Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Gorge-athon (Part 4)

All right, let's do this one...

Runts (1982-present)

The candy-

To go with the Nerds one...

Pretty much the same thing I said there about sour, and acid...

Oh, and dammit, they raped my childhood.
They got rid of cherry, and lime.

Now, they're replaced with green apple, and grape.
Which, are good...but I want that fucking lime back!


The history-

The husband of the woman from the "spoiled Optimus's death for me", story bought these in bulk from someplace that had them in self-serve bins.

And, this was back in 1990....if he doesn't have diabetes, he's a medical miracle.

Okay, like last time, that's the obligatory review out of the way...

Now, recipes again....

Microwave grilled cheese

...cuz fuck yew, I ain't dirtying a pan at midnight, and I sure ain't washing one....

Bread, American cheese, margarine.

Toast bread in toaster.

Butter toast.

Put cheese between pieces of toast butter side in.

Nuke sandwich on paper plate for 20 seconds.

Nuking moistens the toast, so you get chewy and crunchy together, and, if you buttered it enough, it's almost indistinguishable from pan fried.

And, you don't wanna nuke it too long, or you can't hold the fuggin' thing.
Juuust enough to knock the cheese molecules loose.


Add ham.
But, don't just add it, nuke it on a paper plate set on a minute, but stop it when the ham starts to sizzle and pop.

Then, add the ham, and nuke the cheese.

Ham and salami work together.

Or, the ultimate, see if your deli has that salami sized sandwich pepperoni, that's awesome.

And, there you go.
A grease-bomb sandwich with no muss, no fuss, just toss the paper plate.


Stuffing and eggs

This one comes from an old school friend I lost contact with.
(Okay, it's Steve, from many an anecdote)

Geez...Pee-Wee's Playhouse was being advertised that day...so, it was new...*Googles* yeah, 1986, holy shit...anyway....

Instant stuffing, egg, pizza cheese, or taco cheese.

Moisten, and nuke the stuffing. (Half a minute)

Crack, scramble, and nuke the egg (cover it with something, nuked eggs love to explode).
(Ditto on cooking time, eggs cook quick)

Put the stuffing and eggs into the same  bowl, stir them together, then put the cheese on top, nuke for another 20-30 seconds to get the cheese going.

It's surprisingly good.

But, all these years later, it occurs to me, you could just as well put all that between toast, and nuke it like the "grilled cheese", thing.

Either way, enjoy!

Now, dessert.

Instant peanut butter fudge

Get a small glass bowl, like, what you put dipping sauce in, but, a big one of those.

Shovel out 2-3 heaping knife-fuls of peanut butter.

I prefer JIF, you may prefer a crappy second-rate brand.

Have refrigerated, a plastic tub of vanilla frosting.
The butterier and fluffier, the better.
Pillsbury makes a damned good one.

Shovel in a knife-ful at a time, the frosting into the peanut butter, and stir in, until the peanut butter loses its greasy aspects, and becomes a tan color.

Eat resultant mixture with knife.

If it's not perfectly to taste, play with the recipe with more scooping and mixing.

Repeat process until sated, frosting is gone, or, you feel sick.

Instant peanut butter cookie dough

Same as above, cup, peanut butter, but this time, powdered sugar.

Shovel powdered sugar into peanut butter a spoonful at a time and stir in until the peanut butter loses all stickiness, and becomes doughy.


As with previous recipe, repeat to taste until it's to your preference.

That's my simple late-night "gotta have something NOW!", desserts.
They'll get fancier.

Tomorrow, beverages.

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