Big Winter Movies Part 3. (Part 0).

Holy crap, that took us all the way back around, didn't it?
Yep, that's right, issue #6 came out, so it's time for....

Ghostbusters 101 (2017)
OR- 
Ghostbusters 101: Everyone Answers The Call.

..the big series review.

Previously with this franchise....

Answer The Call-

Happy 1st anniversary, Ghostbusters: Answer The Call!

Ghostbusters 101.

Now, here's the heavily spoiler-y issue reviews.

• Issue 1.
• Issue 2. (addendum)
• Issue 3.
• Issue 4.
• Issue 5.
• Issue 6. (addendum)

And here's other stuff that cropped up in that thread.

• Release date and title for graphic novel.
• Previews for issues 2-4.
• Preview for issue 5.
• Preview for issue 6.
• Time for canon crybabies to shut up.
• ATC spinoff comic.

And now, for the review of the whole series as a movie (on paper).

• Excellent!!
• Oh, Hell yeah, it's totally Answer The Call 2.
• Oh, Hell yeah, it retroactively makes ATC Ghostbsuters 3, so this is 3.5.
• The writer and artist nails all the characters perfectly.
• Holtzmann steals the comic the way she stole the movie last year.
• Enhances my enjoyment of ATC the same as "Ghosts From Our Past", did.
• If this were a movie, I think I'd like it better than ATC. But as it is, tied.
• The casts go together like peanut butter and jelly, I wish this had been a movie.
• I hesitate to think it should have been instead of ATC, cuz I personally like it better with the girls being established on their own first. Thankfully, we have comics to loophole around studio political and economic bullshit.
• Can't wait for the ATC spinoff A.K.A. "What Dreams May Come".
• I'll do issue reviews of that.
• Less enthused about Ghostbusters/TMNT 2, but I'll follow along with it, cuz it's Ghostbusters.
• I won't do issue reviews of that though. 
• I don't know what I'm more excited for, the animated movie, or to see how IDW ties it into their multiverse. I think the latter. I wanna see the new ghost-hero meet Peter, Ray, and Holtz.

And, that's it.
GB:ATC2.
Or, GB:EATC.
It was good.
I'm happy.
If you didn't follow the issues, grab the graphic novel in December.

See you next time in the franchise for "What Dreams May Come", and then "untitled Ghostbusters animated film".


Read More......

My big podcast/internet shows list.

As I said here....

I just don't watch much TV period anymore.
I've got my handful of appointment shows, then everything else is YouTube and podcasts.
Hmm, I ought to do a list of my favorite podcasts sometime.
It keeps changing.
I had to slaughter a bunch of 'em over Ghostbusters, and then Trump.


So, here it is....

Youtube.


Saturday Night Live.

For the Trump skits.
They've been doing special Youtube-only cold openings and Weekend Updates to fill the void while they're on break, and crazy Trump shit keeps happening.


Last Week Tonight.

John Oliver does good rant.


Collider Videos.

I've got my text movie news sites, but I always wanted a panel show I could watch like the old "Entertainment Tonight", days.
I mean, ET is still around, but they're full of depressing Hollywood gossip shit.
I wanted the movie chat without the crap.
I finally found it in my travels, and it's Collider.

So, here's the evolution, John Campea started with a blog, expanded into web video before even Youtube was a thing, got hired by AMC (theater chain, not network) to do AMC Movie Talk, and that's when I found it.
Campea wanted to leave AMC to do other things, and went over to Collider, but if he was gonna leave, AMC was just gonna fold Movie Talk, and he didn't want all his friends to lose their jobs, so to keep the team together, he worked out a deal that let him bring everyone with him to Collider, but use the old AMC sets repainted, and just switch channels, and turn AMC Movie Talk into Collider Movie Talk.
Then, he stayed on to host and produce for awhile to get everything situated, and merge Movie Talk with Shmoes Know, then left again to do some other project that didn't last.
So, then he came back again, and then his best friend died, and he re-evaluated his life, and decided he didn't want to have corporate bosses anymore, and left a third and final time to do his own Youtube channel.

The show is still okay, they've expanded into TV Talk, and Heroes, which is all comic book movies, and Thursdays, they do an all Star Wars one called Jedi Council.
They used to have Nightmares, which was all horror, but it wasn't getting enough views, so now it's monthly.
That bums me out, that was my favorite one.
Anyway, its lost the Campea magic, but I stick with it.
I've usually read all the news before they react to it, but sometimes they scoop.


John Campea.

John Campea isn't the same without Collider, Collider isn't the same without John Campea, but if I watch both shows, it kinda almost mixes back together.
It's like how your homemade Big Mac is never the same as McDonald's.
But dammit, you try.

Anyway, it's really awkward and weird how no one mentions him at Collider, the terms of his resignation must include that he's erased from history there.
They were allowed to mention in one episode that he left, no ceremony, no goodbye party, no nothing. He explained why he left on his channel, and then after that, it's like they're in separate dimensions like a comic book rebooting.
Very eerie.
I don't think he'll ever come back there.
He said they didn't part on bad terms, and they were great bosses, but it seems pretty ugly on their side.


SchmoesKnow.

The Shmoes do Collider, then run over to their set in the same building, and do their own show.

When a huge movie like a Captain America Civil War, or an Avengers, or a Star Wars, etc, comes out, I go down through all my movies sites, use a Youtube downloader to put their reviews together in a folder for later, put them into a flash drive, plug it to my Blu-ray player, and marathon them all after I've seen the movie, and done my own blog review.
Kinda feels like I get to spend a little more time with the flick.
Also, a lot of times, someone spots an Easter egg or two I missed.
It's a ritual I've developed.

