Thursday, February 16, 2012

Superhero TeeVee Too!!


All righty, so, last time, we left off in the 80's with these, right?

Okay then, let's keep going all the way up to today....


The Highwayman


The show-

Okay, so, it's like this, in the mid/late 80's America became infatuated with Australian culture.
"Crocodile Dundee", got that shit going.
But, maybe even Mel Gibson and the Mad Max-es before that....remember, this was long before we knew he was a crazy drunk Nazi.

So, there was this Aussie punk looking guy called "Jacko", in the Energizer commercials, and...the public fell head over heels for him, like, people forget, he was as big as "where's the beef?", at one point, it was Jacko-mania.

Well, here...


So, society rewarded him for that with the greatest gift it knows how to give, a TV series.

Aaand, ehhh, it was all right.

I dug it back then, but remember, I dug Automan, and Manimal...

All right, so the brunette guy in the pic was actually the title character, and Jacko was the sidekick.
And they rolled around in that big motor-home thingy you see up there, and the top of the trailer could unfold, and the whole top half, including that pointy cab separated off into a helicopter.

They'd try to work that at least once into every episode.

Most times, Jacko flew the helicopter, and Highwayman drove the truck.

Also, Highwayman had a gun with a dial on the side that adjusted the caliber of the bullets.
...I've spent years in the back of my mind on how to mechanically get that to work, still no dice....

So...it's like...they were making a 20th century land/air version of Han Solo, kinda.
I...think that's what they were going for....

Anyway, I think that lasted a season, two, tops.

Then, Rosanne hit, and the era of sitcoms with edgy standup stars started up, and that killed SF on the big networks.
But, much as it pains me to say it, cuz I love the stuff, looking back, it was time for them to go.
Or, at least to hibernate for awhile.
They had a good run.
From Steve Austin, to Jacko, those were some good years.

Anyway, when mainstream culture flushed the sf/action/superhero genres, it took the whole Aussie-mania thing with it, and...things haven't quite been the same between our countries.

They learned what a fickle little teenage bitch America can be.

The history-

The above covers it.


My Secret Identity



The show-

So, with superhero/SF dead on the networks, they went to syndication.
Usually, carried by local FOX affiliates.

And this here fills the gap in Jerry O'Connell's career from "Stand By Me", to "Sliders".

My review on that/him from here....

Sliders

This showed so much promise, but never before have I seen a show jump so many fuckin' sharks.
Ouch.
But, in those early seasons, it was really good.
I gained a new appreciation for John Rhys-Davies from this.
He's really a cool cat.
He lobbied for the show to be hard-sci-fi, and bailed when they wanted to make it dumb for the masses.
So, if you Netflix, Torrent, or buy this, bail on it when his character gets killed off.
That's the red flag.
One thing this show did demonstrate, was Jerry O'Connel's luck-invincibility powers.
The implosion of this show didn't seem to touch him, and he keeps getting plum roles, and ended up with Rebecca Romijn.
And Piranha 3-D?
Piece of shit, it made 80 million dollars.
The guy stumbles over piles of gold.
It's infuriating.
Yet I like the guy.
It's part of his damnable superpower.
Curses.

Okay, now let's rewind back, and talk about this show.

So, the scientist looking guy in the pic, he accidentally zaps Jerry with a gamma ray beam, and instead of killing him, this endows him with superspeed running, and the ability to levitate, but not exactly fly, but he uses spray cans to guide his flight.

When CFCs became the boogeyman du jour, it was suddenly politically incorrect to fly with spray cans, so they either had him learn to fly without them, or get another dose of rays, and upgrade his flight that way.
I think he also finally got his wish for super strength from that second zap.

Anyway, this show hung on for awhile, even outlasting Superboy, which came out at the same time.
And it took Jerry up into his teens.

Cute show.
In the last few episodes, it became less about superpowers, and more of a sitcom-y thing about the characters, and bullshitting up ways to put them in altered realities so the actors could play around as different characters and such.

But, yeah.

Oh, and the professor guy was the worm man in "Freaked".
He did some car commercials or something too....

The history-

The above covers it.


Chameleons


The show-

A failed CBS pilot.

Guess they were testing the waters, but no, superheroes still weren't gonna (forgive the pun) fly on the big networks.

Not until The Flash, anyway.

So, the premise to this was, this guy finds out his dead dad was a superhero for the government, and his dad's old partner takes him under his wing to groom him to be his replacement.

The chameleon deal comes in that they wear costumes that can change color, and their capes are green-screens that can flat out make them invisible.

Aside from that, they're pretty much at Batman levels of tech.

The history-

It was corny, and cheesey, but...I woulda liked to have seen a couple more episodes before it fizzled.

Oh, and round about this time, or earlier, there was this one, also a failed pilot, where a superhero inside a comic strip, that knows he's a comic strip, finds a way to fly fast enough to break the reality barrier, and come into our world, then from there, it becomes a sitcom.
I can't find any information on that at all, I can't even remember the title.
If someone remembers, help me out.


Forever Knight


The show-

About a vampire cop.

I remember, it premiered on either CBS, or NBC, as "Nick Knight", failed miserably, and then went to syndication as "Forever knight".

Kinda like...a white Blade, with a dash of Highlander, a smidge of Law & Order, and the fashion sense of Spike from "Buffy".

The history-

It was awful, I hated it.
It was porn for lonely women.

I hate porn vampires.
The culmination of that is fucking "Twilight".
The guy in this wasn't that bad, he had some balls, but still....the seeds were planted, and the clock on the bomb was ticking.


Robocop: The Series


The show/history-

See here.


Power Rangers



The show-

So, we're well into the 90's now, and starting with "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers", this thing has been on for 19 years, and as you can see in the graphic I assembled, there have been just as many spinoff incarnations (left out the MMPR reboot).

