Thursday, April 1, 2010

Star Trek: We were almost fucking there.

Tch, almost....

I mean, look how close we got.

PADDs?

Got 'em.
I-Phones.

Them big honkin' PADDS from TOS?

Got 'em too.
Tablet PCs.



Tricorders?

Well, a tricorder is pretty much just a PADD with a scanner/sensor, really.

And, a camera is a visible light sensor, and I-Phones have a camera, so...that's as good as your average Joe/Jane needs.

But, if you wanna get fancy, you can get digital cameras with night vision.

So, bam, tricorders.

Communicators?

I-Phones again.

But, we even got them flip-top jobbies too.

Desktop computers?


Ayep.



Portable medical scanners?



Blammo!



So, what's left?

Phasers?

Eh, not quite....

Transporters?

Pretty much impossible.
Which is just as well, cuz they'd open up a genie bottle.

Warp drive?

Pretty much impossible.

Replicators?












Based on transporter technology? Just as impossible as transporters. Duh.

Based on nanotech? Plausible.
But not for awhile.

Gravity manipulation?

Erm....unlikely....and one of the (many) reasons warp is impossible.

But...can we make substitutions?

Well, we can replace tractor beams with bucky-cables.

We can replace graviton generators with centrifuge gravity.


We can replace warp with the time dilation effects of relativistic speeds.

And we can (slowly) push up to those speeds with nuclear rockets, and planetary slingshots.

And lastly, we can replace transporters with VR controlled robots.


So, it's all doable, it's all just within reach.

...but we're not doing it.

They're decommissioning the shuttle fleet.

The government give less and less of a fuck about NASA, and the dipshit public is being brainwashed to not give a shit either.

So, they've fucked us.
Our leaders have fucked us.
They've trapped us here with them.

Trapped with our tormentors forever.

Like in "I have no mouth, and I must scream".

That's the future.

And it'll be a slow circling of the bowl before we hit that chasm too.

Duhr de duhr de duhr! Watching shitty TV!
Duhr de duhr de duhr!!
Reading shitty politico books by retards!
Duhrdy duhr de duhrrr!!!

Yep, more of that.
Aren't you so excited?

Aren't you so hopeful?

Boy, I know I can't wait.
*Eye roll*

Yep, more of this.

Just dumb old Earth, and shitty little sociopaths and dipshits sucking on our blood to feed their shitty little leech egos.

What a wonderful hopeful fucking future.

Millennia of it sprawling before us.

Wheeeeee.

Fucking wheeeeee.

Don't like the sound of that?

Somebody, change it.

Prove me wrong.

One of you asshole billionaires fund private space travel.

Somebody launch a space-plane out of your garage.

Somebody fucking do something.

Somebody save the 21st century.

Somebody DO something.

The 2010's can't be THIS it just fucking can't be.

We can't lose it now.

We were so fucking close.

So. Fucking. Close.

Not now.
Not like this.

So fucking close.

So fucking close.

3 comments:

Lanz said...

I give you the entrepreneurial spirit to assuage your fears.

Diacanu said...

Fingers crossed.

Wouldn't it be something if Branson was our Cochrane?

Wouldn't you just shit?

Lanz said...

I would be pretty dang happy, that's for sure.

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