So, anyway, yeah, Collider has split into three factions.


Screen Junkies.

They've got a bunch of shows, but I keep them around for "Honest Trailers".

Collider people pop up over there, and vice versa.

They've added "Millennial Falcon", with Jenny Nicholson, but I'll talk about her later.


Screen Junkies News.

They've got a panel show much like Collider, but they react to every news item as it comes out, instead of waiting for it to lump together into a whole show at a fixed hour of the day.

So, they're like a video version of your text news sites.
I subscribed, because they had Sasha Perl-Raver, who I find funny, but she up and disappeared, and left me with second stringers.
Dammit.

But, both Screen Junkies channels give me fodder for my Event Movie Review Binge.


Popcorn Talk.

They've got separate panel shows on Marvel movies, DC movies, and Star Wars.
So, if I'm really bored, and starved for entertainment, I'll supplement my Collider fix with their stuff.

Also, again, they're fodder for my Event Movie Review Binge.

Collider and Screen Junkies people have been known to pop up here, and vice versa.
There's this rotating cast of critics and comedians who go around all these channels.


Ghostbusters News.

About the only channel devoted to Ghostbusters stuff that isn't some off-putting sour-puss bitching about the new movie.
The host is humble and lovable, and he manages to dig up obscure little tidbits.
Fun little channel.


How It Should Have Ended.

Funny alternate endings to movies in cartoon form.
You know a movie has made it when they've had their Honest Trailer and HISHE.
They usually land at roughly the same time for the same movie.


Cinefix.

They've got a bunch of shit on here, but I keep them around for "What's The Difference?", where they compare a movie to the book/comic it's adapted from.
You get all the twisted violent and perverted shit you missed without having to read!


Jawiin.

A married couple of comic geeks, they review the big comic movies, Game Of Thrones episodes, and the new episodes of all the CW DC shows.

They also do a podcast called "Geek History Lesson", that catches you up on every molecular detail of a character you don't know, but need to know before a new movie comes out.

I'm a geek, so I know most of it, but I'm glad it exists for the young kids coming up.
And sometimes, there's a character I'm clueless on.
Like, I needed to know who Jessica Jones was, cuz she came around in the 00's.

They're also one of my stop-offs for my Event Movie Review Binge.


Comic Book Girl 19.

She's a cutie, and she's a crazy broad who's into hippie-dippie spirituality, so I should hate her, but for comic book and movie stuff, I'm really glad she exists for the new kids coming up.

For a spiritualist kook, she's still a genuinely nice person who means well for the world.
I'll let it slide in her case.

Right now, she's doing a weekly dissection of the first Dune novel that I find interesting.
She also did a three part documentary on the Dark Phoenix saga that's pretty epic, and will prepare you for the upcoming flick.
Prepare you for saying "the books were better! Ptooey!!".

Every once in awhile, she pops up on Collider Heroes.


Jenny Nicholson.

She's this tiny chick with a quiet voice but with a giant brain who tears movies to shreds in a funny and observant way.
She is incapable of lowering her snark force-field.

Her main sources of expertise are Disney, and Star Wars.
She loved Force Awakens, despised Rogue One.

She hosts the aforementioned  "Millennial Falcon", about Star Wars on Screen Junkies.


Kevin Smith.

Yeah, I know, he's not everyone's cup of tea as a filmmaker, and a person.
Whatever.
He never scoops, he's always late to the party, but I still like having his perspective in my Event Movie Review Binge.


Andre "Black Nerd".

He's yet another stop-off for my shopping spree for my Event Movie Review Binge.

He's funny, and he did a really good meltdown for the internet assholery surrounding "Ghostbusters: Answer The Call".

His main obsessions are Ninja Turtles, Smurfs, and classic Nintendo/Sega games.

He's guest starred on Nostalgia Critic a couple times.


Channel Awesome.

The main thing they host is Nostalgia Critic, but they've got a couple other things.

Nostalgia Critic, Black Nerd, Cinema Snob, and Angry Video Game Nerd all pop up in each other's shows.

I unsubscribed AVGN for being a dick about Ghostbusters, and I thought I'd re-subscribe after the bullshit blew over, but Trump got elected, and I stopped being in the mood to forgive anybody.

Whatever, doesn't mean you have to hate him.
He's just not on my list anymore.

NC's Ghostbusters review was even-handed, conciliatory, and well done though.

NC is usually part of my Event Movie Review Binge.
If he can crank the content out fast enough.
Usually if he can't do an NC fast enough, him and his brother do a sit-down review called "Sibling Rivalry". Or, if his brother isn't handy, then just himself as "Rob Reviews".
So, I get something from him either way.


Tamara Lynn Chambers.

She's an actress in Nostalgia Critic's skits, and her bubbly-ness cheers me up after a long day of Trump shit on Facebook. Sue me.
Some of it's dumb, some of it's genuinely funny.
Whatever. I like her.


Stone Gremlin Productions.

Hosts Cinema Snob, but he (Brad) reviews just about everything.
Movies, foods, beverages, weird recipes, old commercials, you name it.
Add together AVGN, NC, and CS, you've got pretty much everything covered.

As Cinema Snob, he mostly covers old gross cult movies, the occasional porn parody, and creepy Christian films (is there any other kind?).

As mentioned, he pops up on NC a lot.

His "Midnight Screenings", is another essential part of my Event Movie Review Binge.