Holy shit...20 years of this shit next year...holy shit...if you told me back then, I woulda laughed in your face.

I covered the two movies here..
And...I think I said it all pretty well there, actually....

The history-

The above covers it.


Hercules: The Legendary Journeys


The show-

So, yeah, superheroes, still out in the syndication wilderness....

Covered this fairly well in "Hercules!".
Or, as good as I could....

Anyway, corny as this often was, it was leaps better than a lot of the drek that led up to it, as these reviews reveal.
Compared to the outright schlock shows, this was a revolution.

The history-

The above covers it, especially the link.


Xena: Warrior Princess


The show-

Spinoff of Hercules (duh!) this was a lot better.

Darker edged stuff, better character development.
Pretty sure this paved the way for Buffy, and her spinoffs.

And boy, was this ever a hit with the lesbian community!

The history-

I had a huge crush on Gabby.
Oh, don't get me wrong, Xena got me horny, but she was a handful, I would've liked to have dated Gabby.
Xena was a one night stand, and be glad you survived the night kinda thing.
Anyway, the Gabby crush kept me watching.
Well, until they butched off her hair, and started doing dark stuff to her character.


BibleMan


The show-

Ugh...*facepalm*

Well, I'm surprised this combination didn't happen sooner, actually.

So...Willie Aames, who you'll remember (if you're a gen-X-er) as Scott Baio's sidekick in "Charles In Charge", and "Zapped", is Bibleman.

Tch,...Willie, Willie, Willie....you spend the 80's pooning Scott's castoffs,...and then you go all Jesus-y on us?

Why, why, WHY does this happen?

And why, when you pour Christian sauce on things, does it become lousy?
Superheroes, comic strips, rock music, folk music, films....

Although, I hear the Muslims are catching up, with shitty versions of "Friends", and a castrated take on "South Park", so...hey that's....progress?

History-

Anyway, everyone from MadTV, to Venture Brothers has goofed on poor Bibleman.

Both versions went the most blatant route of knocking Christianity's stance on homosexuals.
Well, on the one hand, it's shooting fish in barrel, on the other hand...it had to be done, or satirists aren't doing their job.


Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation


The show-

So, Turtle-Mania was finally coughing up its last breath into a bloody hanky, and the last stop off before oblivion, was whoring the property to Saban/Levy, to produce a live-action version, and cross them over with Power Rangers.

I'll just leave you to stare in horror at that graphic for a bit...

The history-

I was done with Turtles looong before this, but I'd note the ads for shit like this with passive bemusement.


Buffy The Vampire Slayer


The show-

Covered the movie here...

And I boiled down my summation of the show fairly well here...

Hated it.
It got a bit better when they got out of high school.
I never liked the actual character of Buffy though, liked Willow better.
And again, only when they got out of high school.
That last couple of seasons.
Well, except for the very last season.
There's only a very little window of Buffy I can stand.
And again, not the character herself.
Not a high recommendation, is it?

Yeah, I was a Willow fan, and mostly in seasons 5-6.
Hence, me digging up a graphic with her in it.
Ahhh..

Whedon has made continued "seasons", in comics form, and I've skimmed spoiler synopses of where they've taken the characters, and...those can just go suck eggs.

The history-

The above just about covers it.
From about Buffy onward, the cultural boats everyone was getting on, I've let pass along.
Rarely is the thing that everyone's into my thing too anymore.


The Tick


The show-

Fucking great.
What is there to say?
It's The Tick.

The history-

Man, on the one hand, you had great stuff like Tick out there, finally...on the other hand, this is the same time  that comic shops turned comic book geeks into hateful exclusionary insufferable pud-fumblers.

I wasn't in on the whole Tick thing when it very first broke, so I walked up and asked some of these assholes what the big deal about Tick was...and...they acted like I asked what fucking water was, you know?

And I was like "oh, wow, this is what I waited for all these fucking years? The geeks are finally rising up, it's not jocks vs. nerds anymore...and they're gonna exclude ME??? ME?!?!? Well fuuuuck this!".

I still carry residue of that with me.
Stuff like that shows you what people really are.

I didn't let it ruin Tick for me though.
Fuck them, that's way more than they deserve.

But no, that whole comic shop era left me out in the cold more often than it didn't.
My memories are full of mixed emotions.
I'm so glad for Amazon, and TFAW.

Sorry if this is a downer....


Heroes


The show-

So, this, and Smallville, were really when superheroes broke back through into mainstream culture.

Paving the way for, well, the wave of hero movies that have been gushing forth since the 00's.
The wave will break someday, but I hope for it to hang on as long as possible.

As for the show itself, it was brilliant in the first couple seasons, almost on par with Watchmen, and then...pppt.
It will be missed.

And, hopefully, this raises the bar forever.
Yeah, network suits, this is how good it was always supposed to fucking be!
This is what we've been telling you.
Now you get it!

The history-

The above covers it.


Terminator: 
The Sarah Connor Chronicles


The show-

An alternate timeline continuation of T2.

Excellent.
FOX sucks when it comes to keeping good shit like this on the air, though.
Ask Futurama.

Oh, and it bears mentioning that the cute Terminator chick was River in Firefly.
The Rivernator!

The history-

Only got to see a handful of episodes before it got killed off.
Shame...


No Ordinary Family


The show-

As far as I can tell, live-action "The Incredibles".

The history-

Never saw it, always forgot when it was on.
Dammit.
Ah, well, I heard it kinda stunk.

Aaaand that takes it up to 2010, and that's close enough.


Hmnh, are there any hero shows on now that aren't animated?
I don't think so...

Yeah, maybe the wave crashed....

Well, we got some really good shit out of it this time through the cycle.
So, there's that.


Up next: I Love The 30's!!

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