Slacker-age Slashers Shindig! The second! (Addendum)

Fuck! Knew I'd forget one!


Pumpkinhead quadrilogy 
(1988, 1994, 2006, 2007)

The films-

"Pumpkinhead", has Lance Henrikson. Directed by Stan Winston. A cult classic.

A man loses his son in a redneck horseplay accident, and plots revenge, and comes upon an old witch who who agrees to summon Pumpkinhead to kill the dummies for him.

But, there is a price....(tries to play coy)
Oh, alright, screw it, the movie is old enough...you become the next Pumpkinhead for the next guy.

"Pumpkinhead II: Blood wings", ooh, interesting cast, why haven't I seen this? Andrew Robinson, Soleil Moon Frye, Linnea Quigley, and Kane Hodder!

"Pumpkinhead: Ashes To Ashes",  has Doug Bradley (Pinhead), and Lance Henrikson is back.

But...it's shat out of SyFy, so....pppt!

"Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud", fillmed back-to-back with "Ashes To Ashes", also features Lance Henrikson.

The history-

Only seen the first, only have the desire to see 2.


Okay, I think that finally nailed all of 'em....now, to get back on schedule.

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Dracula-thon (Part 8.5)

Or, Franken-fest (part 6.5)

Doh! Two brand-spanking-new ones snuck up on me on the same night....
So, retro-fix....


Dear Dracula (2012)

The film-

A Cartoon Network special.

"What would happen if you wrote to Dracula instead of Santa?".

Probably fuckin' die, but....

Anyway, it's a cute thing for little kids, and has a nice "be yourself, and do your own thing", message which is hard to come by in this rotten corporate-conformity culture.

The history-

Watched for research purposes.
I've subjected myself to far worse.


Mockingbird Lane (2012)

The film-

A pilot for a planned series that got rejected for being too dark for kids, but played last night as a sort of Halloween special.
Could still get picked up if the ratings were good enough.

The Munsters are given the "Grimm", treatment, and made to look like regular humans.
...except Jerry O' Connel's Herman, who has Franken-scars all over, and a zipper to get at his heart for tune ups.

Hmm...y'know, I kinda dug it.
I was one of the most skeptical ones, and it won me over.
Probably because it was so dark.
Hey, the implications were always there...

The history-

Um...watched it.
*Shrug*

Aaand, there.

This goes between this, and this.

OR.

This, and this.

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Happy 10th Anniversary GTA: Vice City!!!!

Yeeeaaah!!!
Woulda chopped my fuggin' hands off if I forgot this day.
It only comes once. (:-D

See "Claude, Tommy Vercetti, Carl 'CJ', Johnson, and Nico Bellic", here.

Yeah, been ten years, gotta say, Tommy is my favorite video game character.
Isn't just "new game -itis", anymore.

Still pissed they didn't make the rest of the series a trilogy of just him, instead of that multi-generation bullshit.

Anyway, let's have some songs.

This one is for when I do the trick of taking the Kawasaki bike up the back stairs of the one building, up the elevator to the office cubicles, firing off the AK to get everyone running, shooting out the window, revving the bike with the brakes on, flying out the window, landing between the gap in the two buildings, then continuously doing the rooftop-to-rooftop jumps off the ramps.

(Whenever I can, I like to wrap that one up with climbing the water tower, and bazooka-ing the news chopper out of the sky and getting the cops all angry-bee-y)

All of that, OR jumping the Kawasaki off the moving car carrier.




For nighttime driving the Kawasaki bike in first-person mode.
You can almost feel the wind. Heh.




For doing the sea-plane challenge where you have to get it through all those rings.
Calms the nerves.




For the boat challenges.
The rhythm syncs to the bobbing of the boat through the choppy waves.
Gives you something to focus on besides getting virtual-seasick.




Made for the game, good anytime.
Good theme for fleeing a mall killing spree




Good anytime.
Especially in weird contrast to some chaotic carnage.