Mr. Sunday Movies.

A snarky Australian guy who never shows his face, but narrates over graphics.
He does Easter egg videos on the latest big movies, so he's another essential stop for my Event Movie Review Binge.

He also does reviews on crappy old video games, weird lost TV specials, fucked up arcs in comic books, and any other weird side stuff he can find that relates to a new flick.


Katie O'Shaughnessy.

A cute gothy Irish chick that does funny reactions to Walking Dead episodes.

Whatever. I like her.
Shut up.


ItsJustSomeRandomGuy.

Used to make "Robot Chicken", style action figure cartoons of Marvel and DC characters razzing each other over each other's movies.

His channel's been dead for a whole year.
I dunno what's going on.


Batinthesun.

Started out in the pre-Youtube days doing really well done fan movies of Batman and Joker, now they do live-action fan match-ups of heroes and villains from all franchises fighting each other.
Their Batman vs Darth Vader is epic.

Now they've got a series going of Deadpool and Spider-Man reacting to stuff.


Dorkly.

Has a bunch of stuff, but I subscribed for the funny skits of 8-bit and 16-bit classic game characters meeting each other across franchises, and doing crazy things in "what if?", scenarios.


Facts.

When it's the bottom of the barrel time, I've seen all my movie shows, or I skipped them because it was a lame news day, and TV sucks, and there's just nothing, I'll watch Irish people eat and drink things and react with joy or horror.

They make one of these every single day.
If nothing else, I've always got one of these.


The Bible Reloaded.

Yep, you had to know the atheist content was coming.

These guys aren't angry atheists like me, they're actually really chill.
If you're dipping your toes into atheism, they might be your guys.

They make fun of the Bible passage by passage, read and give the MST3K treatment to  Chick Tracts, review bad Christian movies, and answer viewer mail.

The Bible is just horrifying, it really is.
Both their Bible lessons, and the read through Scathing Atheist (more on them later) gave it, man, it's worse than the fucking Necronomicon.
Religious fundies need to be way more loathed in our culture.


The Quran Reloaded.

Same exact guys as The Bible Reloaded, but doing Quran/Islam stuff.

As bad as the Bible is, Quran is way worse.

Scathing Atheist did a read through of Quran too, and ho-ly shit it's awful.
It's everything you've heard.
Misogynist, homophobic, violent, trains people to be angry-bees to any criticism or examination, all the bad shit happening in the Middle East right now isn't some sad accident from a radioactive space-insect bite, the blueprint for it is all right there in Muhammed's awful book.

But again, the guys are chill about it all.
They just show what it is, and snark at it.


DarkMatter2525.

Turns excellent atheist and counter-apologetic arguments into easy to digest and funny cartoons.

Has a lot of guest stars from the larger atheist Youtube community.

Currently he's doing a continuing science fiction series called "Power Corrupts", that posits "what if the Bible God was a guy from the future in The Matrix, and we were his helpless playthings?".

It's really fucking good.
Recommended.


Noah Lugeons.

Video version of the "Puzzle In A Thunderstorm", shows (more on them later).
I've usually listened to the MP3 versions by the time this thing updates, but every once in a blue moon, they have something on here that you can't see in their audio feed.


Cognitive Dissonance.

Ditto Noah Lugeons.


Audio podcasts.


The Projection Booth.

Plugged this before here, and here.

The best and most thorough movie podcast out there.
It has no rival.
They take a deep dive into the sub-atomic realm on every movie they cover.
If you've got an obscure movie with crappy to no bonus features, look for and download its Projection Booth episode, that's your bonus features.


Faculty Of Horror.

Two female college professors cover horror movies from an academic feminist perspective.
Good stuff, but updates are few and far apart.
Discovered them through Projection Booth.


The Ghostbusters Interdimensional Crossrip.

When "Ghostbusters: Answer The Call", was coming out, the mainstream movie news outlets just weren't covering it hardly at all.

I was starving and parched for tidbits and content, and got searching desperately.
I went Googling for Ghostbusters specific shows, and this and Ghostbusters News were about it.

I came for Answer The Call, I stayed for the guys.
And plus, there are new movies and comics coming, so there's always something now.


Yes Have Some.

Based on the obscure line from "Ghostbusters".

Janine- Do you want some coffee, Mister Tully?

Egon- Yes, have some.

Lewis- Yes, have some!

The joke being, all the better Ghostbusters lines to make into titles were taken.

So, the backstory is, in "Ghostbusters 2", the chick on Peter Venkman's talk show predicts the world will end on Valentine's Day of 2016.

So, this couple who are Ghostbusters fans and cosplayers had their marriage proposal on that date with video help from Ivan Reitman, and it became a Youtube sensation for a couple weeks.

So, they decided to parlay their Youtube fame into a podcast, and they kind of became an accidental spinoff to Interdimensional Crossrip.

I listened to them for the buildup to Answer The Call, they even had an exclusive interview with Paul Feig that no one else got.
Like Crossrip, I came for the Ghostbusters news, and stayed for the people.


The Dollup.

Two comedians read and react to crazy stories from history.
A million times better than it sounds.

What you learn, is America is fucking evil and horrible.

Once in a blue moon, they'll have someone famous, like Patton Oswalt on.


Dumb People Town.

Hosted by the Sklar brothers, similar to The Dollup, but they react to stupid shit happening right now.

Found out about it on The Dollup.


Cognitive Dissonance.

See the Youtube version above.
They cover politics and current events from an atheistic/skeptic perspective, but are also filthy and funny.

