Sunday, October 25, 2015

Fun Sized Movie Treats (Part 23)

And part two of today's two-parter.
Lickety split.

Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Slumber Party 1, I first saw at County Road (now 1st Stop (scroll to the very end of that post)) on a spinner rack as a kid.

They were yet another store that experimented with video rental.
Grocery stores, drug stores, hardware stores, they all did it.

That cover burnt into my head.
I've seen the movie now,

Pretty standard formula slasher fare.
Happens in the suburbs like "Halloween".
Killer uses a drill, but only towards the end.
A decent bit of T&A, but Friday 5 has more and better.
The girls aren't totally retarded, but they're not Nancy from Nightmare 1 level smart either.

Although, and this stood out, one of the girls was obsessed with her Playgirl mag.
Holy shit, sex-positive feminism, I remember those days! What ever happened to that?

Nowadays, it's all these stuffy, uptight, miserable, sour-pussed, spoiled, first-world millenial SJWs.
(See "Green Inferno", for my rant on that fuckin' mess)

Anyway, back to County Road/1st Stop.
Here's Thanksgiving 2 where I talk about all the candy and pastries I got out of the place.
And I got a lot of Garbage Pail Kids out of there, so here's the 30th anniversary post.

Good times, good times...

Now, Slumber Party 2 is where it gets fuckin' weird.

The Andrew Dice Clay looking dude with the drill guitar?
Yeah, that's in the flick.
As is the guy.
Although, none of those girls are.
Models fill in for the actresses for the poster.
Odd, but whatever.

Now, where it's weird, is one of the girls is supposedly a survivor from the first movie, but she flashes back to the break-dancing Elvis with the drill-tar from this movie.
The first movie didn't have break-dancing Elvis with the drill-tar.

So....are we to believe there's a missing "Slumber Party 1.5", that explains the origin of break-dancing drill-tar Elvis?
Because they heavily imply some previous adventures of this character, but he comes out of nowhere.
He's not the guy from part 1, cuz he's fucking dead.
And he was boring, and used a regular drill.
So you can't even claim it's his ghost.

What the physical fuck??

Anyway, the movie is fucking miserable.
I mean, on one level, the drill-tar Elvis is a weird and fun villain, and it's fun to watch him ham it up.
Almost as fun as Freddy in the funnier sequels.
And the heroines are a girl band, and it's fun 80's cheese to hear them sing. keeps being a fucking dream.
The survivor bitch keeps having PTSD dreams, and all these great kills he does keep not being real, so literally nothing happens in the first hour of this fuckin' movie.
You're literally watching nothing happen.
Then, out of nowhere, he's real, and everyone else can see him, and they have to try to survive his assault.

Then....fuck it, I'll spoil it.
Then, all THAT was a dream.
So, you just watched an hour and a half of nothing.

What a waste of a great villain.
What a great franchise they could have had.
Lemme look up the further sequels...
Yeah, it's a string of different drill-killers, but drill-tar Elvis never comes back.

Total waste of a franchise.
If I had control, I'd make "Slumber Party 1.5", and "Slumber Party 2.5", and make them a sequel and prequel to drill-tar Elvis.
He needs a trilogy of his own.
That would fix everything.

Anyway, has to be mentioned, Nicely's had this one back in the day.
And, I'm glad I finally saw those.
I think I've watched the whole damned store now.

Next up, Kitty Pryde's grandpa.

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