Sunday, October 9, 2011

Even more things I don't do.


I remembered after hitting send yesterday, there was a little more to the "it's what you DON'T do", incident.

Okay, so he says "it's what you DON'T do", he turns, and walks away, I shrug, turn and walk away, and he turns back around, and faintly mumbles "you don't...help...people".

You don't help people.

Bullshit.

I helped him stock his aisle any number of times.

I dunno what his fuckin' problem was.

If he didn't mean physical help, then we're back to the stuff in the last 2 entries (1, 2) to possibly break it down.

Was he having trouble with the redneck douchebags who ended up breaking out my window?
Were they bullying him?
Well, fuck, SAY so!
Fucking COMMUNICATE!
I'll say it again, I'm, not a fucking mind reader.

And...fuck, why would it be my job to save his ass from bullies, because I'm tall?
What, I'm a fucking karate man with super hearing & vision, and telepathy, that's supposed to just KNOW all this shit, and swoop in from on high?
I gave off that energy?
Really?
Tell the fucking managers!
Call a fucking cop!
Fuck!

I mean, I probably could have banged up the fat one pretty good, and he always seemed like the instigator of shit, so I would've enjoyed that beatdown, but if his three buddies joined into the fray, yeah, a bit hairy.

If that's what I wasn't doing...fucking-a.

Hey, you want me beat up a whole crew of guys?
Join in and help.
Back me up.
You're the one whining about "help".
Better yet, bring a fucking gun.
That'd be really fucking helpful.

Ugh...fuckin' people.

So...if it wasn't that...all that remains...is politics.
Drama.
Like, somehow, me not "going along to get along", or "suffering fools gladly", or whatever fucking secret vibe game I was supposed to be playing, was blowing back, and making things hard for him, and that was me "not helping people".

Fucking SAY so!!!!!

FUCK!!!

What the fuck is it with people not being able to encapsulate an issue, and spit it the fuck out?
You don't have to be a fucking English major.
Plug your mouth into your brain, and make the thoughts come out.
Cavemen fucking did it.

So, anyway, if it was either of those..oh well..*shrug*

Or...it could be, the bully thing, the vibe game thing, AND me not doing the whole vibe game thing made it seem I was unapproachable to help resolve the bullying/vibe game/drama thing.

Not a fucking mind reader, wasn't my job.

Oh well.

So, that beats that to death....
But, on to more stuff I don't do to be really sure.

Go the extra mile.

Ehh, that depends.

Did you spend 6 months shitting on my head?
Yeah, I'm not gonna break my back for people who shit on me.
I'm funny like that.

Are the pickup stops on that "extra mile", some of the bullshit described above?
A bunch of inscrutable soap opera shit?
If so, fuck your extra mile.

Stepping up to the plate

See "going the extra mile", and it depends.

I'll help your ass when my main duties are done.

If you think I'm slacking off, have the stones to say so to my face, or fuck off.
Whatever private little melodramatic stewing is going on in your little head can go eat a dick.

Especially if it involves the big inscrutable soap opera.


Sugar coat it

Babysitting, fuck off.


There, those are all the little items...

Now,  if all of what I've posted thus far was/is trapped on the tip of your tongue as some vague, murky, grey, melty FEELING, fuck your feelings.
Learn to fucking communicate.
Dipshit.

And if your FEELINGS carried that "go along to get along", game-playing shit in their little septic wake, fuck 'em harder.

This'll blow your tiny little mind, but your dumb little feelings aren't special, and they certainly aren't ineffable, or transcendent, and they sure as fuck don't carry "special wisdom".
Being incommunicative and inscrutible is wisdom?
Fuck off.

Too much dumb goofy shit in this culture you're supposed to FEEEEEL.
Dumb and goofy if you're LUCKY, usually it's fucking revolting and horrifying.

(Yeah, I'm talking to the guy as if he's reading this, but I'm talking to YOU the reader too, if these are your attitudes against me, or to society and life in general)

There, I think I've really beat the shit out of this now.


So that's "what you DON'T do".

And it wasn't just that moment, I've put up with this insufferable stupidity all my fucking life.

Here's a couple variations.

"You don't...you don't...nevermind".

Yeah, I got that one at the GOOD stint at Toys R Us.

That shit'll drive you up a fucking wall.

Or, there's this one.

"You don't....you just don't".

Both suck.

The first is mere drivel, the latter is trying to be clever, and isn't.
Neither are "deep".

Yeah, I actually heard this shit from people.
Can you believe this shit?
I can't, and it fucking happened.

And variations happened all while I came up through school.
These are just the ones I can most clearly remember.
The good bulk of it was vibe shit.
People just acting funny, or being a little off, treating me different, and being all secretive and mysterious about it, like "oh..we can't TELL him, not HIM, we have to HANDLE him..".

That fucking "handle", shit.
Did you ever get that?
Did you ever get handled?
Doesn't it just piss you right the fuck off?

Yeah, don't fucking TALK to me, play fucking games.
Play stupid schoolyard teenage girl games as adult so-called professionals.
Assholes.
STUPID assholes!
No wonder I'm like this.


Fuck your vibes, fuck your signals, fuck your games, fuck your teenage girl drama, I know what I "don't", and you can cram it all.
I come right out and confess it.
And I'm not sorry.
I lack nothing, there's nothing "wrong", with me.


It's funny, how I've managed to actually accumulate friends, with my "bad social skills".
It's funny, how I have people who respect me, who get me, who *gasp* LIKE me with all these things that are supposed to be WRONG with me.

That I got sent to "special schools", that were glorified booby-hatches for.

I was treated like a sub-human animal by these horrible stupid fucking people, and they were just plain dumb, and just plain wrong, it's really that simple, and this has been a dissection of their shitty "values", such as they are.

I don't want it to be vague, I openly reject them.

I defy them.
With every spark of life in my carcass.

I didn't clumsily stumble-bum through the flower patch like some dope, I made these decisions in my fucking head.

I want this to be clear.

If asshole scumbag dipshits, and crybabies are going to hate me in the future, I want it to be for the right fucking reasons.

I want you to really hate ME and not what the distorted IMPRESSION is.

I went through a lot of annoying SHIT because of fucking impressions.

I'm sure to get more shit, I've decades to go in this life, but let's at least get this shit right.

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