THAT Galaxy Next Door.

Galaxy Next Door remodeled into a whole other blog with a new name.

 Check it! Read More......

Harry Hembock The Tape!!

Another relic from the archives!

I compiled this off of other tapes, and stuff off the radio back in the day over the course of a summer, and the result was this little gem that I intended to be the companion to the Hembooks.

Hey, I was experimenting in multi-media before the term was hip.

Hm...I'm kind of impressed with myself, some of these were really hard to come by back then, and I didn't have the internet....

So, here's a reconstruction of what was/is on that...
If any of these links ever die, you can Google 'em up yourself, someone will have 'em...

Side A:

Weird Al Yankovic- Fun zone.
Sara Lee
They Might Be Giants- Letterbox
Cheap Trick- Reach out
Squeeze- Tempted
Chock full o' nuts
Yello- Oh yeah
Black Sabbath- Iron Man
Jimmy Buffett- Margaritaville
Thomas Dolby- She blinded me with science.
Wall of Voodoo- Mexican radio
Kajagoogoo- Too shy
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz
The Pac Man Theme
Steve Miller Band- Abracadabra
When you're out of Shlitz, you're out of beer

Side B

Metallica- Master of puppets.
Blue Oyster Cult- Black Blade
Pink Floyd- Brain Damage
Men at work -Who can it be now?
David Lee Roth- Just a Gigalo
Weird Al Yankovic- Let me be your hog
Oingo Boingo- Dead man's party
Wagner- Ride of the Valkyries
Devo- Whip it
Bryan Adams- Summer of 69
Irene Cara- Flashdance
Knight Rider
Alice in Chains- No Excuses


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Space Invader!!

I found it!!

My old Space Invader Huffy bike (mentioned here)! 

Or, more accurately, a duplicate...

But, this is what she looked like...

My mighty steed.
I never bonded with a mode of transportation the way I did that bike.
I gotta find me a car someday I love as much as that bike.
Or, maybe I need a Vespa, or a "Rice Rocket", or something...I dunno... Read More......

SOWTHIFL #36

This is buried in "I H8 the 90's 3", but I wanted easier access to it, cuz it just makes me friggin happy.


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Yearbook: Little bit more 2011

Let's toss another one of these together..

Towel day.

4th of July.

Tested the new camera.

Superheroes became real.

"There is no Jesse", announced.

Spare anti-matter found in Earth's attic.

I'm a latecomer to "The Punisher- The End".

Three more fanboy targeted documentaries, I'm so there.

Freddy vs. Jason turns 8...

...and I proceed to review the whole nightmare series (part 1, part 2, part 2.5, part 3)

Burger King mascot axed.

Another lame goofy gay Republican.

I'm retroactively entertained by Troll 2.

Irene didn't kill me.

Reunion/reminiscence of "Plop!".

Ditto "Crazy".

Star Trek turns 45, no one cares. :(

9/11 turns 10, steals Star Trek's thunder.

Found Hyla.

Jim Shooter doesn't like me.

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So....

...I was doing the rounds...
Looks like I just got zinged/slammed by Jim Shooter.

So, do I blush in embarrassment, go "neato!", or absorb it as strength like a bad guy wrestler? How about all of the above? Read More......

Galaxy Next Door.

Linky!!!!

So, there's Hyla, found him.

And *poof* just like that, he's blogging cartoons.

And he's approved the usage of these.

So, yeah, all that's happened. :) Read More......

Clean.

Yeah, I don't believe in it.

I mean, yeah, I believe in taking showers, and washing your hands, calm the fuck down.

I mean like in "clean", language, "clean", comedy, etc.

To believe in that, I'd have to believe in dirty, and I don't.

And I don't really believe in making things "clean", for children.
In fact, the older I get, the less I believe it, and the less patience I have for the concept.

Yeah, I make a lame effort to warn when one of my posts will be explicit, but...why do I have to police my own fucking thoughts in an allegedly free country?
I mean, really?

I ain't gonna try too super hard, cuz I don't believe in it.

So, yeah, I'm that dangerous.
Run away.

Okay, now that the pussies are gone, let's continue.

The way I see it, humans are just smart animals, and animals are evolutionary survival mechanisms, so, a child is just a small survival organism.

What about that state of being, aside from soppy superstition, makes it so they have to be kept in this secluded censored state of "innocence"?

Phooey.
Kids from medieval times had hunted, and slaughtered, and cleaned animals by the time they were five or six.
Survival, bitches.

