Big 2019 Movies Part 1.

Previously-

All The Movies!! 2012-2018


And the new year begins!
I got delayed by bad weather and bullshit, like I usually do.
I never get to pull off opening day once we hit January, February, March.
Fucking winter.

Anyhoo! Finally busted out!
Here we go!


Glass (2019)

Previously with this franchise...

• Unbreakable
• Split

Rundown-

• Loved it. Don't know what the critics are bitching about.
• If you liked "Unbreakable", and "Split", you'll at least dig it, if not love it. 
• Where you rank it on the trilogy is up to you. I haven't decided, myself.
• Culminates this trilogy, sets up more.
• It's got the trademark twists. Four of 'em!
• Lot of talking before we get to the fight stuff. This ain't a Marvel or DC flick.
• But, again, it goes back to "Unbreakable", and "Split", aren't Marvel/DC either, so if you're expecting that, you're a dumbass.
• Can't wait to add it to the collection.
• Deleted scenes from "Unreakable", show up, and where I thought they sucked as bonuses on the "Unbreakable", DVD, they work here.
• Shyamalan had this, or a version of it, planned all along. 
• It's not doing great box-office, but it only cost 20 million, so it'll profit. Whether that profit will justify a part 4 or not, we'll have to see. I hope it does. 
• Mmmm...everything else would be spoiler territory. Just like we couldn't talk about Split's twist until everyone saw it.
• Don't let the critics scare you, if you wanted to see it, go see it.

And, 2019 is officially cracked open, and the first present is pulled out.
And we're off to a good start.


Next time, Captain Marvel!


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Pop culture updates #21.

• Parts 1-11.
• Parts 12-19.
• Part 20. (Toxie reboot)

Another little nugget of Ghostbusters news, and it's....

GHOSTBUSTERS 3!!!!!!

For real this time!!!

Yep, after dropping sly hints forever (here and here), and way ahead of the 35th anniversary, they just blurted it right out in the middle of the night.
Like Ray thinking of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

Jason Reitman is directing and writing.
It'll be a sequel to 1 & 2, no connection to ATC.
No word on casting, but it's safe to assume they can at least get back everyone who cameo-ed in GB:ATC.
Bill Murry and Rick Moranis will be tougher to get.
There'll be new characters too, so touches of "Extreme Ghostbusters".

They're aiming for a 2020 release.
The animated movie has been pushed to 2021.

Rest of the details in the link below.

Here.


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Happy 6th birthday, Jade Shade!

Previous years.

• Year 1.
• Year 2.
• Year 3.
• Year 4.
• Year 5.

From last year...

Now, I not only have the next book idea lined up that I mentioned on New Year's, but a new Harry story popped into my head yesterday that'll make the JS/Harry hybrid compilation better, and feel more complete and resolved.

It'll be a final episode of Harry, and will come out on the 30th anniversary.

It did.

Happy 30th birthday, Harry Hembock!!!!!!!!

Goodbye, Harry Hembock.

Hopefully, by next year, the next book will be underway.
Stay tuned.


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Happy 30th birthday, Harry Hembock!!!!!!!!

Previous birthdays.

• The 21st.
• The 22nd.
• The 23rd.
• The 24th.
• The 25th.
• The 26th.
• The 27th.
• The 28th.
• The 29th.

Stuff that happened after the 29th.

• The (sixth) YEAR Of Hembock!
• Happy 10th anniversary, Harry Hembock: Dark Designs!
• Unobserved 13th anniversary of "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock"
• Goodbye, Harry Hembock.

The big present is "Goodbye, Harry Hembock", so go click that.
Said the rest on the 29th.

It was a helluva run, buddy.



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Goodbye, Harry Hembock.

Harry Hembock Diamond.

Part 1:
Goodbye, Harry Hembock.


2019.
In a parallel dimension of the Harry Hembock graphic novel universe where everything was the same in every microscopic detail, except that Harry Hembock had cornflakes instead of Cheerios one day, Harry Hembock monitored an anomaly on his teleporter console.

He tuned into the anomaly, and set up a counter-frequency to block it.
Then, he set up a block to the block, and scanned through it order to tune into the source of the anomaly without being scanned back.

