Halloween Five!!!!!

Yep, here we go.
Yet again, tomorrow is October, and the Halloween marathon begins anew.

So here's the recap of the prior years of pre-Halloween announcements.

• Halloween Two!!
• Halloween Three!!!
• Halloween Four!!!!

And, here's a recap of prior Halloweens.

Halloween 1, 80's slashers.

Halloween 2, classic monsters.

Halloween 3, Masters Of Horror.

Halloween 4, True Stories.


So, yeah, I kinda flubbed last years, and since I dumped the original concept at the last minute, I pretty much threw together the replacement topic in a sloppy lazy rush, but then I loopholed it in at the end.
But in hindsight, y'know, I'm glad it went the way it did.
My biographical stuff is an actual true story instead of the shitty lies I was going to make fun of.
That's a better way to attack that shit than ranting and raving at it.

Anyhoo, as I said last year...

Next year, Pumpkin Potpurri.

Which, I can finally reveal, is just a cute name for what I did last year with the whole "update-athon", concept.
It's a more accurate name than the cheat loophole I did with "true stories".
I'm just gonna keep doing that, since all the big topics have pretty much been covered.

See you tomorrow for the start of that.


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Happy 4th ThatGalaxyNextDoor Day!!

• Year 1.
• Year 2.
• Year 3.

So, here you are, where I was shortly after we met back up.
Full circle.
(Vader voice) now YOU are the master.

His own retrospective is finally ready, so hop on over.

Linky!!

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Cleo/Leo update.

Holy shit!

Projection Booth not only did an episode on this, but it was 15 minutes short of 4 hours!
And it was GOOD!
Made me re-assess, and bump my original review up a star.

And to think, if I hadn't tuned in all that Cinemax porn back in the early 90's, I never would have seen this, carried it around in my memory, seen it again last year, and known to watch this episode.
It all comes around.

So, yeah, Projection Booth is fuckin' awesome.


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Uncle Robert saves the day!! (Part 2)

Getting an early jump on Halloween...

Fear Clinic (2014)

First, recap.

• Uncle Robert saves the day!! (Part 1)
• Latest batch of goodies. (Inkubus)
• Flicks I've watched (Part 26) (Moleman Of Belmont Avenue)

And from here...

Robert Englund has "Fear Clinic", coming out.
Not holding my breath on that being good after "Inkubus", and "Moleman".
Willing to be wrong, but not pinning hopes on it.

Now, finally, to the flick.

Meeehhhh.......

Well...it's not "Inkubus", level bad....

Alright, starting post "Freddy vs Jason", with "Inkubus", as worst, and "Leslie Vernon", as best, I'll rank 'em like this.

1. Leslie Vernon
2. Zombie Strippers
3. 2001 Maniacs
4. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
5. Fear Clinic
6. Moleman Of Belmont Avenue
7. Inkubus

So, there you go.
He's still on the unlucky streak.
I hear the web series version is better, I'll have to check that out.

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Happy Fall!

And, there goes summer.

Time to turn the box fan off.

So, typical Maine summer. Scalding hot. Rain. Repeat.

Then every 8th day, an inexplicable cold day stolen from fall.
Because, Maine.

I reeeeaaally hope winter won't be as horrible as last year (bitched about it in spring).
Really filled with dread about it. :-(


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Crossovers 42. (Imaginationland)

I've said multiple times if I could just canonize South Park's "Imaginationland", that would finish it off.

Well, I finally found the path there.

Dr. Katz (played by Jonathan Katz, so it's really him) was on "South Park".

Denis Leary was on "Dr. Katz".

Denis Leary was on "Space Ghost Coast To Coast", and as a little Easter egg joke said "Dr. Katz is my arch enemy".

Good enough for me, fuck it, it's a "Dr. Katz", "Space Ghost", crossover.

"Space Ghost", connects to "Aqua Teen Hunger Force".