Shit, Romeo and Juliet were 13.

Hell, there's kids in this world that live like that or tougher now.

This is some homogenized, puritan, privileged, upper-middle-class, white, christian thing, that inexplicably infested over into the secular mind, and the lower classes somehow.
I blame 50's television.
Poisoned one generation, and it trickled down.

It has no basis in reality.
Total nonsense.

Non-fucking-sense.

Worthless intellectual garbage that's wasted a lot of money and time in the world.
I'm tired of it, and will only play along with a gun against my head.

My cousins grew up on a steady diet of R rated movies, South Park, you name it.
Pretty sure they played gory video games too.
They're all grown men now, they didn't go Columbine, they didn't pillage a village, so, fuck off with that noise.

Frank Zappa's kids turned out okay too.

And that's the whole "children", thing, I have even less respect for wimpy adults that want things "clean".

Eat my ass, you stunted snapperheads.

Go take a shower in a wet-suit while you want it all "clean", you risible assclowns.

I don't even get how "clean", got all mixed up in religion in the first place.
The logic train must have been absolutely fucking moronic.
I mean, if there were a God, don't you think he'd be like Doctor Manhattan?
He'd see "dirt", and "filth", as just a different pattern of atoms.
There'd be no weird emotional baggage to it, no "eew, that's icky!", he wouldn't fucking care.
So...why would he have emotional baggage attached to the CONCEPTS of things that are "dirty"??
And why would he attach that "dirty", FEELING to things that aren't EVEN fucking dirty??
And if all of the above, why would he pass it on to human beings to think of things as "unclean"?

And while he was tossing around pronouncements of "unclean", why didn't he make up better food safety restrictions than just avoid pork?
Why not explain germs?
"Oh, primitive people wouldn't have understood".
BULLSHIT!
Every school child is essentially a "primitive person", and they can learn about germs in half a fucking hour of a school day.
I fucking did.

Nope, it's all stupid fairy tales, and gut reactions, and cultural programming.
And you pull it apart, it's crap.

Everyone just dumbly goes along with it.
Have fun with that, I ain't doing it.

My blog is "dirty", and I ain't gonna protect you from it.

It's for people with a brain.
Adults, and advanced kids.

No babies of any age.

That's my philosophical position on the matter, you're free to disagree, but don't burden me with your opposition unless you can frame it as an argument, and not a bunch of knee jerk "you're going to hell", bullshit.

And if you throw out "you're going to heck", forget it, you're fucking banned.

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Ross

I can't remember how old I was when I first heard this story from the old man...

...I remember it was in the car on the way to somewhere....

 I think I may have been anywhere from 8 to 10, but I heard it again every couple years or so, til I was fourteen. 

Basically, it goes like this, there was a popular kid at Dad's high school, named Ross, but he was a total fuckin' dickhead, and he would give Dad shit, one day he even walks by him, curls his nose and goes "you're a fuckin' snake!".

Y'know, cutting high school hallway shit like that.

 Anyway, later on, Ross starts a fight with him, and all Ross's toadies and fanclub are like "Yay, Ross!! Yay, Ross!!".

 My Dad cleans his fucking clock with 3 punches.

 Do the zombies go "Yay (Mike's Dad)!!".

 Nooope. They go "awww, poor Ross!".

 Now...I wasn't openly told what the moral of this story was supposed to be, I always assumed it was generically "don't fight to be cool".
That seemed to be the vibe that was projected from it.

 But...I dissected the shit out of the events in the story in my head, and Dad didn't fight him to be cool, he fought him cuz Ross seemingly needed his beating.

Sometimes, you just need to beat up a Ross.

My high school experience was boring, annoying, and miserable, but I never had a Ross on my case.

I did observe how teenage notions of cool are fucking idiotic and meaningless.

None of that's worth fighting over, in the "taking the hill", sense, as far as I can see.

But, I wish I could say "yay Ross!", was just a high school or indeed, elementary playground thing.

It's a Hollywood, corporate board, and Washington thing too.

Lotta Rosses being yayed.
Went into detail on that here.

Seems to be Planet Ross.
Maybe that's what Dad was telling me...
Hmnh...

Nope, fuck it, Ross still needs his beating, and the keyboard is mightier than the sword.

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Fat Bernie's guide to love.

I'm mixed on this one, it's not for kids, but it's a kid memory...eh..parental discretion.