Played in the original ads.
Acknowledged by most as the theme of the game.
Good anytime.




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Happy 28th anniversary, Terminator!

See the Terminator quadrilogy review here.

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Beelzebub-blowout! (Part 3)

And now, again, back in my geek comfort zone, Satan in vidyah games, and comics.

Games.

Ghosts N' Goblins (1985)

The game-

One of the hardest fucking games ever.

You'll entertain the notion that maybe Satan had something to do with its development.

Anyway, there's a whole series of these, but...I didn't play 'em....
Just this.

The history-

Those little pink squeaky ghosts in level 2?
I call 'em "the howling hams".
Cuz, well, they look like hams.

Anyway, I've beaten this fucker.

Take that, Satan.
Eat it.


Devil May Cry (2001)

The game/history-

See "Dante", here.

Title sort of says it all.


Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow (2010)

The game-

Haven't played it, but Satan plays a pretty big role in it.

Course, one always knew Satan connected to vampires, what with them being a'fraidy-skeered of crosses, and holy water, and all.

But here, it's official.
So, that drops all the Castlevanias in.

The history-

See the link.


Comics

As can be expected, a shitload.

Here they all are at Comicvine.

Linky.

Strangely, it's not as many as you would think...
Only a couple pages worth.

Dracula has more.

But, since Satan's linked with vampires, I guess he gobbles up those too....

As for stuff I've already covered...great googa mooga....

Anything from these, these, or these, that has anything to do with Ghost Rider, Spawn, Lady Death (or any of her spinoff chicks, like Purgatori), or Hellboy, or Vampirella, and...if I missed anyone...they splice back in with crossovers anyway.

But...I gotta throw a couple pictures in here to represent comics, so...


Gumby's Winter Fun Special (1988)

The comic/history-

From here....


Okay, now, Gumby and Pokey actually starred in two of the coolest comics ever.

Gumby's Summer Fun Special, and Gumby's Winter Fun Special.

The latter of which, I have, and it kicks ass.
See, they face up against realistically drawn monsters, and the content is actually a very heavy PG.

In "Winter Fun..", they actually rescue Santa (who turns out to be a surly longshoreman) from Hell.
Then, they battle giant Japanese horror monsters with a Gumby robot.

They basically took a badass indie comic, and plopped Gumby and Pokey into it.
And...with the brave plucky adventurism of their characters, they actually fit in.
The art is spectacular.

So, yeah, it's this version of Gumby & Pokey in this thing.

Dracula In Hell (1992)

See here.

Hey, if the Castlevania-verse doesn't do it for ya, how's this?
I get ya coming both ways.


Yeah, all of that is good enough for ya....
Too bad, it's reruns.
I bust my ass.

So, up next, Satan in animation.

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Beelzebub-blowout! (Part 2)

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for meeeee!!!
For meeeee!!!
For meeeee!!!

Ahem, anyway...

So, the Devil isn't always popping up in person.
According to movies, his favorite trick, is to hop into the body of a chick, make her all ugly, and puke all over herself, and hang around just long enough to physically exhaust, and psychologically unravel, everyone in the immediate vicinity.
Basically, re-create Lindsay Lohan wherever he can.

Then, he takes off for a couple years, and does it all over again.

Why do this?
What logical sense does it make?
What's the point?
What's the payout?
Why?
WHY??

Well, the Dark Lord moves in mysterious ways....

Anyway, here's all the times that happened.

...besides Exorcist.


Abby (1974)

The film-

See "Blaxploitation Horror", here.

So, this one came right out one year after "The Exorcist".

And hey, dig it, Blackula is the exorcist in this one!
Squeee!!!

And, the fact that this exists...it must have inspired the "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back", episode of  "The Boondocks".

So...there's that.

The history-

Um, does researching the hell out of Blaxploitation in January count?


The Devil Within Her (1975)

The film-

A.K.A. "I don't Want To Be born".

With Joan Collins, and Donald Pleasance.