He saw various others of his dimensional counterparts getting beamed up, and merged into one.
Then, that one bouncing all around the timeline of the Jade-Shade universe, until he cobbled together a semblance of a happy ending for those characters.

This Harry thought he could do better.
But, he'd have to go further back.
He tuned into that dimension, and set the time coordinates back to 1975.


1975.

Harry materialized in a foggy swirl of colors and shapes.
No sense of up or down, left or right, time or location.

He was in a haze of baby memories.

Before the Harryverse was formed.


1977.

The baby became a kid, and a space movie by that THX guy from Modesto finally pierced the fog.
Thankfully, the distorted sense of time made the transition from '75 to now seem like a few mere moments.

Harry concentrated, and manifested himself (in the kid's mind) into an action figure from the movie.
"The brown haired one", he decided.
It would be close enough.


1978-1980.

The kid's interests shifted over to a show about a green comic book monster.
The kid did crappy crayon scribble drawings of this monster.
The Harryverse was born.

Harry concentrated, and as the action figure, stepped into the paper-verse, and stood next to the scribble monster.

The kid would process it as a dream, and then forget it all.

"So, you're how it starts", Harry said to the creature.
Harry morphed from an action figure of the movie space pirate, to an action figure of himself, to just himself.
His reality was re-solidifying the closer to the mainline Harryverse he got.

The creature merely answered with a confused "ruh?".

Harry whipped out the remote for the teleport from an unseen pocket, opened a compartment, popped out a small stick-on transmitter patch, and slapped it onto the crayon scribble monster.
He pressed a few buttons on the remote, and they both de-materialized.


1981.

Harry and the scribble monster materialized next to a jellybean with stick arms and stick legs.
It was Jellybean-Man.

"Hi, I'm Jellybean-Man!!", said Jellybean-Man in a high squeaky voice.

"Yeah...I...I gathered", Harry mumbled.

He then pointed to the scribble monster, and said "this is a scribble version of...The Prodigious Mass, so...call him Scribble-Mass I guess, and I'm Harry Hembock".

"Hi!!", Jellybean-Man said while waving one of his stick arms.

Harry slapped a fruit sticker sized teleport tag on Jellybean-Man, and he dissolved, along with Harry and Scribble-Mass.


1981, mere months later.

Harry, Jellybean-Man, and Scribble-Mass materialized next to a hawk with a little cloth chest covering like a shirt. On the shirt was a chest shield, and on the chest shield was the letter "T".

The bird cawed.
Harry ran the caws through the translator on his remote, and up popped a line of text saying "I am Tuperbird! Super plus "T"! The "T", is for "tough!"".

"Of course it is", mumbled Harry.

He tagged the bird, and the four of them de-materialized.


1982.

Harry, Jellybean-Man, Scribble-Mass, and Tuperbird materialized next to an anthropomorphic 5-pointed star in a superhero costume.
This was Superstar.

"Superstar! Now we're talking! We're getting close now!", Harry exclaimed with relief.

Superstar made a confused face, and went to say something, but Harry tagged him, and the 5 of them dissolved.


1983.

Harry, Jellybean-Man, Scribble-Mass, Tuperbird, and Superstar materialized next to a video game blip of a chomping mouth vomiting profusely.

Harry recognized this creature as "Pucky".

Harry slipped Pucky an anti-nausea pill from another unseen pocket, and the creature slowly felt better.

He tagged Pucky, and the 6 of them were gone.


1983-again.

Harry, Jellybean-Man, Scribble-Mass, Tuperbird, Superstar, and Pucky materialized next to a row of teeth with red arms and legs weilding a giant toothbrush with foaming toothpaste coating the bristles.
This was Supersmile.

They were inside a giant mouth that had been attacked by plaque monsters.
The monsters were coated with the same foaming toothpaste as the brush, and were laying dead on the pink squishy ground.

Supersmile seemed to instantly recognize an act of teleportation when he saw it, and immediately said to Harry "get me out of this nightmare Hellscape!".

Harry complied as quickly as was humanly possible, and then there were seven.


1984.

