Saturday, March 24, 2012

Leftover Crossovers (Part 1 of 2)

So, like I said last time, these are "leftover pieces".
Stuff I had trouble cramming into "the unbroken Baconing chain".

Consider this.. a "side-sequel", to "Even More Crossovers 2", A.K.A. "the Vampirella/Image chunk".

Okay, so...forgot to mention at the time, Savage Dragon is an atheist (one of only a handful in the comic book Multiverse), but he met God, but it's open to interpretation whether it was a dream/hallucination, and Savage Dragon seems to think it was, but when "God", told him we create our own Heaven/Hell, Savage Dragon quipped that when he returned to his mortal life, he would cultivate within himself a belief in,'s Savage Dragon's "Heaven".

Razor meets Warrior Nun meets Poizon.

Razor & Warrior Nun met before, and I covered them before...
So, that leaves Poizon...

A powerful telekinetic that can make force-fields, and green energy hand-glowy-stuff.
And...she's from the future, so, some time travel stuff must be in this story.

Warrior Nun Areala and Glory.

Glory is half Amazon goddess, half demon.

All right, I gotta sit down, and resolve the theological B.S. right here....

These religions just can't co-exist with each other.
Literally, as in the actual respective Gods vying for status in a co-existing universe.
They just can't.

The God of Christianity/Catholicism, and some mutant spinoff of Roman stuff?

Either you got one God with many masks, which makes him a capricious Mxyzptlk on steroids, and unworthy of anyone's worship, or, and this is the one I'm going with, none of the "Gods", are God, but advanced extraterrestrials playing at being Gods, like Thor.

That these characters can all be Baconed back to Thor, kinda puts these disparate theologies under those rules anyway.

That's how Marvel always handled it, and as a Marvel boy, that's how I'm going to.

So, any character, like Avengelyne, claiming to serve "the one true God", is a dupe, and their "God", a liar, or deceived their own selves.
Especially when confronted with a character empowered by another God, who can hold their own against them.

Sorry ladies, you should have served Crom. 
Crom literally doesn't give a shit. 
I can respect that in a God.

Glory meets Celestine.

Celestine is another frikkin' angel.
From the Image-verse.
Specifically, from the Spawn-verse.

She's been killed, and resurrected via a machine once.

Which, lends even more credence to these "angels", being extraterrestrials. do you even kill an angel in the first place?

Anyway, mumbo-jumbo stripped away, you notice these are all leggy supermodels?
That's the category...

Avengelyne meets Glory.


Multiple times. 

Angela meets Glory.

Angela is another freakin' angel.

Aria Angela

All right, Aria is the title, and Kildare is the character.

And Kildare is...a fairy princess.

No, really, honest, I'm looking right at it.

...and then, Angela and Glory again.

Ah, screw it, I tried, but the chain broke down on me...shoulda plugged one of those extra Avegelyne/Glory issues in between...anyway...

Avengelyne meets DemonSlayer.

Who...I assume is a Demon Slayer.

*Checks* yep.

And a revived dead chick to boot.

10th Muse meets DemonSlayer.

10th Muse is the daughter of Zeus.

Well, see?
I refer back to my religion ramble in Areala/Glory.

Oh, and you may recall, 10th Muse was in the War Of The Independents.
Remember? In front of Hack/Slash?

Koni Waves meets DemonSlayer

Koni Waves just seems to be a Hawiian chick cop.

And, even though shes not on the cover, she was also in The War Of The Independents.

Avengelyne meets Koni Waves.

Avengelyne: Seraphicide.

With Avengelyne, and Onyx.

Onyx is "the world's deadliest assassin".

Well, I've heard that before.

And oh, look, Avengelyne has her nip/snoosh cross on again.

Avengelyne meets Pandora.

Pandora is...Pandora...well, blow me down.

Yep, the one from the myth, who opened the box.
She's still ticking.

There's Avengelyne in the nip/snoosh cross, and grasping her sword in such a way as if to say "male readers, make like this, and enjoy the ride".

Oh, think I'm being a perv?
Just you wait...

Pandora meets/fights Shotgun Mary.

Shotgun Mary comes from the Warrior Nun Areala 'verse, and is a warrior Nun who said "fuck it", and took off.

...and she's got shotguns.

Pandora vs. Widow.

Widow is obviously a human/spider hybrid.

And now we're creeping up on it...

The Vampress Luxura meets Widow.

Full on porn.

Luxura is the XXX Vampirella.
Flat out.

Luxura meets Widow, they "become friends", there's pussy eating, blam.
Anything that chains off of Luxura becomes suspect.

Luxura meets Baby Angel X.

More porn, note the 18 and up warning there.

Now, see, this is the stuff that was in that back room of the comic shop.
Now you know.

Classy stuff like Heavy Metal, and then this vampire bagel-munching stuff.

Pandora meets Razor.

Note the suggestive ass grabbing.

No...COULDN'T be...

Razor vs. Dark Angel.