It's "Exorcist", meets "Rosemary's Baby", wrapped in the plot of Freddy 5, and, a dwarf is involved.
Because, not only do short people have no reason to live, they're satanic.
Ah, 70's, you were so progressive, and enlightened, and not at all superstitious.

The history-

Does face-palming through the plot description at Wikipedia count?


Beyond The Door (1976)

The film-

Pretty much "Exorcist", all over again, but with Hayley Mills's sister.

I wonder how many people looking for "Behind The Green Door", accidentally stumbled into this turkey...

The history-

N/A


Amityville II: The Possession (1982)

The film-

Another one of these fuckin' things....

An alleged prequel to the events of Amityville, which were already a bullshit story.

So, a teenage kid gets possessed, and the demon makes him kill his family with a hunting rifle.

It ends exactly the same as "Exorcist", with the demon getting lured into a priest at the end.

Paulie, from the Rocky series is the dad.

This was followed by "Amityville 3-D", and, then some other ones.
I'm not going to look them up, and neither should you.

The history-

AMC, I think.
They've got great shows, but man...their definition of "American Movie Classic", has slipped a few notches.


The Demon Murder Case (1983)

The film-

Made-for-TV.

Based on a real life case.
I'll get into that in the history section.

Kevin Bacon is the demon murderer, Eddie Albert (from "Green Acres") is the exorcist, and Andy Griffith is the lawyer.

Schlock!
Ah, but a special kind of evil propaganda schlock, see below...

The history-

So, here's the real life story.
Some asshole stabbed his landlord to death.
Open and shut.
The end.

But, some douchebag headline seeking "demon-ologists", latched on, and convinced the culprit, and his parents, to swear that he was possessed by the Devil, and to actually use this as a fucking legal defense.

Part of the bullshit story, for some reason, involved the little brother being possessed first, and then the demon hopping into the guy, and making him murder.
I dunno, were they working some "I was selflessly saving my little brother from evil, I'm actually a hero", angle?
Who the fuck knows?
This bullshit's bug-fuck crazy.

The judge threw this bullshit straight out without even blinking.
Good for him.

But, somehow, this grabbed headlines, enough they made this fucking TV movie out of it.

So, here's my real life story with this shitty flick.

So, I was 8 years old, I saw this thing, I bought into the whole "true story", bit, and, it scared the everliving fuck out of me.

It was on and off TV in a shot, and vanished into the ether.
Never been able to find it on home video, or even learn the title.

All I can fucking remember, is the weird voice on the possessed kid, and him blowing raspberries, and saying "there are 42 of us! We are 42!".

That, and that before he was possessed, the kid described the demon as looking like a man, burned black from head to toe, wearing a plaid shirt, and torn jeans, and with sunken eyes, and cloven hooves for feet.

I had a fucking nightmare about that thing!
Holy shit!

So, that drilled into my head, and stuck there for 29 fucking years....

Well, over the years, I've torn the internet apart looking for this fucking thing.
Brillo-ed the planet with every search tool known to mankind.
Even up until now, Wikipedia ain't got it, it's on no one's "top 20 possession films", lists, no one even remembers this fucking thing.
But, dammit, I insisted I saw this thing, I didn't dream it.

Well, today, yes, today, I got lucky.
I just typed in "made for TV boy gets possessed", at Google, as one last ditch attempt before doing this one tonight.

Landed on a message board where people ask questions, and a guy was looking for the exact same thing.

And someone KNEW!
"The Demon Murder Case".
I highlighted, and Googled, and got everything on it!

Even a blog about it, on a blog specifically for movies that traumatized people my age as kids!
Kindertrauma.

And then, I found it!
IT!
The clip of the whole raspberry speech thing!
Linky!

Oh, holy shit, there it is!
No more getting stupid looks from people when I describe this fucking thing!
I've had it confirmed!

...man...seeing it again...it's STUPID!

The only way that shit is scary, is if you hold any stock in it.
And, that makes me even more dedicated to going after spiritualist bunko with a passion.

