Monday, January 2, 2012

Yearbook: 2011, A Look Back.

All righty, let's properly recap this baby...

Part 0: I'm okay with the 10's so far...

Harry Hembock turned 22.

I did the "Krazy for decades", series which expanded into the very thing I'm writing

"The Arab spring".

Charlie Sheen went nuts.

Evil Dead 2 turned 24.

Japan is...well, it's just broken.

Shatner turned 80.

Liz Taylor died.

The stupid meaningless Royal Wedding happened.

Part 1: Jogging My Memory.

We lost Elisabeth Sladen, Jack Kevorkian, "Macho Man",  Randy Savage, and Jeff Conaway.

Osama bin Laden got shot through the eyes.
Good riddance.

Some dipshit Jesus freak got the mainstream media to acknowledge his fevered death-fantasies.

Anthony Wiener is an idiot.

A bunch of decent superhero flicks rolled out.

Human Centipede 2 got banned in the UK.
Tom Six merely put it into the ad campaign without missing a beat.
Magnificent bastard.

My Doctor Herbert segment failed miserably.
It was pulling teeth to get people to play with the idea.
I'll revive it in some other form.
Nothing goes to waste.
Not if I can help it.

Part 2: More.

Arnold crashed and burned his marriage with a homely broad, and a secret 10 year old son.
Tabloid guys promise there's a horde of these eugenic supermen running around.

Casey Anthony was a national story for some reason.
My theory? She was attractive by trailer park standards, and white.
Toss in the dead baby, the perfect corporate-media story.
A teaching moment, don't let it slip by, folks.

We lost Clarence Clemens, Ryan Dunne, and Peter Falk.

Cheerios turned 70.

Shmegalamonga turned 3.

Blago went to jail.
Good, now he's not on my TV anymore.

Part 3: Even More.

Did some overhauling of Shmegalamonga with the whole "Feesh", and "Shrieks", concept.
Yeah, I'm gonna let that quietly die off, I think.
At least it did its job of focalizing my thoughts for awhile, pruned a lot of messy mini-categories, and helped me to figure out what a Shmegalamonga is, thus giving this place an actual theme.
All of which later came together in the FAQ section.

Oprah retired.
Not really, but I can avoid her shitty channel more easily.
Good riddance.
In terms of damage done to our culture, I consider her the equivalent of a war criminal.

Rupert Murdock played his hand as an outright criminal with that whole phone hacking thing.
Haven't heard much more about this in the mainstream press.

Our pain was eased with Fruity Pebbles Treats.

The "elevator guy", scandal rocked the atheist blogosphere.

After 500 years, a year passed on Neptune.

Netflix turned evil.

No more space shuttle.
Don't dream of being an astronaut anymore, kids, settle for shitty rapper, arrogant doctor, or crooked defense attorney.
Or, maybe even shitty politician that takes pictures of his junk.
But basically, aim low, and be shitty, you're stuck on Earth.
It's shitty.

Google + took on Facebook.
Google harassed me endlessly to join.
No, leave me alone.

Also, another shitty Transformers movie came out.

Part 4: Still More.

Shrieks and Feesh shrunk down to the tags, Shrieks abandoned.

Got me a cheap junky digital camera.

Rupert Murdoch killed a guy.

Summer was hellish.

Burger King got magic coke machines.

The Norway bomber/shooter.

Amy Winehouse died, you all sat by, and let it happen.

Borders Books died out.

A shitty Smurfs movie came out.

MTV turned 30, no one seemed to care.

I turned 36.

The larger world was in its usual state of mayhem, and ridiculousness.

DADT was repealed.

The Evil Dead remake is back on.
It's sure to be glossy CGI schlock.

People had opinions on the budget shit in Washington as if they had a say in the matter, or something,.

Part 5: Little Bit More

Superheroes became real.

A bunch of horror/sf documentaries were announced.

Freddy vs Jason turned 8.
...which spun off into reviewing the entire Nightmare series, which spun off into doing all horror, which spun off....
Yeah, I'm rethinking the whole blog's mission now....

The Burger King (mascot) got whacked.

Troll 2 suddenly became entertainment.

I reminisced about "Plop!", and "Crazy".

Star Trek turned 45, 9/11 turning 10 stole its thunder.

Found Hyla.

Jim Shooter (I assume)  still doesn't like me.

Hurricane Irene failed to kill me.

Part 6: The Home Stretch

Hyla created "That Galaxy Next Door".

I ranted some more about how everything that ever made me miserable doesn't exist, it's just some ideas some fucking unimaginative morons came up with.
I gotta do this some more, it's fun.

I hit and surpassed 69 followers.

The previously mentioned dipshit Jesus freak with a death wish had another un-pocalypse.
We all laughed and pointed.

Hyla did this.

Andy Rooney died.

I did the aforementioned horror reviews for Halloween.

Kadaffi ate hot lead.

11/11/11 rolled around.

Evil Dead turned 30.

As mentioned, my horror reviews expanded out into an all encompassing beast, starting with Thanksgiving.

Part 7: Die, 2011, die!!

Overhauled Shmegalamonga more with the page-list bar.

I admitted what was going on since December of 2010, I call it "the year of hell", now.

Kim Jung Il croaked.

Sadly, so did Patrice O'Neal, Bill McKinney, Harry Morgan, and Chris Hitchens.

The expanding beast ate Christmas and New Years too.
Possibly the whole blog, we'll just have to see...

Part 7.5: A Review In Review

...which was an update on some things.

...oh, and Steve Jobs died.

So, that was another orbit around the sun for the human species....
See you next orbit.

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