Monday, April 21, 2014

Flicks I've watched (Part 29)

Part 28.

The Demon Murder Case (1983)

See here, and here.

Youtube finally had the whole flick, so I finally sat down, and watched this piece of shit.

Oh, it's miserable, it's just fucking miserable.
I had to riff at it to get through it.

A G-rated, fucking no-budget, no-effects, ripoff of "Exorcist", down to the letter.
"Exorcist", without puke and cussing is pretty stale.
The one obvious difference, the framing story of the real life case, which was just a stupid asshole trying to get off on a "the devil made me do it", defense, after killing some pushy douche who was making a clumsy sloppy play for his girl.
Or, so we're told.
You don't know what the fuck to believe.

Dig the opening crawl to this travesty....

"This film contains some fictional scenes depicting demonic possession. It is suggested by the stories of people who claim to have witnessed so called demonic possession. These claims are not accepted by religious or medical authorities who attribute such behavior to different spiritual and psychological causes".

Translation: you're about to see a bunch of steaming fuckin' bullshit. Put on your galoshes, and your clothespin, and grab the fly swatter.

Cloris Leachman's character of the skeptical reporter was about the only one I could stand.
And the judge who threw the defense out, and gave Kevin Bacon 25 years.
Everyone else was an indignant credulous idiot.

Hey, dummies, even if possession were real, you have to PROVE it.
Hearsay, and feelings aren't evidence, fuckfaces.
The superstitious among us still haven't learned this.

Oh, yeah, I learned Dick Clark executive produced this cow pie.
Yes, THAT Dick Clark, I IMDB-ed it.
For SHAME, Dick.
*Head shake*

I'm SO ashamed this piece of schlock scared me as a kid.
Glad I finally saw it, and conquered it though.

And on that score, on to.....

Burnt Offerings (1977)

See here, and here.

Yep, I wanted to finally whup this one too.

Creepy, moody, overall spooky, but....toooootal ripoff of "The Shining".
Right down to the creepy photographs being the final frame.

Oh, and Dan Curtis (of "Dark Shadows", and Jack Palance "Dracula") directed this.
Had his style all over it.

Interesting to see.
Again, glad I saw it to conquer it.
Nowhere near as bad this time.
Didn't bother me at all.
At least it was decent, and had cool actors, and was entertaining.
"Demon Murder Case", was fuckin' torture.

Tales From The Crypt (1972)

See here.

Um, not totally terrible.
I expected a lot worse from the reputation.

Not quite as good as "Tales Of Terror", and/or "Twice Told Tales", but not exactly "Torture Garden", level corny either.
Nothing great, but watchable.

Not as good as the 80's reboot for sure.
Or "Creepshow".

I didn't remember where or when I saw this before, but I'm pretty sure I've seen it.
Scenes rang a bell.
It clicked.
Well, now my memory is recharged.

Vault of Horror (1973)

See here.

"Tales From The Crypt 2: Electric Boogaloo".
There's even a scene where a guy sits down to read the novelization of "Tales From The Crypt", complete with the poster art on the cover.
*Comedy trumpet*

Tch,...yeah, not as good as "Tales".
Which was already kinda cheesey.
It's...almost "The Monster Club", bad.
Yeah...'s got Tom Baker.
He's always cool.
It's about all you can look forward to.

Well, least now I've seen it.

So, there, that's those.

Still blocked on QD chapter 26, so needed something for my brain to do.

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