Friday, October 7, 2016

Candy Dish 2!




And, that's part 3 of 3, and I'm done posting for today!

Last year's-
Candy Dish 1.

And here's this year's two quickies.
Those Bravo lists in King Sized 2 more than make up for last year's bulk though.


Up next tomorrow, one more thing.


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King Sized Movie Glut 2.










Last year's-
King Sized Movie Glut 1.

...and here we go.


Bravo's 100 Scary Movie Moments (2004),
Bravo's 30 Even Scarier Movie Moments (2006),
Bravo's 13 Scarier Movie Moments (2009).


The Bigass Documentary Review Compilation.

The Bigass Bravo Horror Lists.

Ahh, I finally got these all done, and I finally injected them into a Halloween compilation.
Now, I really am done.
*Hands behind head, kicks feet up on desk*


Up next, compilation time...AGAIN!!


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Fun Sized Movie Treats Part 2 (Part 1)




Part 1 of a three-parter today!!

First up...


The House On Sorority Row (1983)


This one came recommended in the commentary for "The Final Girls".
Not bad, worth a look.

About some sorority girls who try to prank their bitch of a sorority mother, and accidentally kill her, so try to cover it up.
But, then a mystery killer starts bumping them off one by one.
Is the sorority mother really alive?
Is it the secret deformed son of the sorority mother created by an experimental fertility treatment?
Is it some random maniac pretending to be one of the first two?

You'll have to find out!

The female characters in this are done pretty well.
I don't remember there being anything frustratingly sexist.

But then, my memories are a bit foggy around the edges , since I had this one on the list since friggin' January. :-P

Like I said up top, worth a look.

Yeah, that's good enough for a fun sized review.
The End.


Next up, The Big One...again!!!


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Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Update Warriors (Part 6, The Brew Review).



Okay, so here's the deal with this new section.
The September 30th opening post used to be the update-athon before the main Halloween buildup, but now, update-athon is update-athon, so September 30th's remaining role has been as a diary of looking back at last year before looking ahead.
Well, now I'm putting that shit into this.

So, September 30th posts are retroactively Brew Reviews, so here's those.
And now, to make next year's Brew Review easier, I'll recap everything so far here, so I'll only have to update this year next year.
Got it?
Too bad.


Part 1, 80's Slashers.


So, it all started with I was lost for what to do, so I decided to just start shooting the shit about the Freddy Movies.
Then that led to all the slashers, then horror crossovers in comics, then superheroes, then that evolved into En-Mike-lopedia, and then Jade-Shade emerged from that, and then I've wittled away En-Mike-lopedia, and now only do horror in October, and superheroes in December,

Fourth year, I tried to quit Halloween entirely, but couldn't, so I streamlined it into update-athon, and that worked out well, so I did the sequels Update's Revenge, and Update Warriors.
Yes, the sequel titles are based on the Freddy sequels.
And, here we are.


Part 2, Classic Monsters.


So, slashers was fun, and I immediately knew I wanted to make Halloween marathons a tradition, and I can't exactly remember why, but I had Dracula on the brain, so I planned to make all of year 2 Dracula, because I assumed there'd be a lot to work with.

And there was, but as I progressed, I decided there weren't enough days, so I wanted to do all the classic monsters, and then even doing all of them, plus King-Kong and Godzilla, there was still some leftover space, so I updated slashers, and folded those updates into the first update-athon for slashers.

Then, of course, I did update-thon, Update's Revenge, and Update Warriors for Classic Monsters.
And, here we are.


Part 3, Masters Of Horror.


By year 3, I had a clearer game plan in my head for the rotating topics, and knew at the end of classic monsters I wanted to do the masters of horror.

...and holy shit, I didn't know what I was in for, and it damned near killed me.
But, I broke it down, and scheduled it to the fucking second, and I got that shit done, and with years of rest now for my brain to repair, I'm proud of it.
It's retroactively enjoyable.
No, I'm drama-ing it up, it was hard, but I had fun too.
And of course, I updated slashers and monsters, and folded those updates into the respective update-athons.

And then, I did update-athon, Update's Revenge, and Update Warriors for Masters.
And here we are.


Part 4, Based On A True Story.


So, here's where my big and bold plans overwhelmed me, and I crushed myself.
In hindsight, for this one to meet its original vision, I would have needed multiple guys working on it, but I didn't have multiple guys.
It would have been at least quadruple the size of Masters, and as I said, that one damned near killed me. So, I outright bailed on it, and made it the first update-athon, then I cheated the original topic idea back in at the very end.

But, then when Update's Revenge rolled around, I fixed it by doing a stripped down version of the original goal, and then I only had to do Update Warriors this year.
And here we are.


Part 5, Pumpkin Potpurri.


So, once I did update-athon once, I knew I was just going to do it forever, so by the end of year 4, the name "Pumpkin Potpurri", just came to me, and I had that planned out for year 5 immediately.

And, I didn't know I was going to add it on to the topics too, but by the time part 5 crept up, it became clear I needed the category, and then it popped into my head that year 4's "Odds N' Ends", was the precursor, so, bam, that fell into place.

Then, I did Update Warriors for Potpurri.
And here we are.


Part 6, Witch's Brew.


And now we're up to this one.

And I find I want to meet year 4's goal of getting these Halloween marathons off my back.
So, this will be the last hurrah of a big how-do-you-do for Halloween.

Just as update-athon streamlined things down, next year, I'm going to streamline the whole update-athon into Brew Review.

New logos for each year's categories, then just text updates for the movies.
Overall, September 30's prelude, then Brew Review, then the Ash review posts, then the horror thread update post, then free and clear until actual Halloween to write Jade-Shade.

I'm clearing all the bullshit out of my path that I can.