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force", connects to "Robot Chicken" (Grand Master Shake played by his voice actor shows up).

"Robot Chicken", connects to "Family Guy", via "Road To The Multiverse".

"Family Guy", crossed over with "Simpsons".

"Simpsons", crossed over with "X-Files".

"X-files", crossed over in the comics with "30 Days Of Night", and "30 Days Of Night", crossed over with "Infestation 2", which included "Danger Girl", who met Batman, and then Batman has crossed over with Marvel, and from Marvel/DC you've got everybody.

And that canonizes all the characters in "Imaginationland", and here's the list of those.

Link.


And, that finally links "South Park", into the big "Simpsons", "Family Guy", trifecta.

Boom, done.
*Dusts off hands*


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Happy 19th anniversary, George Carlin: Back In Town!

Previous-

• 16th.
• 17th.
• 18th.

Also, "the shit on my walls (part 1)".

Still my favorite comedy concert.
It's got "state prison farms".
It starts right in attacking pro-lifers.
It's got the line "fuck Mickey with a big rubber dick....and break it off inside".
You can't top that.

Next year will be the 20th. I'll have to think of something special.


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QD:Season 2, Chapter 17. (Green Key/Laser-Jail)

1989

January 13th.

"Once upon a time, there were a bunch of guys shooting each other with big guns...".


1992

Harry Hembock threw his latest gadget on the ground a yard away from Lord Prizmus.

It was a metal box the size of a VHS tape, with a circular iris hatch on top.
The iris opened, and a beam shot out.
It was actually two beams overlapping.
A shrink ray, and a tractor beam.
Prizmus shrank, and was sucked up into the iris.
Once inside the box, a time-stopper field froze him like a bug in amber.

The iris closed, and a blinking indicator told Harry that Prizmus was safely contained.

He picked up the box, and took it back to his home base where he slotted it into a larger device the size of a tool-shed.
The contents of the box were sucked out, time-stopper energy and all, and held in place via a grid of intersecting tractor beams.

Harry called this larger machine "The Laser-Jail".


Young Mike Meggison snapped out of this fantasy, realized the time, and packed up and went home.


July 2nd, 2014.

Jade-Shade looked up at the Phileene's display that The Slicker had turned Peerless Person and Phenomenal Female into with amused admiration.

He then got everyone into Dr. H's van to clear the hell out before the morning customers filed in.

As he drove along, he switched his mask to "privacy mode".
Noise-cancelling technology would make him "muted", outside of the mask to others, but he could talk to himself, and work speech recognition controls inside the mask.

He voice recorded a diary entry on everything that had transpired in the last 24 hours, saved it as an MP3 file, and attached it, along with mask-camera video of the events themselves to an e-mail.
He plugged a gum-pack sized cellular modem into the USB on the mask, set up a wi-fi link, and sent the e-mail off to Mike Meggison.


Mike Meggison woke up at about noon time, and got the e-mail.
He watched the videos, listened to the MP3, fired up notepad, and began transcribing it all.

Then, he boiled it down to the essential elements, got it worded just how he liked it, saved the file, backed it up on a flash drive, and planned to upload it to Shmegalamonga.

The flash drive was a duplicate of the one JS had used to play music off of at the big superhero party.
A miniature JS head with a metallic green finish.

Mike had multiple flash drives, and the JS drive he called "the green key".

When he did a backup, he imagined it like Harry emptying a villain into The Laser-Jail.

Except in reverse, with the evil that JS defeated being drained away into a smaller talisman.

"Bullshit busters!", he whispered with a sly grin.

Mike ejected and removed the green key, held it up proudly, and almost kissed it, but thought better of it.

Mike looked at his black LCD monitor.
Two black soup can shaped speakers sat behind it on either side.

Next to the monitor/speakers, to the right, a black scanner/printer almost the same size as the computer tower itself.