Harry, Jellybean-Man, Scribble-Mass, Tuperbird, Superstar, Pucky, and Supersmile materialized into a character sheet of up to 30 other characters.
All of them terrible rips of other better characters.

They were "The P Team".

Harry said "okay, I think I have enough of you guys to get a quantum lock on this reality now".

Harry tagged the members of the P Team, cross-referenced the quantum signature on all the characters he had so far, and got a unversal signal for this universe.

As he did, a switch in reality was thrown, and a base drew itself around them.
A volcano base complete with teleports, food materializers, computers, holographic rec-rooms, and any other superhero fun gizmo one could think of.

Then a town drew itself around the volcano base.

Then a parallel version of America drew itself around the town.

Then the rest of the Earth filled in.
Then the solar system.
And so on.

The Harryverse was fully formed.

And it had only taken 9 years.
Scrunched down to a few minutes.

Harry tuned his teleport remote to the remote frequency of the base's computers.
He created an up-link, and his teleport back home upgraded the crummy 80's computers to 2019 operating systems.
The upgraded computers tuned the base teleports into functional duplicates of his teleport.

The upgraded teleports reconfigured the base power core from nuclear to anti-matter.

The anti-matter boosted teleports then physically upgraded the base computers from 80's microchip boards to optronic circuits.

This whole process took a minute.

"There we go!", Harry mumbled in satisfaction, and nodded.

He used his remote to take control of the base's teleport, target it outside, found the location of his future house, and replicated it into existence.
Then, he beamed himself there.

And then Harry was back home, full circle.
Original teleport and all.
But, now he was rooted to this universe.

Harry set the teleport to scan the TV news, and make recordings, and then jumped ahead a year.


1985.

Harry appeared, and punched up what the system recorded.
He sped it up and condensed it by running some search algorithms.

The P Team allied themselves with a race of sentient giant robots called "The Roboton Defenders".
The P Team and Robotons were decimated by two evil androids made from Roboton tech combined with black magic.
The evil androids were killed by the US Army upgraded by Roboton tech.
The Army scavenged all the dead Robotons to dissect for even more tech.

Sickened by what they had seen, the P Team started building a starship, and then vanished from all media coverage.

Reports did however pop up of a new superhero in town called Planetary Patrolman.

Harry traced down the projected location of his base, and beamed there.

He arrived at a pile of cut down trees and brush being used as a sort of sideways tree-house.
There was a man playing in the "tree-house", as if it were a base with computers.

The man saw Harry materialize, and nodded as if with recognition.
He then pulled out a sort of flip phone, pressed a few buttons, and the "tree-house", vanished as a holographic disguise revealing a real base with real computers.

"Ah", Harry said relieved that the man wasn't insane.

The man pressed some more buttons on the phone/controller, and he de-cloaked to stand revealed as....Harry.

"Okay, that I didn't see coming", our-Harry said.

"You should have though", other-Harry said.

"How so?", our-Harry said.

"How do you think you intuitively tracked down my coordinates?", other-Harry said.

"Good point", our-Harry said.

"Questions?", other-Harry said.

"Several", our-Harry said.

"Let's have 'em!", other-Harry said.

"Well, for one, when do I become you? And, I'm pretty sure Planetary Patrolman is and was a separate guy in Jade-Shade", our-Harry said.

"You become me in mere moments, and that other Planetary Patrolman has memory implants to think he was me, it's a whole thing".

Other-Harry popped a disk out of his phone/controller, and stuck it to our-Harry's forehead.
Memories flooded in.
Our-Harry instantly understood what do do.

Our-Harry beamed back in time 1 year.
He called up the teleports at the volcano base, and replicated the Planetary Patrolman base, and turned on it's tree-house holo-cloak.
He then holo-cloaked himself as Planetary Patrolman.

As Planetary Patrolman, he stopped several bad guys from destroying the world.

He then found Wayne Vance, and memory implanted him with those adventures.
But, he put a block on them so Wayne thought they were just childhood play.
Until he later as an adult became Commander Continuum.

The year ran out, and his past self materialized, and they had the same conversation all over again, then his past self went back in time again, completing the loop.

Harry pushed some buttons on the phone/controller, and it de-cloaked as his 2019 teleport remote.