Okay, so, I'm 12-13, and at Sweetser, and Bernie, the fat kid, takes me aside on the pathway back from the building where the cafeteria is, to the building where our class is, and tells me the secret to women.

"First, you wanna cum in their mouth, they love it! They LOVE it! Then, cum on their face, their eyes, their belly, their tits, their hair, their arms, their hands, their feet, everywhere, cum all over 'em. They love it, They LOVE it!!".

Skeptically, and humoring him, I said "all over 'em eh? Okay, I'll remember that".

And I have.

So, there you go, all women, not just the ones in pornos, are bukkake cumsluts.

All of 'em. They love it. They LOVE it.

A little tip from Uncle Mike, handed down from Uncle Bernie.


Pass that along.

*Evil grin*
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Tch, dammit, Google.

Just when I thanked you for fixing something that was broke, you turn around, and fix something that wasn't broke.

Clicking an image to view it fullsize gets you a little thumbnail viewer thing, which is an imitation of the shitty way Facebook fucking does it.

Yeah, copy Facebook, brilliant.

And on 2 year old posts, it doesn't work at all.

Bypass it with right click, and "open in new tab".
Or new window for those with old browsers.


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SOWTHIFL #35

A Steve Martin double feature. Read More......

Greatest hits overhaul.

Well, that was easy... Turned "Greatest Hits", on the sidebar from this to this. Read More......

Greatest hits- Greatest hits!

Eh, no time like the present to overhaul these....

The original greatest hits.

Shrieks from the wall #6.
("There's nothing to know", and a couple others)

Postcards from Podsville 29.75.
(The Crest/four I's)

Postcards from Podsville #8
(On the homeopathic properties of blasphemy)

Inner-Space Part 3- Laughter, our natural defense against bullshit.

Let's Fast Forward.

Dicky-Pedia: The Rant.

The biggest bummy in the world!

Movie rules.

Little Red Cars.

The Hell rant.

The conspiracy rant.

The talk I wish someone had given me as a kid.

The Ayn Rand Rant.

The war on bullshit. (Mission statement for the blog)

Meaningless slogans.

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Piddly update of the day.

Added Shrieks #6 to "Greatest Hits".

Hmm, I gotta give that section a major overhaul, there's still links to the dead audio rants even....


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You know what's in your head!!!

Did you ever not know what you had, and you had what you wanted?

...*Smirk*


 So, it was about 1986, I think, and me n' my folks had gone camping at this campground, and we had Steve ( he of the Karate Kid incident, the Freddy initiation, the Kids In The Hall Snobbery, and the Tim & Eric humor)  in tow.


Well, getting right to the point of the story, our campsite was on a  hill, and it looked down on the lake, and also, upon a campsite below us at the shore of the lake, and on that site was a big-ass rock.

We had a perfect view of this rock, basically, and it even had a flat spot up top like a little stage.

 And this little kid, oh...memory is fuzzy now, anywhere from 5 to 7, would climb on the rock, boogie around in a wobbling circle, and sing...terribly...

But the funny part was, he would sing...this made up mish-mash that was...an impersonation of the radio...but the words were all wrong, and medley-ed together.

It was like what an alien might reproduce describing listening to our FM emissions.

Now...what I think he was trying to sing...was "do what you do", by Jermaine Jackson, and...some other stuff...

But what it came out as was....

"Ghost-busters!!! And he didn't knooowww what he haaaaad!! And he haaaad what he waanteeedd!! And you know, what you know, what you know, what's in your heeeaaaddd!!!".

The "..know what you know..", part is what sounded like "do what you do".

I thought it was funny, but Steve hated his stinking guts, and wanted to push him off the rock, and acted out the kid being in pain with all his bones broken going *groaning scratchy death voice* "and he....didn't know....what he...haaadd....and he had...what..he wanted...".

So, that was good for a few laughs, but it later became a family meme.

Especially "know what you know what's in your heaaadd!".

The fun is in finding new ways to shoehorn it in.
Like, some shrink show, that can be about "knowing what you know what you know what's in...your heaaad!".

Or, some guy in some romantic comedy "didn't know what he haaaad, but he haad what he wanteed!!".

Y'know....that freaky little weirdo was actually pretty deep.

Hell, he's probably some accountant or doctor now, and doesn't even remember this shit.
Or, maybe he's out there, reading this, and blushing.

*Laughs*

Maybe he frittered his life away chasing some impossible goal, an icy woman, a 401K that evaporated out from under him, maybe he had a shitty garage band that went nowhere...and all along, he didn't knoooow what he haaaaad, and he haaad what he wanteeedd!!!