And they cross over with the Puzzle In a Thunderstorm guys a lot.
So much so, they may as well be merged in like Collider and Shmoes.


Puzzle In A Thunderstorm.

See Noah Lugeons in Youtube above.

So the joke here, is one time on "God Awful Movies", one of the movies had a little girl building a puzzle during a thunderstorm.
One of the guys joked that "Puzzle In A Thunderstorm", sounded like a sex thing on Urban Dictionary, then Twitter fans tried to invent what it would be, and it became a running gag for awhile, and when they expanded to four shows, they needed a larger title to cover who they were, so they called themselves "Puzzle In A Thunderstorm LLC".

So, here are the PIAT shows....

The Scathing Atheist.

Similar to Cognitive Dissonance, but filthier, and wackier, and angrier.
The opposite in tone of Bible Reloaded.
More to my style.

As mentioned in Bible Reloaded, and Quran Reloaded, they've done read-throughs of the Bible and Quran, and they're both just awful.

Now they're on the Book Of Mormon, and that's so stupid and obviously fake, it's pathetic.
It's written by a con-man who was just a teensy molecule smarter than the morons he was tricking.
So it's kind of a giant Dollup episode on how stupid early Americans were to buy this crap.

The 1800's were the worst for dumbass racist quackery.
Whenever you hear a story start with "(insert southern state), 18____",  you know something absolutely vile is about to happen.

Fuuuuck Mormonism.

God Awful Movies.

Where the aforementioned Puzzle In A Thundrstorm comes from.

They started out doing Christian movie reviews as a segment on Scathing Atheist, but they thought their new guy, Eli, was so funny, they needed to do a spinoff.

Eli was just supposed to be the God Awful Movies guy, but they ended up making him the third guy for all the shows.

I thought it was obvious, I dunno what took them so long to figure it out.

The Skepticrat.

Like Scathing Atheist, but all politics.

Their third show, and it started with just Noah and Heath, but as stated above, they added Eli.

This one comes out least often.
But Cognitive Dissonance comes out the same day (Monday) so if they miss one, you still get Cog-Dis.

Citation Needed.

The fourth PIAT show, this time, teamed up with the Cog-Dis guys.

Like I said up top, they should just go ahead, and merge both casts for all 5 shows at this point.

This one, they read an entry from Wikipedia, and goof on it, and do skits based on it.

It's kind of their version of The Dollup.
If you wanted more Dollup, here's Citation Needed.


Angry Black Rant.

Kind of like Cog-Dis/Scathing, but from a black atheist perspective.

Ishmael who hosts this has been a repeated guest on Cog-Dis and Scathing, so he's kind of a spinoff of their universe.

Heard him on there, and liked him, so added him to the list.
His show got a lot angrier, so a lot better, once Trump took office.
Episodes have been infrequent though.

So, that's those.

Hope it gives you, the reader, some ideas of stuff to try out.
Or, at least a starting point before branching out.

Enjoy the journey.

I'll retro-link this back into 90's 4.


Read More......

42nd birthday haul part 2.

Part 1.

Got this stuff earlier this week, but it took a bit to consume/absorb.
Would have got it ON my birthday, but of course, release dates don't like to cooperate.


Ash vs Evil Dead (2016)

Series review.

Unh, FINALLY.
Feels like almost a year from it finishing on Starz do they finally put the disks out.
Hell, it'll be just a couple months, season 3 will start up.

Anyhoo, commentaries were worth it.
Plus, there were little mini documentaries on various aspects of production.
Monster makeup, guest stars, the Ashy Slashy puppet, etc.

Counting the 2013 remake, there's 16 hours of Evil Dead now.
With next season, we'll be closing in on almost 24.

When its all said and done (assuming they hit the 5 season target), we'll have 31.
Digested normally, that'll fill a week of bingeing.

Shit, and that's just the shows, never mind the bonuses.
Hell, there's 32 hours now if you double up for commentary modes.

Yeah, I never need crave for Evil Dead content now for the rest of my life.


Guardians Of The Galaxy: Vol. 2 (2017)

Original review.

I have to binge both films back to back as one big movie sometime.
They really complement each other perfectly.
Wish I could just time travel to Infinity War, and Guardians Vol 3.

Just finished off the director commentary, and thus the final bonus, minutes ago.
You'll be glad to know, Guardians Inferno is on there as a bonus.


Aaand there!
All birthday-ed up.

Next comes Christmas.
But before that, Thor Ragnarok, Justice League, and Last Jedi.
See you then!


Read More......

Star Wars Anthology Trilogy update.

Previously...

• Happy sixth observed Star Wars day.
• Journey through Star Wars info-graphics part 1.

Anthology three is confirmed as Obi-Wan prequel!!!!


About fucking time.
They were supposed to announce this in July, and at Star Wars Celebration before that, but the Han Solo bullshit threw everything in disarray.

Stephen Daldry is set to direct.

Here's the updated infographic.

Read More......

I don't h8 the 90's anymore (Part 4).

• Part 1 (Cartoons)
• Part 2 (Movies part 1)
• Part 3 (Movies part 2)

Damn, over a month now since the last one.
Fuck it, these come out when they come out.

Same old problem, I keep remembering things, and adding to the list, then I'm scared to do one, because I don't want to leave anything out.

But, screw it, here goes.

TV shows.

Network-

Get a life (1990-1992)

About a 30 year old paper boy, and his wacky and surreal misadventures.
Funniest and weirdest fucking sitcom ever put to air.
Damn, I miss it.
Chris Elliot went on to do "Eagle Heart", on Cartoon Network, and it was all right, but it didn't have the magic of this one.