Next to the printer, to the right again, sat the computer tower.
Again, black. It all matched.
There was no room on the desk, so it sat on Mike's bureau.

Two feet above the printer, thumb-tacked to the wall, was Hyla's pic of the Jade-Shade mask.
Mike looked up at it, and smiled.
He hoped JS approved of his labors.

Mike had posted a pic of this computer nook as "main navigation", of "The S.S. Shmegalamonga", in the post titled "Fish From The Quantum Sea #13".

And all his wall posters were posted as part of the "The Shit On My Walls", series.

To his left, a small two shelf file cabinet came up to the exact same height as his desk. The cabinet contained DVDs, and he also used it as an arm rest for his left arm, and a snack/lunch table.

Currently, Wembley the cat lay on it begging for attention.
Mike brushed cat hair off the "c", key.

Mike pet Wembley on the shoulder, and Wembley let out a chirp/grunt that sounded like "Mmnh!".


September 13th, 2015.

Mike Meggison put the finishing touches on "QD:Season 2, Chapter 17. (Green Key/Laser-Jail)", and got ready to dump it to "The Laser Jail", via the Green Key, and fire it off to Shmegalamonga.

Mike pet Wembley on the shoulder, and Wembley let out a chirp/grunt that sounded like "Mmnh!".

He fired up Shmegalamonga, hit "new post", pasted it over, let the form field do spell-check, pasted the spell-checked version back over to the notepad to be the final version, pasted in the code for the "read more..", in the form field version, and hit the orange "publish", button.

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Big winter 2015 movie preview (update).

Part 1.


*Forehead smack*
DOY!!!

Even though these lurch into 2016, it's still the same winter, so...


Deadpool (2016)

In February.


Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016)

In March.

Theeere we go!

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QD:Season 2, Chapter 16. (Chokecherry vs. Mage-Shiv (Round 2))

Sometime in the 1990's.

An obnoxious hack by the name of Aaron Snowe gave the right person a blowjob, and broke into the comics industry.

There, he wrote and drew issue after horrible issue featuring characters with giant guns that made no engineering sense, lots of pouches all over their costumes, women with broken spines, exposed vulvae, and anatomically disadvantageous balloon breasts.
Also, everyone male or female had tiny fucked up feet.

Somehow, readers lapped this up.

Then, he went on to found his own company called Visage.

With his ensuing riches, he bought the original movie prop sword from the Galaxic Gladiator movie, and then snagged a gold-digging leggy supermodel wife named Lana Alice Nichole, whom he based a character on, whom he then gave her own spin-off title, and had her cosplay as that character constantly.
The name of that character was Mage-Shiv.

One day, Aaron Snowe died under mysterious circumstances, found impaled on the Galaxic Gladiator sword.

Alice/Mage-Shiv became a rich woman.

And a hated and divisive figure in fandom.

When the ire among the convention community got too hot to handle, she randomly decided to horn in on the real life superhero movement.

She proceeded to team up with (read "dangerously shoved herself into the middle of fights of") The Legion Of Liberty, Zomberella, Grave Thief, The Haziness, Psycho Nun, Honey Badger, Excruciationizer, Orange Emma, Nomoe, Beady-Eyed Weasel-Face, Demoe, Dim Bulbs, Mistress Kill, Grimkyde, Chrome Canoeist, Chrysothemis, Corpse Biker, Prodigious Mass, Dr. Oddball, Unassailable, Sire, Ferocious Wyvern (a Prodigious Mass clone without the cancer), Gulff, Brood 64, Feral D.O.G.S., The Mostestt, Jujitsu Salamanders, Osseus, Sick-Puppy, Fucking-Demise, Interlopers In Utopia, Shitbrat, Chimp Guy & O'Mally, Reggie's Gang, and through Honey-Badger's connections, Astro Gallop.

And among the villains she "fought", were Hotdog Head, Pussyface, Dorian Grey, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Wolfman, and Uranus Invaders.

