Friday, October 20, 2017

I don't h8 the 90's anymore (Part 2.5).

As I said at the very end of this one...

Someday, I might do an update on the honorable mentions.

So, I've finally come back around to do that.
Here we go....

(Year of the Florida trip!!)

Quick Change

Bill Murray robs a bank, Geena Davis and Randy Quaid are his accomplices, and every stroke of bad luck possible prevents them from escaping town.
Hi-jinks...well, it's all hi-jinks.
Fun little flick.
High tomato rating despite Ebert giving it  a"meh".
Among Murray's best.
Check it out.

Spirit Of '76

Time travelers try to go back to the founding of America to figure out where they went wrong, but screw up, and go to the bicentennial in 1976.
Hi-jinks and 70's star cameos ensue.
Stupid as Hell, and made on a Monkees episode budget.
I'll spoil it, because the plot isn't the point anyway, the time travelers refuel their time machine with the active ingredient in Visine which 70's pot heads have in abundance.
Why was this on my list?
Damned if I know.
I think it's because the end credits song burnt into my head forever.
Showtime playing the Hell out of it didn't help.
And Youtube won't cough it up, so I can't share the joy.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

I tracked this down after Alan Rickman died.
Needed to see something from him I hadn't seen.
Lovely little film.
Really sweet and tear-jerky.
More so after his passing.
The poster compares it to "Ghost", and yeah, this blows that away.
No special effects, no bad guys, no wacky side-character hi-jinks.
They don't even hold your hand, and explicitly tell you it's actually supernatural or not.
It's all about human feeling.
Good stuff.
I don't get to recommend a lot of these.



I could have SWORN I did this one in "Fantasy flicks", but nope.

Millennials love this one more than I ever did, because it's their childhood nostalgia now, and I can see that. If I can love friggin "Popeye", then I can totally get that.

Alas, dear Robin Williams.
His whole filmography glimmers with nostalgia now, doesn't it?

Critics hated it, but it's beloved by a strong fandom.
I dig it all right.
Is it perfect? Oh, Hell no.
But compared to a lot of the failed swill that's come out under the banner of the Peter Pan property (even recently), this stands among the better ones.
The Disney animated movie, the Fox animated series, and this.
And "Finding Neverland".
The rest is poopy.

Blood & Concrete: A Love Story

I remember this having surf music for the opening theme song long before "Pulp Fiction", ever did.
Tarantino ripped off absolutely everything.

Cinemax played the shit out of this.
All I can remember anymore is that there was a bad guy that wanted to anally rape Billy Zane, and it was played for jolly laughs.
No wonder Hollywood is fucked up about sexual assault.

Bernard and the Genie

Oh, no way! Alan Cumming was Bernard?
He wasn't famous yet, so it never clicked!
A&E played this back when they were still classy.

Another cute little film.
Let's just say it's the better genie film (by far!!) than "Kazaam".


An anthology of three terrible short films.
One about a little boy that kills his abusive dad, and then flies away.
One about a 50's mad scientist that drinks testicle squeezings, and becomes a monster (mocking 50's conservative sexual puritanism, I guess).
One about a guy in prison who gets raped.

Yep, another anal rape special brought to my eyeballs by Cinemax.
At least "Blood & Concrete", wasn't obnoxiously pretentious about it the way this was.

Cinemax would sneak this into the softcore porn to ruin my nights.
In hindsight, I probably should have been dating instead.
Too bad I had no self-esteem.
When you have no confidence, you're stuck at home being brain-molested by sadistic cable programmers.
Learn from me, children, learn from me.

Anyway, I don't recommend this at all, but I sure remember it.

Naked Gun 2 1/2

The "Empire Strikes Back", of the Naked Gun trilogy.
One was good, this was better, three was ass.

I have no plot description, because the plot is just a weak contrivance to justify wacky shit happening for 90 minutes.
That's what these movies are for.
To see crazy zany goofy shit.
To antidote your brain from real life.
And movies like "Poison".

