Saturday, November 5, 2011

Saw 3 Musketeers.


...at the candy counter.



What a disgrace.

They're skinnier, they come in two pieces, each piece is almost the "fun sized", one, and you have to get the "deluxe sized", to equal what used to be the normal sized.

..what? You thought I meant the new Milla Jovovich flick?

Aw, fuck no, I'll watch her slaughter zombie hordes, but rape history?
Nah, I've got my limits.

Oh, okay, I enjoyed her raping history in "The Messenger", but....that didn't have bullet-time magic-fu shit.
In a poofy dress.
That's my limit.

Anyway, this was for you, Andy.



5 comments:

Hyla Tracy II said...

Yarr! Bad enough the crap is all whipped up and shot through with air to cheat ya with!

They don't even hide that anymore! Candy bars that are shot full of more air pockets than a sponge are a hot ticket now! What the fuck is wrong with life on my planet!?!

Diacanu said...

And I dunno if you've noticed, but a half-gallon of ice cream is no longer a half gallon.

They've shrunk it, and put it in those new thingies with the rounded off corners, and the plastic cap hoping you won't notice.

I noticed.

It's..something pints...but not a half gallon.

Half gallon's never coming back.

Soon, it'll all be those Ben & Jerry sized buckets...then those little Hoodsie cups.

Air candy, and making people grateful for two spoonfuls of ice cream.

Evil.

Hyla Tracy II said...

Yes . . . the rounded corners . . .

At first I thought that was just some kind of package streamlining for a new generation of consumers, to make it more 'now', like how Pepsi and Sprite and whatever revamped their labels and logos in the last couple years . . . Or perhaps even a symptom of the scairdyass protect idiots from themselves so they don't sue for having no survival instincts or sense sickness, like the warnings on plastic grocery bags indicating that they aren't toys--why would you play with a plastic bag? Are you a cat?--or the the one on jars of peanut butter, which has the sole ingredient of peanuts, which says, "warning: contains peanuts" . . . There was even the excuse of packaging logistics; obviously they had to round the corners to facilitate the seal on the Tupperware style lid . . .

But, NO!

I SEE it now . . . By rounding the alleged half-gallon containers, they've shaved off the content of the squared corners! There were tablespoons in there! TABLESPOONS! Combined they could've equalled . . . I dunno, what, an ounce? Ounce and change? THAT I COULD'VE BEEN EATING! AND THAT I HAVE TO PAY MORE FOR NOW THAN I DID BEFORE THEY STOLE MY CORNER CONTENT!

Insidious! GIMME BACK MY CORNERS YOU FROZEN CONFECTION ROBBER BARONS!!!

Diacanu said...

The rounded corners AND the indent and bevel at the bottom.

I just looked it up, and it's gone down to 1.5 quarts.

Half a gallon is 2 quarts.

They steal a whole quarter of the original product from you.

Hyla Tracy II said...

A whole .5 QUARTS!?!?

FUCKING ICE-CREAM-SATAN FUCKS!

It's THESE assholes! THESE are the sumbitches who kifed your fucking comment on my blog, man! Saddle up Bill Shatner and lets WASTE these mofos!!!

(interreferential multi-stream commentary confusion strikes again . . .)

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