Sunday, December 4, 2011

Bummies


So, it was second grade, and they were starting us on cursive.

Tssh, cursive, in this digital age, who uses that bullshit anymore, right?
Outside of your own fuckin' name.
And most fuckin' adults hen-scratch it anyway.

Worthless practice.

So, anyway, they were drilling this shit into us like we were robots, and I'm pounding away at the cursive fucking a's.

Heh, fucking-a.

And...they're not great...
Thing is, bitch teacher fucking tells me so.
Quite nastily.
Keeps saying they look like bananas.
Well, yeah, the ones at the end of the page, cuz my hand gets tired from doing a grid of 50 of the shitty fucking things, you witch.
How about "here's how to do it better"?
Nah.
None of that.
Just heckle.

Keeerist, must've done 10 sheets of those fucking a's.
It was ridiculous.

I snapped, and for the next sheet, drew a row of asses to moon the bitch with.
Little circles, with lines for the crack.
Circle, line, circle, line, circle, line.....frantically, got a whole row and a half off in 7.5 seconds.
They weren't great asses, just like they weren't great a's.
Ohhh, ho ho! Lo and behold, the fucking ball-busting cow knew what THOSE were!

Lost her fucking shit, spazzed the fuck out, whisked the paper off the desk violently, like she'd caught me with a Hustler.

Total over-reaction bullshit.
School has only gotten WORSE about this stuff.
Oh, they won't protect you from a real physical bully, but they'll foam at the mouth if you draw buttocks.
Shit, a cock?
Haul you off in cuffs, probably.

So, they call my mother in over this bullshit, act like it's a biiiiig fucking federal case, like I'd wiped human shit on a fellow student, and they show my mother the paper, and demand I tell her what those are.
"....bummies", I gloomily mumble out.

So, my mother says "you're in big trouble young man", or some bullshit that they want to hear, and it all sorta blows over.
She tells me now she laughed her ass off all the way home.
Tsh, getting dragged up to that fucking place because of bummies.
Circles and lines.

CIRCLES AND LINES!!!

Fuck, it's all so fucking ridiculous.

And it has... Only. Gotten. Worse.

You hear these stories almost every other day of a kid getting suspended for kissing a girl, or calling a teacher "cute", y'know?

Do these nervous paranoid assholes actually think this makes a GOOD world?
A BETTER world?

What the fuck is WRONG with them?
What the hell is the MATTER with these people?

But yeah, lest you ever think any of the shit you see in the news is new.
I got my taste of it over the years back then.
Constipated fucking people.
Sad neurotics, the lot.
I won't even buy into "oh, it's their JOB to be like that".
Ah, bullshit.
Their discretion, they can let small shit slide, but they don't.
They get off on it.

No, it's gone way too far, school is a disaster.
And, frankly, obsolete.

It's an industrial age model in an information age.
The boomer generation took a crack at Sesame Street-ifying that evil Prussian Army model, but...they half-assed it, and this is the result.
A schizophrenic mess.

And it ain't going away, is it?
Tragic.
How many more "bummies", kids are getting their spirits broken out there?
I'm gonna round it off to "a shitload".

The only reason I don't side with conservatives in tearing it all down, is their ideas for replacing it are more cold-blooded, and toward making a more stratified shitball society of wolves and sheep.

No one's got an answer.

But, I got this one...at the parental level, if your kid is drawing a row of asses, or vomiting Pacmen, leave 'em the fuck alone, would ya?

Ain't it bad enough they're gonna be bullied by this repulsive culture into being fucking doctors and accountants?
Ain't that enough?
No?

I dunno, seems to me when some spazz is getting their nose out of joint over circles and lines, something has gone off the rails.

Correction, went off the rails 30 goddamned years ago.


1 comment:

hyla2 said...

Bastids. >P

I had one of these experiences once. 3rd grade. It was around the same time they'd started throwing cursive at us too, but I don't think this neccessarily occurred during cursive practice . . .

Some kid on the playground, different class and/or grade, I think, had laid some heavy metal lyrics on me. Can't remember the band. But part of the refrain was, "assgrinder . . . Hell-winder . . .". I think the guy in the song was bitching about his boss, or his ex, or something.

Naturally, I innocently scrawled these down in a notebook as soon as I got back to class. Naturally, the teacher spotted it . . . or more likely, some snitch-bitch squealed . . . even more likely because I showed it off to them.

Very similar repercussions. I think I got off slightly easier once I explained that they were song lyrics that another boy told me about and that I had no idea what the words meant--I did not name names, though. I think.

Fight tha powah! FIGHT DEM ASSGRINDAZ!!

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