During all of this, via incompetence, affairs, drama, manipulation, all around bitch-itude, and just plain being a jinx, she caused the breakup of teams, the frustrated retirement of individual heroes, and even death, both in battle, and by suicide.

After the smoke cleared, the only ones left standing were Legion Of Liberty, Excruciationizer, Astro Gallop, and Prodigious Mass.
And Prodigious Mass died later at the hands of JS, and Astro Gallop were really just convention geeks representing their show, and had their own separate little genre world to tend to.

Then, at the same time as all of this, the comics industry collapsed.

So, essentially, the superhero movement died out, and had to be rebuilt almost from scratch 20 years later by JS.

Just as Captain Descrambler blew it during the baby-boomer generation, Mage-Shiv was the symbol of how the Gen-Xers blew it.

Two strikes...

All of this is why Chokecherry hated Mage-Shiv's rotten stinking guts.
She'd done her homework.


July 3rd, 2014.
         
Lentilville Crossing, the complex that was home to Bradford, Hannalees, and Lovely's.

Chokecherry looked down at Mage-Shiv's beaten and bloodied body in the dumpster behind the donut shop.

It had been a glorious battle.
And Chokie hadn't gotten a scratch on her.
Mage-Shiv really sucked at this.
How she'd done so much damage in her day could only be chocked up to the weakness and stupidity of the X-ers, she (correctly) assumed.

Mage-Shiv was covered in the various frostings and fillings of squashed thrown out donuts and pastries.

Chokie fished out a blueberry filled, and mushed it into her bloody, toothless, open moaning mouth to muffle her.

Two days ago, Excruciationizer stupidly and obliviously invited her to their big party.
That had been the last straw.
Corrective measures had to be taken.
And now they had been.

Chokie slammed the dumpster shut.

She noted that it was an Advanced Leavings Disposal Company brand dumpster.
The same kind her and Jadie had consummated their first "date", behind.
She was flooded with warm memories, and blushed.

As she went to leave, she saw dried muddy tire tracks heading from a back trailer entrance, and a dropped business card glued down by the mud.
She picked it up, and it read "World Wide Wands- quality dildonic products since 1863".

She looked, and the trailer entrance was in the back of Bradford.
They were a family department store, not a sex toy dealer.
"Well...that's fucked up", she muttered aloud.

Maybe this was a case for the team.
Or, maybe she was just being paranoid, and the truck driver just liked things to put up his ass, and wanted the phone number and web link handy.

She shrugged, slipped the card into her purse anyway, and left on the Cherry-sicle.


Seconds after she left, an employee of the donut shop came out for his smoke break.

He had with him a vanilla latte which he only drank half of, and tossed into the dumpster without raising the lid high enough to look in and see Mage-Shiv.

The latte splashed all over her head.
Bulls-eye.

The employee's name tag read "Johnny".

As we walked from the dumpster, back towards work, he shook his head, and grumbled "donuts are WAR".

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QD:Season 2, Chapter 15. (Avian Louse meets Offal)

1965.

Hank George Charles was born.


1970.

Five year old Hank received his first comic book.
Issue sixty of "Proton: The Periodic Man".


1975.

Ten year old Hank's class went on a field trip to Gardner's Meats, a meat processing plant that made hot dogs.

At the very end, Hank accidentally saw a wagon of quivering entrails being pushed past by a thoughtless and desensitized worker.

This left an impression on him for the rest of his life.


1978.

After his mother screamed at him for his bad grades to the point of a red faced fit, and then confiscated and threw away his comic collection, un-phased, and with cold resolve, Hank said (on the inside) "y'know, you're just a crazy bitch".

That night, he gathered his favorite treasures, and ran away from home, never to return.

He was going to search for a life in showbiz.
And not in a circus like so many other dwarves.

Did I mention he was a little person?
Well, there it is.


1980.

Hank found it easy to lie about his age, and use fake ID to go to open mic nights, and hone his stand-up act.

