Part 1.
Holy shitballs, it's been well over a month since the last one!
I haven't been lazy, I just keep adding shit to the list, and it never feels done!
I finally had to decide, "even if I forget shit, I just have to finally do this!".
So, last time was animation, this is live-action movies of the 90's that I loved, liked, think are historically important, or I just found interesting.
1990-
Pump Up The Volume
I dunno, this one just hits me just right, but I think it's fucking great.
Probably because its "stick it to the man", type message.
I'm always a sucker for that.
Course, this is back in the day when you had to rely on stupid fucking radio, and there was a sense of looming doom of the FCC taking our speech away.
Nowadays, this dude could just have a podcast.
Course...now the threat comes from the possible loss of Net Neutrality.
Yeah, it never ends with the Nazis, they never rest.
Anyway, cool time capsule of where we were back then.
And a damned good teen drama.
It never quite gets to schmaltzy.
It dances the edge in a couple spots, but it always recovers quick.
Recommended.
Flatliners
The 2017 remake to this with Ellen Page is coming out soon.
Just watch this one.
Kevin Bacon, you can't lose.
Anyway, the remake is timely, because we've still got no shortage of stupid life risking thrill seekers.
All of them bored white people.
Speaking of bored white people, don't watch "The Blackout Experiments".
You won't get those two hours back.
Well, hour 20 minutes, but still...
Men At Work
Yes, Charlie Sheen once made funny comedies.
It wasn't a parallel universe, this actually happened.
Charlie and Emilio are garbage men, they stumble onto a murder that they mistakenly think they did, hi-jinks ensue.
Check it out.
That was 3 I haven't reviewed, now for 3 I have that I didn't say enough about before.
Edward Scissorhands
Old review.
This, and "A Nightmare Before Christmas", were his Tim-Burton-iest.
His other stuff is set more in our world, and has the Tim Burton style sprinkled on it, but those two are uniquely his own.
Ehh, come to think of it, toss in "The Corpse Bride", and the "Frankenweenie", remake, and "Beetlejuice".
Anyhoo, like most film fans, I went through a phase of whining about his flicks having a repetitive look and feel, but, meh, his films are what they are, they're his vision, and it's a singular vision.
The man made films that touched my heart, and changed my life, I'm not gonna pee on him.
It's a hip thing to do these days, but fuck that high school bullshit.
There's better things to to do.
Like work at a soup kitchen, or be a hospital clown, or overthrow the government.
IT
Old review.
The remake is finally coming this September.
We'll see if that child orgy is in there.
I wager not.
At least theatrically.
I really hope it's not.
Yecchh.
Can you imagine the riots?
I also have a hard time imagining if they'll try to pull off the cosmic stuff with the turtle, and if so, how they'll do it.
Seriously, the two fights with Pennywise turn into Doctor Strange in the novel.
Big budget remake, they've got to attempt it, or what's the point?
We'll just have to see.
Ghost
Old review.
The romance stuff is schmaltzy, but I always forget how funny Whoopie was, and that there was the whole subplot with finding his killer, and him learning telekinesis to be able to fight, so there was a action thriller side to it.
Also, the demons were animated by the guy who did "The Wizard Of Speed And Time".
So...yeah, it's a good flick.
Worth a look if for nothing else, to get all the cultural references to it.
Here's the other ones for this year I already reviewed as just links...
Total Recall
Darkman
Jacob's Ladder
Wild At Heart
Gremlins 2
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Misery
Frankenhooker
The Death Of The Incredible Hulk
Tales From The Darkside The Movie
Honorable mentions-
Quick Change
Spirit Of '76
Truly Madly Deeply
1991-
The Dark Backward
About a pair of garbage men in this weird parallel world dystopia, one of whom grows a third arm, the other who's played by Bill Paxton.
Hi-jinks and gross-out humor ensue.
One of the best cult films ever, track it down.
Wayne Newton acts ashamed that he was in this.
Even better reason to see it.
Best reason to see it, dammit, we all miss Bill Paxton, and he was great in everything.
One of those actors who gave you his all, even in clunkers.
Career Opportunities
Frank Whaley pops up in everything, but he popped up even more in the 90's.
They really tried to make him happen, and it's sad that he didn't take.
He's really good at being the lovable shlub.
He's got that niche nailed.
About a guy (Whaley) who works the night shift locked inside a Wal-Mart clone, then one night, Jennifer Connelly hides out to rob the place, they fall in love, real evil robbers break in, hi-jinks ensue.
Reminds me of my stint at Wal-Mart, except I wasn't alone, and there was no Jennifer Connelly.
And John Candy wasn't the manager.
Sweet little flick.
