Friday, August 1, 2014

Flicks I've watched (Part 40)


Part 39.


So, I got to thinking "what would be a fitting flick/set of flicks to view for this, the 40th entry"?

Ideally, it would bring the series full circle.
Also, since the pattern kept emerging within the last few, of the magic year being 1983, it/they should be from that year.
Also-also, it/they should be one/ones that got play on HBO in that year.
Finally, it/they should be one/ones I haven't seen in so long, I've damned near forgotten them, and should be obscure to find, even if they're well remembered.

Well, damned if I didn't luck-stumble into two that fit the bill for all of those.

1983, heavy HBO airplay, haven't seen 'em in over 30 years, fairly well buried in the fog of history, and loops back to my "Star Wars ripoffs", category.


Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone (1983)


With Peter Strauss, Molly Ringwald, Ernie Hudson, and Michael Ironside.
Produced by Ivan Reitman, and score by Elmer Bernstein.

A space station is blown up, we never quite find out if it's by malfunction, or saboteurs.
Three space princesses escape in a pod, land on a shithole desert planet, are kidnapped by mutants, a ragamuffin Han Solo clone goes searching for them, he picks up Molly Ringwald as his sidekick, they pick up Ernie Hudson as a third teammate, and they must overcome several annoying mini-bosses before finally facing Michael Ironside as a creation out of the mind of the creepy kid from "Toy Story".

Pretty good, for the budget.
Better than "Yor: The Hunter From The Future", by leaps and bounds, not quite as good as "Beastmaster", in the effects department, but it's a bit more fun in the character department.
Yeah, about on par with "Beastmaster", except sci-fi instead of fantasy.

It lags in the middle for a bit, but the start and finish are engrossing enough.

The Bernstein score made it feel like a live-action extra chapter of "Heavy Metal".

Molly Ringwald's character can be annoying, but she's supposed to be.
I was charmed and delighted by her, but, I still carry my crush for her from 1983 too, so...that had to be a factor.

Anyway, worth the re-watch for me.
Your mileage may vary.


Metalstorm: The Destruction Of Jared Syn (1983)


Okay, these two did the same trick to me as "Child Of Glass", and "Daughter Of The Mind".
They fused in my mind into one movie, so I had to see both again to peel them apart.

Similar titling conventions, the same year, almost identical dirty "Road Warrior", meets "Star Wars", look to them, and the first has a guy with metal teeth, and two claw arms, this one has a green guy with metal teeth, and one claw arm.
Oh, and both pimped being 3-D at the theaters.

Easy for them to blur.

Except, "Spacehunter", was the better flick.
Hands down.
I almost passed out on this one.

Only famous faces in it are Kelly Preston, and Richard Moll.
And Tim Thomseron I guess.

Directed by Charles "Puppetmaster", Band.
Yeah.
So, y'see...

Oh, and spoilers.
Come on, the flick is 31 years old...
The title is a lie.
Jared Syn gets away.
Were there supposed to be sequels?
Wasn't Charlie Band the eternal optimist!

Summary.
"Spacehunter", filled my heart with blood.
"Metalstorm", almost put me into a coma.

Was the x-factor Molly Ringwald?
Could very well be.
I leave it for you, dear reader, to decide.
Watch the flicks.

Now, a recap of the previous 39 chapters, like I did with "Adding to my collection (Part 20)".

Hmm, and looking back over these, this whole thing started as a quest to conquer fear, and replenish my memories, and I've done both, the latter to death, so....I hope I'm actually done with these.

Next time,...hopefully, nothing!

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Posted by Diacanu at 5:57 PM 0 comments
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Thursday, July 31, 2014

Flicks I've watched (Part 39)


Part 38.

Couple quick ones...


Hollywoodland (2006)


Wanted to see it in context with "Dawn Of Justice",  cuz Affleck is Superman in this.
Well, George Reeves, but y'know.

About the George Reeves murder mystery.

Well acted, but pretty boring.

*Wavey hand*


The Brother From Another Planet (1984)


See here.

This was the last blaxploitation movie.
It came along late, but I count it.

I was on a blaxploitation kick from that latest double DVD set, so I dug this up to continue the theme, and refresh my memory.

Pretty good, but not the masterpiece some critics elevate it to.
Glad I saw it again.

Of the two, I'd recommend the latter over the former.

And, that's those.
Up next, number 40.
I'd better find something good to watch to make it worthwhile....

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Posted by Diacanu at 3:39 PM 0 comments
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Adding to my collection (Part 20)


Ah, 20! A milestone!

Let's get them all together for a recap.
I got sloppy with the links along the way, so it needs fixing anyway.
I know, when you add up the bargain bin bounties, and the latest acquisitions, you actually end up with that part 9 should have been part 7, but, adding on "my Christmas loot", and "The Frank Miller Batman trilogy", evens it out.

On to 20....


4 film favorites: Urban Action Collection.


What, it's racist to say "blaxploitation", now?
Whatever.

Excellent set, loved it.
Totally needed these babies for my collection.

In the order I watched them...

Black Belt Jones (1974)

See here under "Blaxploitation Karate".

