Postcards from Podsville #25.

The talk I wish someone had given me in my teens.

Okay, kid, don't be an idiot.

Go to college, take classes in journalism, use that to wheedle into being a film critic, like you contemplated.

C'mon, it's like all those MAD magazines you read as a kid, your brain totally ticks on that wavelength, it's a natural.

And if you end up not wanting to do that forever, you'll have the journalism to fall back on, plus, can use it to crowbar into any other writing thing you want to do.

Get a book or two under your belt, you can use that to get into comics, it's a swiss army knife into anything you want to do.

See? An actionable plan.

See, the assholes at school ain't telling you this, cuz they don't know.
They want drones.
And speaking of that, another reason to go for film critic.
Do it, or else, you'll end up putting up with the evil stupid bullshit that I'm having to tell your 20-something self about.

And if you don't think you can be a journalist, because you're not one of the jerks on the school paper, and the teachers make of the jerks who are on the school paper...
..fuck 'em, they're going nowhere.

Same reason not to stress ANY of the people hassling you here.
They're all bald drunks now.
Stop sweating it.

But DO sweat school.
Get your ass in gear, and get some good grades.

Otherwise, you'll be writing dirty angry blogs, and still working up the nerve for standup comedy in your 30's.

And also, the horrible jobs.

Read that if you ever need help focusing.

Focus, lad, focus.