He tapped some more buttons, and the control AI, SILICO, morphed back into Omneron.

He tapped away at yet more controls, and the volcano base de-replicated the Planetary Patrolmen base.
It wasn't needed anymore.
He beamed back home.


1985-again.

Harry flashed back.

When he was floating in the baby-void in 1975, he scooped up a gloop of void-stuff into a sample cup, and stuffed it into his pocket.
He still had it.

When he met Scribble-Mass in 1978-1980, he distracted Scribble-Mass with coin magic, and plucked off a frayed crayon line, and put it in another sample cup.
He still had that too.

He pulled out the two sample cups.
He poured the baby-void gloop into the cup with the green crayon line.
The gloop dissolved the line, and turned green.
The green gloop began to move.

Harry put the cup on the floor, and beamed it away.

The cup of green living gloop appeared in a genetics lab.
A lab where Dr. Jonathan Parks happened to be working.

Jonathan Parks noticed the cup, looked at it it, and just then, the gloop jumped out of the cup, and landed on his face.
The gloop began to burn, and he passed out from the pain.

The gloop ate and grew, ate and grew, and completely absorbed Dr. Parks.
In doing so, it absorbed his memories, and became intelligent.

The intelligent gloop beamed away.

It appeared at Harry's house.
It tried to attack Harry.
It was stopped by a force-field.

It morphed a face with red catlike eyes, and a mouth with rows of fangs.
In a gurgly voice, it said "I am Globulus Dahk Grooaarr-aarr! Set me free, that I may destroy!".

Harry smirked, and said "yeah, that's a mouthful of nonsense, I'm just gonna call you Glob".

Harry replicated a brain interface patch, and sent it back in time.

The patch appeared on Dr. Jonathan Parks's forehead. It downloaded the memories of Glob when he was a good guy from Harry's home dimension, then it put up a block, and made Dr. Parks forget the memories on a conscious level. But, they'd be there for Glob to absorb.
Which was the point.

Then, the memory patch vanished, and history happened as it was intended to.

The repressed memories activated in Glob, and he calmed down, and formed into a more humanoid shape.

"Better?", Harry asked.

"Better", Glob said.

Harry dropped the force-field.

"So, what happens now?", Glob asked.

"You? You're going to space. You have an important role to play later", Harry answered.
And with that, Harry beamed Glob to the volcano base where they were still working on that starship.

Harry beamed ahead a year.


1986.

Harry scanned the stored news broadcasts again.

The starship full of superheroes left the Earth.
It was made to look like a hamburger with a hot dog sticking out the back.
Literally.
It was a flying fast food restaurant called the USS Burger-Boy.
The crew decided they needed to make money out in space, so they'd run the ship as a business.
It was either the most stupid idea ever, or genius.
Harry leaned more towards it being the former.

Harry beamed ahead another year.


1987.

Harry checked the news scans.

Burger-Boy dropped off Glob, he got mutated into a humanoid muscle bound monster with claws, and various other new super beings, cyborgs, and robots emerged.

Harry beamed ahead another year.


1988.

Harry checked the news scans.

Glob formed a team with Superstar called "The Superior Seven", with some of the other mutants, cyborgs, and robots.

Harry beamed ahead another year.


1989.

Harry checked the news scans.

The Superior Seven left on The Burger-Boy, and the Harry of this universe had his "Harry Hembock: Hurt Hero", origin.

Our-Harry beamed into him, and they fused.
1989-Harry gained his memories, and 2019-Harry gained his old self's origin memories and healing factor.

The fused Harry beamed home, and ahead another year.


1990.

Harry used the volcano base one last time to replicate Hembug's body.

He then de-replicated not just the volcano base, but the whole damned volcano.

He then had Omneron duplicate himself, and send the duplicate into Hembug's body to become Hembug with false memories.

He then replicated Spruce's costume, beamed a memory patch with a false origin to the man who would become Spruce, beamed the costume onto him, and beamed him to the house.

He then had Omneron rewrite his own memories with a false origin.

Then, he put a memory patch onto himself to remember only his regular 1989 origin, and subsequent adventures, and the false origins of Hembug, Spruce, and Omneron.


1990-1993.