This is the REAL "Black Dynamite".
Fucking excellent.
I swear, he even makes the "soo-eee!", sound when he punches.

Hot Potato (1976)

Essentially "Black Belt Jones part 2", but not billed that way for some reason.

This one takes a major tone shift, and is more of a screwball comedy bordering on farce.
Goofball slapstick, 3 Stooges style sidekicks, cartoony sound effects, cartoony score, it's like live-action Hanna-Barbera.

But then, it weirdly and jarringly throws in syrupy romance, and tragic character deaths.
It's all over the map.

Fascinating, funny in an unintended "WTF??', way,  but, not great.
A good one to MST with friends.

Three The Hard Way (1974)

See here. First entry, can't miss it.

Wow, did this ever live up to, and surpass my expectations.
It really is blaxploitation "Avengers".

They save the negro race, they kill all the Nazis, it's beautiful.
You'll weep in awe.

Shit, I wanna watch it again right now....

Black Samson (1974)

See here under "Love Machines!".
Actually, even though Black Samson does get some nookie, it turns out he's a one woman man.
The poster lied!

Pretty damned good, he's feverishly anti-drug, and anti-Italian mob, and fights to keep his neighborhood clean, and uses a bo staff with a carved lion head on one end to literally beat the bastids.

Now, I'm pro legalization, and anti-drug war, BUT I am also anti-drug cartel, BUT that mafia shit comes with prohibition.
So, I don't shed a tear for any mob scumbags Black Samson beat up in this, and I'm not for the poisoning and decay of the black streets, but SO much of that would go away if it were all legalized, and addicts were treated like sick people instead of criminals.

Failing that....go Black Samson go.

It's sad in hindsight.
Drugs did destroy the black neighborhoods.
Particularly crack.
One is almost tempted to buy into the "invented/planted by the CIA", theories.

Shit, it ain't too far away from the mad scientist villainy in "Three The Hard Way".

Anyhoo, putting them in order of goodness.
"Three The Hard Way", definitely the best. Buy the whole set for this if nothing else.
Then "Black Belt Jones".
Then "Black Samson".
Then "Hot Potato". Definitely dead last.


4 film favorites: Sylvester Stallone Collection.


Funny, the order I watched these in ended up being the order of goodness too.
So, that saves me some work.

Demolition Man (1993)

See here.

I bought the whole set for this. The rest were bonus features.
Still just as good.
Ages like a fine wine.
Only one in the set with commentary.

Tango & Cash (1989)

It didn't seem promising at first....but then I ended up loving it!!

It almost seems paint-by-numbers dumb 80's action at first...but then it starts to have a Cowboy Bebop sense of humor about itself, and it's a great fucking ride.

I loved it, cheese and all.
Very underrated.
I actually think it's better than the whole damned "Lethal Weapon", series.

I also happen to think this is the movie that "Extreme Prejudice", tried to be, and failed miserably at.

Probably works better now that the 80's are far enough gone, that they can be appreciated for their distinct little world, and you can see the parodying better.

Over The Top (1987)

It's Rocky with arm wrestling.
Cheesey as hell, has all the Sylvester Stallone tropes; hero with a heart of gold dispensing blue collar wisdom, mustache twirling villains, an alienated son, a training montage, heart and hope magically being more powerful than muscle, Billboard friendly songs,....but I love it.
Stallone flicks just make you feel great.

I dunno, maybe it's nostalgia.
Gotta be a big chunk of it.
Still, I have a wistful affection for this one.
In my world, this is Rocky 4.5.

The Specialist (1994)

Worst of the lot.
Hands down.

But...this is a weird one.
On every level, it's just terrible, but I couldn't hate it, and it didn't make me miserable to watch.

Crappy pulp potboiler dialog, cheesey performances of said crap dialog, unromantic romance, unsexy sex (bad interpenetrate dance poses no one does, no thrusting, no gasping, slow motion, and Stallone's ass is always in the way of the chick), unrealistic physics, indestructible good guys, takes itself way too seriously (as opposed to "Tango & Cash").

Has all the ingredients of schlock...but I couldn't hate it.
Don't know why.
Guess it was competently directed, and James Woods was an engrossing (if somewhat annoying) villain.
He reminded me of evil James Woods in Family Guy.
Yeah, that's what bumped it up a couple stars to a couple stars.

Watchable.
Once, and never again.

Get this for "Demolition Man", and be pleasantly surprised by "Tango & Cash".
Your mileage may vary on the other two.


And, that's those.
My birthday DVDs are still late.
Soon...soon.

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Posted by Diacanu at 11:38 AM 2 comments
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My new quest (update/clarification)


See here for the first bit.
No, really read/re-read that, I don't wanna have to re-hash.

So, I've had time to lay in bed at night, and ponder if that future undertaking is the same as Ebert's damned fool moralistic crusade against "I Spit On Your Grave".

I don't think it is.

Go back to my original review of "The Demon Murder Case", I'm not going after that flick because it sucks (it does though), I'm not going after Lorraine Warren because all of these ghost movies based on her cases suck (haven't  seen 'em all yet), I'm not even going after her because real life ghostbusting is bullshit, and she's a quack (it is, and she is).