Red Dwarf (1988-present)
(US got the reruns in the 90's)

Old review here.

"Back To Earth", retroactively counted as season 9, and they've since put out seasons 10-11, with 12 on the way.
So, they're still going.
Think they're gonna do it 'til the cast is dead, like Simpsons.
Well, good on ya, fellas, cuz you're a great little show.
If only Blackadder were still going.

Speaking of....

Blackadder (1983-2000) 
(US got the reruns in the 90's)

Series review here.
Christmas special here.

Ahh, if it weren't for the animated shows, and Blackadder, and Red Dwarf, I might have gone up on a water tower with a sniper rifle.

Great show, still holds up.
Ended with the millennium special, they've never been able to get a reunion together since.
Bummer.
Least I've got the DVDs.
I've gotta crack those open someday.
Been too long.


Alexei Sayle's Stuff (1988-1991)
(Again, we got it mid-90's)

Our PBS was cool, they played Blackadder, Red Dwarf, and this back, to back, to back.
Sadly, this didn't last as long, or get rerun as often as the other two.
It was just this weird British sketch show, and the opening catchphrase was "who was that fat bastard?".

Well, yeah, who WAS that fat bastard?


Dark Shadows (1991)
(reboot) 

Old review here.

"Williiieee!!!".


The George Carlin Show (1994-1995)

Old review here.

I've watched all these again since the old review, and it's watered down and corny compared to his concerts, but still better than most sitcoms today.
I'd put it somewhere in "Archie Bunker's Place", territory.
More balls than "One Day At A Time", but not quite in the darker episode of "All In The Family", zone.

Again, needs a disc release.
...course, disc is dying, and everything's VOD.
But everything isn't VOD, they leave a lot of shit out.
Disc backup ensures the rare titles see their time in the sun too.
Dammit.
Fucking youngsters and their cellphones.
Rassafrassen.
Mundane-noodle!
Not-a-finger!


TNG seasons 3-7 (1990-1994)

Old review here.

Man, the criticism in the old review keeps being more true.
You look at the effects on the Discovery trailer, and TNG/DS9/Voy/Ent look like Geico ads in comparison.
They tried future-proofing TOS with special edition CG bullshit, but that shit dated 6 months later.
Nevermind the years its been now.

Comes down to story, and again, TNG had a lot of filler.
It ain't holding up so well.
It used to be just TNG's problem, but they're all creaking on rusty hinges now.
In a world with "Game Of Thrones", and "Preacher", and "American Gods", what can Trek bring to the table anymore?
We'll just have to see.

We'll. Just. Have. To. Seeeeee.....


Deep Space Nine (1993-1999)

Ditto most of the above, and the link.
Ages better because of the grittier stories, and the better characters, but even this one is starting to rust up a little.
If I gotta watch one, I'll go with this if I have the choice.
I don't think I hate any Trek.
Not anymore.
Used to be hip to hate on certain ones, but what wasted energy that was/is in a world with war crimes.
That snotty hipster phase seems to be a white boy disease.
Deepest apologies to the universe for indulging it in those days.



Voyager (1995-2001)

This is the one that gets all the shit.
They've been having marathons on H&I, and BBC-America, and....yeah, it's often lackluster, and plodding, and vanilla, and the technobabble is like something out of Axe Cop the older it gets, but it's not detestable.
I can watch it.
I've suffered through so much worse.
Fanboys that hate this act like this thing killed their dad, and raped their mom and sister, and made them watch.
Get a fucking grip.
I'll watch the worst reruns of this over Dr. fucking Phil any fucking day.
I'll watch "Fairhaven", over 5 minutes of a reality show about Jesus freaks with a gross pile of kids.
How many of those shows have been tainted by pedophiles lately?
It ain't zero.
It ain't fucking zero.
And even though the scripts are bland, and the music is a lullaby, I like some of the actors.
The Doctor is good, Seven became a fun character even though she was conceived as T&A, Roxanne Dawson is a cool chick, even though the writers took a poop all over her character most times. And Kate Mulgrew does her goddamned best, even though the writers couldn't decide who she was episode to episode, so she looks like Sybil if you do a marathon.
And there are some genuinely good episodes sprinkled in there.
No, treating this show like a war crime was a hipster pastime, and it needs to end.
It wasn't cute, internet.
Not cute at all.


Dinosaurs (1991-1994)

Speaking of cute, this was a deceptively dark show.
I should have known, the core joke of it was, the dinosaurs died out by living like us.
So, in the finale, they actually had balls, and killed the fucking dinosaurs!
And not nice and quick, they're left to starve to death.
We'll never know if there was cannibalism, and if so, who ate who first.

My fan-fiction-y guess, dad ate the baby, the teenagers turned on the dad, and killed him for eating the baby, and ate him.
The mom gave herself willingly to keep the teens alive.
The teens wandered the Earth for scraps, but the daughter succumbed, and gave herself willingly to the son.
The son sooner or later got an injury that slowed him down, and ran afoul of cannibal gangs.
I'm picturing him being beaten to mush by Dinosaur-Negan.


Roseanne (1988-1997)

Speaking of fucked up finales!!!!
Dan's dead! The lesbian mother is straight! The straight sister is a lesbian!
The daughters husbands are swapped!
The whole show was a novel written by Roseanne after Dan died!
Since they didn't really win the lottery, we have no fucking idea how they financially survived the loss of the key bread-winner!
WT-actual-F?!?!?!