The adventures that make up "Harry Hembock Classics", and "The Continued Adventures Of Harry Hembock", happened all over again.


1994-1996.

The adventures that make up "Harry Hembock Regurgitations", and "Harry's Finale", occurred all over again.
Ditto "Harry Hembock And The Zone Dweebies".
That one was in 1995.


1997.

A hypnotic trigger finally made Harry's 2019 memories resurface.

He blanked Spruce's memories, and sent him back home.

He ordered Hembug to go out in space, and meet up with the Burger Boy.
As with Glob, he'd need him later.

He then hooked a memory patch to the TV, had Omneron use it to hack all the TVs on Earth, and send a hypnotic signal that erased everyone's memories of everything meta-human or supernatural, and put a memory/sensory block on any evidence anyone ever found about meta-humans and monsters.

This blanked the world of the superhuman to pave the way for Jade-Shade.

He then beamed ahead 8 years.


2005.

Harry caught up on the news, and happily saw there were no meta-humans.
Oh, there were street vigilantes, and mad scientists, but nothing like the old days.

He blanked his memory again, and beamed to the universe of "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock".

The events of "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", occurred all over again.


2008-2012.

The events of "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock: Dark Designs", occurred all over again.


2013.

A hypnotic trigger re-activated Harry's 2019 memories yet again, and he beamed back home to what would soon become the JS-verse.

He blanked his memories yet again. This time, giving himself the false memories of being an actor playing himself.
This would sort itself out, and he'd become himself anyway.
(Long story, go read it)


2013-2016.

The events of "Jade-Shade/Quantum Dissolve", happened all over again.


2017.

A hypnotic trigger re-activated Harry's 2019 memories yet again, and he beamed back home again.

He beamed ahead 2 years.


2019.

Full circle.
Harry was back to where he started.
But not in his home dimension.
Yet.

Harry opened the console of his teleport in this dimension, and found the diamond that acted as both its focusing element, and hard-drive.

He remote-accessed the teleport in his home dimension, and beamed back to it.
But seconds before his past self left.


2019-again.

Seconds-in-the-past-Harry saw various others of his dimensional counterparts getting beamed up, and merged into one.
Then, that one bouncing all around the timeline of the Jade-Shade universe, until he cobbled together a semblance of a happy ending for those characters.

This Harry thought he could do better.

Through-the-loop-Harry materialized, and said "you can, and here's the data to do it with!".

Through-the-loop-Harry opened the teleport console, and installed the diamond hard-drive next to the one already in there.

He pushed some buttons on his remote, and the data of everything he had done began to process.

Through-the-loop-Harry popped out a memory patch from the remote, and uploaded a copy of his memories into seconds-in-the-past-Harry.

Seconds-in-the-past-Harry nodded, and said "ah, it's so easy. I should have done that to begin with".

"But you needed the whole scope of the timeline to find the needle in the haystack", said through-the-loop-Harry.

Seconds-in-the-past-Harry tuned into the JS dimension, and set the time coordinates back to 1975.
Again.


1975.

Harry materialized in a foggy swirl of colors and shapes.
No sense of up or down, left or right, time or location.

He was in a haze of baby memories.

Before the Harryverse was formed.

He pulled out the sample cup again, and took a scoop of baby-void gloop.

He popped out a memory tag, uploaded a copy of Omneron's core program into it, and plopped it into the gloop.

The gloop dissolved the chip, and turned all blue and sparkly.

He tossed the cup into the void.
The void ate the Omneron-gloop, and the blue sparkly energy spread until the whole void was blue.
In giant scale, Harry could see the sparkles were swarms of binary code.

Omneron's face formed from the code.

There was a flash, and then....


2019.
Omneron rewrite.

Utopia.
No crime, no poverty, no greed, no pollution, no war, no hunger, no disease, and no warring meta-humans or street vigilantes.

Harry's house was a floating mansion, and he stood on the balcony.

Harry went inside, went online, and read up on history.

Omneron fixed everything all right.
At the expense of freedom.
Or individuality.
Or fun.

"Shit!", Harry whispered.


1986.
A reality exactly the same, except Harry had Lucky Charms instead of corn flakes or Cheerios.

Harry materialized on the bridge of the Burger Boy.