One night, while watching rented horror tapes in his apartment (also gotten with lying and fake ID) he realized that the best comedy wasn't being done by Catskills trained hacks, or sweaty neurotic New Yorkers, but by horror authors and directors.
They'd always gotten the most visceral deep gut laughs out of him.

He knew the direction he had to take his act, indeed, comedy itself.

He flashed back to that gut wagon at Gardner's Meats, and decided his new stage persona's name would be "Offal".


1981.

In one short year, Hank/Offal had the new act nailed.
It was Gallagher meets Gwar, and the spoken material was a mix of dark poetry, and jaded topical commentary.

It wasn't to everyone's taste, but it quickly found its audience.


1985.

Offal was legitimately famous.
There was merchandise, movie offers, TV scripts, the whole deal.

At one show, among many autographs he signed, was a poster for Wayne Vance.

This of course would run afoul of the infamous Ms. Whitesmith.

Offal would have been able to relate.


1986.

Offal starred in a semi-autobiographical horror movie where he played a foulmouthed killer doll.

Several terrible sequels would follow.


1987.

The horror films spun off, oddly, into a sitcom.

Every episode, Offal would murder someone in the neighborhood, and the white-bread family he lived with would have to dispose of the bodies in increasingly disturbing ways to keep from being implicated as accessories, which they now of course were.

Critics were livid over the involvement of the child actors in these scenes.

It was canceled after one season.


1988.

The sitcom cancelled, and the film sequels slowing down, Offal did a late night talk show, still in character as the doll from the films and series.

As expected, it showcased gore, profanity, and remorseless humiliation of the guests.
Usually with horrible pranks, but often with confrontational and outright mean interviews.

It was cancelled after half a season.


1990.

The films were gone, the show offers were gone, and Offal was getting banned from clubs.

As part of an effort to rehabilitate his image, he went on Sunflower Seed Lane, an educational children's show with puppets.

Offal got into a drunken profanity laced shouting argument with one of the puppets, and ripped its arms off in front of the child stars, scarring them for the rest of their lives.

He was banned from the network for life.


1991.

The tenth year anniversary of Offal's launch to stardom, Offal allowed himself to be interviewed for a biographical special called "The Offal Truth", as part of a desperate attempt at a comeback.

It documented all of the above, plus his dalliances with substances, and his various love affairs.

It was a flop.
No one cared.


1992-1999.

Offal continued to float around the outer edges of showbiz.

Doing the occasional commercial, a game-show here, a reality show there.
Sometimes, some cartoon voice work.
Once such job was as the voice of Proton: The Periodic Man.
It was all just enough to financially keep his nose above water.


2000-2010.

The generation who grew up on him came into prominence, and he was given a Vegas run of his old act.
He lived high on the hog in those years.


2011-2013.

The tour ended, and he pissed away the money.
The usual; gambling, booze, women, and shady investments.


2014.

Defeated by showbiz for the last time, Offal came crawling back to his hated hometown.

Lentilville.

He drove by the dilapidated house of his now dead mother, and flipped it off.

He drove by Gardner's Meats. Still there.
The logo had changed colors, but they were still churning out the same terrible sweaty heartburn making hot dogs.

He flipped it off.

Offal was now 49, bald with a mullet in the back like Ben Franklin, permanent black circles under his eyes, and still wearing a turquoise leisure suit with flower print shirt.
The outfit he'd started comedy in during the 70's before creating the Offal persona.

He looked at the laminated and framed copy of "Proton: The Periodic Man", issue #60 beside him in the passenger seat, and sighed forlornly for his lost youth.

It hadn't lasted long at all.

Now, he was headed toward a small local comedy club.
The sort of filthy smelly dump he'd started at.

The Lentilville Comedy Club was dominated by Jacob Cratchit, an unfunny chinless witless bumpkin who played a character of an even unfunnier witless bumpkin to give the city folk the blue collar New England stereotype they wanted.

