Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Fun Sized Movie Treats (Part 9)

"Ooo! Piece of candy!".
-James Woods.

Just two today, but they're doozies.

More Warren-verse.

Yep, we're still doing this.

The Demon Murder Case (1983)
See here, here, and here.
Said it all in those. It's the origin of all of this.

The Haunted (1991)
Almost a decade after "The Demon Murder Case".
I think they were waiting for the stink of that trial to wash away.
Stink washes off for lazy stupid people that don't pay attention, and most of America is that, and the cynical bastards that run the media count on this.
I mean, look at how Chris Brown is still making albums.
Fuck this culture.

So, this time, the usual hysterical Catholic family (they make a concerted point every goddamned movie of showing these goobers singing in church) is being chased around by a cloud of black smoke that has whispers coming out of it, and only Catholic ooga-booga rituals can get rid of it.
Sure enough, the Warrens are there to glom onto this situation.
And yep, back in '91, that whispering cloud crawled around in my mind and into my nightmares, because I bought the "true story", bullshit.
I hadn't passed superstition like a kidney stone yet, and still naively trusted TV.

The Televised Warren-verse fucked me twice.
Sonsabitchin bastids.

I re-watched this on Youtube, and man, is it lame.
What does the whispering cloud actually DO?
Mostly nothing.
Except once, it turned into a woman, and fucked the father/husband.
And that's either him covering over an affair with ghost bullshit, or most likely, a sleep paralysis dream.
I conjecture that the whole thing is a manifestation of sexual repression.
Not just the female on male ghost humping, but the whole thing.
Just like the witch trials, just like the nuns in "The Devils".
Don't allow birth control, tell people not to fuck for pleasure, don't allow people to jerk and finger, and then keep them away from even exciting media products, people start seeing fucking ghosts to relieve the boredom.
Then, once one sees it, it turns into mass-hysteria.

Some housewife just needed her pussy tended to, and they made a movie of it.
A shrink could have solved this one in five seconds.
But, just like the obligatory singing in church scene, they make a deliberate point to literally sneer at the idea of going to a shrink.
"I'm not crazy!! B-(".
There's a whole continuum of mental un-wellness that isn't full blown crazy, you anti-science regressive gomers.

Anyhoo, once again, the same answers for the baloney detection kit apply to these.
But you could kinda tell.

And no, these aren't good movies.
You can believe in this shit, and these still suck.

If your beliefs make you lower your cinematic standards down to this schlock, your beliefs suck.
It's that basic.
I'm drawing that line.

Up next, the exciting conclusion of this series.

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