"Where's Glob?", Harry said.

Glob stepped forward "they call me Lieutenant Parks now, and...".

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, it's time for that special job I needed you for", Harry said as he tapped buttons on his teleport remote.

He beamed Glob, and split him into two exact duplicates.

He then beamed away with one of the duplicates.


1975.

Harry and Glob materialized in a foggy swirl of colors and shapes.
No sense of up or down, left or right, time or location.

He was in a haze of baby memories.

Before the Harryverse was formed.

Again.
But this time, a minute before Harry's other self would get there.

Harry gave Glob a shove, and he fell into the void, and got absorbed.
The void turned green.

Harry beamed away.

A minute later, his other self appeared, and added Omneron to the void.
This time, the Omneron and Glob consciousnesses cancelled each other out, and the void turned back to normal.

All was as it was supposed to be again.
Chaos, randomness, messiness, and all.

Original-2019-Harry went through the loop again, and history was restored.


1986.
The reality that would become the JS-verse.

Harry that stole the Glob clone appeared on the bridge of the Burger Boy again.
No one remembered, because it was an adjacent dimension.

He tapped some buttons, and Omneron took over the ship, and flung it into time warp.


1985.

The Burger Boy beamed up all the heroes that died moments before their deaths, and beamed dead-flesh clones in their place.

Ditto the Roboton Defenders.

All the classic heroes lived.
But history maintained its shape.

Burger Boy time warped again.


1987.

Burger Boy beamed down a Glob clone to go found The Superior Seven.

Burger Boy time warped again.


1989.

The Burger Boy beamed up The Superior Seven, and merged the two Globs.

Burger Boy time warped again.


1997.

Burger Boy beamed up Hembug.

Burger Boy time warped again.


2016.

Burger Boy beamed down Hembug, Glob, Jellybean-Man, Scribble-Mass, Tuperbird, Superstar, Pucky, and Supersmile to the big Jade-Shade victory party.

Harry from 2016 was already there.
Ditto Spruce.

Burger Boy docked at Planet Eidolon.

2019-Harry beamed back home with his own teleport.


2019-again-again.

Seconds-in-the-past-Harry tuned into the JS dimension, and set the time coordinates back to 1975.

Through-the-loop-Harry vanished from the history change.

Through-the-loop-again-Harry materialized in his place.

"Well, I was wrong, I couldn't do better than the 2016 Jade-Shade ending", he mumbled.

He opened the teleport console, plucked out the diamond hard-drive from the JS-verse, and beamed it back to the JS-verse.

He then beamed himself back to the JS-verse in 2017.


2017.
JS-verse.

2019-Harry beamed into and fused with 2017 Harry.

This time, he stayed there, and lived out his days.


2019.

Harry retired.
30 years was a good run, he figured.

And it was.


THE END.


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The lost summer movie recap: 2012

It occurred to me, my theater movie reviews actually started in 2012, but I never formalized it with a list.

So, here's that...


2012

1. Avengers

Said it all in the review.

2. The Dark Knight Rises

I still don't understand the dismissive contempt in some circles for this movie.
I think it's fucking great.
Did people really think "Dark Knight", could be topped?
I dunno, people are fucking weird.
Well, I love ya, DKR.
*Smooch*

3. Prometheus

Hey, at least it was trying something.
Frankly, in hindsight, I don't think the franchise needed to be messed with, but I get it, it's "valuable IP", so they're realistically never gonna leave it alone, so at least you get Ridley back.

I wasn't as crushingly disappointed with this as a lot of people.
I had fun with it.
Covenant, not as much.


Yeah, it's just three.
I didn't get out as much, plus, the superhero machine hadn't ramped up into high gear yet.

But, at least it's collected now.


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Corrections/updates Part 16.

• Parts 1-9.
• Part 10 (Greed zombies)
• Part 11 (Old logo)
• Part 12 (Cryptos)
• Part 13 (Claire Danes)
• Part 14 (The un-goodbye)
• Part 15 (Troma)

In "9/11 the eleventh", I gave President Obama his report card for his first term.
Here's my much belated report card for his second.