Oh, sorry, spoilers?
Tough.
You had 20 fucking years.

A reunion special is coming, and it seems like it's erasing at least some of that ending as an alternate timeline, or dream, or something, because Dan is back to life.
Stay tuned, this show ain't over yet after all!


Frasier (1993-2004)

Yep, between this and Cheers, Kelsey Grammer was Frasier for 20 goddamned years!
Talk about job security!


Alien Nation (1989-1990)
(Revival movies, 1994, 1996, 1996 (again), 1997)

Original review here.

Like I said there...

I must have loved the shit out of it, because I watched every episode of the TV series .... and all the reunion movies.

Produced by Kenneth Johnson who did Hulk, and V.
No wonder I dug it, I dig his style.
Some have called his style "shrill bonk you on the head moralizing", but those people can eat my dick in a hot dog bun with mustard and relish.
For 1000 years, in a "Groundhog Day", loop.


Chicago Hope (1994-2000)

Everyone else on Earth was into "ER", but I watched "Chicago Hope".
Why?
Because Mandy Patinkin, bitch!!
Inigo Montoya, muthfucka!!
Yeah, it jumped the shark after he left, but I hung on for Adam Arkin, and the dude from "Shocker".
I should have bailed when Eric Stoltz joined.
Bleauurgh.
Oh, he's good enough in other stuff, but his character in this was an insufferable nitwit.
They had Patinkin come back in the final season, and fire all the shitty new characters, including Stoltz, but the damage was done.
The show bled out and died on the table.
The aorta was torn, there was no stopping the blood.
*Sob*


Grand (1990)

It had Bonnie Hunt, Joel Murray, John Neville, and Michael McKean, and was a spoof on soap operas.
I thought it was cute.
Deserved a longer life than it got.

Here's the theme song.
There, now you can have that earworm for the next 27 years like I have.


Herman's Head (1991-1994)

"Inside Out", totally stole this.
Except, instead of a little girl, it's the good-guy from "Fright Night".

The girlfriend from "Fright Night", became Marcy from "Married With Children".
Jerry Dandridge from "Fright Night", became Prince Humperdink from "Princess Bride".

Also Yeardly Smith (Lisa Simpson) was one of his co-workers.
Won't lie, kinda had a little crush on her.

Anyway, I vaguely remember what the head-people represented, but I most clearly remember the fat guy wanted Herman to fuck everybody, and eat everything.
You can tell just by looking at him.


The Flash (1990)

Old review of the DVDs here.

Course, now the new CW show is on, and part of a larger DC-TV universe, and all of the main cast of the '90 show has been on it, including Mark Hamill as Trickster, so I count it as this show is retroactively still on.


Seinfeld (1989-1998)

If you existed in the 90's, you watched this.
It was mandatory.


News Radio (1995-1999)

Old review here.

The best show no one watched.
Way to go, America.
This was better than Seinfeld, its held up way better in reruns, it deserved so much better.


704 Hauser (1994)

The lost sequel to the Archie-Bunker-verse.
A black family moves into Archie's old house, and have political arguments like the old days.
The son is a black conservative.
The mom and dad are liberal.
The dad is the dude who played James from "Good Times".
The white girlfriend of the son is the chick from "News Radio".
She didn't even change her hairdo!

We need to be bombarded with these fucking shows as a culture.
It's not enough to make them, rerun them, and forget about it, there needs to be another batch of people in that house right now.
Rotating casts every decade.
Get a fucking Trump voter in that Archie chair, and have his son be a Bernie voter, the daughter-in-law be a Hillary person, and have the neighbors be Mexican.
Grow some balls, America.

Anyhoo, you can watch all these on Youtube.
I think there's only like, 4 of 'em.
The pilot is a little bit cringe-y but it gets better quick, and it really could have been something.


Quantum Leap (1989-1993)

Old review here.

Every few years, I hear mumblings of a reunion, or a reboot, but I ain't holding my breath.
They're bringing back stuff like "Full House", and the aforementioned "Roseanne", for reunions, but "Quantum Leap", was way more of a cult show than those.

Closest we'll ever get to a reunion for a long time, is the episode of "Enterprise", where Dean Stockwell popped up.
Jeez, if they're ever gonna do a straight up reunion movie, they'd better hurry the Hell up, Dean's in his 80's.

I wouldn't dig a reboot, because the core premise is the leaper travels along his/her lifetime.
Sam was a baby-boomer, and they got to see some real history.
Put an x-er or millennial in there, it just won't be the same.
But, what do I know?
They might find a clever twist on it.


Sliders (1995-2000)

Original review here, nested within the "My Secret Identity", review.

Said most of it there.
This one needs a reunion to repair the damage of its last few seasons.
They really had something there starting out.
The dopey network fucking blew it.
Way to go, Fox.
Brilliant decision makers you've got over there.

As for Jerry O'Connell, he was last seen playing Herman Munster.

Speaking of that, they're about to reboot Munsters again already.

Sheesh.

That 70's Show (1998-2006)

Ahhh, Laura Prepon (cartoon hearts float over head).
*Googles* she's a fuckin' Scientologist!?!?
Goddammit!
*Loses boner*


Muppets Tonight (1996-1998)

I don't remember much about this, except that it wasn't as magical as the original, but still better than the recent reboot they did that tried to be like "The Office".
Anyway, this existed.