Anyway, the real life kid from that case is all grown up, and flat out says it's all bullshit, and that he was coached to say all that possession shit on the stand by those fucking mediums.

Jayzus, a fucking MURDER, they tried to get a MURDERER off for the sake of their psychic bullshit, and fame.
And a little bit of money.
A piddly-shit little bit of money.
And, they fucked up a kid in the process.
And, fucked up a generation of kids with that fucking movie.
Disgusting.

Now, I gotta hear these awful psychics of today with their "eew, I hewp peopwe, I hewp peapwe!".
Fuuuuck yooouuu.

Anyway, I'm happy as a pig in shit having found all this info, and being able to blast out this rant.
Ahhhh....(:-D


Repossessed (1990)

The film-

The parody of "The Exorcist", starring Linda Blair.

It was an exorcism for her of that fucking movie, and it ought to have been an exorcism for us of any more of these.

But noooo.....
The kind of assholes who instigated the events of "The Demon Murder Case", work in Hollywood, so....

The history-

Rental.
Hey, it had Leslie Nielsen, and he'd just hit it out of the park with "Naked Gun 2 ½", how were we to know?


Stigmata (1999)

The film-

Ho boy....so, the Exorcism genre actually had the decency to lie fallow for almost 10 years...I'll give it that...

Um, Jack Donner's in it, it's got that....

The history-

N/A


The Exorcism Of Emily Rose (2005)

The film-

So, we were 6 years without another one of these, so, I thought we were good.
6-10 years apart, I could have lived with that...little did I know...

The history-

N/A


Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers (2006)

The film-

Seriously, what the physical fuck?
I mean, just one year after Emily Rose, and it's even got a chick's name title.

The history-

And then, the exploiters of credulity counted their money, and the doors flew the fuck open, and...


The Last Exorcism (2010)

The film-

The title? An outright shameless lie.

The history-

N/A


The Rite (2011)

The film-

Well...it's got Anthony Hopkins...
Y'know what?
I'll watch "Lambs".
Or, "Thor".
Anything but this.

"Road To Wellville", that's always been underrated.
Yeah, there's one to watch.

The history-

N/A


Devil Inside (2012)

The film-

So, shit, starting at 2010, we were up to one a year now.

Is that poster supposed to be scary?
It's just very mildly icky.

That title just makes me think of the INXS song.
I betcha good money that it's not in the fucking soundtrack.

The history-

N/A


The Possession (2012)

The film-

Two a year?!?!?!

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!

The history-

N/A


Okay, now, for ones that aren't exactly outright Exorcist knockoffs, but kind of straddle the line....


Burnt Offerings (1977)

The film-

Kind of "Psycho", meets "The Shining".

A family goes to a creepy house, but, the mother, instead of the father, gets possessed by the house, and goes apeshit.

Spoiler-
Everyone fucking dies.

The history-

So, like "The Demon Murder Case", this is another one I have a long history with, and lucked into today.

I saw this the first time I went down to Disneyworld when I was six.
My folks watched this fuckin' thing in the hotel room.
All I can remember, was Oliver Reed getting tossed out the window, and landing face first on the windshield of his car, all cut up and blood right in front of his kid.

Yeah, that fucked me up pretty good.

And, like "The Demon Murder Case", I could never lock onto this thing, I didn't even know it was Oliver Reed, but, looking up possession movies for this thing, not even looking for this one, I freakishly stumbled onto it.

So, YAY! I finally know!
"Burnt Offereings!".

"Burnt Offerings", and "The Demon Murder Case"!
The search is finally over!
I've solved every mystery, found every treasure, and accomplished my childhood dream, there's nothing left to do, but goof off now.

*Kicks up feet* yeah, that was a pretty good life.


Demons (1986)

The film-

So, imagine the Deadites multiply to a horde, and make it to a city.
This is what a real fucking Devil would do.
Not fuck around with some little kid just to make its parents bawl for a week.
I mean, come on...