COME BAAAAACK!!!!!! *sob, blubber, sniffle*
We didn't know!! We didn't knooooooww!!!

That is all.


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Corrections/updates Part 15.

• Parts 1-9.
• Part 10 (Greed zombies)
• Part 11 (Old logo)
• Part 12 (Cryptos)
• Part 13 (Claire Danes)
• Part 14 (The un-goodbye)

In "Toxie review (Part 2)", I was a naive little babe in the woods yet again.

Quoted bit below, relevant bit in red, but whole quote for context...

Disc 2, the main attraction is "Apocalypse Soon", the making of, from pre-production to post-production, to premieres, and this by itself might be right up there with my favorite documentaries.

Up there with "Crumb", possibly better, up there with "Never Sleep Again", blows away pseudo-doc shit like "Brutal Massacre", and "For Your Consideration", and absolutely cremates "The Idiots", "Kids", and "Gummo".

Did I mention this DVD was the antidote to a lot of bad juju?

And it's all real (the doc).
Nothing staged, it's just TROMA sets are chaotic, and everyone involved is nuts.

Haha!!
Nope!
They staged shit like a motherfucker!

In the commentary for "Toxic Avenger Part 2", Lloyd Kaufman tells the story of how the guy playing Toxie for the beginning of the movie was an asshole who wasn't working out, so he replaced him with his double, and he ended up being better.

They re-enact that in the Toxie 4 documentary.
FAKE!!

In the commentary for "Squeeze Play", he tells a story of an actress who got naked in rehearsals, then refused to do it on camera, and fucked up the whole movie.

They re-enact that in the Toxie 4 documentary.
FAKE!!

But, I think you're MEANT to find out if you're a deep enough fan.
So, it's an on-purpose mock-umentary.

You got me, Troma, you got me.
Put me in a Tootsie Pop wrapper, cuz I was a sucker.

Yeah, it's a detail only I care about, in a film only I care about, but it's my blog, and it was bugging me.


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Corrections/updates Part 14.

• Parts 1-9.
• Part 10 (Greed zombies)
• Part 11 (Old logo)
• Part 12 (Cryptos)
• Part 13 (Claire Danes)

In "Epilogue", I convinced myself I was done with this blog, and had snootier pursuits to...pursue.
Bullshit.

This blog is whatever I make of it, and whatever I made of it is whatever I felt like talking about.
If I wanted to give up the things I like and find interesting to "evolve", into someone else to please someone else, I would have done it a long fucking time ago.

Carlin had it right in his sitcom "look at the society you're trying to please! It sucks!".

The worst offender is "First-world problems", so let's tear into that one.

One of the examples I gave right off the bat was the whole Twinkies thing.
That's not a little thing at all.
People permanently lost their jobs, and labor unions lost a little more power, and helped us creep ever more into fucking oligarchy.

These little things are often the symptoms of bigger fucking problems.
I'll never let my fucking guard down again.
And I'll never let some asshole or bitch talk me into letting my guard down.

Biggest example?
"The Apprentice", was a stupid little reality show, but it helped elect our shitty president, and now Mexican kids are dying.

That first world problem created a third world problem.
Maybe we should have paid the fuck attention, huh?

Oh, this line is priceless.

And, even the 20's one, I'm sure maybe reads to some like "oh, waah, someone employed me!".
Yeah, I get that.

It reads like that to crypto-fascists.
Fuck them.
People that kill kids with their ballot have nothing to say to me about anything moral, much less work ethics.

And my 20-something rant, that one was all based on Wal-Mart experiences.
And Wal-Mart uses slave labor in other countries to lower the prices of their lousy skeevy shit.
That's another 3rd world problem.
They're covered in blood.
And I'm supposed to kiss their ring?
No.
Fuck you.

I can't believe I let assholes shove that libertarian horseshit into my head.
And it came from a pseudo-liberal ex-friend.
How embarrassing.
I take every scrap of it back.

This whole thing was me bracing myself to be grateful to pump gas and flip burgers so right-wing cunt-mouths wouldn't call me names anymore.
Fuck 'em.
Up the ass with a pitchfork dipped in sriracha.

