Thursday, October 1, 2015

Updates Revenge (Part 1, 80's slashers).

Previous chapters.

Yep, its sure evolved a long way since that first Freddy review.

Anyhoo, let's get right down to the nitty-gritty...

"A Nightmare On Elm Street", is getting a re-reboot.

Robert Englund says he'd like to come back for part 9, or Freddy vs Michael Myers, or a prequel.
But he's been saying that since "Never Sleep Again", so I dunno why that made headline news on Facebook.

Also on the Robert Englund front....

"Fear Clinic", stunk.

Sorry, Unca' Robert, I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

BUT, in possible good news...

Englund's next flick is "Death House", coming in 2016.
It looks like "The Expendables Of Horror", that Bruce Campbell wanted "Bruce vs. Frankenstein", to be.

Guess everyone got sick of waiting for him, so they slapped together their own.

Check out the cast...

Robert Englund (duh!), Kane Hodder, Danny Trejo,  Barbara Crampton (girl from Re-Animator!), Bill Moseley (Chop-Top from TCM2!), Dee Wallace (mother from ET & Cujo!!), Ken Foree (Dawn Of The Dead), Michael Berryman (Hills Have Eyes), Doug Bradley (Pinhead), Torsten Voges (anarchist in Big Lebowski), Camille Keaton (I Spit On Your Grave), and Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface).

*Crosses fingers* please don't suck.

Also, Robert's interviewed in....

"Scream, Queen: My Nightmare On Elm Street".

Formerly, "There Is No Jesse".

They've totally finished this up, but they've got a kickstarter going for completion, and bonuses.
Go help out if you can.


"Friday the 13th", is getting a re-reboot, and no, it's not found footage style, so calm down.

This will be the 13th one, so I hope they do something special with it.

They are intending to release it on Friday the 13th of 2016, so they are somewhat aware of things.

Also, there's the "Friday The 13th", TV series, which is going to take a meta approach, with events taking place at a "real", Crystal Lake that inspired the movies, with a killer that inspired the movie Jason.
It's going to be on CW, no premiere date set.


From here...

I've seen "Leviathan", now, is it boooooooorring.
I was stunned how boring.
Everyone talks quiet as hell, very reserved and bland, no humor, just...ugh.
Literally almost put me to sleep.
"Never Sleep Again", was so much more fun.

That's why "Leviathan", is off my list.

That's not to say you won't like it, but for me, I much preferred the class reunion atmosphere of "Never Sleep Again", and "Crystal Lake Memories".
The information was interesting, sure, but I want to be entertained too.
That's not a dumb expectation, that's the point of the original films involved, dammit.

"Halloween", is getting a re-reboot.
Title is "Halloween Returns".


"Child's Play", is getting a part 7.

Ugh, give it up, "Curse Of Chucky", was rancid.

Anyway, description from IMDB...

"After the events of "Curse of Chucky," Chucky the killer doll returns once again to terrorize his wheelchair-bound human daughter".

Bleh. Fneh.

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre", is getting its quadzillionth reboot.

A prequel, titled "Leatherface", about Leatherface's childhood.
Cuz everyone just squealed with delight at child Darth Vader.

"Ash vs Evil Dead".

Ho-ly shit, Evil Dead 4 is happening as a TV series.
Did you ever even dream of it through the 00's?
I, like most of us, had given up long ago.

But, here we fucking are.

Stars Bruce Campbell, Lucy Lawless, and Mimi Rogers.

Doesn't premiere until Halloween.
So, I'll retro-link a review right...


If you're reading this in the future, the above will take you right to it.

"Phantsam Ravager", has been pushed up to 2016.

Jesus Christ....

"You're So Cool, Brewster", about "Fright Night", and from the Makers of "Leviathan".

As I said in the same comment...

Hopefully, where this was an American cast, and a horror-comedy, it'll be more lively.

So, that's all the categories off the old list.

Now, as I said last time...

I'm sure some cool new retro-80's franchise will come along.
But, for now, we're in a holding pattern.

Well, after that dry spell, we've got some stuff now.

Final Girl (2015)

About a chick trained as a secret agent who lets herself be kidnapped by some slasher movie style serial killers, and then punishes them.


Looks like fun.
The idea is neat, but I've heard the execution is *wavey hand*.
I'll check it out anyway.

The Final Girls (2015)

About a girl from 2015 whose dead mother was in an 80's slasher movie when she was young, and modern girl and her friends get sucked up into the world of her mother's movie, and they have to survive the movie's killer, and also save her mother.

The movie parodied is very obviously "Friday The 13th", right down to the "ch-ch-ch, ha-ha-ha".

It's "The Last Action Hero", if it were horror, and didn't suck.


Okay, now THAT one actually gives me goosebumps of excitement.
I can easily tell that's the better of the two.

Doesn't come out 'til Halloween though.
Gonna have to do some post-Halloween updates on that too.

Scream Queens (2015)

Mixed reviews, low ratings, pilot bombed, haven't seen it.

Well, "Hannibal", died of low ratings, and that was the best show ever made, so...

It's got Jamie Lee Curtis, so, maybe if it survives, they'll have more real scream queens guest star.
Be cool if they could get in all of 'em.

I was bitching last time about 80's horror being stuck in limbo, but with all these sequels, prequels, reboots, and meta-parodies, we're in good shape this year and next.

Great time to be alive.

Tomorrow, Revenge Of The Classic Monsters.


B. D. said...

Camille Keaton? Really? Holy crapanoli.

Gee, maybe "The Mangler" will get a reboot. I bet they'd get Englund to do that, too!

"It FOLDED HER like a SHEET!!!!!!!"

Diacanu said...

At this point, you could get Englund to be Marquis De Sade again, and rape The Mangler in "The Mangler vs Tobe Hooper's Night Terrors".

B. D. said...

I forgot "The Mangler" was a Hooper film--I keep forgetting about the *existence* of Tobe Hooper, actually. Ever hear all the stories saying that he didn't actually direct "Poltergeist" and that Spielberg actually directed it? Way more fascinating than the dumb "the cast is cursed" urban legend crap.

Good lord does the old 1968 British film "If...." starring Malcolm McDowell have a bleak middle finger of an ending. Prescient too, but not regarding Britain.

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