Defending Your Life
About a guy (Albert Brooks) who dies, and finds out the afterlife is a trial to decide if you go to the next dimensional plane, get sent back to try again, or get deleted.
During this, he falls in love with Meryl Streep.
On the one hand, I see what Brooks is doing here, using the mechanism of the trial to try to figure out what living an ideal life ought to be.
On the other hand, man, am I glad death is oblivion.
I mean, you can't even fucking DIE to escape judgement by other people?
Fuck that noise!
Cute little comedy, even if its philosophy is screwed on a little crooked.
Screw it, there are so many choices for this year, I'll do a fourth....
Only The Lonely
IMHO, John Candy's best movie.
Not a lot of people even know about it.
He died three years later. (:-(
Anyway, about a guy (Candy) who falls for a morgue makeup artist (Ally Sheedy) and they want to marry, but Candy's overbearing mom pees on their parade, and sabotages Candy's attempts to leave the nest.
Nice little tear-jerker.
Yeah, I know, aside from "Dark Backward", I picked all cute rom-coms.
What's wrong with me?
Nothing. Rom-coms just used to be better.
Now they're rat poison.
Okay, now to revisit 3 I've done...
Shakes The Clown
Old non-review.
Indie films are where the 90's really shined.
Hollywood was falling on its face most times, but I always forget all the great stuff that came out of indie that I still love.
The plot...well, it's about an alcoholic clown.
Oh, and he gets framed for murder by an evil clown named Binky.
But really, it's about the quirky characters more than the story.
The cast is a who's who of comedians.
Bobcat Goldthwait, Julie Brown, Bruce Baum, Blake Clark, Kathy Griffin, Tom Kenny, Joel Murray, Adam Sandler, Milton Berle, Robin Williams, Florence Henderson, LaWanda Page, and...those are just the names and faces I recognize.
IMDB page.
If you don't love this movie, you're dead inside, and dead to me.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Terminator Genisys
(Which has the links to everything else Terminator)
The series peaked here, and never rose again.
Big-budget action is all that Hollywood was really successfully nailing at this time.
Comic book movies could have happened here, but they were always stuck in development Hell.
And franchise horror was left bleeding and sobbing in a ditch.
Anyhoo, this flick pretty much owned the whole first half of the decade.
This, and "Jurassic Park", but we'll get to that.
I don't need to describe the flick to you, you've seen it.
Whore
Old review.
Hmm, I said most of it there, but I'll take another crack at it...
Pretty much what I said about Shakes.
Indie was where the real stuff was, big Hollywood made crap like "Pretty Woman".
But, as all you kiddies are currently learning, whether it's the Trump administration, the UK government, big religion, or anything owned by Rupert Murdoch, don't look for objective reality from big business on any level.
Rich assholes want a G rated VR headset glommed onto your face at all times.
Get your entertainment from the underground as often as possible.
And everything else from scientists.
Knight Rider 2000
Old review.
Hmm, covered it pretty well there...
Yeah, we're almost to 2020 now, and still no sonic stun guns.
Cellphones have become little super computers, and those are making people crash their cars more than alcohol.
So, maybe it's best that we don't have HUD display windshields to distract people with.
Although, Google is working on the self driving car.
It goes, but it struggles when it goes over 35 miles an hour.
And it really can't handle the stupid things human drivers on the road suddenly do.
So, for this to work, we're just going to have to get rid of human driving, and Google-ize all the cars.
People are just too retarded.
OTOH, anything you computerize, you make hack-able.
And Russia has armies of evil fucking hackers now.
We don't need Skynet, Russia will do it with humans.
Oh yeah, and Hasselhoff is still ticking, he was just in "Kung Fury", and "Guardians 2".
Once again, others for this year I reviewed already.
Silence Of The Lambs
Cape Fear (remake)
The Addams Family
The People Under The Stairs
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Freddy's Dead
Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country
Honorable mentions-
Hook
Blood And Concrete: A Love Story
Bernard and the Genie
Poison
Naked Gun 2 1/2
The Guyver
What About Bob?
Boyz N The Hood
The Fisher King
1992-
Unforgiven
Best. Western. Ever. Period.
Hmm, probably the best Clint Eastwood movie ever now that I think of it.
*Strains memory* yeah, even counting directed, it's his best.
Wow, 25 years ago this was?
Does not feel like it.
But, that's old enough for it to serve inspiration to "Logan", and not feel like a rip.
Reservoir Dogs
I'm just not a Tarantino fan.
I've tried and tried with him, cuz I feel like I'm missing out on something, but it just doesn't happen.
I like this one though.
Like, not love.