The Guyver

Based on an anime.
About a guy that finds an alien gizmo that turns him into a biological Iron Man.
The background mythology to this is, aliens have been tinkering with human DNA for centuries, and werewolf mythology comes from the hybrid monsters the aliens made.
The Guyver is the ultimate evolution of this tech, and it essentially turns you into a were-robot.
So, The Guyver fights the animal were-monster thingies.
It's basically PG-13 rated Power Rangers.
Mark Hamill is one of the bad guys.
This was just before his career was defibrillated back to life by becoming the animated Joker.
Jimmy Walker is a villain too.
In the movie as well. ;-)

It's a fun watch.
It's not brain food, it's total junkfood, but it's tasty junkfood.
Given the reception of the live-action "Ghost In The Shell", and "Death Note", this ironically is probably the best live-action anime adaptation.

What About Bob?

Another Bill Murray classic.
This is right up there with "Ghostbusters", "Scrooged", and "Groundhog Day".
Next tier down would be "Stripes", "Meatballs", "Caddyshack", and "Quick Change".

Boyz N The Hood

The best of the late-80's & early-mid 90's gang movies, hands down.
One of those ones that needs to be homework in schools.

The Fisher King

Again, alas Robin Williams.

And alas Terry Gilliam! Where the fuck is he??!?!
He keeps punching his bloodied fists at the brick wall of that fucking Don Quixote movie decade after decade.
He's not letting that one go!!

Anyway, I agree with the critic blurb on the poster for a change.


The Lawnmower Man

I left this out of the Stephen King thing, because it's so heavily adapted, it retains not a single trace of the original story whatsoever.
Well, there's literally one line, but I refuse to let that count.
That's like adding "call me Ishmael", to "Charlies Angels", and saying it's fucking "Moby Dick".
We're not going down that rabbit hole of madness.

Delete it from Stephen King canon, and ignore the title, and you're good to go, because this is still a fun little remake of "Flowers For Algernon".

Or, you could look at it as a dark "Tron", sequel too.

Should have been called just "Virtual Reality".
No other true VR movie had been made, and the title was totally up for grabs.
They could have been the first.
They could have staked the claim.
But, they thought audiences were stupid, and sold them on Stephen King instead.


Fear Of A Black Hat

"This Is Spinal Tap", for rap.

Showtime played the shit out of this.
It's pretty funny.
Not considered a classic by any means, but I think you should give it a spin.


Like I said in the original pass, sue me.

It's not one of the greatest SNL movies, and it's not among Dan Aykroyd's classics, but I thought it was cute.
But...I fucking like "Howard The Duck", so what do I know?

It faithfully adapts the skits.
You can't deny that.
There was a rarely shown animated special of Coneheads in the 80's, and this lifts the story from that lock stock and barrel, so Aykroyd is a nut for saving stuff.
As much as I am for Harry Hembock.
He will not let an idea go to waste.
Like me and Harry Hembock.

Howard Stern despises this.
This is his go to movie for comparing bad movies to other bad movies.

The thing I find weird is how this even got made.
The popularity of the skit was long past.
All I can think is, Aykroyd was to this flick, like Terry Gilliam is to Don Quixote.

But unlike Gilliam (so far) Aykroyd got his passion project made.
Never get between Dan Aykroyd, and something he wants to get done.
Unless your name is Bill Murray.
Bill Murray is the immovable object that can cancel the unstoppable force.

*Googles* holy shit, Youtube has the animated special!
And it's exactly 10 years before the live-action one!


Natural Born Killers

My old review for this is only 2 sentences long.

"Ahhh, finally another good movie.
They were spaced so far apart".

Yeah, the list I was using from the "I Love The 90's", VH-1 specials was a bunch of wretched horrible shit.
Way to misrepresent the decade, fuckheads.
I've finally had to do this whole giant thing to undo the damage.

Showtime played the shit out of this, and I watched it every single fucking time.
I really loved it. as much.
I still get a kick out of the Rodney Dangerfield scenes.
That's the only part you should even watch.
That's some good dark social satire.
Everything else has aged badly as pretentious polemic bullshit.
Oliver Stone can go fuck himself.
Sideways, without lube.

Cabin Boy

Another one from 90's Showtime I adored.
Hey, if you think there's another better "Seven Voyages Of Sinbad", spoof out there, then present it.
Aaaalll RIGHT then!

The first and last Chris Elliot led movie.
(See "Get a Life", for his first and best show)

Projection Booth did a whole two and a half hour episode on it, and I can't say much more than they did. Hey, I said it before, they're fucking thorough.

