's head came out.

I drew this to mock Josh Martin on J-world. But, one can, and I have, use it to mock any snobby eletist.
Ah, heck, I've used it on myself a couple times.

Alright, I admit, this makes no goddamned sense at all, but I really like how the art came out.
And I'll blow my own horn here, I've really mastered over the top facial expressions.
I mean, look at all of 'em.
That didn't fall from the sky, I practiced in the mirror with my own goofy rubbery face for ages.
That's one aspect I'm proud of.
I've got weird faces nailed.

Read More......

Monday, July 7, 2008

History of the internet part 1.

Ah, now, where did it all begin?

Well, let's start with my very first computer.
It was an ACER 486SX (later upgraded to a DX).
It was a graduation present, and the year was 1993.

It had no internet capability, no CD-ROM at the time, so, all I could do was draw, write, and play solitaire.

The first thing I did...well, the first thing I did was draw a lot of shitty graphics that I didn't save.

BUT, the first thing I did that lasted, was write "Harry Hembock, and the Zone Dweebies".
I think that took until 1994-95 to finish.
Came in slow trickles.
It was the longest thing I'd written up 'til then.

Think I finally got a CD-ROM for the hunka-junk somewhere around then.
My favorite game was King's Quest 6. first foray unto the internet was with a cheesey-ass serial port external 1220 modem I bought from a co-worker for 10 bucks, and a free trial subscription to AO-Hell (which ended up costing me 200 bucks in phone fees, pricks).

So, my first "boards", were those AOL forums they locked you into.

So, all that shit's lost to history.
No bother, it wasn't very good.

But, after that whole mess with AO-Hell was behind me, it lit a fire under me to get a proper 56k modem, and explore the real fucking internet.

This brings me up to 1996-1997, and Jason's World.
Here I met Billdude, Wubb, *Legion*, Josh Martin, Mike, Ryan, and KC...some numbers.
Our usual goings on there were well, like the J-World drinking game.
It was there that I wrote all of my posts from the good old days.
I posted there as Krazyfool.
It was a random name I chose from the mists of my memory.
Way back, when I used to hang out with "Nick", from "the serious drawer", story, he had an Apple IIC that I played games on, and one of them was a crummy old Dungeons & Dragons game, and I put a bunch of goofy-ass names in for my character, and for some reason, the one that made "Nick", roar with freakin' laughter was "Crazy Fool".
So, that burnt it into my memory, and that's what I picked at J-World, and it stuck.

Oh, '97 is also when I got the computer I'm still using now.
Lest you think I'm still on the old 456 shitbox.
That went to the junkyard ages ago.
Long since gotten high speed internet too, thankyouverymuch. :P

So, yadda, yadda, yadda, I hung out there for years, the gang moved to several iterations of the board, and we still called it J-World, even though Jason moved on and vanished from the face of the earth years prior; and somewhere along the line, I wrote "The Krazyfool Show", as my biggest skit up until then, and I almost immediately relabled it a story.

Then, a little later down the line, I started my own Geoshitties account, cuz that was the fashion at the time, and I created Krazyfool's Den Of Delusion.

Now, this goes on until about 2000, where I stumbled onto TrekBBS, the message board componant of TrekToday.
J-World was fun, but I needed to feed my geek fix.

It was there, that I would start posting as Diacanu, and where my life would start to change.

I gravitated towards the more free-speechy casual un-moderated section, called "The Neutral Zone", what we called TNZ for short.
It was here I met my friend Margaret, whose site is in my links section.
Course, we were just aquaintences back in the TNZ days.

I struggle to remember the details, and the timeline, but eventually, TNZ got to be too hot to handle for the admins, so they began a concerted effort to drive us off.
It worked, us TNZers took up stakes, and created our own board.
I'll just call this board WF.
Well, I hung out at WF for several years.
I may yet return someday.
I'm on extended sabattical for awhile.

Anyway, during the WF years, I churned out all the stories up to now, minus Krazyfool.

Also, and this is the life changing part, I started talking to, and befriended, Margaret.
It's through her I got hooked up with Jack Donner's stuff and why his site is in my links.
It's through working his techniques, and talking them out with Margaret and Jack that I'm all properly headshrunk now. :)
The process cured my asthma too, which apparently was stress induced.
So, yay. :D

Anyway, during the Diacanu/WF years, everyone at J-World but Billdude and Wubb drifted away.
I still keep in touch with them.

Then, about last year I guess, is when I discovered the book "The God Delusion", which kicked me off the Deist/Agnostic fence into Atheism, and led me to Richard

Yadda yadda, started posting there, then I started this blog, and you know the rest, and here we are.

So, that's all that.
Read More......

The good old days.

Here's a little walk down memory lane.

Thanks to Billdude for saving these.

Some lovely recipes.

The Jason's World drinking game.
(The first board I ever posted on. The game rules give a good summary of what it was like)

Forced confession of $Legion$.

Parody of a board spambot pimping Twisted Metal 4.

Wubb is stupid.

Network54 admins irk me.

The boycott of Ryan's board didn't go well. I pile sarcasm past the overflow mark.

Not by me, by Pheemp. Ah, I miss the lad...

Ally McBeal was not one of my favorite shows.

I did not enjoy high school.

A naive younger version of myself describes the political parties.

Updates from my older self.
An additional update.

My thoughts on so-called cowboys.

Football games. A parody of a pretentious post.
(Disturbingly, some of this stuff came to pass)

This $Legion$ person would upset me often. This was one of those times.