He wrote "Natural Born Killers", and "True Romance", and I really like those, because he didn't direct them.
"Pulp Fiction", is all right, but it didn't knock my socks off like it did everyone else.
And "Death Proof", is dumb fun, but Rosario Dawson is what makes that magic (more on this when I get to "Road Killers").
I flat out hate "Kill Bill".
"Inglorious Basterds", did nothing for me, and I have no desire to see "Django Unchained", or "Hateful Eight".
I'm sorry, I'm just done with him.
I gave it a fair hearing.
Anyway, this one is pretty decent and watchable, because it was before his personality excesses started brazenly intruding into the films.
As a person, I find Tarantino to be very punch-able.
It oozes into stuff like "Kill Bill", and "Pulp Fiction".
Especially where he inserts himself into that one.
When he makes himself a character, I can't fucking even.
Wayne's World
Among the better of the SNL character films.
And man, they churned out a lot of them in the 90's and 00's.
I think "Ladies Man", was finally the one that killed it.
I was always pissed we didn't get a "Sprockets", movie.
That was MY favorite Michael Myers skit.
Followed by Wayne, followed by "Lothar Of The Hill People".
Jesus, we got a Stuart Smalley movie, but no "Lothar Of The Hill People", movie?
There is no justice.
Anyway, I think this one is a lovable gem, and still holds up.
I'd even call it a classic.
And, it's even part of a micro-genre with films like "Strange Brew", and "Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark".
They're all characters from a small fake public access show that start the movie in their show, then they step out into the larger world outside their show for the rest of the flick.
You could almost kinda count "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure", but "Pee-Wee's Playhouse", came after, but the "Pee-Wee Herman Show", HBO special is kind of a retroactive pilot for that, and that was before the movie.
If you can think of others, point 'em out in comments.
Now for the 3 I've done before, except it's a thin list for this year, so it's one...
The Nutt House (AKA The Nutty Nutt)
Old review.
The credits are full of Alan Smithy-s, but I've since found out this was written by Bruce Campbell, Sam Raimi, and Ivan Raimi, and directed by the guy who did "The Dark Backward"!
Also, Robert Kurtzman did effects.
It's stupid as Hell, but I'll take this over "Dumb And Dumber", any fucking day of the week.
Anyway, it's about a set of twins who get split up, one ends up rich, the other ends up in a loony bin, and develops multiple personalities that he morphs into, complete with costumes, like a cartoon.
Also, the MPD twin is Tex Avery cartoon invincible.
Like, Mask level, but they do it with practical effects.
So, the lead plays the good and evil twins, and all the personalities.
It gets confusing.
The love interest is Tracy Lords.
It's fucking wild, you've got to dig this thing up.
Showtime used to rotate it, but its since vanished.
Amazon has it on DVD, but depending on the copy you get, it could be pricey.
Look around, you can find it. *wink*
Others I've reviewed-
Society
Army Of Darkness
Batman Returns
Candyman
Dr. Giggles
Honorable mentions-
The Lawnmower Man
1993-
Falling Down
I always forget Michael Douglas did this.
Fun flick, but when angry white men snap in real life, it's never this fun.
It's always sad, ugly, racist, and there's a 50-50 chance of kids dying.
Although, they kind of make that point at the end.
More relevant than ever.
True Romance
My favorite of anything Tarantino was ever involved with.
See "Reservoir Dogs", above.
Also, as I said in 2011...
Seen this just recently.
Wow!
How in the hell did I miss this?
It would've changed everything.
Dammit...
Yeah, it would have.
Ditto "Chasing Amy", but I'll get to that...
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Dicaprio was an uber-talent from the very beginning, and this was pure Johnny Depp when he was still trying, and not doing over-cooked "look at me, I'm wacky!", performances every flick.
Still holds up.
Still an underground classic though, America hasn't embraced it to its heart the way us cinema geeks have.
A pity, it deserves love.
Now, for the three I've done before...
Freaked
Old review.
Oh, yeah, forgot to mention what the flick was even about in that one.
Doy!!
Alex Winter is a former child star who takes a gig as a pitch man for an evil chemical conglomerate, then gets captured by Randy Quaid who uses toxic waste to make freaks for his freak show.
Winter and his friends get freaked, then have to find a way to escape, and get cured.
Hi-jinks ensue.
Features Brooke Shields, Mr. T, and Keanu Reeves in an un-credited role as the dog faced boy.
Another fun, weird, wacky, little indie cult comedy.
Groundhog Day
Old non-review.
Quite possibly Bill Murray's best film.
Easily the best thing Harold Ramis ever directed, and he directed some awesome stuff.
*Sad sigh over Harold being gone*
Yep, worthy of the looping marathon they play on actual groundhog day.