Quiz Show

About the crooked quiz show scandals of the 50's.

I watched this one every single time it was on Showtime.

It's really good, except for Rob Morrow's shitty Boston accent.
It takes an act of will for it not to take you right out of the movie.

Ralph Fiennes and John Turturrow are so great though, it antidotes him.

Highly recommended.

The Hudsucker Proxy

This was after "Barton Fink", but before "Fargo".

Critics and film snobs loved the Coens, but they were just about to explode into the mainstream with their masterpiece.

This is not that.
It's good though.
But then Sam Raimi was the third writer on this.
When you know that going in, you can see his touches all over it.


The original with Ego and Ultron as good guys.

See here for the show.

Who knew this would explode into a franchise?
Actually, Sci-Fi Universe did.
Although, they thought the movies would at least be a trilogy, and that the first one was gonna go over as big as Star Wars.
Didn't exactly pan out that way, but it is well remembered, and generated a lot of content.

"Independence Day", was actually supposed to be a "Stargate", sequel at one point.

Whatever happened to Jaye Davidson?
"The Crying Game", this, and then poof.

And, that's 20 flicks, and I'm done!
Next time, the other 20!!
See you then!

Read More......

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

I don't h8 the 90's anymore (Part 1.5).

Looking back at the animation one, I sloppily rushed over a lot of stuff before slowing down at the very end to talk about topics more.
So, I thought I'd correct that a bit.
Here we go....

King Of The Hill/Beavis & Butt-Head

"King Of The Hill", confuses me.
I could never figure out what political side it comes down on, therefore what political side Mike Judge comes down on, therefore what the message was, therefore what the point was.

And we're invited to want to know what the fucking point is from his films, goddammit.

I know from B&B, and "Idiocracy", he hates stupid people, and the idiots he hates are typically what one thinks of as the Republican base.

But KotH, he has Hank solve problems and save the day with his stuffy conservative values, but he's only ever "the good guy", because the forces he's in opposition to are straw-man versions of thuggish PC liberalism, or progressive permissiveness run amuck.

So...he shows Hank and his community as uptight and repressed, but he's sympathetic to them, because in KotH world, liberals are always worse.

But then his third show (that bombed) "The Goode Family", the main characters are PC liberals, and they're all hypocritical, and dumb, and Gerald Goode is effeminate, and has the Van Driessen voice from B&B.
So, they're figures of ridicule, rather than the steady and dependable hero Hank is held up as.

So, is Judge conservative, and hates liberals, or does he hate everybody equally, or just think everyone's ridiculous, or what?

But if everyone's ridiculous, why make Hank a hero for 13 fuckin' years?

I could never figure out what the show was fuckin' about.
Could anyone?
Does anyone have the secret decoder wheel?
Or, like B&B, was it just a bunch of stuff that happened, and then ended?

Anyway, Tom Petty played Lucky.
I had no segway to this, so I just dropped it in.
Like Lucky himself.

Peter Pan & The Pirates (1990-1991)

Fucking Tim Curry, man!!
Fucking Tim Curry!!

That's all you need.
All you need to know is fucking Tim Curry played Captain Hook in this, and you should be scrambling, and tripping over furniture, and hurting yourself to watch this.

Tiny Toon Adventures/Animaniacs/
Pinky And The Brain/Freakazoid

Or, the Rob Paulson animated universe.

Rob Paulson has a podcast.

Rob Paulson was on Gilbert Gottfried's podcast.
(This one alone will give you everything you ever wanted to know about the dude)

And, Rob Paulson was on Saturday Morning Rewind.
(A cartoon nostalgia podcast)

Feast! Enjoy!

Toxic Crusaders (1991-1993)

Lloyd Kaufman saw it and the comic book as his chance into mainstream awareness and success, and it sadly didn't pan out.
It was up against Ninja Turtles, no one was taking down that juggernaut.
Poor Lloyd, always with mainstream fame dangling right out of his reach by torturous centimeters.
I know how he feels.

Anyway, here's a Toxic Avenger Garbage Pail Kid.

It's no Marvel movie, but its more of a mark than I'll probably leave on the world.