Ed and Lorraine Warren tried to help a murderer walk Scott-free.

Let me repeat that.

Ed and Lorraine Warren tried to help a murderer walk Scott-free.

Okay?
That crosses the fucking line.

It's not just ghost stories with a flashlight in the teller's face, it's not just "thrills n' chills", it's not just "harmless fun", and it's not a subjective taste thing about movies.
This bitch is a moral slime.
Not in a vague church-lady "eew, yucky, people are having sex somewhere, I can smell it", way, but a A PERSON IS FUCKING DEAD way.
Okay?

It ceased being cute with that little move.

And (unlike Ebert) I'm not out to (financially) destroy the cinematic art of the filmmakers.
I have no delusions that I could if I tried anyway.

And I'm not out to destroy Lorraine Warren's ability to make a living.
Again, I couldn't pull that off if I tried. 
Some people are always going to be superstitious suckers, and some of them will inevitably have too much money.
I may as well try to fight the laws of magnetic attraction.

What I want, is for people to stop fucking thinking Lorraine Warren is Mother Teresa.
(Although, Mother Teresa isn't Mother Teresa, but that's a whole other thing).

I probably can't make a dent in that either.
It's probably pointless and hopeless.

But....I've got to try.
The alternative is to sit back, and say/do nothing.
I can't do it.
I'll go crazy.

If I can get one person to employ critical thinking to this ghost/possession horseshit who didn't before, I can sleep a little better at night.
That will have been worth it.


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Posted by Diacanu at 7:45 AM 0 comments
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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Happy 39th birthday to myself!

No gummi bear or Reese's cake this year.
Did have a bucket of Ben & Jerry's Hazed & Confused.

Last year, I navel gazed about how I no longer give a shit about society's opinion.
Now, I don't even give a shit that I don't give a shit.

There's no longer a speck of me left that's on the defensive, and I feel even pluckier about not taking anyone's shit.

My new philosophical mantra is, I'm not on this Earth to leave everything the same.
Totally going to incorporate that into my outlook going forward on Jade-Shade.
Got a lot of new ideas for that I'm excited about.

Oh, yeah, need to log it down somewhere, this post is as good as any...
All the weird leftover memory flickers in my head bouncing around and driving me nuts...turned out to be real, and I hunted them all down and ghostbusted the fuckers.
Quests over.
Brain de-bugged.

Next year, is the big four-oh.
And, I don't even mind. :-) Read More......
Posted by Diacanu at 11:46 AM 3 comments
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Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Retroactive crossovers!


Here's some I just pieced together.
MTV crossovers.





...were "on", David Letterman.

David Letterman...





Beavis & Butt-Head "met", Cher.

Cher...


...was in the audience of the Superman/Ali fight.

So, Beavis & Butt-Head connect to the uber-canon, and connect together the Letterman and Ali crossovers.

Cher also met the Scooby gang, so that ties her into all the stuff from the last post.


Butt-Head cameo-ed in...

 
...the premier episode of "The Head".

"The Head", was half of....


..."Oddities".

"Oddities", also featured...


..."The Maxx".


Putting both The Head, and Maxx into the uber-canon, and thus stitching together both halves of "Oddities", into one world.

And Beavis & Butt-Head spun off...


..."Daria".

So, "Beavis & Butt-Head", "Oddities", and "Daria", are inter-connected, and part of the uber-canon.

Now...if only there were a way to work Aeon Flux in there....it'll come to me someday...


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Posted by Diacanu at 3:47 PM 2 comments
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And the crossovers also just keep on coming!

(See here for the other half of the title gag)

Curse you, IDW, curse yooouu!
You're a factory that cranks out crossovers just to vex me!!

Super Secret Crisis War (2014)


Teaming up Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack, Dexter, Ben 10, and Ed, Edd n Eddy vs. their respective villains.

Phew, hoo boy...
Okay, previously..

Dexter met Blue Falcon and Dynomutt.
Blue Falcon and Dynomutt met the Scooby Gang.
The Scooby Gang met Johnny Bravo.
The Scooby Gang met Batman. (comics, and show)
The Scooby Gang met Harvey Birdman.
Harvey Birdman met Blue Falcon and Dynomutt.
Harvey Birdman met the cast of Johnny Quest.
Race Bannon and Johnny Quest have been on The Venture Bros.
Harvey Birdman met Fred Flintstone.
Fred Flintstone met The Jetsons.
Fred Flintstone met Billy & Mandy.
Billy and Mandy had General Skarr from Evil con Carne as a regular guest.

So, this puts, Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack, Dexter, Ben 10, Ed, Edd, n Eddy, Blue Falcon, Dynomutt, The Scooby Gang, Johnny Bravo, Harvey Birdman, Johnny Quest, The Venture Bros, The Flintstones, The Jetsons,  Billy & Mandy, and Evil Con Carne all into the same uber-canon as Batman.

No more! Please, no more! I'm OCD, if you make 'em, I gotta add 'em!

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Posted by Diacanu at 12:35 PM 0 comments
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