Sunday, January 17, 2016

Movies I was waiting for- The Sequel!

The prequel-
Movies I was waiting for in retrospective.

I was rereading that one, and I couldn't help noting that all the ones that didn't happen, have happened since, or are happening soon.

So, let's go back through that list.
For those that didn't click the link, these are films the internet of the late 90's promised me, and delivered on way late.

Star Wars

The Force Awakens finally gave me the Star Wars I was aching for back in the 90's.
Only 16 years late.

It's all good, I'm getting one a year until I die now.

Freddy vs Jason.

Came out 10 years late, and now it's old enough that it's already time for a remake.
Instead, we're getting re-remakes of Freddy and Jason separately.
Ah, well.
Lucky I got this one.

Alien vs. Predator

As I said last time, meh.
If they used the original Peter Biggs script, and put Prometheus level money into it, the concept could really be something.
Ain't gonna happen.
We're stuck with these.

Superman 5

"Superman Returns", was 5, "Man Of Steel", was 6, even though it's a reboot.

And from last time...

Batman vs. Superman, never happened.
Justice League, never happened.
They were never gonna happen.
Why did they fuck around with 'em?

Well, they're happening now.
And "Man Of Steel", was the retroactive prequel.

Oh, and the Tim Burton/Kevin Smith/Nick Cage one from the 90's that was supposed to be 5?
The debris field from that has been recycled into a documentary.

Also, the polar bears and caveman skull from that actually made cameos in "Man Of Steel", that I never noticed until recently.

And the mechanical spider ended up in "Superman: Doomsday", with animated Kevin Smith snarking at it.

Evil Dead 4

Finally happened as a TV series.
Season 2 is already lined up for next year.

20 years late is better than never.

Batman 5

So, in the 90's, Batman 5 was supposed to have Scarecrow and Harley Quinn, and Joker was going to come back as a fear gas hallucination.

"Batman Begins", had Scarecrow, "The Dark Knight", had Joker, all three Nolans had the human identity of Scarecrow, and "Suicide Squad", is finally gonna have Harley and Joker.
And the prequels to that are "Man Of Steel", and "Batman v Superman".

And the lost story for "Batman Triumphant", is going to be a comic book.

So, it all came together in the end.
20 years late.

Tron 2

It happened.
But we ain't getting a part 3.


It happened, I've got the ultimate cut in my file cabinet, I'm good to go.

Now, Zach Snyder is directing "Batman vs Superman", and the two Justice League films.

Ghostbusters 3

The final outing of the reunited cast ended up being in the video game.

As far as the film went, Bill Murray resisted, then Harold Ramis died, and that really killed it.

Now, we're getting a female casted reboot.
Which I'm actually excited about, because the director has a proven record of bringing the funny, the cast has a proven record of being funny, and everyone minus Ramis and Moranis are going to be in it in cameos, so it's a reunion anyway.

Also, the director is as much a Ghostbusters geek as I am.
It's in good hands.
It could still suck, but everything I've seen so far gives me hope.

Twilight Of The Dead

Nope, it wasn't Twilight, instead we got Land, Diary, Survival, and the final one will be Empire, and be a cable miniseries.

Predator 3

It happened.
I've cooled to it since that original review.
I keep hearing about 4 coming, but I'll believe it when I see it.
I'm not exactly chomping at the bit.

Godzilla remake

Just garbage.

So, 15 years later, they re-remade it.
*Wavey hand* ehh.
It made money, so this version is going to fight Rodan and Ghidorah, and then King-Kong.
That I'm excited to see.

A sequel to King-Kong vs Godzilla is only umm...60 years late!!!

Toxic Avenger 4

Happened 14 years ago.

A Youtube trailer a couple years ago said part 5 was going to happen when Toxie's children became 14 years old.
Well, *checks watch* come on, Lloyd, it's time!

All righty then.
That's the time capsule for 2016, following after the first in 2010.
I'll update this in another 6 years.


Diacanu said...

Oh, and I forgot Star Trek.

Part 3 of the reboots, and part 13 overall is coming this summer.

And the series is finally coming back to TV in some as yet unknown form.

Also, Sin City 2 finally came out, and was a critical disappointment, so that franchise looks dead.

Bee Deeh said...

Kind of a shame "TRON: Legacy" didn't do better. Ironcally it had both the same strength as the original (great visuals that look like actual thought was put into them) and weakness (shoddy plotwise) as the original (albeit in a different way--"TRON" was crappily plotted, whereas "TRON: Legacy" was messily plotted.)

The funniest one to me is the Wachowski's "Speed Racer." Was in the planning stages for a zillion years and died in development hell God knows how many times only to come out and be an immediate total flop-o-rama. Not that I saw it. (Is it actually good or something? I'm no big fan of the Wachowskis who seem to be the most consistent failures amongst ambitious filmmakers.)

B. D. said...

Oh and enjoy....PLANET NINE

Diacanu said...

David Letterman gave the best review of "Speed Racer", I ever heard.
"Throw some fireworks into a dryer, and it's the same exact thing. Save your money".

Tron Legacy made enough money to justify a sequel, but they developed it so long, and no one could make a good enough script, and it was hibernating so long, it wa sout of the public consciousness, and the iron was cold, so they just gave up.

As for planet nine...I hope so, that'd be cool.

B. D. said...


I'm sure you've seen this by now....uh, didn't you once pitch a commercial on the J-World board that was pretty much the same thing? I was going to add this to the list of stuff on the Internet that your old writings and shit anticipated, but I can't remember if this was you or somebody else who had an idea for a commercial based around a cute animal shitting out ice cream:

(I may have conflated your old "Teddy Ruxpin shits himself" bit with something somebody else did on another board. Clarification?)

(Also, why buy this thing? Can't you just get a footstool or something?)

Diacanu said...

I dunno, I posted so much weird shit for so long, I might have had a unicorn shit ice ream.
Doesn't seem like me though.
Yeah, probably Teddy Ruxpin.

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