Monday, December 19, 2011

Superhero Flicks, Part 20: Cartoons As Live-Action

There, think I got all the stragglers, I'll probably find more someday, but, I combed the net as well as I could....

Now, picking up where we left off here...

From inspired by comic books, to cartoons.

Left a lotta shit on the cutting room floor with this one, sorry folks, but even though they have "adventures", Alvin And The Chipmunks aren't superheroes.
Or else, I gotta let in the Muppets, then Benji, then it gets out of fucking control.

And though Fat Albert may be a good friend, and a wise sage, due to health conditions, I don't see him so much as chasing down a mugger.

So, even narrowing this one down with the iron fist, we still got 12 here...

Aeon Flux

The film-

From here...

This was MTV's last brush with artistic magnificence.
Well, this, and "The Maxx".
All downhill from here.
This show was pure art.
It was strange, surreal, dreamlike, and indeed, it turns out Peter Chung got a lot of ideas from his dreams.
It's impossible to describe, you just have to watch it.
The '05 live action movie didn't live up to this at all.
It was okay, as its own thing, could've stripped the Aeon flux name off it, and hardly notice a difference.
Well, at least you get to see Charleze Theron prance around in spandex and leather.
I think Michelle Forbes was a better live-action dead-ringer for the animated Aeon though.
Every geek thought so.
But, y'know, Hollywood...
Well, it's freakish the movie even got made.
I mean, a cult animation property from a decade prior?
All right...
Anyway, great show.
Beautifully weird.

The history-

Dying to see what Hyla thought of this flick, he was the big Flux nut back in the day...


The film-

Ooops, yeah, this was a comic first, I shoulda tossed it in here,, I ain't perfect.

Anyway, actually glad it ended up here, cuz it compares an awful lot to Aeon Flux in style and production design.

It's sort of a mashup of Aeon, and Blade.

Starring wife of "look at my hottie wife kill zombies; jealous much, world?", Paul Anderson, Milla Jovovich.

Not directed by him though.
Directed by the guy whot did "Equilibrium".
I'm not including that in any of these, cuz I just don't wanna.

Anyway, this one isn't as silly as that...but, not by much.

If you turn off your brain, I mean, right the fuck off, and watch the pretty colors, and Milla killing, you'll have a decent time.
Especially if it's in hi-def.

The history-


The Last Airbender

The film-

Heard it sucked.
Fans of the show were up in arms.

Haters of Shyamalan rejoiced that this might finally be his Waterloo.
Sorry, keeds, if "Lady In The Water", didn't kill him, he's invincible.

The history-

Hyla says I need to watch the show.

I'll get to it....I'll get to it....
Takes awhile, but I get to everything...

Ben 10: Race Against Time

The film-

Directed by Bill from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Eh, all right for what it is.
Spy Kids sorta thingie on a cheaper budget.

*Shrug* kids would dig it.

The history-

Miss Bill & Ted.

Miss Rufus.


Ben 10: Alien Swarm

The film-

Alex Winter did this one too.

Couldn't tell ya if it was any good, but you know what you should see?

The history-


George Of The Jungle (and 2)

The film-

And Siskel & Ebert thumbs-upped this?
Fuck off.
Bribed sellouts.

Man, when you wanna make a shitty movie...Brendon Fraser is always there for ya...except, apparently for part 2 of this thing....
Wow, that must be sadistically awful for him to have turned that one down....
He fucking did Monkeybone fer chrissakes...

The history-


Inspector Gadget (and 2)

The film-

Oh, Matthew Broderick, we were getting along so well, and then you throw this at me.
What could I possibly have done to deserve this treatment?

So...we actually see Gadget's origin...and things make less sense now that we know he was a wacky version of Robocop.

Like, if they stuffed his entire carcass full of gadgets...WTF keeps him alive??
I can't even figure out where his brain goes.
Is it in a jar hooked to a mainframe, and it runs his body via wi-fi?
How much of him is left?
If anything?
Eh, I guess such metaphysical concerns are to be swept under the rug with the whole "it's for kids", deal, but...
No, this cartoon was a chunk of MY childood, I got a right to be nosy.
Where does the brain go?
It ain't in the head, it's full of helicopter.
Ain't in his chest, that's shown to be full of junk...
Is there some TARDIS field in there?
That's some fucking gadget!

Ugh...fuck it...

Anyway, part 2 is "Gadget gets a fuck-buddy", so, the poor bastard finally gets to use "go-go gadget balls".

The history-

My bloodied sobbing childhood.

Space Jam

The film-

Those aren't Looney Tunes.

Looney Tunes died with Mel Blanc and Chuck Jones.
Get outta my face with this shit.

And stop giving sports assholes movies, they're not actors.
Dumb kindergarten country.

The history-

See Inspector Gadget.

Looney Tunes: Back In Action

The film-

Brendon Fraser, I'm out.
*Walks off*

The history-



The film-

I like it.
Moreso as a kid, for damned sure, but still...
It's true as hell to its source material, the cast is dead-on.
Especially the leads.
What more can you ask for?

Another one that needs a cult.

The history-

Always liked me some Popeye as a kid.
Especially those original old cartoons.
Every decade from the 70's up seemed to do a remake version, and...they all blew.

The 30's cartoons and this, they're the only things that got it right.

Speed Racer

The film-

David Letterman nailed this one.
Save yourself the money, and the commute, and the time, and just throw a bunch of lit firecrackers in a washer-dryer, and watch them spin around, and it's the same thing.

The history-

MTV used to play the cartoon.
Frankly, it wasn't much better.


The film-

Haven't seen it.
Can't work up the will...
Or, a logical reason to consider doing so...

The history-

N/A wasn't a Thunderbirds fan anyway.

Transformers The Movie 
(and the Bay-Formers remakes)

The film-

See here.

The history-


Aaand done, up next, films based on comic strips.

(BTW, this comes after this)

No comments:

Blog Archive