Superhero Flicks, Part 9: Miscellaneous Marvels (Part 2)

Eh, last batch wasn't so hot, but these one are a smidge better...


The Punisher

The film-

Yeah, that's right, I'm not fucking around with sequence, I'm going right to the one I love.

I love this movie, I worship this movie, this is my "it's a wonderful life", I could play it all damned day.

And...I readily admit, it's not the greatest movie in the world, you might not even like it, but...it just fucking resonates for me.
There are just some fuckin' movies that are YOUR fuckin' movie, and this is mine.
It just totally works for me.

This, and Freddy vs. Jason made my 00's for me.
Anything after that, pure gravy.

I like this movie probably more than is healthy.
I don't fucking care.

The history-

From here...

Ohhh yeeahhh, got to see this at the theater, almost as jazzed leaving the theater as "Freddy Vs. Jason".
It got no props from hardly anyone.
Despite having Travolta, it's stayed a cult hit most people forgot.
And it even had a hit single off the soundtrack, Evanescence's "broken".
Fuckin' song charted, dammit.
Nope, no mainstream love for Punisher.
Ah, well.
Well, Punisher's comic is cult too, so, it's about right.

Punisher: War Zone

The film-

I dig it.
It ain't Tom Jane Punisher, but...it's entertaining.

Certainly fucking gorier.
This one plays more like an old issue of the black & white mature readers "Punisher's War Journal".
Totally different flavor than the Ennis books Jane Punisher was based around.

Both are valid.

The history-

Spike.


Fantastic Four

The film-

Okay, critics and fanboys fire-hosed piss onto this, but....what the fuck were people expecting?

Have any of you pretentious pricks READ the fucking books?

Especially the Lee/Kirby era shit?
This flick nailed it.
The FF are kinda fucking goofy, yeah.
That's the property you're fucking dealing with.
It ain't gonna be Nolan Batman.
Suck it up.

It is what it is, I like it.
I don't love it, but it's watchable on a rainy day.

I just wish this had segued into a movie version of "Hulk/Thing: The Big Change", now that demands to be a fucking film.
It'll never happen though...

The history-

FX.
FX has the moooveeez.


Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer

The film-

The FF aspect, ditto everything I said about 1.

And...unless/until a reboot/remake/spinoff comes along, this is the de-facto Silver Surfer flick.

Could he be represented better?
Oh, hell yeah.
But...he's a c-string character in the Marvel pecking order, he's lucky to have gotten a fucking flick.

If I were an avid Surfer fan, I'd probably be outraged.
As it is, I got a couple books with him in it, he's kinda neat, his power levels seem to fluctuate wildly, so....this film doesn't really fuck that up, now does it?

Yeah, I'll pass it with a C minus as a SS flick, and give it a B as a FF flick.

As an overall hero flick?
Oh, man....there ARE much worse.
Ones that give me physical pain.
I'd watch this over any of those.
Yeah, a C.
Third tier after the artistic masterpieces, and cult/nostalgia faves.

But..this one ain't too far away age wise from being in that latter family...

I'm trying to imagine if this had come out in the 80's...
I'd probably love the fucking thing alongside Superman, wouldn't I?

Okay, Superman 3.
The FF duology is Superman 3 good.
Yeah, B minus then.

The history-

Ditto FF 1.


Ghost Rider

The film-

Well, virtually the same speech as FF with less in the results department.

Sorry kiddies, Ghost Rider is kind of a lame book, a lame movie is what you get.
Hate to break your little hearts, but um, yeah.
There's that.

Sorry, he was the Spawn of his day.

A high D, because much worse deserve F, but...yeah....it is what it is.

Well....Craig Ferguson loved it.
And his love of this flick inspired the creation of Geoffry Peterson.
So...there, that's something....

The History-

FX/TNT/TBS..one of those...

I...was a Ghost Rider fan as a little kid.
It's allowed, kids are dumb.

It was actually a subversive act to be into GR back then too.

Ma was on her holy roller trip back then, and things with demons in it were forbidden, and a shitload of my old issues ended up in the fucking trash.

I totally blame the brainwashers, fuck you, you constipated wackaloon Mormon pieces of shit.

Hmm, I probably should've savored this one the way I savored Ang Lee Hulk...but...I dunno....maybe it needs another viewing now...

See? More reclaimed memory/identity, even more glad I'm writing all this shit now.


Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

The film-

Coming soon.

Fuck, given what I've just remembered, maybe I should be there at the Cineplex opening fucking day.


Up next...oh....I dunno...how about crap TV movies?