My thoughts on pizza.

I find Kevin Smith to be an overrated writer and director.

My advice for graduates.

I did not like grunge fashion and culture, and I do not miss the 90's.

Goatse repulsed me.

The loss of Napster upset me.


Krazyfool dies. Children weep.

Dengar rant.

I succinctly assess the state of the entertainment media machine.

A rant about Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula spirals off into an indictment of Hollywood.

I remember the 80's.

And now, from my own archives...

The Serious Drawer.

Little red cars.

The biggest bummy in the world.

The trailer for Citizen Kane 2.

I'm amazed this movie wasn't made. Ricky Martin was insanely popular for a whole week.

How to write your own great book of western literature.

What I like to call "the crow dream".

Another dream I had.

The Batman dream.

Homophobia, just say no, kids.

Romance literature for a very narrow specialty niche market.

Your daily dose of peer pressure.

The day I came out as a lesbian.

My stab at a spam/chain letter.

My favorite magazine.

New rules for going to the movies. OBEY!!

I make fun of fitness freaks for some random inexplicable reason.

I take a stab at a get-rich-quick scam spam.

I find Ralph Bakshi to be an overrated animator.

El Flatulato's theme song.
(It's terrible! Enjoy! )

The Teddy Ruxpin sketch.
(Topical shit, eh?)

I take a stab at motivational speaking.

My stance on cannibalism.
(And what a bold stand it is)

I turn a critical eye towards fudge.

A story that went nowhere. But, what more needs to be said?

Read More......

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Who IS Harry Hembock??

Harry Hembock is my Mickey Mouse, my Spider-Man.

He's the star and/or cameo player in virtually all of my fiction.

I created him back in 1989 in a random fit of alliteration.
He was a character who got beaten, crushed, mutilated, but still won the day by perservering.
Sort of like Tom, from Tom & Jerry, but with the more noble motivations of a Bugs Bunny.
Thus, the title of his first primitive adventure was "The Adventures Of Harry Hembock, Hurt Hero!".

Over the years, my writing slowly got more sophisticated, and the character's tribulations became more symbolic and emotional than literally physical, and the "Hurt Hero", dropped away in the early 90's.

By the late 90's, he evolved into an actually competent superhero, but with a mad scientist bent to his modus operandi.
Sort of a Batman, but with a more jacked up Mr. Spock level IQ.

But, the series got bogged down with technobabble (much like Trek at the time) and in combination with real life getting in the way, I drifted away from my art/writing, and Harry fell by the wayside.

Then, I discovered this kooky internet thing, and I gradually got back into my writing again, and as I did, Harry snuck out of the little box in the attic in my mind I had him packed away in.

"Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", marks the rebooting of the Harry Hembock series of stories/cartoons.
I combined the best elements of his origin story and overall mythos, and in so doing, merged the mad scientist, superhero, and put apon victim sides of the character in what I think is an audience pleasing way.

You'd barely be able to tell it was a story that took 15 years of refining on the original pass. :P

So, check out "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", I consider it not only to be my best story to date, but I truly believe it to be superior to the Wil Smith film "Hancock", which bears striking resemblences to my story, but I wrote mine first, and again, mine's better.
Grounds for a lawsuit? Fuck it, the schadenfreude of it being a critical flop, and box office dissapointment is enough to warm my heart. *Evil grin*

Oh, and thirdly, you'll want to be all caught up for the upcoming sequel "Everybody Still Hates Harry Hembock", and the following blog exclusive minisodes, which will serve as an infinite bridge between Harry 1 & 2.

Fourthly, y'know *wink, wink, nudge* if you like "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", check out the stories that led up to it, that are now retroactively sequels within the same universe, some of which cameo Harry.

And, for more detail on the evolution of the Harry Hembock storyline, check these links...

History of the Harryverse- Part 1, part 2.

*Waits for everyone to read everything, taps foot, looks at watch*
All caught up now? Good.
Let's proceed....
Read More......

Today's stuff.

Tinkered with my profile, tinkered with the header, added a link section with the first link, Zarbi's Journal, buddy of mine from Richard

Might put up a pic if I can find one that ain't too ugly.
If I can't, then I might just go with a scanned doodle of Harry Hembock to confuse people even more.

Anyway, this thing is slowly starting to actually look like a blog.
Freaky, huh?
What if this thing became like, y'know, REAL??

Well, that's about it.
Time to hit send.

EDIT- continuing to add new links. Read More......

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Coming soon to Shmegalamonga...

....exclusive Harry Hembock minisodes!!

Watch this space!! Read More......

Friday, July 4, 2008

Oh, for crying out loud!!

Lol! I just did a search to see if Shmegalamonga was out on Google yet, and someone else has a link to "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock".


Well, he gave me credit anyway.
A shame the link is dead, cuz I took Harry down, cuz it posted too long, and ate up the whole page.

The guy's got no contact info, so I can't ask him if he liked it, or what.

Damn, I only had it up for an hour or so, wonder how he stumbled onto it.

Well, Pigmig, whoever you are, hope Harry brought you some entertainment value, and that you weren't posting it as snarky mockery or something.

Well, my e-mail is in my profile now, so if folks stumble apon my shit, they can get ahold of me.

Dayum, my crummy little blog has already been noticed by someone.

Oh, BTW, Harry, along with the sequels/prequels can be read in the previous post HERE. Read More......

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