Corrections/updates Part 10.

Parts 1-9.


Here's another batch of multiple ones, but I don't think they're gonna be quickies.
It's more they share a theme.

Where to start?
I guess I'll start by telling this story.

In elementary school, I had a nightmare of a time with math.
All of it.
But the hardest time I seemed to have was pole-vaulting over addition and subtraction into multiplication.
I just couldn't do it in my head without breaking it down into how many pluses it was made out of.
I knew what the problem was made up of, but I couldn't make my brain jump over any steps.
I had to see it all working to know for sure the answer was right.

I kept doing it out on scratch paper, so the teacher took my scratch paper away, so I startled doodling it under the desk, and I got caught doing that, and then the teacher had an absolute screaming bitch meltdown saying "YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!!! YOU'RE JUST GOOFING AROUND!!! YOU'RE JUST BEING LAZY!!!!".

And then I started bawling, and she saw my crying as faking, and screamed even more, which made me cry even more, and it all just spiraled into this fucking nightmare of psychological sadomasochism.

And I knew right then and there, there was something deeply wrong with this adult, and something even more deeply wrong with the system that she didn't get punished for that shit.
And there was something deeply and horribly wrong with all of the adults for perpetuating this system that let this harpy be horrible.
And anyone I told either didn't believe me, or took her side.
So, then I thought either something is broken in the whole universe, or I was going crazy, or both.

I eventually did get the hang of multiplying, but it was fucking torture, and every step of the way, no one believed I couldn't already fucking do it all along.
So no one REALLY helped me with it at fucking all.
I had to drag myself along by my fingernails like "The Revenant".

Then division was hard, but not as hard as multiplying.
Even then, I never got it on instinct, I had to burn every times table into my head permanently until it was all at my fingertips in order to rewind it backwards.
My brain doesn't have a calculator chip, I have to synthesize it out of other parts of my brain.

I can do it now instinctively, but it had to be jury-rigged in there.
And I'd still rather trust a calculator.

If my learning disability had been properly diagnosed, I could have gotten the proper help.
But instead, I got "YOU"RE JUST LAZY!! BLEEAAHH!!!".

Yay, 80's.
*Eyeroll*


Anyway, I tell that story to tell this story.

I've read multiple articles now on why Americans, especially conservatives, but it bleeds over into some liberals too, hate the poor.

Like, with a white knuckled teeth grating passion, they hate the poor.
Like, poverty isn't suffering enough, they always want them to suffer even more, and more, and more, and MORE.

You see it in these petty laws to have them drug tested, and bused away from their family to work some make-work shit job, and measuring every ounce of food they get on food stamps, and what food they're allowed to eat, and "omigawd, do they have a big screen TV and a video game console? How DARE they?".

All that bullshit.
I always wondered "what the fuck is UP with that?".

It comes down to, they believe the American fairy tale with a clinging death grip.
That fairy tale being, you can get rich with hard work.

No, you can't.
Maybe if you're Steve Jobs, but even he got a hand up with government contracts and shit.

If you rigidly, and doggedly, and feverishly believe your ship is going to come in if you keep punching that fucking clock at your shit-turd of a job, then naturally, you're going to imagine people like Trump deserve their success.

Even though it's objectively provable he got it all from his daddy, and his daddy got it from crime.

Nope, they have to believe they can be Trump, or they'll blow their fucking brains out.

SOOOO, the opposite side of believing you can become rich with hard work, and/or cleverness, is thinking poor people deserve to be poor.
And the poorer they are, the worse people they must be.
Until you get to welfare recipients, who are treated like the scum of the Earth.
And the homeless, who redneck Republican teenagers try to murder for sport.

That's how you explain Trump voters, and that's how you explain screaming "YOU'RE JUST BEING LAZY!!!", to a kid with a learning disability in math class.

If that bitch had said that shit to a kid in a wheelchair, and said he/she was faking, and knocked them over onto the floor, and started kicking them, everyone would recoil in horror, and pitch in to help.

But emotional/psychological/cognitive disabilities, you can't see that, so they can get away with being a monster.
..in the 80's.
I hope its gotten better for kids.
Probably not so you'd really notice.

But that's the mentality we're dealing with.
And that "something wrong", in "there's something wrong with this adult/system", was indeed a thing.
I was fucking right.

And that's what the "something wrong", was.
The American fairy tale.
The okey-doke.

There's a great quote by John Steinbeck I love.

"Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires".

That's it right there.
Temporarily embarrassed millionaires.

If you're surrounded by these deluded meat-robots who see themselves as a perpetual heartbeat away from rich, you'd best be a perfect golden child, or they'll come after you like a white cell after a germ.

We're talking some "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers", shit.

And if you didn't go from golden child to growing up wanting to have your own business....God help you.
Best forge an armored suit and learn a martial art.


All right, so I tell that long two-parter to finally get to these updates...

In "What I don't do- The Collection", I tried to dissect WTF it is I wasn't doing according to this dickhead ex co-worker I knew once.

I realize now, whatever he thought it was, it was as delusional as "YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!!! YOU'RE JUST GOOFING AROUND!!!".
Whatever he thought I wasn't doing, he thought I was doing it on purpose, so to his way of thinking, I should have just known.
Well, it wasn't on purpose in math class in elementary school, and it wasn't on purpose there.

So, it doesn't MATTER what he thought it was.
Communicate, or fuck off.

"Oh, YOOOUUU know what you're doing", is for teenage girls.
Fuck off with that shit.
Enough with that, I'm done.
I finally let it all go.


In "The "Talk I wish...", series", I mentally projected going back in time, and helping my younger self with bullshit I couldn't process back then.

Now, in my 40's, I wish I could just tell myself the whole thing about "temporarily embarrassed millionaires".
That would have taken care of all of it.

Especially the 20's one.
All that middle-management thinking and behavior comes from the "embarrassed millionaires", mentality.
That whole fucking ride in that time of my life was that shit made manifest.


In "There's Nothing To Know- The Collection", I tried to break down in mind-numbing detail all the idiotic and disgusting fucking head games this shitty culture tries to either beat you into line with, or fucking destroy your soul with.

All that shit's, again, Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaires jockeying to be Trump, or Trump's crony.
That's "winning", for these fucking people.
It's the mental power games of the soul-dead.

Ditto "More "There's Nothing To Know", The Collection".
Especially "The Vanity Parade".

Just remember, they voted Trump, and in doing so, they voted for anti-LGBT legislation, baby cages, and treason against what this country supposedly stands for with Russia.

There's nothing they have to say to you that isn't dipped in creamy thick lies.
They're finished.
They had their say, they had their way, and they had it for 40 goddamned years, and they've blown it completely.

And they all have to believe otherwise, or, going back to the beginning, they'll all blow their fucking brains out.
Oh, how I dearly wish they would, but human survival mechanisms sadly don't work that way.
Nature is fucking diabolical.

And in the end, that's what's really "deeply wrong", with these people.
Evolution isn't a scalpel, it's a shotgun.

These terrible results speak to it.

And knowing all of the above, I no longer look at that teacher with powerless hatred, but with enlightened pity.
What a sad broken creature that was.
And such broken creatures are the inevitable result of a broken system.
And a broken system is what you get from fevered egos.
It's all an endless loop.

Maybe we'll all hop out of it someday.
Here's hoping.