Monday, November 28, 2011

Superhero Flicks, Part 7: The X-Men

Well, there, that's The Avengers, that chews through a good chunk of the Marvel flicks.
These next ones almost finish it off.

The X-Men...

Oh..heck..let's try to get these in chronological order too....

X-Men: First Class

The film-

Easily the best of this lot, and...I've had more time to think it over, and it edges out Captain America by a nose hair for best summer movie of 2011.

So, glad that's decided, now I don't have to do the rest of this review.

*Packs up, and starts to leave*

What, I do?

The history-


X-Men Origins: Wolverine

The film-

From here...

Ignore X Men 3, it never happened.
The trilogy is this one, and X1 & X2.

Yeah, it's better than 3, but...what does that mean, y'know?
What does anything mean?
What if we're all dead?

The history-

Even though this one flashes back to way before "First Class", the main action happens shortly before X-Men, so, I'm counting that, and everything else as mere memory flashback, and not physical time.
It's easier, trust me.

Course, Hyla would say to just "fuck it", and my impulse is to agree, but...I've included far worse in these, why get exclusive now?


The film-

From here again...

And Marvel flicks officially got good here.
Then Spiderman, and the snowball was rolling.

The history-

The only one I own...and on was the waning years...what can I say?

X2: X-Men United

The film-

From here yet again....
(Boy, I'm glad I wrote these)

The series was still good at this point.
"XMen: The Last Stand", blew goats though.
I refuse to count it.
Or, give it it's own entry.
And I did one for T3, so that's saying something.

Yep, and then Singer scampered off to do Superman.


Saw this one at the theater.
I believe the alternative was "Bruce Almighty".
Yeah, I made the right call.

X-Men: The Last Stand

The film-

(See the X2 review)

The history-

(See above)

Yes, the current Marvel era of dominance has been bountiful, but...I picked the categories right, and there's only two to go now.

Up next, the leftovers


hyla2 said...

Sooo . . .

Who do you think had the better horrend-ilarious uber-cliche, "NOOOOOO!!!", grief-cry to the heavens?

Darth-Annie in Star Wars Ep-3, or Wolvie in XO:Wolverine?

Diacanu said...

Oh, shit, that's barely a question, Darth-Annie hands down.

Man, y'know, John Williams really phoned it in, he missed a perfect chance during the Vader transformation, to recall the Anakin theme from TPM, and like, connect the two ends, and try to make you care.

I mean, I thought that moment was coming for 9 fucking years, and then...he just...forgets.

Eh, George had basically beaten the joy and will out of everyone at the end with his micro-managing.


Diacanu said...

Also, I'm sure you're aware of the Ryan Reynolds Deadpool spinoff Wolverine is spawning.

I bet this post-jumps you...

hyla2 said...

(It did)

Hmm. Agreed.

Darth actually got the "NOOOOOO" in there . . . and Wolvie just roared . . . Although, Wolvie DID have an actual slain loved one in his arms . . . Annie didn't--

(just in the arms . . . in his heart . . . *snf*)

--BUT, then, at that point Annie's arms were slag-briquettes floating on a river of lava back on Mustafar.

hyla2 said...

Yeah, I heard about the Deadpool spinoff.

They gonna retcon the CyclopBaraka shit they did to him at the end of XO:W, or set the story before that hoohah?

Diacanu said...

Re: Deadpool.

The director has kinda hinted they're going to probably joke it away with Deadpool's Ambush Bug-esque fourth-wall powers.

hyla2 said...

That would be good. That or have him, I dunno, healing factor the gene mods and whatever out of his system or something . . .

Fan reaction was . . . less than enthused by that send up of the character as I recall.

Diacanu said...

Re: Wolverine.

Well....the flick was shallow action, and bad-boy posing, and explosion-fest...but, really, were the 80's books that much better?

hyla2 said...


I kids. Nah. You turn that movie into a late '80's, early '90's X-comic, fanboys probably would've creamed over it.

. . .

And the Blob boxing bit was funny. They gotta bring his ass back.

Diacanu said...

Well "THE Wolverine", is on its way...

maybe it'll be a fix, maybe it'll be more of the same, we shall see.

I've heard they want it to actually be a hard R.

hyla2 said...

Yes! . . . Ahh, but they'll probably have to back it down to a PG-13 before release (but there's always Director's Cut DVD's . . . heh-hehh)

S'posed to be based on Crazy Frank's ninja mini-series, so that's encouraging.

hyla2 said...