If you wanted to be a comedian in Lentilville, indeed, northern New England, you pretty much had to kiss his ass to get near the stage, and not outshine him to stay there.

Offal toyed around with if it was worth his while to do so.
Whether it was truly "mature", and "responsible", to play that game.

Then, he flashed back to a pivotal moment in his life.


It was 1972, Hank was seven, and he was doing his cursive letter a's.

The teacher was being a real hag, and telling him they looked like bananas, and made him keep doing them over and over.
Sheet of paper after sheet of paper.

Finally, he got pissed, and drew a line of asses.
Just circles with lines through them.
He mooned her on paper.

Oh, THOSE she recognized.
The woman flipped out like he'd whipped out his dick, and started fucking the class hamster, grabbed the paper off the desk, and called his mother in for an "emergency", meeting.


Ten years later, 1981, he sent that teacher a free ticket to one of his shows, not telling her who he used to be, made sure she was in the audience, and had a row of fat sweaty teamsters march in, drop trough, and re-enact the line of moons.

A couple of them put a period on the sentence with a brisk coffee and cabbage infused fart.

The woman ran out crying.
"Good, fuck her.
How many kids did she reduce to tears over the years?", he thought.

It remained one of his most shining moments.
Greater than any showbiz award, or fat paycheck, or picture on a VHS box.


Offal came back to 2014, smiled, and said "Offal don't take shit from anybody".

He got out of his car, and marched towards the door of the club like an arrogant bad guy wrestler, ready for war.

Meanwhile, the van containing Jade-Shade, Commander Continuum, The Excruciationizer, Sigma-Max, Bog-Gob, Avian Louse, Captain Descrambler, and Vick Vivisection being followed on motorcycle by Xed Of The Undead was heading towards the Den Of Seclusion house, when Commander Continuum saw Offal's poster up in front of the Lentilville Comedy Club.
He shouted "oh, shit!! Pull over! You've got to pull over!!".

They pulled over, and let him out.
Avian Louse, also being a fan, followed after.

They went into the club with Offal already in progress.
Offal was asking the audience to give him a prop to riff off of.
Commander Continuum pulled his plastic sword out of his shirt, and tossed it across the room.
Offal caught it.

He looked it over, and said "oh yeah, I recognize this..".

And so the riff began.