The history-

Haven't seen it.
Got to.


Event Horizon (1997)

The film-

A whole fucking spaceship comes back possessed.
Sounds better than it actually is.

Meh, watch "Alien", instead.

Failing that, "Lifeforce".

The history-

Cable.


Fallen (1998)

The film-

A demon hops from body to body, behaving like a super-criminal.
Yeah, see, another proper Devil strategy.
You've got these powers, why limit yourself?

Anyway, Denzel is the guy that hunts him.

The history-

N/A


Drag Me To Hell (2009)

The film-

Raimi comes back to horror.

Friends have told me this actually doesn't suck.

The history-

N/A


Okay, now, for reruns....

"Prince of Darkness", has a possession....

..."Night Of The Demons", has a possession...

Evil Dead trilogy is all possessions!

"A Nightmare On Elm Street 2", is all about possession.

"Ghostbusters", has a couple possessions (devil dogs).

"Constantine", has a possession that he resolves hilariously easy compared to all other possession flicks.


Aaand, yeah, probably dozens to hundreds of others, but that's the ones worth remembering for me.

Up next, Devil in vidya games, and, comic books.

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Beelzebub-blowout!

And now, dedicated to the guy who really makes it all happen...*kisses finger, points to the ground*.
Devil, m'man!
*Fist tap against shoulder*
;)


Angel On My Shoulder (1946)

The film-

Hmm...kinda like "Heaven Can Wait",...with The Devil.
Fuck off, Warren Beatty.

The history-

N/A


The Undead (1957)

The film-

A Roger Corman schlocker.

I...actually kinda dig it!

Okay, so, a quack psychiatrist hypnotically regresses a hooker into her past life in medieval times, and there, she gets sentenced to be executed for witchcraft, so, to keep from fucking up the time stream, he wires himself into her brainwaves, and goes in after her.
Meaning, somehow, just by mind-synch-ing, he physically quantum-leaps into her past-life-projection all naked, like Terminator.

After stealing some clothes, he goes to rescue her, and, who should intervene, but The Devil!
Not just a guy in a red leisure suit either, the full-on red face and horns Devil.
And, he's totally hip to time travel, and isn't surprised at all.
In fact, he's expecting all this bullshit with hammy laughter.

Hijinks ensue!

MST3K did this one.

I...like the ideas in it, it's such a kooky jumble of things that don't seem to go together, you're constantly going "WTF??".

This totally needs a remake.

The history-

MST3K.


Rosemary's Baby (1968)

The film-

This, "Love Story", and "The Godfather", in a row saved Paramount's ass.
But, "Rosemary's Baby", really got the ball rolling.

Once again, horror bails big-Hollywood out, and as usual, it went right back to being the redheaded stepchild.
Dicks.

Anyway, another "where were ya, in a cave?", movie.

Devil bangs Mia Farrow, knocks her up with the Antichrist.
Everyone in her life is a bunch of sneaky, phony, conspiring, assuring weirdos about it.
Man, we've all been there, haven't we?

Directed by Roman Polanski, who you may remember from "The Fearless Vampire Killers", and, pedophelia.

The history-

TCM.


The Omen (1976)

The film-

Almost 10 years after "Rosemary", another Antichrist picture.

This time, 20th Century Fox was in trouble.
This, and "Star Wars", saved them.

Music by Jerry Goldsmith, directed by Richard Donner (of "Superman", fame).

Here, it's a 5 year old kid, and bad shit happens around him, that the audience is pretty sure is caused by him with mental powers, but no one in the flick can seem to prove to anyone's satisfaction.

Ah, movie-people.
When it's some bit of cult-y hookum, they swallow the hook deep into their gullets, when you need them to believe in real monsters, they suddenly become the most skeptical motherfuckers in the universe.

And, if you're a little kid seeing this shit, it's always always "an overactive imagination".

Yeah, lotta writers from this era needed to be banged over the head with their typewriters.