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes (1990)

I found the VHSes of the first two movies (the only ones that existed at the time) at a stock clearance sale at Nicely's.
The tomatoes movies, and Toxic Avenger were among my first tapes I owned for myself.
I was off to a good start.
So, it was really wild to see both of these become cartoon shows.

Here's the quickie rundown of the movies before I can get to what the cartoon was about.

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes (1978)-
All the tomatoes on Earth go bad, and attack and eat people.
Like "The Birds", but with tomatoes.
Some of them grow to giant proportions.
Good guys beat them by playing a terrible pop song.
Based on the flakey hippie belief born in the 70's that plants like music.
The tomatoes are just real tomatoes (except the giant one which is some cloth and chicken wire parade float concoction).
Pretty funny, put part 2 is way better.

Return Of The Killer Tomatoes (1988)-
John Astin plays Dr. Gangrene, who we retroactively find out was responsible for the events in the first movie.
His new plot is using nuclear waste and different music to morph tomatoes into human replicas.
George Clooney played the wacky good-guy sidekick.
It was his first movie.
He's ashamed of it.
The main good-guy who isn't George Clooney falls in love with a tomato girl.
Hi-jinks ensue.
This is the funniest of all of them.
Lot of fourth wall breaking, like Deadpool.

Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! (1990)-
Okay, I didn't know this one existed until a few years ago.
Here's what happened.
In an after credits scene of the second movie, they half-jokingly hinted at a sequel called "Killer Tomatoes Eat France".
Then they made this one.
Then they actually made "Killer Tomatoes Eat France", one year later!!
"Eat France", came to Nicely's, but not this one.
Naturally, I assumed "Eat France", was part three!
Wouldn't you!?!?
Anyway, this one is terrible.
Its got Dr. Gangrene back, and this time, the tomatoes are Muppets with faces, but generic characters, not the characters from the cartoon.
All the jokes fall flat, none of the magic is there.
Probably the worst of the four.

Killer Tomatoes Eat France! (1991)-
So then they finally really made this one.
Better than part 3, but still pretty weak.
Gangrene is back again, but this time, the Muppet-Tomatoes are the characters from the cartoon (and toys, and the NES game).
Total cash in on the fad.
The good-guy is the guy who played Skippy on "Family Ties".
This becomes a running gag of everyone breaking the fourth wall, and calling him Skippy.

So, finally, we get to...

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes (1990)-

It's based on "Return Of The Killer Tomatoes", but the good-guy from the movie is a 9 year old for some reason, and his relationship to Tomato Girl is platonic.
John Astin voices Gangrene, and his henchmen are the tomatoes from "Eat France".

Oh, and a running character from all 4 movies and this show is Arthur Finletter, a paratrooper who never takes his opened chute off, and carries it around with him like a cape, and keeps tripping on it.
This joke became tiresome in the first movie, but they keep going back to it.
His sidekick is a fat black dude dressed up like the Lone Ranger.
He's supposed to be a master of disguise, and impressions, but he's terrible.
The stupid bad guys fall for his disguises/impressions anyway.

I wish more cult underground shit had been cartooned...

Eraserhead, the animated series!
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, the animated series!
Hell Goes To Frogtown, the animated series!
Cherry 2000, the animated series!
Pink Flamingos the animated series!!!!!

The possibilities are infinite!!

The Disney Afternoon (1990-1997)

I could talk about this all day* but Nostalgia Critic already said it all.
(*and besides, I just did that for Killer Tomatoes)

So, here's the link to his thing.


People forget, this was actually really fucking popular.
This actually kicked Batman's ass for its final seasons.

You'd never know it now.
People still talk about Batman:TAS, not this so much.

Ren & Stimpy

How could I have not ranted about this?!?!?!?

Old review here.

I got way more hyperactive for this show than I probably should have...but fuck you, it was a revelation.
Remember (I've fucking mentioned it enough times), my teachers and counselors went to insane lengths to try to psychologically browbeat the weird out of me, and then this comes along, and in one fell swoop, finally makes it okay to be weird again.

I cannot describe the ecstasy of having my chains shatter.

Man, I was just a nerdy weirdo that wanted release of wacky zany humor.
Gay kids with Bible-thumper parents get that oppression a million times over.
Holy shit, my fucking sympathies.
While a vile country this is.