Tales From The Far Side (1994)

Damn, 1994? It was that long ago?? It feels like a couple years ago!!
Damn!
I still remember it like it was new.
They never played it again either.
I think you can watch it on Youtube, or Dailymotion.

Part II???
*Googles* oh, only England got it.
Lucky bastids.


The Machine That Changed The World (1992)

Goddamn!! 1992!?!?
Anyway, this was a documentary on the rise of computers from WWII to '92.
I thought it was the most awesome science-y thing ever, but now the computers in that would look like total dogshit now.
Hell, the internet hadn't even become itself yet.
I had no idea what I was going to live to see.
Even their most boldest predictions were weak sauce.
This needs an update.
Although, you could probably find better histories of computers on Youtube.
In fact, I'm sure you could.


Late Night With Conan O'Brien (1993-2009)

Old review here.

So, unless you've been under a rock, you know he got upgraded to "The Tonight Show", then NBC and Jay screwed him, then he went on "The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour", which he turned into the documentary "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop".
If you want to see him be candid about his anger at his screwing, that's where he vents it.
Andy Richter is downright profane about it.
It's beautiful.
Dig up that doc, and check it out.
Now he's on "Conan", for TBS, and it's pretty much a time warp back to '93.

Shit, I should watch it more.
I'm guilty as hell.
I just don't watch much TV period anymore.
I've got my handful of appointment shows, then everything else is YouTube and podcasts.
Hmm, I ought to do a list of my favorite podcasts sometime.
It keeps changing.
I had to slaughter a bunch of 'em over Ghostbusters, and then Trump.
I said it before, but there ended up being a Venn diagram of Ghostbusters haters and Trumpsters, including Trump himself.
Ghostbusters was the canary in the coal mine.
I saw the signs.
No one would listen.
Now we've got Tiki torch Nazis.
Good job, America.
I bet they were Jay fans.
See how I brought it all together?


In Living Color (1990-1994)

No way, it was only on 4 seasons?
That's depressing.
Could've sworn it hung on almost a decade.

It launched Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans, but everyone else kinda vanished.
David Alan Grier keeps popping up every now and then.


MadTV (1995-2009)
(Revival, 2016)

When SNL was dogshit after Will Farrell left, I totally switched to MadTV.

Then I missed Kristen Wiig's whole damned career rise, and had to play catch up when she became a Ghostbuster.

Michael McDonald from MadTV is in Ghostbusters ATC, so it all balances out.
Somehow.
Because reasons.
Shut up!

Even if you loathed this show, it launched Nichole Sullivan, Alex Borstein, Jordan Peele, Keegan-Michael Key, Frank Caliendo, Andy Daley, and Phil LaMarr.

No MadTV, no "Get Out".

Kiss MadTV on the mouth.
Do it.
*Pulls gun*
I said do it.


Saturday Night Special (1996)

Roseanne tried to make a sketch comedy show.
It lasted a month.
I hated it.
I can't find images from it.
Why is it on this list?
To make you appreciate MadTV.
And to be completist about how many SNL clones the 90's had running around.


The Ben Stiller Show 
(1989-1990 (MTV)) 
(1992-1993 (Fox))

Gave us Ben Stiller, Janine Garofolo, Andy Dick, and Judd Apatow.

Judd Apatow gave Paul Feig's career a shot in the arm, and then he directed Ghostbusters ATC.
No Ben Stiller, no Ghostbusters revival.

Kiss Ben Stiller on the mouth.
Don't make me get the gun again.

Anyhoo, this was genuinely funny, then Ben Stiller's career after this was rom-coms and kiddie shit, and he wasn't his true self again until "Zoolander".

Then he recently did "Zoolander 2", and ruined everything.
Yeah, you wanna see a bad followup to an original film with Kristen Wiig, this is the one you should cry about, not Ghostbusters.
Watch "Zoolander 2", and then come back, and kiss Ghostbusters ATC on the mouth.
With tongues.
Hard.
Really get in there.


Syndication-

Space Precinct (1994-1995)

Hmm, how to describe?
Imagine a G-rated "Red Dwarf", that took itself seriously, was written like a Saturday morning cartoon, but imagined it was "Babylon 5", level good.

I admired its pluck and ambition.
It wasn't cringe-y, it was actually pretty watchable.

The lead aliens were done with actors in puppet heads instead of regular makeup.
They looked pretty good for the budget.
"Farscape", would go on to use puppet characters, but this gets no credit for starting that trend.

I actually kinda wish someone would buy the rights to this, and give the reruns a couple spins.
Wasn't the best thing in the world, but it wasn't bad either.


Island City (1994)

A TV movie that was a failed series pilot.

So, wrap your head around this, the good guys were into eugenics in this.
Yeah.

The backstory to this universe is, humans came up with a formula for eternal youth and health, and gave it to everyone who wanted it, which is almost everyone, but a not insignificant chunk of the population had a bad reaction to it, and de-evolved into violent rapey cavemen.

The cavemen are sealed outside of a force-field domed city called Island City where all the pretty people live.

The pretty people figured out that regressive cavemen could still be born among them from the wrong mix of genes, so they tighten control on mating and breeding by giving everyone mood ring sternum implants that change a certain color for certain DNA types, and only people of the same implant color can date and fuck.

One of the good guys is a child of caveman rape, so he's got caveman features, but is intelligent, and fights for the good guy's team.
His implant is black, so he's not allowed to fuck anyone.

All of this is the backdrop and setup, the main plot is the good guys go out in armored transports to rescue normal people out in the wastelands from caveman rape.

There seems to have been some environmental apocalypse on top of everything else, because only the dome cities are safe.