*Laughs hard*

Well, thanks for the memes, Weird Boulder Kid.
Gotta lotta amusement from 'em over the years.

Hopefully, I can pass 'em along for ya, and spread the joy you brought.




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Happy 10th birthday, act of homicidal political assholism.

So, I'm watching "Cheers", last night...

  ...and I see "written by David Angell", and I'm like "where do I remember that name from?", then, like a nanosecond later, it hits me "ohhhh, shiiit, that's the poor bastard from "Frasier", who died on 9/11".

Then, it was a really good episode, and I got thinking of him being on that fucking plane again, and was like "fuck".

 So, I jotted that down on a notepad for today, knowing it would BE 9/11.

Yeah, guy who wrote last night's Cheers got vaporized that day.
Wonder if that was random coincidence.
The rerun I mean.
Well, as you may know, I happen to think artists, particularly good ones, are some of the only worthwhile human beings we have.

Sure as fuck ain't politicians, and arms dealers.

So, there you go, a writer who entertained me had to die, because a gaggle of superstitious lunatics thought corporeal obliteration sends them to a dimension where 75 slaves would want to suck them off.

Ain't humanity neat?
These are such GOOD ideas, let's respect them.
*Eye roll*

So, what else?

Well, The Onion kinda wrapped up what I was originally gonna ramble about all in one neat little package.
Bastids.
But yeah, here's that, it says it all...

Nation Would Rather Think About 9/11 Than Anything From Subsequent 10 Years.

Um, well....Bin Laden finally got killed.
That's something...

Freedom Tower's finally getting built.

Troop withdrawl for the two shitty wars are finally starting to happen.
We're mostly outta Iraq.
They'll leave some troops behind forever, cuz that's what the US does...

Maybe the run of bad shit from the last shitty decade is starting to turn around, eh?
Here's hoping.

Well, let's look back at previous 9/11s, boy, these fly by...

2010
(Uneventful, except breaking ground on the Freedom Tower. They were saving it for this year, I guess)

2009
(Tyler Perry, and Glenn Beck, it was exploitterrific. Truly disgusting. I was ashamed to be human that year)

2008
(Said it all here. My all-purpose 9/11 rant to recycle forever. Well, me from '08, Binny's dead, other than that, the news media and US foreign policy is still fucking awful)

So, in a couple years, the new tower will be done, the fishes will have nibbled Binny's bones clean, "Rescue Me", will be in one big Blue Ray boxed set, and we may or may not have a new president, for better or worse.

That'll be interesting, to have the residue of 9/11 truly in the rearview mirror.

What it'll be like for it to really be over...
Stick around for that one.

And watch Cheers tonight.
Hallmark channel has 'em for sure, but your local cable company maybe has other outlets it plays on.
In between laughs, remember what mixing violent and stupid costs us as a culture.


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Raimi vs. British prudes in the 80's.

Part 1



Part 2.

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Hooray!!

I can colorize and size text in WYSIWYG mode again!!!

That's right, I've been hand-pecking the HTML on these bastards for the last 7 or so months!

All through the decade lists for sure.
Yes, it WAS a bitch!

Thank you, Google, for fixing something that WAS broke!!!


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Happy 45th birthday, Star Trek.

Too bad no one is doing anything.
No TV specials, no special hardcover novels, or tech manuals, or encyclopedias, no games, the JJ Sequel is delayed, and shit, you would think the folks at Phase II/New Frontiers would have busted their asses to have a new episode out.
Shit, TrekMovie.com didn't even fuckin' say anything.

Nothin. :(

Well, I still love ya, Trek.
For what that's worth.

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SOWTHIFL #34.

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Preach it, Henry.

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Crazy!

Okay, it's driving me crazy...no, really...



Okay, first, the quick history lesson; as Plop! was DC's MAD ripoff, Crazy was Marvel's.
And, they did a slightly better job.
But, Marvel always did it better in those days.

Aaanyhoo, I've done a damned bangup job of finding all these lost treasures, but there's one left that eludes me.

When I was 5, 6, or 7, I saw a Crazy in the grocery store magazine shelf, one time only, and in it, there was a Sesame Street parody where Ernie ripped Bert's arms off.

Burnt into my fucking mind, I need to see that issue again, somebody help me.
Either directly E-mail me a CBR/CBZ, or an Ebay link, or even someone just remember the damned issue, and I'll go hunting myself.

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