At least counter-culture rebels still sneak their stuff into the mainstream consciousness from time to time. I've never had the impulse to be a sellout writing formula pablum because of this experience.
Wacky shit for rejected misfits, or nothing.


Show was decent, theme song is taken from "Forbidden Zone", so that's kinda hipster cool.

But Scott Adams is a fuckface.
If I ever meet him, I'll have to consciously suppress the urge to push him down a flight of stairs.

The Critic

Maurice LaMarche is a God.
That is all.


Next time, we're going back to movies!!

Read More......

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Star Wars Anthology Trilogy update 2.


The Han Solo movie just wrapped, and got a title.
And it's....

"Solo: A Star Wars Story".

So, they're going with the "Empire Strikes Back", yellow, and the "Empire Strikes Back", tilted rectangle (yeah, I know that shape has its own name, but fuck if I'm gonna go look it up).

So, if "Rogue One", uses the "Return Of The Jedi", rectangle and color, and this uses the ESB shape and color, then maybe Obi-Wan will use the (abandoned) "A New Hope", blue pyramid.
Be neat to finally see that used.

Anyhoo, here's the infographic update.

Three flicks, and two titles to go...

Read More......

Sunday, October 15, 2017

I don't h8 the 90's anymore (Part 9).

So, all of the above is the media I was consuming.
Now, what I was getting up to as a person in the world.
Bear in mind, I'm a nerd, not a treasure hunter, or ballooninst, or fireman, so my "adventures", are all cerebral and epicurean.

Florida trip (1990)


Saw all the usual stuff.
Haunted Mansion, Mission To Mars, Peter Pan (this time, with no "help me Smee!", glitch).

Couldn't get anywhere near Space Mountain.

"Little Mermaid", had just come out, and Disney had just bought The Muppets, so Bob from "Sesame Street", was there singing Little Mermaid songs over and over.

Oh, yeah, Mission To Mars was already falling apart, and unattended, and assholes kept walking right in in the middle, and destroying the illusion, and no one seemed to care, so it doesn't surprise me at all to see on Wikipedia they closed it down in 1992.


Magical Kingdom is good for kids, but if you're a preteen to adult, Epcot is totally where you want to go.

I have it packed away somewhere, the only souvenir I kept from it was this creepy comic book paid for by Shell, or Exxon, or somebody, where Mickey sucks the oil industry's cock for 20 pages.
I mean, not literally, but y'know.
Still, pretty creepy to see a childhood mascot spout corporate propaganda.
And not like Mickey, either, he sounds like an oil executive.
Like an oil industry PR man is wearing Mickey's skin like a suit.
That's pretty funny in hindsight, I guess.

I went to Body Wars, and all the 3-D movie things where you just stand around.
Captain EO, saw that.
Pretty sure that's not a thing anymore.

MGM/Disney Hollywood Studios

At least, that's what it was called at the time.
This was pretty bland, they didn't have much.

Best thing was Star Tours, but once you saw it, you saw it.

There was a movies ride that had animatronic scenes from old movies, and the most modern one was Aliens, and a Xenomorph dropped down from the ceiling as you went by.
Meh, that was all right.

Then there was an Indiana Jones live stunt show with explosions and flame plumes.
That was all right too.

There was probably other stuff, but the lines were too long for anything really good.
That applies to all three parks, really.

I hear they're gonna gut large chunks of this to get Star Wars Land in.
Fine by me.

Oh, yeah, I saw Greg Evigan walk by.
Local Orlando news is owned by Disney.
Like, not directly, but Florida knows who brings in their tourist dollars, so they play ball.
So, they tell you in a special segment what rides are broken, what has long lines, what celebrities are there to look out for, all that stuff.
So, I saw to be on the lookout for Greg Evigan, and I saw him.
He had the "My Two Dads", beard, and the mullet.
It was him.

I didn't say anything.
Didn't want to be rude, or find out it wasn't him, and make an asshole of myself.
Upon reflection, it was him though.

Universal Studios Orlando.

Best thing was the Ghostbusters Spooktacular.
Click the link for the video history of it.

Everything was broken, didn't get to see E.T., didn't get to see Jaws, didn't get to see King Kong.

