Sunday, June 3, 2012

Some MORE shows I hate that everyone else likes.


Basic cable edition.

Right off the bat...Tim & Eric.

Anything they fucking do.

I don't get it.
I mean, I kinda sorta get it, it's some post-modern bullshit, where they're saying TV is fuckin' stupid, and they're doing everything TV does with beautiful people, but with ugly people, to show how stupid it all is, and do everything TV does with camera tricks and effects to glamorize things and to make them look important,  but with stupid/gross things for essentially the same reason.

But....you see it for about 10 minutes, you've seen it, you're done, and they've run it into the ground.
It's not funny.
It sucks.

So, when I say "I don't get it", I'm really saying, I don't get why it's supposed to be funny for season after season.
Maybe it's a pot-head thing, I dunno....

And...whatever their snarky justification for it....the end result...is that style of "humor", of bullies, and hecklers, and internet trolls that are out to ruin what us nerds try to build with pure moronic chaos.

Y'know, just some drunken idiot running out onstage, and puking on your feet, and hooting "USA! USA!", and ruining the thought out constructed jokes and stories you worked hard on.

That's what it is.

The background thinking for it is a difference that doesn't make a difference.

These guys are nerds, and they took the bully/heckler/jerk "humor".
That's fucking treason.
Fuck them.

It embodies everyone in my school days who I seriously wanted to kill.
I was glad to get away from them, and now, they're on my fucking TV.
Oh, joy.

Loiter Squad, for being the black ripoff of that stupid unfunny puking frat-boy bullshit.

Fuck anything Zach Galifianakis does for pretty much the same reason but times 10.
And, for just being a shitty smirking cockbag who doesn't deserve his ego.
Oh, and he's a Tim & Eric guest too, so...there ya go...

Yep, fuck him.

And really, fuck pretty much any of the live-action shit on Cartoon Network.
WTF is this bullshit with channels not following their mission statement implied by their name?

Live-action shit on CN, WWE wresting on SyFy, supernatural bullshit on TLC and History, Tosh.0 on Comedy Central....

Oh yeah, fuck Tosh.
Anything he fuckin' does.
Another mean smirking douche.

In fact, it's a fucking insult how CC marathons this shit to pinch pennies.
I mean...it's a show that must cost nothing.
It's an exercise in naked contempt for viewers.
It's other people's Youtube videos, and a green screen.
Do the Youtube-ers see a cent?
Bet not.
Fuck you, CC.
Like you executive suit piles of shit aren't rich enough, you gotta plague us with this low-rent crap for the sake of "profit margin", just so you can buy a boat full of hookers.
Yay, America.

Back to CN, any of that shittily animated shit like "12 Ounce Mouse".
Is that another post-modern thing where shitty is good?
Fuck post-modernism then.
Sometimes, bad things are just bad.
In fact, most times.
So, yeah, fuck off, fanbase of shit like this.

Um...what else?

Reality shit, obviously.
Does "Mythbusters", count?
I exempt them.

Anything about rich cunts, or baby-factories in a creepy zombie-grinning Jesus-cult, are instantly on my shit list.

In fact, anything about anyone that doesn't have a skill, or talent, or some fucking  reason why we're watching them.

I don't need my eyeballs polluted by the home movies of the wretchedly mediocre.

Fuck you, and your mediocre expectations, and shiftless apathy, if you contribute in any way to the ratings and/or ad revenue of these train-wrecks.
You should seriously consider suicide for what you've enabled.
Blood is on your hands.
It will not wash off, I promise you.

Um...I mentioned MTV last time, right?
Right.
Okay, moving on...

Okay, here's one....

Porno exists, it's online, for free, everywhere, any kind you've ever dreamed of, every twisted fantasy you've ever had, you can watch, again, and again, and again, with the click of a mouse.

And it's out of the closet that everyone consumes it, so judgement about it is largely gone, except among puritans, and insecure prick-wavers, and they're mostly all a bunch of hypocrites.

SO, anything on censored, ad-sponsored, corporate, bloodless, network-fucking-TV that exists/existed to lamely pathetically titillate, it's a fucking joke, and it's a joke if you watch.

If you're getting your erotic stimulation off television in this day and age, it's pathetic.

It's fucking pathetic.

PATHETIC!

The soap stuff, like "Desperate Houswives", the ass-flash stuff like "NYPD Blue".
Reality shit like "Temptation Island".
All that happy horseshit.
If you're a man that watches that shit, you're a fucking eunuch, and if you're a woman that makes her man watch shit like that, you have no taste, and you're a miserable fun-less ball-buster.

A world where "Grey's Anatomy", got high ratings should have never happened.

Get with the 21st century, people.
Google "Youporn", and your work is done, weary traveler.
Decades of TV induced frustration, gone like *snaps fingers* that.

While I'm at it, ABC pretty much just ought to be hydrogen bombed off the map.
For Dr. Phil, if for nothing else.

But...anyway, back to basic cable, off the top of my head..."Nip/Tuck", there was some watered down pseudo-porn.
But, that's gone now, so....

Hmm....yeah, I'll think of more, don't worry....


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