Dark Angel is an out and out serial killer from Boneyard Press, who offer up...intense fare.
Let's just say their site/blog isn't work safe.

Razor X.

Featuring Razor, Pandora, and Widow.

Widow, who lapped Luxura.
You gotta wonder...

Heh, dig the camel toe on Razor...

Hellina vs. Pandora.

That's the cleanest cover I could find.

No, really, check out the others.
Black bars, know what's going down...

Okay, so if you run into Luxura, or Hellina, you're gonna get fucked.

That's just the rules.
Or...maybe it's Pandora's fault, I dunno.

Calls into question how far back in the crossovers these orgies go...
It's a brilliant sales tactic, that's for sure.

Hellena meets Nira X.

Nira X comes from "Zen", and is a living temporal anomaly, so can cross dimensions.

She was also in War Of The Independents.

Is there snatch-snacking in this?
I dunno, but, you wonder...

Hellina Cynder

Cynder has fire powers.
...that's it?

Hellina Catfight.

Trying to find something on Catfight...*tears apart whole internet*....meh, gotta go with my eyeballs, and say Catwoman with a sword...

Hellina Double Impact

Double Impact are two chicks with guns.

Is this one porn?
I dunno, but it's a safe bet the time they met Luxura was....

Blah! Blah! 

War Goddess

With Hellina, Pandora, and Widow.

Is this one porn?
Well...going by the covers, no, this time they go after gore, and lots of it.

Lady Death vs. Pandora.

Finally, someone we recognize again.
It's like coming up for air, ain't it?

See, I took you to Mount Doom, now we're limping back to The Shire.

Lady Death/Chastity.
Lady Death/Bad Kitty.
Lady Death/Chastity/Bad Kitty. Death/Chastity...Sept '

But look, Lady Death/Chastity/Bad Kitty at Ground Zero.

So...evidently, every hero you can think of went down there and posed....


Chastity is a vampire who kills vampires, so...white female redhead Blade.

Bad Kitty is a cop who fights the paranormal.

Lady Death vs. War Angel

War Angel is a multi-millenium years old immortal who's gone batshit.

Lady Death Bedlam.

Bedlam is a Native American who's face got burnt off, now he has magic blasts, and teleportation "from the chaos realms", whatever the fuck that is.

Magic Zombie Indian.

Lady Death & Jade.

Jade is a vampire sorceress created by Purgatori who runs the Chinese mob.

Lady Death BellaDonna.

Belladonna is a witch who can control animals.

Purgatori Lady Death

Purgatori is a witch, turned vampire, turned demon, turned demon goddess, and is essentially Lady Death's evil opposite.

Sometimes, like Superman and Luthor in a crisis, they temporarily team up.

Vampirella Purgatori.

Yeah, remember her?
We're almost back home...

So, this clearly goes with Vampirella/Lady Death.

Purgatori Chastity.

Lady Death: Dark Alliance.

Featuring Lady Death, Chastity, Purgatori, Jade, Bad Kitty, Bedlam, and some other characters I don't care about.

Lady Death Shi.

Ahhh, another recognizable face!

And another star of War Of The Independents.

Shi Tomoe.

Remember her?

Full circle to the start of these.

Shi 10th Muse.

Two starlets of TWOTI together.

Ezra 10th Muse.

I really like the stylized art there....

Ezra is a demonic monster killer with healing powers.

And, she's in TWOTI, even though she ain't on the cover.

Vampirella vs Hemorrhage.

Hemmorrhage can control blood.

Well...if one can be an elemental of a particular body fluid..that begs the question....

Is there a piss elemental?
Vaginal lubricant?

What about doo-doo?
Can doo-doo count?
Doody is recruited mass, but..when you get right down to it, so's every part of your body....

This is exactly the sort of thing Boneyard Press was made to explore, the way I look at it.

Vempirella vs. Pantha.

Female Manimal.

Vampirella Shadowhawk.

I shoulda thrown him into part 1 or 2, cuz he's actually pretty mainstream.

He's yet another legacy character, like Phantom, Witchblade, or Grendel.

The current incarnation is Iron Man crossed with Wolverine.

He's in various Image crossovers, like Mars Attacks Image, and The Invincible War, he's also in TWOTI, and he was in that Sonic Super Special with Savage Dragon, Maxx, and Spawn.

So...he gets around.

And finally....

Vampirella Wetworks.

Wetworks are soldiers forcibly merged with cybernetic symbiotic armor, so...think Wildcats meet Weapon Zero.

They also get around a bunch, and were in both Mars Attacks Image, and Dream War against the JLA.

And there, we're back to familiar territory.

But...isn't it funny how these red light district pornstar characters so easily Bacon their way back to the clean-cut mainstreamers?

I'm fascinated by that, it gives me a giggle.

And, the more characters I pile onto this heap, the easier it becomes to plug a new character into the Multiverse.
If they meet any one of these even obscure characters, wham, they're in.

So, that's all of that.

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