It's....interesting.
You can watch it on Youtube.
You can decide whether to laugh or be horrified.
Giving it the MST3K treatment would help you through either.


Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995-1999)
-And-
Xena: Warrior Princess (1995-2001)

Old reviews here.

These are still in rerun circulation.

Kevin Sorbo got his spine cracked by a chiropractor, and somehow, this made him see Jesus, and now he does horrible Christian movies that hate-monger against atheists.
So, stay the fuck away from chiropractors, kids.

Lucy Lawless retained her marbles, and is in Ash vs Evil Dead, and is still a goddess.


Robocop (1994-1995)

Old review here.

Hmm, think I said it all there.
Yep.


Babylon 5 (1994-1998)

Old review here.

There's no doubt now that Deep Space Nine ripped this off.
I don't know WHY they did, they didn't need it, there was no pressing need for them to steal someone else's idea when they already had a rich universe of their own to build ideas off of.
Did they see this show, even in unborn form, as a morbid threat to Trek's ratings?
I dunno. We'll never know.
The parties involved will take the thought process involved to their graves.

But, whatever, each show ended up having its own identity, its own arc, its own message, so they stand apart.
Just wish I could find this in reruns somewhere.

I said in the old review that I wondered if this holds up, but...fuck it, I still watch old TNG with its crummy CGI, so this must be okay to revisit.


The Outer limits (1995-2002)

Eh, it's all right.
There's some good ones in there.

My favorite is "abduction", which is about school shootings, but with a sci-fi twist.
Liked the song at the end too.
Fans have sifted it out, here's that.
Very 90's.
No one knows the band, the singer, there's no single for it, it's just one of those lost orphaned songs that float away and pop like a bubble and vanish unless you catch them.
Hulu has the whole episode, but I dunno if they're free anymore.


Holy fuck, I'm finally done!!!
I dunno why this one was so hard.
I pecked away at it two shows at a time, couldn't work up the will on some days, but it's finally finished.

Hopefully the next one will fly by easier.
It's part 2 of TV, cable TV.
Crazier shit on cable, so it was more fun, so the memories should be more fun and flow easier.

So, yeah, up next, 90's cable TV!!


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Happy 14th anniversary, Freddy vs Jason!

• 8th.
• 9th.
• 10th. (11th in comments)

This year "Slash Of The Titans".

The Freddy & Jason franchises seem effectively dead, but the announcement of a reboot or documentary could land any minute now.
You never know.
"Slash Of The Titans", came out of nowhere.

Work on "Scream Queen", keeps progressing albeit slowly, and Robert Englund is doing "Nightmares In The Makeup Chair".

There's a "Friday The 13th", video game out, and reviews are mixed.

Jason and Leatherface were in the latest Mortal Kombat.

Slasher genre is on another long hiatus (like the 90's when Scream was the big thing) while people lean more towards Stephen King remakes, and nostalgia trips like "Stranger Things".
Which suits me fine, I ain't bitching, it's good stuff.

I've got 8 Freddy movies, and "Never Sleep Again", which is more than I could ask for.
Still, if they keep making documentaries and books, I'm gonna get 'em.

And if they ever re-reboot, I'll check it out with an open mind, but the last one lowered my expectations.

So, that's 2017.
Like to use this date as a franchise update every couple years.
We'll see where we're at in 2020.



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The big summer movie recap. Part 5.

There they are, arranged in order of goodness as is the tradition now.

We had a couple things bomb, like Ghost In The Shell, Valerian, and The Mummy, but overall, a pretty damned good summer.
Better than last year.
Last year had critics bawling like it was the fucking end times.

And superhero season isn't over with until winter, and if we start with Logan, and end with "Thor Ragnarok", and "Justice League", and if they live up to the trailers, this just might be the best year for superhero movies....EVER.

Until "Infinity War", finally rolls out.

Anyhoozles....

Series recap.

• The big summer movie recap.
• The big summer movie recap. Part 2.
• The big summer movie recap. Part 3.
• The big summer movie recap. Part 4.

Now, the movies...

1. Wonder Woman.

If I had it to do over, I think I would have seen this more times instead of 4-7 at all.
They weren't bad films, I enjoyed them, but more trips to this one would have made me happier, I think.

2. Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Could've seen this one at least twice too.

3. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.

Ditto.

4. Baby Driver.

Best of the non-superhero ones.
I guess I need to balance my diet out sometime, don't I?

5. The Dark Tower.

Given that the last King-based theatrical release was the shitty Carrie remake, hands down the best King adaption to the theater in decades.
I expect better from "IT", though.

6. Atomic Blonde.

Can never have enough of Charlize Theron killing people.
Hurry up with that Furiosa prequel!

7. Alien: Covenant.

...and then this one plunges down to fucking number 15.

Clever boy, Ridley, you not only gave the finger to pricks that hated and were unfair to Prometheus, you gave the other finger to guys like me that liked and defended Prometheus.

Let's see you finance the next one now, wise-ass.
See how that goes.
Should be interesting.


And, that was the summer of 2017.
Another one for the books.

Coming this winter, the aforementioned Thor Ragnarok, and Justice League, as well as IT, and Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

Coming next year, Black Panther, Infinity War, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Aquaman, Young Han Solo, Deadpool 2, Incredibles 2, Ready Player One, Wreck It Ralph 2, A Wrinkle In Time, Rampage, and others that I'm currently not taking seriously, but might surprise me anyway.


So, stay tuned, and see you again in September for IT!


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