Anyway, the deaths are pretty good in this, once you gloomily accept everyone in this besides the evil kid are ineffectual, and/or downright brain damaged.

The whole "666 on the head", meme comes from this flick.

The history-

Cable.
Possibly HBO.


Damien: Omen II (1978)

The film-

Damien ages up to 12, the conspiracy to get him into power becomes more apparent, and Damien finally learns what he is.

The rest is the same shit from the first one.

The history-

Ditto "Omen".


Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981)

The film-

"The one where he becomes President".

*Thumbs down, raspberry*

The history-

Double-ditto "Omen".


Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)

The film-

Same bullshit all over again, with a little girl this time.

Made-for-TV.

Snorefest.

The history-

Oddly, this was a rental.


The Omen (2006)

The film-

So, 30 years later, they blew the dust off, and started all over yet again....

Released on 06/06/06.
Heh, clever.

Damned near the Gus Van Sant treatment, and you know how I feel about that (if not, see the "Psycho", remake here).

Give it a miss.

The history-

N/A


The Devil, and Max Devlin (1981)

The film-

There you go, Hyla. ;)
Full circle.

So, Bill Cosby is The Devil, Elliott Gould is Max, and...it's pretty much a variation on "Angel On My Shoulder", with Devlin being revived from death, and trying to keep his soul out of Hell.

The presence of The Devil, and mild swearing, caused Disney to make Touchstone Pictures as a front-logo to hide their racier fare behind.

Ironically, this was a much sweeter movie than "One Magic Christmas", just 4 years later, which was totally on the side of Angels, yet came out creepy, and wicked, and yet Disney had no problem whatever putting their brand on it.

I said it before.
Fuck you, Disney.

The history-

Cable.
I forget which channel.
Disney, maybe.


Amityville 3-D (1983)

The film-

A.K.A. "Amityville: The Demon".

Awful.
But, there's a demon, which means Hell, which means Satan.
The demon looks like shit.
Literally.

Maybe this ropes me into doing the whole series, but...fuck it, I'm not gonna.
They're all just awful.

'Cept maybe the first one.
And, really only cuz Margot Kidder gets naked.

The history-

HBO.


Prince Of Darkness (1987)

The film-

A John Carpenter joint, and...I dig it, cuz it's all Carpenter-y...but...shit, it's a fucking maze....

It would take me a thesis sized paper to get into everything happening in this fucking thing.

But, suffice it to say, in the final moments, Satan does poke his hoof into our plane of reality.

So, yes, at least the title is not a lie.

You've really got to just watch it to get it.

The history-

Cable.
Probably SyFy channel.


Little Nicky (2000)

The film-

Finally, the Antichrist parody the world was asking for.

Adam Sandler is Nicky.
Harvey Keitel is Satan.

Ozzy Osbourne shows up in the best cameo ever.
Worth the whole fuckin' movie.

The history-

Comedy Central.


Okay, now reruns...


The Story Of Mankind

See here.


Bedazzled

See here.


Oh God! You Devil

See here.


The Exorcist

See here, and here.


Exorcist sequels

See here.


Wholly Moses!

See here.


The Seventh Sign

See here.


Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

See here.


Dark Angel: The Ascent

See here.


The Stand

See here.


The Devil's Advocate

See here.


Dogma

See here.


End Of Days

See here.



Left Behind
Left Behind II: Tribulation Force

See here.


The Passion of the Christ

See here.


The Toxic Avenger Part III:
The Last Temptation Of Toxie

See here.


Time Bandits

See here.


Ghost Rider

See here.


Spawn

See here.


Faust: Love Of The Damned

See here.


Constantine

See here, and here.


Demon Knight

See here.


Hellboy

See here, here, and here.


Legend

See here.


Tenacious D in The Pick Of Destiny

See here.


Santa Claus (1959)

See here.


And...that's all the best Devil flicks I can come up with....that have an actual Devil in 'em.

Up next...possession films, or...Exorcist knockoffs.



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