Snarky political comment of the day #9

A special salute to The Legion Of Sociopaths!

An incomplete list, to be sure, but a (relatively) quickie highlight reel of the fevered and toxic little narcissists who've helped to make the world shitty by smearing their asses across history.

Y'know, those "enterprising go-getters", who woke up every morning, saying to themselves "how can I make as many people as possible absolutely fucking miserable, and just generally ruin everything around me?", and ceaselessly, and tirelessly, and relentlessly devoted their entire lives to that dogged pursuit.

And/or the faceless institutions they spawned, or gathered en masse to construct.

They've worked so damned hard, let's give them their kudos.

In no particular order.....


Caligula.

Yeah, he might've been fun at a party, but, he's a good embodiment of Roman psychos, and psycho politicians in general.
He kind've raised the bar for slimebags to come.
Why, right up to today's Washington hypocrites!


Nero.

'Nother Roman psycho.
The Christians never got over him, he's the fella "666", is based on, yet 2 millenia later, we still have to hear this end times shit from them.
Thanks, Nero.
Really.
Way to go.


Torquemada.

The personification of religious extremist batshittery.
Your typical piggy-eyed thug given way too much power.
Just look at the fuck.


Most (if not all) of the popes up to the latest one.

Moral authority my fuggin' arse.


A decent sized chunk of the U.S. Presidents.



Hitler.

Natch.


Stalin.

Natch.


Mussolini.

Natch.


Pol Pot.

Yechh, you can see the crazy on him.
Bleh.


Mao Tse Tung.

What a jolly looking little killer....


The cunts behind the financial collapse.



Every televangelist whom ever drew breath.



Ditto psychics.



Sam Walton.

For spawning the unkillable ravenous beast that can never, ever be fully fed.



Walt Disney.

For being a Jew-hater, and Hitler's favorite filmmaker, and for spawning yet another unkillable hungry beast.
Said hungry beast recently ate up my beloved Marvel.
Oh, and shat forth the Jonas Brothers.
Fuckin' cryo-frozen Nazi sonovabitch.
:(



Ray Crock.

Old Unca' Walt's army buddy, and creator of the third ravenous beast with a bottomless belly lumbering across the landscape.




The National Corn Grower's Association.

For being a creepy faceless, heartless, bloodless, mega-corporation, that pretends to be a bunch of family farmers, and sucks government subsidies like Cytheria sucks cum, and poisons all our food with their fucking high-fructose corn syrup, giving everyone fucking diabetes.

Here, enjoy a lovely spoof of one of their horrible Orwellian propaganda ads.



Monsanto corp.

For poisoning pretty much all our other fucking food, and being so fucking evil, they terrified Fox News reporters!
Yeah!
Fox!
Think about that shit, and try to sleep tonight.



Opec.

For having America in crack-whore subservience, and intractable moral checkmate for the past 40-50 years.



Exxon.

For being our pusher man, and for all their wonderful environmental catastrophes.



Blackwater.

Where were you when THESE demons shat up from a crack in the Earth, huh, you tea party assholes?
Eh?
Yeah....*head shake*



Halliburton.

The real reason we went to war.



Enron.

Yes, feast on those hopes and dreams.
Devour people's futures.
Dob your biscuit in the gravy of their tears.
Get them all down your cavernous gullet, and never be sorry.
You're fucking American heroes.




Bernie Madoff.

Ditto the above.



Dick Cheney.

See Halliburton.



Irving Kristol, and Leo Strauss.

Founders of the "intellectual movement", that just ran us into ruin the past 8 years.
Way to go, fellas.
Helluva job.
I piss on your graves.
With asparagus and rootbeer.



Rupert Murdoch.

For shaking a big sack of powdered cyanide into the well of every form of media he could get his pruney little mits on.



All the pricks on my big problems list.



The Klan

Ayep, the Ku Klux Klownz
Stomp 'em out, and they come back like cockroaches, or herpes.



Jefferson Davis.

Set the pattern for blubbering southern victimhood forever.
Slave masters, oppressors, crying out about their liberties.
Cognitive dissonance, anyone?
It's like The Exorcist, it just keeps getting funnier every time I see it.



Jonathan Edwards.

The puritanical fuck who wrote "sinners in the hands of an angry god", which re-ignited that fire-&-brimstone branch of Christianity for all time.

Look at him. Look at that puss.
Face is as pinched up as his fucking asshole.
The whole history of christian-conservative-WASP constipation is written right there on his jaundiced fucking mug.
Bet he sweated concentrated vinegar.

Speaking of constipation.....



McCarthy.

Natch.
Gotta keep watching for his shit re-incarnating.
Yhep, when you coin an -ism, you gotta look at your life.



Fred Wertham.

'Nother sphincter puss.
Ruined comics for a couple generations.
They were minding their own business, and being awesome, but this little ego wasn't being fed with recognition, so, whammo.
Way to go.
*Sarcastic clapping*



The FCC.



Fuck the FCC.



Joseph Smith, L. Ron Hubbard, Muhammed, and whomever the fuck really wrote The Bible.



Man, you gotta laugh, every time a great book is banned, or burned, and these fuckers are never in the pile.
Despite the sun-blotting mountains of corpses, ruined childhoods, damaged families, obliterated fortunes, scarred sex lives, and sexualities, emotional cripplings, and even mutilated and disfigured nations.

J.D. Salinger, Oscar Wilde, Vladimir Nobokov, Mark Twain, they could never DREAM of having their impact.

But guess who the fasc-oids always have the hardon to silence?
Damned right.

Tells you everything.

Bravo, you magnificent bastards.
Now that's immortality.



Violent stupid ya-fucking-hoos.

Always there to be the enforcement muscle of the worst "cause", on the fucking playing field.



Those that encourage violent stupid ya-fucking-hoos.

Oh, you knew you were going to get on my list, you little vixen, didn't ya?
*Blows a kiss*



Those that pander to violent stupid ya-fucking-hoos.

Geez, don't this crying shit feel familiar??
*Scrolls back to the Swaggart pic*


Budweiser.



For pumping out an endless river of cheap, affordable, rocket fuel for violent stupid assholism.



Philip Morris.


For making a product that does nothing but kill, and for sleeping like a baby on top of it.

And special honorary mention goes out to....



The contemptible herd!!!


For elevating and empowering all these people.

Congratulations, pat yourselves on the back, they couldn't have done it without you.

So, Shmegalamonga salutes you, assholes!!
Where would we be without you?

Oh, right, out in space, having fun and adventures, and making awesome discoveries!

Fuck you assholes!
Fuck you very much!
Fuck you oh so very much!