Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Fun Sized Movie Treats (Part 26)

And, the other one for today.
Sorry it's late, had some bullcrap to do.

Shriek Of The Mutilated (1974)

Same origin story as "Screamers", it was at Morrison's on the same spinner rack.

Now both of these make you think they're soul scarring gore movies, right?

Yeah, nope.

This one's about a bunch of nerds trying to photo or capture a fuckin' Yeti.
In the woods of America during...I guess autumn.
Yeah, fuck waiting for winter, and pretending it's the North Pole.
We gotta shoot this fucking thing for release next month.
Anycrap, as can be expected, the Yeti bumps them off like Jason.
Then, there's a big Scooby-Doo-ish Twilight Zone-y twist at the very end.
I won't spoil it.

Is there any mutilation?
If there is, it's always out of sight, and pretty much PG rated for what you get to see.

Is there a SHRIEK of the mutilated?
Yelps, whines, eeks, arghs, but shrieks?

Does the Yeti look as good as implied by the painting?
Fuck no.
Oh, FUCK no.
Holy SHIT no.
The Mugatu from classic Star Trek is Oscar-worthy compared to this thing.

This flick looks like it was done for the budget of "Moron Movies".
Youtube nerds do better.
James Rolfe (Angry Video Game Nerd) made better crappy home movies in his single digit ages.

The ONLY reason to watch this, is the redheaded nerdy girl with the giant glasses.
Seriously, King-Kong could use those suckers as contacts.
Her character has the most personality of anyone in this.
Everyone else is a fuckin' trout.
Lyn Kelly is the character's name.
Remember it.

Sadly, she's not the survivor girl, but dammit, she should have been.
Far as I'm concerned, she's the star.
In my alternate time version, she pulls through, and is found sleeping in the Yeti's hide.

And the less said about the fake-mute pretending to be some kind of Native American, the better.
Curse you, America's cultural insensitivity.

Anyway, back in the day, the title struck me funny, and the fake sequel popped into my head of "Gurgle Of The Beheaded".

I tried to get a story-game using that title going on a board in the old AO-Hell days, but, that whole deal caved in on me, and I never got to see the results.
Regular ass Google-internet can't hack into AO-Hell content, and its probably been oblivion-ized anyway.
Lost to history.

Maybe I'll re-constitute it as a Quantum Dissolve chapter someday...

Anycrap, if you wanna see this thing, Youtube has it.


Next up, let's do the time warp again...okay, let's not.


Be eDee said...

If you can remember any text from your story, you can always Google it in quotes....see if that turns something up....I've found stuff I posted on USENET decades ago doing that...

Diacanu said...

I can't remember a damned thing about it, its been too long.

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