Sunday, December 18, 2011

Superhero Flicks, Part 15.5 All The Rest (Part 4.5, Dead Dudes)


So, after doing the fellas who bust ghosts, we tackle heroes who are ghosts.

Or zombies, or revenants, or what have you.


The Wraith


The film-

Oh, wow, where the fuck was THIS movie all my life?!?!
Can't believe I missed this in the 80's.
Thankfully, that's been rectified now.

Well, you got Charlie Sheen, you got Billy Idol and Ozzy in the soundtrack, you got outrageous hairdos, you got a sci-fi-y Knightrider type custom car that whispers along like a snake, and you've got asshole villains who die like pigs.

What more could you ask for?

Titties?
Bam, its got 'em. Perfect movie.
Go see it.

This is another one that oozes 80's, but...it's on an opposing spectrum from, say, Buckaroo Banzi.
Buckaroo represented an ironic, smirking, hipster-nerd 80's.
This is an earnest, blue collar, story around the campfire 80's.
I dig that this film exists for that balance.
I like as many puzzle pieces as I can to paint the picture of my favorite decade for the young people.

Dunno why this was never pimped as a superhero movie, Wraith easily falls into the same category as Ghost Rider. Magic vehicle, revenge spirit, even has a costume.
Well, I count it, and it's my review, on my blog, so in it goes.
Badoosh.

The history-

Saw it on Wikipedia in my research, almost passed it over, Hyla nudged me back towards it.
Here.
Glad he did.

Oh, and Randy Quaid is in this.
How depressing is his meltdown these days, huh?
Can't help but have it pop up in my head when I see his mug now.

And, the Sheen meltdown goes without saying, so I won't.

I'd rather remember....everything this way.

Aaanyhoo, speaking of Ghost Rider...


Ghost Rider


See here.


Spawn


See here.


The Crow


The film-

Legendary for being the one Brandon Lee died on.

And...let's be brutally honest here, that's only legendary cuz of his dad.

So..Crow...is the only 90's goth hero that I know of.
Maybe the first, I certainly won't go out on a limb and say last, gotta be more since, but...yeah, it's the first goth hero I can ever recall.

Seen bits of it, not my cuppa cocoa, but um, it's good at what it is.
It's a..quality..one of those.
Good job, you made a good Crow movie.

I do like the angle this takes of going with Native American afterlife myth for a change.
I mean...it's silly, but..hey, now you Christians know exactly how I felt having to look at your shit in the culture all these years.
Suck it down.
Yayuh.

The history-

Um...I dug the Robot Chicken sketch where the nerd goes to Oz, and wish-changes Scarecrow into Crow, Tinman into Optimus, and Cowardly Lion into Lion-O.

Yeah, that was sweet.


The Crow: City of Angels


The film-

So...this guy is a new guy who dies, and comes back as Crow.
...s'all I know about it.

The history-

So...why, if he's an Injun ghost, do the titles still keep leaning towards Christian hookum?
What, you still gotta pat them on the widdwe head?
Chrissakes.
Pitiful.


The Crow: Stairway To Heaven


The film-

I am the Mindfreak!
Mindfreak!
I am the Mindfreak!
Mindfreak!

So...I guess at least it's Brandon Lee's character come back, anyway.
Did that make you fans of this franchise happy?
Lemme know.

The history-

Yep, 'nother cowtow to Christianity title.
Tch...


The Crow: Salvation


The film-

Really? Kirsten Dunst? Huh. Wow....

The history-

Tch, see? Christian flavored title again. WTF??

Oh, wait, is the antagonist a Conquistador who "civilizes", the dirty little pagan?
That his "salvation"?
That how that works?
Or, does that doofy Duggar cow shoot babies at him from her womb cannon?
Again, lemme know.


The Crow: Wicked Prayer


The film-

Oh, shit, really? Eddie Furlong?
Boreanaz?
Fuckin-a.

Yeah, no.

The history-

Well...least it's a wicked prayer.
Least there's that...


Faust: Love of the Damned



The film-

Yeah, okay, Faust isn't dead per se, but...once you sell your soul to The Devil for superpowers, isn't physical death just a mere formality?

Um, anyway, this looks like a total piece of shit.

The history-

Skimmed through one of the comics back in the day.

Nifty scene of this couple fucking, full on porn, and then these two zombie-ish monsters come in with machine guns, spray the guy, and blast him into chunks, including his pecker, which flies across panel, and the monsters in unison shout "SEX IS DIRTY!!!".

Wish I'd bought that.
I was chicken though.
Kinda thing if you get caught with as a kid, you get in big fuckin' trouble.
Well, showed them, I make that kinda shit now.
Hee.
B)


The Spirit


The film-

Yeah, I guess Spirit with his invincibility kinda hovers in a vague state of undeath.
Enough so, it influenced his fucking name.

Review here.

The history-

Ditto.


So, that's those.

Up next, some more leftover stragglers.

(BTW, this goes between this and this)


5 comments:

hyla2 said...

Shit, yeah! The Wrizaith!

But no one's hair, in that film, was as big or profoundly '80's as ol Clint Howard's Eraserhead tower of power. Maybe peeling off the glue needed to anchor that monster wig is how he lost the rest of it . . .

;`

(this comment post's verification code is . . . mentsch! For manly mens what wants to post they masculine comments wanna fight about it? Beer me! Play ball!)

hyla2 said...

Hrm. No mention of Clint in the review . . . Ah. I can only assume your coif calibrations were thrown askew by dude-guy's ultra '80's ultracool tuff mutha ensamble on yon movie poster/vid cover. Iz dat Cassavetes? Sheee . . . IT-uh!

WOW: Shades? Check. Trenchcoat/duster? Check. Finger/knuckle-less driving gloves? Check. Cut away belly shirt? . . . ahhh, yes. Check.

I bow to thee. Knight of the dragstrip. Hail. And farewell . . .

(dude, you gotta chip in here soon--I'm home alone on my day off and I'm hittin the wine here . . .)

Oh, AND:


(this comment post's verification code is . . . oberses! For clinically fat horses who wants to post comments! You know who you are. Fatty fat fatso fat horse. Eat a carrot you fatass.)

Diacanu said...

I debated with myself whether to mention Clint's Gumby-do...sided with it being a spoiler.

Eh, if I had it to do over, I'd throw it in.
But...it be spoiled now, eh?

Just finished the next post.

Those monster ones take me three hours.

hyla2 said...

I dunno. That fucker's unspoilable, I sez. I mean . . . You can describe it . . . and you have an image . . . but to soak in the REALITY.

That's another order of experience altogether.

Fear not, I sez!

(is the new one up yet? I go peek!)

Diacanu said...

Just ran it through a couple proofreads, I think I nailed all the glitches...

Blog Archive

Labels