Not that the Frank Miller touch makes for movie gold or anything.

But he DID write that story back before he WAS crazy. Or before it was obvious, anyway.

SO. Y'know. Fingers crossed.

Diacanu said...

Hmm, never read 'em, but a friend of mine was heavily into 'em, so, I absorbed the gist vicariously.

Sounds good, if they can pull it off.

I've been continually amazed thus far by what they have been able to pull off.
I mean, Watchmen, for fucks sake, y'know?

Diacanu said...

Sin City was juuust before the snap, (possibly during) and I loved the shit out of that one.

That's upcoming, whenever I can work out a category to shoehorn it into.

hyla2 said...

There was a lot of bitching over Watchmen, predictably, but I felt it was about as close as a movie could possibly get to adapting that thing at all. I enjoyed it.

People bitched about the squid-ditching. People? The squid worked great . . . in a COMIC BOOK. In a movie it would've been crazy-stupid-lame. Just admit it.

hyla2 said...

Re, Sin City:

I assume you're referring to the comics, not the movie. Frank was already well out of the crazy closet by then.

Yeah, the 'I'm wacked and I'm proud' moment was Dark Knight Strikes Back. HOLY. SHIT.

Since 1986 I waited for that. W. T. F.

Diacanu said...

Re: Watchmen.
Totally agreed.

For the anal-retentive purists, there's the Motion-Comic.

Diacanu said...

Re:Re: Sin City.

I've got the first book with Marv, and yeah, that is great, but...I thought the movie nailed it.

The bit with the army of lethal hookers was a bit into batshitville...but...I was too busy drooling over Rosario Dawson, and her shiny flesh, and big chompy teeth to give a damn.

Yeah...Dark Knight Strikes

hyla2 said...

See, my problem with the Sin City movie WAS that it nailed it. TOO closely.

In my ign'ant youth, I thought that movie versions of books or comics or whatever that veered from the source material were blasphemous. That they had an obligation to be as faithful to the source as was practicible.

But Sin City the film is SO over-faithful it actually bored me. I was sitting there in the theater, all, "Ehh. Yeah, I've seen this all before. Innumerable times. On the PAGE". There was little fresh in the movie's interpretation of the books, and it bored the shit out of me. True story.

And, what's worse, because of that, when it left stuff out or, worse, changed things from how they went in the comic, it was like an insurmountable obstacle.

WHERE WERE NANCY'S TITS!? Fuck you, Alba. You wanna play a stripper? Tit-shakin's your fucking job. Pop out your girls, or fuck the fuck off.

(My wife supports that opinion 100% BY the way--that was basically my interpretation of her unbidden wrathful sentiment on the subject)

hyla2 said...

I mean, I DID like the Sin City movie. Really.

Just disappointed with the . . . the too much like the source material-ness of it.

And the lack of tits.


Diacanu said...

Hmmm...never occurred to me to DISlike it for being faithful.

I was happy to see the book move, and hear it talk, and watch it bleed.

But...I was a sucker going way back to childhood for those Marvel books with a little record to play and read along with.

And notice you didn't nitpick the inky cel shading technique.

Cuz the juggler never dropped the bowling pins.
The magician never let you see the trap door switcheroo.
They pulled it off.

It's like how everyone complained that they hated Jar-Jar's guts, but not that he looked fake.


Diacanu said...

...and at least there were Goldie titties....

hyla2 said...

No, no, the look was great. You couldn't have captured Sin City better, not with live action, anyway.

Getting miffed over how like the book it was took me by surprise, believe me. But since then I've been a lot more open to artistic interpretations when it comes to adaptations from one medium to another.

I used to be really obstinate about it, but some things HAVE to be tweaked to make them suit/serve the different medium; it's like the squid in Watchmen, so totally acceptable and awesome within the bounds of a comic book, but completely unacceptable in a live action movie (might've flown in an animated film . . . but who the hell would've funded that production!?).

Plus, if those doing the adaptation aren't going to put their own spin and creative touch on their efforts, why the hell do it at all? Y'know, aside from the moolah.

Diacanu said...

Oh, crap, forgot to mention, Kevin Bacon is in "First Class", so, speaking of "six degress...", in the crossover section, bam, Kevin Bacon, right there.

We just gotta squeeze him into a DC movie now.

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