"...this is a Galaxic Gladiator sword from the 1980's. There was a line of action figures, and Galaxic Gladiator had a miniature version of this. There was a comic book adaptation of the toys, and I collected them at the time. The comic had ads for candy and breakfast cereals. One of the cereals was Zam Bonies. They're still around today, and they had 'em when I was a kid. One time, we had really bad ants, and I didn't seal the bag up tight enough, and the ants got all in the Zam Bonies, and I didn't realize until I was eating them. Puked my fucking guts out. All those little cereal coffins and marshmallow skulls hadn't digested at all, and the black dye from the coffins made the puked up milk all black. Some of the ants were still twitching and thrashing, which made me puke even more. Ants, coffins, skulls, it was puke as directed by Tim Burton. You could almost hear the Elfman music. My dad paddled my ass with a wooden spoon for wasting food. Nice guy he was. One other time, different box, same cereal, there was a prize inside, a cheap flimsy plastic starship from "Astro Gallop", a low rent sci-fi show from the 60's. One of the leads from Astro Gallop fell on hard times, and ended up in a lovely little flick called "Nostrilocalypse: Dawn of the Demonic Booger Eaters". Now, back then, I heard the urban legend that you could get hepatitis from eating a fresh booger. And that spells hospital, and that spells waiting rooms.
And a waiting room is where I saw my first issue of Galaxic Gladiator.
Buddy of mine was getting an impacted shit pumped out of him at the time, I was there for spiritual support.
Anyway, the comic started at a Gothic castle, and the castle had noisy racist biker neighbors, and then the story followed the bikers to a gas station where they held the place up for meth money, killed the attendant for no reason, then went to the cemetery to do meth, and fuck each other. Rolling around huffing and puffing all over everyone else's aunts, uncles, and grandmas. Really doing their mamas proud. It was a wild fucking comic. So, the meth-heads are violating graves, and gang-banging the one woman in their herd, and the artist drew her as a sweet piece of cheesecake, she was called Penny, and she liked it in the ass, Ass-Penny was her nickname. So, they're gang-banging Ass-Penny, when suddenly, some pissed off zombies start climbing up out of the graves, and start tearing the bikers apart, and eating them.
It was pretty fucking sweet.
So, the zombies chow on the bikers for about four pages straight, eating them clothing and all, starting with the faces, and then time jumps ahead, and the zombies shit out all the metal bits. Chains, rings, pocket change, right down to the pennies. So, Ass-Penny got turned into ass pennies.
I was was roaring and knee slapping by this time, and people looked at me like I was nuts. Fuck 'em. Anyway, the scene pulls back from all this, and the vampire that lives in the Gothic castle from the beginning is looking down on all this with grim satisfaction, because he finally doesn't have to listen to these loud stupid idiots partying all night anymore.
Just then, Galaxic Gladiator runs in and impales the vampire on his sword, causing him to crumble into ash. Then he holds the sword up like this (Offal imitated the stance) shouts some Shakespearean bullshit, calls down the lighting, and fries all the zombies.
Now, this is where it gets fucking crazy. I found out less than a week later, the voice actor for the cartoon of Galaxic Gladiator died of hepatitis. Weirder still...he co-starred in "Nostrilocalypse: Dawn of the Demonic Booger Eaters". And now, all the merchandise from the show is worth a fucking fortune online, so don't be a stupid asshole, and start the bidding at thirty fucking bucks, kids. And don't let 'em pay in zombie ass pennies".

And with that, he tossed the sword back to Continuum.

Then, Offal looked at Jacob Cratchit, and said "and you, you chinless goober. You're unfunny as dogshit, and all the lame wussy wannabes are fucking too scared to tell you so. But I ain't. Your act is shit, you're a hack, a bully, and a coward, and you can go fuck yourself with a sharpened broomstick. And I hope some asshole is recording this on their phone. Go ahead and put it up on PoopTube. I want ya to".

Then he added "and goofus here waters down the drinks too".

With that final straw, Cratchit roared, and rushed the stage, then people from the audience rushed him, and then a brawl chain reacted.

Avian Louse "teleported", through the crowd, and rescued Offal, and got him the hell out of there.
Continuum was holding open the door.


Avain said to Offal as they walked down the sidewalk back to the van "hey, you got a place? We're a superhero team, and maybe we could set you up with something, maybe give you a job. You can even be my sidekick if you like".

Offal said, gesturing back at the club "I'll give it a shot, I sure ain't gonna book anymore gigs at that toilet".

Just then, a Lentilville moron walked up to them, and said "is that your date?".

Offal head-butted the fuckface in the crotch, and screamed "DIIEE!!!".

The moron crumpled, and whimpered like a girl.


Everyone got back into the van, except of course, Xed, and Offal had his own car, and they continued on their way to the big anniversary/team-up party at the Den.

There, Offal re-did his riff on Continuum's sword for everybody.

The MP3 boombox played "the sonic dwarf came swooping in from across the sea!", a novelty song off of one of Offal's comedy albums.

Offal accepted a couple shots of Floongold's from Xed.

Eidolon, Dwindle, and Xed eventually left for their separate adventures.

And in the final waning minutes, Dr. H made Offal an honorary member, and gave him a trumped up title which basically made him an errand boy.
Offal didn't mind.
Superhero errands had to be better than that shitty club.

Also, he had a crowd to play to anytime he wanted, and the pay was better.

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