Oh yeah, that lame Hanna Barbara ride worked.
You just watched a 3-D cartoon while being jerked around in your seat like Body Wars, and Star Tours.
Except not as good as either of those.

Since everything was broken or lame, dad got our money back.
Fuck that place.
In the ass.
With fire.

Flea World (1981-2016)

It was a giant flea market the size of a mall.
They had lunch wagons, fruit stands, barbecue pits, barbers, ear piercers, tattoo parlors, pets, everything.
Think they even had a fuckin' dentist!
Y'know, maybe I'm exposing my white trash-ness, but I think this was my favorite thing.
Even more than fucking Disney. was.
Best fucking part.
(Fuck it, I'm making that the graphic)

Found the VHS of Toxic Avenger there.

Bought Hulk #372 there.

Fuckin Disney didn't have comics and Troma.

Flea World wins, bitch.

Sadly, I can never go back.
They don't exist anymore.
I looked it up, and they were bought out by developers in 2015, and demolished in 2016.

Overall Florida memories/observations/impressions.

Don't go in summer.
Went in summer in '81 and '90, and it was Hell.
Scorching heat, even your sweat dries up.
It gushes rain, dries right up, and then rains right back down again.
You can SEE it dry.
You can stand right there, and watch a soaked sidewalk turn dry, like the rain never happened.
Air conditioners everywhere strain, and barely keep up.
Only Disney's air conditioners are perpetually freon charged properly, because they're rich.
I guzzled soda like crazy, and I don't remember ever peeing.

What I already said above about the news being effectively owned by Disney.
Plus...boy, lotta murders in Florida.
Maine, we get a murder every fourth month or so, and it's always some asshole taking out his wife over some domestic thing, or killing his kids to hurt the wife because he got fucked hard in the divorce.
Florida, every day, a bloody sidewalk stain where some gang shit went down.

-Bart Simpson was everywhere, because Simpsons didn't suck yet.
-There were fireworks shows every night at Disney that you could see from miles around.
-Fireworks stands were all down the highways all down south to Florida
-The water was sulpher-y. Possibly due to all the fireworks activity.
-Except in Disney, where they had filtering.
-There was a very clear delineation of where the sleazy porn-y parts of town were.
-There was a comic shop near our hotel that I didn't get to check out.

There was a creepy anti Dungeons & Dragons infomercial on the hotel TV.
The Satanic Panic was still going on.
Go to Youtube, and look up "Satanic Panic", it's fucked up shit, and none of it was real.
All the child sex abuse that Christians were making up to scare the shit out of you, WAS SHIT CHRISTIANS WERE DOING!!!!

I can't find the exact one I saw at Florida on Youtube.
Mine had a black dude.
All the Youtube ones have white dudes.
Geraldo was in on that bullshit too.
God, Geraldo fucking sucks.
Fucker ought to be in jail.
Next to Harvey Weinstein.

"Zap Pow Crash", class (1994) was fun, but it was basically paying to sit around, and shoot the shit about comics.

Taught by the guy who made "Scrap City Packrats".
Wonder if that's still a thing.

Zone Dweebies (1993-1994)

Story here, cartoons here.

Wrote that during the time I was working at Unum.

Nova Scotia trip (1995)

Went there aboard the Bluenose.
Almost barfed myself inside-out from seasickness.

Worth it.
Canadians are 1000 times nicer than Americans.
A heavy oppressive psychic wave of evil fell back over me once we made it back to the states.
You don't notice it until you're free of it for a week.
God, I hate it here.

I discovered a weird thing you'd never expect.
Japanese people love "Anne Of Green Gables".
We went to the Anne Of Green Gables museum, and it was swarming with Japanese tourists.
Turns out, they had an anime of it over there that a lot of them cherish from childhood.

Bought a tape of Canadian hits from the 80's to listen to in the car.
This one in particular burnt into my head.
Tokyo Rose by Idle Eyes.

It popped into my head that it sounded like the kind of song they'd play on Knight Rider.
Sonovabitch, I later saw a Knight Rider rerun, and it had fucking Tokyo Rose!!
I dunno if that was just dumb luck, or if I'd seen it before, and subliminally remembered it.