The teen one "oh, waahh! High school sucks!", yes, that's not a new observation.

Considering you can have your brains blown out any moment these days, it's no small thing.
All of that brought to us by the NRA.
Who it strongly seems sold us out to Russia.

Louis CK just became dead to me forever by mocking school shooting survivors, so....I regret the fuck out of this shit.

I didn't mock shooting victim kids, but high school being broken is the result of a 40 year (or more) campaign by Repugs to ruin public school to privatize it, to leave poor (especially black) kids in the dumpster.
That shit always needs pointing out.
I apologize for apologizing about pissing on high school.
Everything wrong with it is literally Nazi.
Every liberal teacher struggling in that system is a fucking medal worthy hero.
Well...not the apathetic assholes.
But, the good ones, yeah.

Oh, I don't take it back, understand.
A lot of what I've observed really is bullshit.
But, giving it the finger doesn't help.
Nothing short of global genocide really helps.

No, these evil fucks don't want you to know, and they fear losing your vote, and they fear a drop in their stock price.
They're not invincible.
The fight is worth it.
Even if you're just someone shaking their fist on Facebook, it matters.
The Russians wouldn't have hacked everything they could get their filthy virtual mitts on if it didn't matter.

Just gotta disconnect myself from it, I have no stake in it, focus on things that matter to me.
What little is left....

It's like getting flustered over "Honey Boo-Boo", just don't watch the stupid mess, y'know?

Again, "the Apprentice".

I (obviously) think patriarchy exists, but I think it's on it's way out, except maybe in middle-eastern countries.
In the west, its worst crimes are in the past, it's just some lingering traces of "Mad Men", kinds of shit, and those people/institutions are dying off.
They're doomed, and they'll crumble on their own.

The people that told me that were the very crypto-fascists that burst out of the woodwork in 2016.
#metoo shows there was indeed a deep well of rapey-ness.
And I had a lot of sneakily disguised scum to clear out of my Youtube subscriptions.

It's not this mustache-twirling conspiracy that the rad-fems literally lose sleep over.

Yep, turns out, it was.

And...if it were...so what?
Fight it!

They finally are.
The revolution came.

When I think of feminism, I think...of well, Wonder Woman.
Ain't no Wonder Woman on their team.

Wonder Woman's movie finally came.

Ditto burning out on Wordforge, and spewing bile about the place.

Total first-world problem.
Apologies, readers.
Especially 'Forgers.

Never apologize to those fuckers ever again.
Ever.

I still want to be a Batman against bullshit though.
I just have to focus my vision better.

And I will, on the next big project, after the holidays.

The project was Jade-Shade.

I think my "brilliant plan", was to make that a million times better than it was, 5 times longer than it was, magically get it published, magically get rich, move out on my own into a mansion, poon-stab a gaggle of bimbos to prove to people I hate what a "man", I am, become this erudite snob that wears suits, and goes to operas, and finally impress that aforementioned pseudo-liberal ex-friend.

Failing that, again, I was bracing myself to be grateful to pump gas, or gratefully and gleefully manage a convenience store.

....until someday, I hung myself in the supply room in my 50's.

Not a great plan, 2012 me.
Not so great at all.

Jade-Shade had exactly one fan (waves to Paladin), and that ex-friend mentioned further above threw me in the dumpster, and all the way back to square one with my depression, and didn't give a fiddler's fuck about the harm they did.
Well, I turned them into a villain in JS, and they don't know it so...*evil wink*

Thankfully, I was strong enough to bounce back on my own.
I'm proud of that.
More proud of that than a billion Jade-Shades.

And, I'm not blogging my fucking stories anymore.
Not the ones I want traditionally published, anyway.
They come out better when I don't feel people looking over my shoulder.

Trying to please people I was never going to please broke Jade-Shade.
There's still chunks of it I'm proud of, but it could have and should have been so much better.

Lesson learned.
And that lesson was REAL growth.
Not this phony "act like a robot for your corporate masters", shit our dumbshit society calls "maturity".

Oh, yeah, and "posts I was going to do", eh, I'm still not gonna do those.

So, there's that corrected.
That one was bugging me most of all.
I feel better now that that one's done.
Loads better.


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