Jurassic Park
Old non-review.
I really, really, dig this, I dig it a lot, but I don't love the ever-living shit out of it the way the millennial generation does.
I mean, millennials love the SHIIIT out of it.
I guess this was their Star Wars, their Transformers The Movie.
Yeah, I can see that.
I get it.
Wish I loved the shit out of it, because it is a damned good flick.
The sequels, not so much.
What can't be argued, is what an important film it is to cinema history.
Others I've reviewed-
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Addams Family Values
Demolition Man
Jason Goes To Hell
Alien 3
Honorable mention-
Fear Of A Black Hat
Coneheads (sue me)
1994-
Clerks
Ah, now THIS is right where the 90's really became itself.
It's hip to sneeze at Kevin Smith lately, but his stuff is holding up a lot fucking better as a 90's time capsule than a lot of other movies that were shoved down our throats.
I mean, go on, tell me you think "Reality Bites", or "Empire Records", are better than this.
Do it, so I can slap you into a coma.
And hey, Kevin Smith built the first cinematic universe with a Stan Lee cameo before Marvel did!
We owe him a lot, he's very misunderstood, and underappreciated.
Of the two big indie 90's guys, Tarantino or Smith, I'll take Smith, hands down.
No fucking contest for me.
That's not to say I like everything he's ever made, or think he's never made a dumb move in the press, but come on, you really wanna hang out with an angry, violent, punchy, racist, foot fetishist over a jovial pot smoking comic book geek?
The choice is obvious.
If it isn't to you, I weep.
The Road Killers (AKA Roadflower)
A family on a road trip is harassed by maniacs in the desert.
Hi-jinks ensue.
Stars Christopher Lambert, and features Michelle Forbes, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (when he was a wee little tyke).
Has one of the most disturbing scenes ever of a dad being burned slowly to death inside his flipped over car while Christopher Lambert is helpless to get him out.
Also, Gordon-Levitt as burned guy's son sees it.
*Shiver*
Yeah, that fucked me up.
Probably wouldn't bother me now.
Or, maybe it would.
Let's just say, Youtube isn't helping me right now.
Bastids.
Anyway, nifty but forgotten little thriller, check it out if you can ever find it.
Threesome
Has Stephen Baldwin before he became a libertarian psycho-Christian, and therefore a boring drag. The ultimate proof of this, is he that started being in Pureflix movies.
Better to be spat out the bottom of the porn industry than be in that shit.
Also has Lara Flynn Boyle before Jack Nicholson got his grubby mitts on her.
Anyway, it's actually what you think.
Three platonic friends finally decide to fuck.
Things get weird afterward.
Hi-jinks ensue.
Showtime often paired this with "The Dark Backward", as a Lara Flynn Boyle double feature.
It works!
Thank you, 90's Showtime!
Screw it, I'll chuck in a 4th again...
Zeiram
Live-action retro-sequel to "Iria: Zeiram The Animation".
I just needed to get these together.
Live-action practical effects transforming monster stuff that keeps up with the anime pretty damned well.
As I said with Iria...
Girl in a power suit fights gore monsters.
What's not to love?
Now, for ones I've done before...
Shawshank Redemption
Old review.
One of King's best, one of Darabont's best.
Hmm, probably Darabont's all time best.
Gets better the older it gets.
Like "Princess Bride", and "Christmas Story".
Yeah, safe to say it's a classic.
Stuff like this really made the 90's worth it.
Dark Angel: The Ascent
Old review.
Man, I pretty much said all of it in that one.
I have since finally re-watched this though.
Man, it's really corny.
Way more cheesey comedy to it than I remember.
Could've sworn it was more horror flavored.
Yeah, the ONLY reason I liked this, was because I had a RAGING hardon for granola/goth looking chicks at the time.
Well...thank you, Full Moon, for feeding my kink.
You know how to do a brother a solid.
Eh, with the extra 4th one above, I only need 2 of these, so....
Others I've reviewed-
Pulp Fiction
Star Trek: Generations
The Crow
Interview With The Vampire
The Mask
Ed Wood
New Nightmare
Cemetery Man
Street Fighter II The Animated Movie
Fatal Fury The Motion Picture
Honorable mentions-
Natural Born Killers
Cabin Boy
Quiz Show
Hudsucker Proxy
Stargate
Well, with those alone, I not only don't hate the 90's anymore, I think...I think I might love them!!
Holy shit, I finally love the 90's!!
It only took 20 fucking years!
And, that's gotta be 30-something flicks I singled out to ramble about, so, I'll cut it off here for today, and do '95 to '99 in a part three.
Stay tuned!
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