Friday, December 16, 2011

Superhero Flicks, Part 12.6: All The Rest (Part 1.6, Robocop)

All righty, so Transformers was my big kid-hood inspiration, now comes the R rated superhero of my early teens.



The film-

Fucking great.
The older it gets, the more I love it.
Well, maybe it's more the older I get, the more I love it.

More and more, the world looks like the world of Robocop.

Well, a mish-mash of Robocop, Bladerunner, and Tron.

The dark satire just keeps getting more and more on the nose with each passing news cycle.

The history-

I think this was officially the first one for me where my parents, and everyone their age, just totally didn't fucking get it, and they sorta all sneezed at it, but now, it's recognized as a legitimate fucking classic.
The whole generation gap thing started to turn right about here.

Don't believe me?
Check this out.
"Bitches leave", t-shirt.
"I'll buy that for a dollar!", shirt.
Yeah, no boomer's gonna make that product for us.
So much the better for it.

Robocop 2

The film-

Eh, s'okay.
Didn't have the satirical sting of the first one, looks great, and it's still Weller, and it's a good adventure.

The history-

I used to like the song to this, and I turned myself inside out trying to find it, never ever could.
Drove me batty.

Now, look, *15 second Youtube search*
Couldn't you just shit?
*Listens* that Kinison at the end?
*Happy laugh* fuck yeah!!

Robocop 3

The film-

No Weller, bad everything else, poopie.

The history-

Apparently, the suits fucked Miller over good and hard over his script for this, and 2, but here, they fucked him hardest, and he put his tantrum over that experience to paper, and that tantrum became Sin City.

So, you have Robocop 3 to thank for Sin City.
Isn't that weird?
How that comes around like that?
That's weird.

Robocop: The Series

The show-

Eh, for de-nutted violence wise, it wasn't so bad.
Better than a lot of shitty TV at the time.

Favorite episode, the one where Robo teams up with Roddy Piper as Commander Cash.
Think that's out on Youtube somewhere...

The history-

Kinda dug the theme.
It's a bit cheesey, but, hey, Joe Walsh and Lita Ford.
Dumb TV station would never let me hear it. Assholes.

Robocop: The Animated Series

The show-

Another one from that weird period of turning R rated properties into kid stuff.
There was a Rambo one too.
Fucked up.

There were Alien and Predator toys too, I was always surprised they didn't do an Aliens cartoon to go with that shit. Woulda been a laugh riot.

Anyway, this was "Rubik The Amazing Cube", levels of awful.

The history-

One of those ones I was so happy to see exist, I convinced myself I liked it.
*Goes back, and smacks self*

Robocop: The Arcade Game

The game-

Keeeck ahhsss!!!

The history-

Old Orchard Beach had one of these.
Fucking sweet.

Robocop: Alpha Commando

The show-

Looked a little better than the first animated show, still pretty fuckin' corny.

The history-

Peeked at a couple episodes, bailed.

Robocop: Prime Directives

The miniseries-

The guys who made this stormed a beach, climbed a muddy hill, and broke their backs to make this.
So, theoretically, I should be grateful.
I'm not, and I can't make myself be, it's atrocious.
Total fan-wank.

The history-

I was actually pumped up to see this.
The assurances that this would be the best thing ever were something right out of a fucking presidential campaign.

Robocop vs. Terminator

See here.

Terminator-Robocop: Kill Human

Again, see here.

And here, for followup.

Robocop (2013)

Yhep, nother fuckin' remake.
Fuck off, Hollywood.

Up next, Toxie.

(BTW, this goes between this, and this)


hyla2 said...

See, I always wanted a "Can you FLY, Bobby?" t-shirt.


Diacanu said...

Ah, Kurtwood Smith, everything he's in gets a notch cooler.

...except Boxing Helena...that was a black hole that ate goodness....

hyla2 said...

I can't believe I saw this in the theater. Yes. Do the math.


WITH my year younger little brother. And . . . (wait for it) . . .

My parents. And they DIDN'T make us walk out! THEY LET US SEE THE WHOLE FUCKING THING! <:D

Can still hardly believe that, to this day.

hyla2 said...

. . .

I assume you're having some kind of paralyzing rage-gasm right now.


Diacanu said...

Did you run out of the theater singing the "luckiest boy in the world", song?

Cuz, I think it applied...

hyla2 said...

No. But I did spend the rest of the evening moving like I was constructed of hydraulics and servos.

Diacanu said...

*Twirls invisible gun*

"Ma'am, you have suffered trauma, I will take you to a rape crisis center".

hyla2 said...

HA! Ahh . . . so many good 'uns.

Like 'Predator'.

I had a couple of people over for my b-day a year or two back and insisted we rent and watch Robo as a birthday boy demand. No one else was enthralled. Tsk.

Diacanu said...

Well, see, happens to us all.

Diacanu said...

Saw a dude on Youtube, who was deprived of Garbage Pail Kids, and the GPK movie as a kid, so, his friends got him the movie, and watched it with him.

Now, THAT was awkward.

..that's coming up in one of these.

Diacanu said...

Hey, there you go, show your friends GPKTM, they'll high-hosey-touch-the-ground for Robocop.

hyla2 said...

I should say so! Geez, THAT movie . . .

Saw that in the theaters, too.

(shrinks down into collar)


. . .

It was a slow summer for movies.

Diacanu said... I thought I had an iron constitution...

hyla2 said...

SAAAYYY, now THERE'S something ripe for the ol' reboot mill!

Diacanu said...

Hmm, well...the cards are back, you know...

hyla2 said...

Do they look like Cabbage Patch Kids?

Because if they don't, I don't wanna hear it. When GPKs surrendered to litigation at last and made the kids on the cards look unlike CPKs? That's when they stopped being funny. Right there.

Diacanu said...

Um..there's new ones, and they don't look like the CPK...but, they re-released the oldies as "GPK Flashback", and those are immune from the suit.

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