They've got better chip flavors up there.
Roast chicken was awesome.
It tasted like stuffing spice, and chicken grease.
They also had a gravy flavor.
Mix the gravy with the chicken, and holy fuckballs!
*Drool, gurgle, splash*

They also had plain doodles.
Y'know cheese doodles, right?
Now imagine without cheese.
They're like...buttered popcorn without the hulls.

They also have a jillion flavors of Crush.
Blueberry, lime, pineapple, fruit punch, grape, cherry, strawberry, and the standard orange.
That's just the ones I can remember.

Lotta cute girls.

Oh, saw the Oak Island Money Pit.
The story behind that is hilarious levels of bullshit.
Read the Wikipedia page, or listen to this podcast.

Saw the Marconi museum.
Y'know, the guy who stole radio from Tesla.
Still a cool museum though.

Saw the Alexander Graham Bell museum.
Y'know, the guy who stole the phone from Elisha Grey.
Still a cool museum though.

Yeah, looking back on it, that trip enlightened me to what a shit-pile of a state in a shit-pile of a country I'm stuck in.
It gave me a clarifying and freeing "it's not me, it was always them", feeling.
I'm thankful for that.
It was the start of climbing up out of my depression.

Thank you, Nova Scotia.

Nicely's Video (1987-2005)

See here.

Also, see the candy dish entries on The Kindred, and 4-D Man.

Shady Dave's (1987-1995)

See here.

We started going in 87, Florida trip was 90, Nova Scotia trip picked up right after it died in '95 for something new to do.

I reconstructed the timeline by what comics/novels were out.
First trip, Swamp Thing #57 where he's a red cactus Swamp Thing (Desert Thing!) was out, so that nails it to '87.

I got "Death Of Superman", and "Knightfall", out of there along the way, so that gets it up to 93-94.

We still went to Weathervane and Bookland in Kittery even after Shady Dave's died for awhile, and I remember getting "Children Of The Jedi", and "Darksaber", from the Bookland.
Those are 1995.
I started collecting "Dark Lords Of The Sith", at Shady Dave's, but they wrapped up in 1995, and I didn't get the last issue there.

"Shadows Of The Empire", was a thing in 1996, and we definitely weren't making the Kittery trip anymore by then.

So, 1995 must have been the very last time we went where it was torn down.

Couldn't tell you when they were established.
They're erased from history.
Someone somewhere must have flyers or something in a scrapbook, but none of it's online.

Weathervane (1987-2014-15?)

See here again.

They grew into a whole huge chain across Maine and New Hampshire, and they were always packed, always did a good business, and then they mysteriously closed down all their locations but Kittery, and New Hampshire.
Some crooked manager must have made off with all the money, and gone to Thailand to fuck boys.
It's always something like that.

After we stopped going to Kittery, we still had the Portland one out by the Maine Mall.
Not anymore.
End of an era.

Talked a little bit about it going away here.

Movies Unlimited (1995-1998)

See here.

Yeah, it was a small window before I started Amazon-ing instead.
Turns out, it picked right up after Shady Dave's died.

Borders (1995-2011)

See here.

The other thing that picked up for Shady Dave's in '95.

I know they started in '95, because they weren't there when I graduated in '93, and the first book I remember getting out of there was "Aeon Flux: The Herodotus File", which was '95.
Also got "Miss America", out of there which was '95.
So, they were being built in '94.
Yeah, that works out about right.

Bookland (198?-2000)

See here.

Five years after Borders moves in, dead.
End of another era.
Although, they kind of still exist as Nonesuch Books.

Schwan man (1990-1993) 

Covered this before here.

Finally reconstructed the timeline.
See above.

Neat factoid, they own Red Baron, Frescetta, and Tony's.

Stuff with no clear years....

Home Vision Video

See here.

Casablanca Comics

Briefly mentioned here.

Got Mask, Mask Returns, and a shitload of Star Wars out of there.

Saturday Matinee

Moped about it being gone here.

Got Tenchi tapes, and the cassette of the Heavy Metal soundtrack out of there.

Discontinued (and not) foods from the 90's

Talked about these in Thanksgiving Three.

90's Twix/PB Max
Chef Wich
Citra and Citrus Frost

External links...
A tribute to discontinued cereals.
A tribute to fallen sodas.

...and, that's the end!

Next time, we're going full circle back to cartoons!!

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