I'm doing this streamlining to Christmas too.
Can't have these damned time-sink holidays anymore.
I said this two years ago, now I'm using the iron fist.


But, since this is the last hurrah, I'm not done yet.
Next up, I'm doing another Candy Dish.

So, up very next, a movie recommended by a movie ;-)


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Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Update Warriors (Part 5, Pumpkin Potpurri).



Previous chapters.
"Three?", you say?
Yeah, obviously, I retroactively count "Odds N' Ends", as 1.

Last time, I said I was gonna swap this back around to four, but...nah, I'm keeping it in order of the Halloweens themselves.

So, again, if you weren't here last time, this is for the stuff that wouldn't neatly fit into the other categories.
Here we go...



Another Predator sequel is coming up the pike.
The script has been written.
Called "The Predator", and directed by Shane Black.
Slated for 2018.



"Resident Evil: The Final Chapter", comes out in 2017.
Look, Jason had two final chapters, so never believe that subtitle.
Even if Milla truly retires, they'll soft reboot it with a new character or something.
Then, somewhere along the way in that series, Milla will come back as an old lady.
Hollywood won't let cash cows die.



And, as the perpetual Pepsi to Milla's Coke, "Underworld: Blood Wars", comes out January.
Hmm, they're both wielding double handguns too...



The horror-comedy "Freaks Of Nature", came out on the tail end of 2015.
Formerly titled "Kitchen Sink".
It's an alternate near future where humans, vampires, and zombies share an uneasy truce, and then aliens invade, and fuck up the truce, and everyone fights everybody, then finally they unite against the aliens.
Surprisingly really good!
Had an unexpected bunch of cool celebrities in it too!
Key from Key & Peele, Dennis Leary, Bob Odenkirk, & Joan Kusak to name a few.
Good effects, this wasn't a b-movie! Indie, but not cheap indie!
Really cute! Might even be worth buying!



"Deathgasm Part 2: Goremageddon", is going to be a thing.
(Deathgasm 1)



They're doing a "Rocky Horror Picture Show", remake.
Made for TV, and titled "The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again".
Comes out October 20th.
Tim Curry is going to be in it as the criminologist.
Laverne Cox will be Frank N Furter.
...wonder if they'll follow it up with "Shock Treatment".



M. Night Shyamalan is rebooting "Tales From The Crypt".
That's perfect for him!
He's so obsessed with twists, and that's Crypt's whole thing!
Yes, M. Night, do that.
Do that forever.
You're home!



The Purge 3 changed its title to "The Purge: Election Year", and it came out, and apparently, it was a disappointment.
Meh, I'll check it out anyway.

Also, there's going to be a Purge TV series.
I'd check it out.



Been hearing really good things about "The Greasy Strangler".

The trailers are hilarious.
Trailer 1.
Red band trailer.



Billdude made me aware of "She Kills"!
About a chick out for revenge who kills bad guys with her snoosh.
It's "I Spit On Your Grave", meets "Father's Day".

Again, trailer is awesome.
Trailer.



The Grudge vs The Ring is going to be a thing.

All the drugs in meee!! All the bugs in meee!!



Everyone's jizzing all over "Lights Out", and "Don't Breathe", so I guess I should give them a shout out.


"Blair Witch", the third Blair Witch movie, was also a thing, and most people thought it sucked, but just not as hard as 2.
I have no interest.
Yawn.



Turbo Kid 2 is happening!!!!
Now THAT I'm excited about!!
(Turbo Kid 1)


Now, for text updates of stuff from last year, or just quickie updates I don't give a shit about.
  • There's going to be an Exorcist TV series, and I have no enthusiasm whatsoever.
  • "Crimson Peak", did okay, but was critically "meh".
  • No word yet on "The Colour Out of Space", triple remake.
  • X-files came back, and they want to do another season.
  • "The Last Witch Hunter", was a rectal prolapse.
  • "Scout's Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse", landed with a thud.
  • "Green Inferno", came and went like a fart in a wind tunnel.
  • "Pride and Prejudice And Zombies", was another "Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter".
  • "The Forest", was another critical "meh".
  • No word on the "Cabin Fever", remake.
  • Ditto "Five Nights At Freddy's".
  • Ditto "Night On Bald Mountain".

And that's...

THE END!


Tomorrow, Weee've got cauldron con-coct-tiooooon! Don't wanna dream no moooore!!


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Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The Update Warriors (Part 4, Based On A True Story).



Previous chapters.

The first three parts of my video collector's quadrilogy.
And now....

HBO.


80's HBO opening.

Okay, so the way I did it with Nicely's (pasting in every occurrence of "Nicely's", as one huge wad) was cumbersome as fuck, and took all day,

So, I'll just tell the overall story, and then toss up links to the finer details.

Me & my folks had HBO from 1983 to 1987.
And it all started with Fraggle Rock.
That was why we got it.

And, it ended with Fraggle Rock too.
Once it ended, so did HBO.

But, in those four years, I got to see a lot of movies.
Some good, a lot shitty.

Here they are.



Phew, damn!
I'm sure I missed a couple, but I scoured the whole blog best I could.

Anyway, nowadays, HBO is mostly known as the "Game Of Thrones", channel.
And, every movie on earth can be watched or bought online, so we don't lack for entertainment.
But 80's HBO was the beginning.
And I had access to it in an incredible time in movie history.
Good times.
It was fun going back through them.


Tomorrow, Weee've got pumpkin pot-pur-reeee! Don't wanna dream no moooore!!


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Monday, October 3, 2016

Big Winter Movies Part 2. (Part 1).


Part 0 (Ghostbusters)

And all the way back around, here we are at....


Ash vs Evil Dead (2016)


Same as last time, I'll review the episodes here in comments, then I'll do a full season review, and retro-link it back here, and in "80's slashers".

And once again, we begin with episode one....


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