Holy crud, haven't unloaded one of these since last August!
And a LOT has gone on!
Will we be happy again?
March 17, 2020
So, to those of you asking "will I ever be happy again? Will I ever know joy again? Will I ever laugh again?", I'd pretty much have to say "no".
Hey, I didn't want to raise false hopes.
It'll be over by August!
March 17, 2020
I heard we may have to cower in PTSD levels of terror and horror until August.
I just don't see how that's physiologically feasible.
And the update...
March 17, 2021
Well, the Trumpers lied, its been over a year now. BUT, y'know, not PTSD levels of horror. Although we are all starting to get twitchy.
Well, it WOULD have gone away in August if we had locked everything down as tight as Dr. Fauci wanted, and we had treated this like a World War II level challenge, and had free government groceries, medicine, and toiletries from the USPS and UPS for a month to help keep everyone inside.
But the Trumpers lied about August for it being gone with everything business-as-usual.
And in hindsight, we never could have locked it up that tight, even if we had had a Democrat president, because Americans are selfish, entitled, thoughtless, and stupid to the point of mass viral homicide.
I'll never forgive my shitty redneck neighbors.
Never.
I hated them before this.
Now that they have a body count?
Forgiveness and redemption aren't happening.
Fuck these wretched disgusting people.
Pre-mask days.
March 18, 2020
Still alive.
For today.
Even with all the handwashing, and bleaching the countertop, I could have it and not know it for a fucking month.
Every day is a fucking nail-biter.
Wheee.
How you guys holding up?
And the update...
March 18, 2021
This was before masks became required, and more available.
Wheee, fun times.
But Antifa!
August 12, 2017
The wrong answer to the shit going on in Virginia is instantly "but SJWs..", and/or "but Antifa...". Nope, wrong. You lose. Conversation over.
And the update...
August 12, 2020
Still going on today. "But Antifa", and "something, something, George Soros".
And then they pulled "it was Antifa!" for the capital riot.
They don't even know what these words fucking mean, it's just animal noises they make.
"I'm not perfect"
August 13, 2013
Here's another one I'm sick to death of.
"I'm not perfect", or variations thereof.
Really?
No foolin?
No one's fucking perfect, and noTHING is perfect.
The universe exists because something fucking malfunctioned.
By saying "I'm not perfect", you've said exactly nothing.
You may as well have said "water is wet".
I'm not ASKING for fucking perfect, I'm asking for you not to be an asshole.
And when you are an asshole, I expect you to own your mistake, and not fucking repeat it.
"I'm not perfect", is an admission of future apathy and laziness disguised as a plea for tolerance.
Fuck you, you ain't going to get it.
Next person who tries to iron over a sin with "I'm not perfect", gets an audible slap across the chops.
And the update...
August 13, 2018
Now I actually MISS "I'm not perfect".
Now it's morphed into "I'm a piece of absolute, glistening, fly attracting shit, and it's awesome! The president says so!".
Culminating in the capital riot.
Tell people to live down to their lowest, basest, ugliest, dumbest impulses, and tell them that shit is noble and heroic, they go for it every fucking time.
I can't sort out if average stupid people don't KNOW what ethical behaviors are, or don't CARE.
Either one is chilling as fuck.
CHUD vs SQW
August 12, 2020
Well, I wanted the opposite of SJWs to be SQWs (status quo warriors) but it looks like the internet has decided on CHUDs.
I could heroically keep saying SQWs, but then I won't be understood.
CHUDs it is.
CHUDs didn't do the capital riot.
CHUDs beat off to the capital riot in their lairs on Youtube, Reddit, Twitter, and Parlor.
The riot fuckers were all well-off white yuppie-rednecks who could afford plane tickets and campers.
Enemies of science are enemies of life.
August 28, 2017
I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it.
If you're an enemy to science, you're an enemy to the entire human race.
That may sound radical, or zealous, but if you just do the math on how many people vaccines saved in the 20th century, and how many kids those people had, every muthafucka including these muthfuckas are literally drawing every breath on this planet thanks to science.
Science is the source of our fucking existence.
An attack on science is an attack on life itself.
It's not the slightest bit an exaggeration.
*Gestures at the covid-19 death count, the capital riot, and the ruined economy*
Well?!?!?!
WELL?!?!?!?!
WEEEEELLL!!!!?????
Captain Beeble as a metaphor for existential doom.
August 28, 2019
In the old Atari game Captain Beeble, you eventually get to a set of levels where even the walls and floor are deadly to touch.
You have to hover by puffing your rocket pack, but then you can float into a wall on momentum, so you have to turn, and puff your rocket pack in the opposite direction, but then you float the other direction, and so on, so you have to puff your rocket in tightened loops to hold in place.
And that's if you want to stop for a second, you also have to kill bug-monsters with your ray-gun, dodge moving obstacles, obtain a crystal, and get it to a processing unit.
Touch a wall, floor, or ceiling, you die.
Get touched by an obstacle, you die.
Touch a bug monster, you die.
Run out of gas in your rocket, you die.
Run out of time on the main clock, you die.
Run out of time on the crystal's instability clock before making it to the processing unit, you die.
There's no life bar, one hit is death.
There are no continues, lose all 3 lives, you lose all your progress, and go back 15 levels.
Imagine having to play this game, but if you lose, you really die.
That's what going out and putting up with "normal", people feels like to me.
Other nerds and weirdos, I'm totally comfortable.
Trying to predict what will please corporate-y type people, I get that sinking, nerve jangling, doomed Captain Beeble feeling, and start literally shitting blood again.
And the update...
August 28, 2020
And now in the world of covid-19, you all share this cold, existential terror.
Welcome to my world!
How you holding up so far?
I've done 45 years of this shit.
I know a corona victim now.
August 29, 2020
Well, I finally know someone who died of the 'rona.
Back in the 90's to early 00's, my mother and grandmother had this weekly meeting of broads who told jokes, watched shows, and did crafting shit. It didn't have a name, except "the craft club".
I'd go out in the kitchen, and have a buffet feast on all the homemade snacks they'd bring.
Good times.
Well, the group floated apart after both my grandmother, and the old lady next door neighbor died.
They were the glue of the club.
Anyway, one of those other broads just died of 'rona.
Went down to fucking Florida to see her stupid son, and by the time she got down there, he had it.
Which means he let her get near him.
Hope he has nightmares of her ghost the rest of his life, stupid asshole.
You killed your mom, stupid.
Good job.
*Saddened frustrated head shake*
Adrenochrome, and QAnon.
September 11, 2020
Fun fact: you don't have to "harvest children", for adrenochrome, you can very easily synthesize it.
And it's a shitty drug anyway, it makes you all paranoid.
The myth that adrenochrome comes from dead humans, or gives you this incredible high comes from "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas", written by a known prankster bullshit artist.
QAnon is stupid at every fucking level.
One may as well make a cult/religion out of Andy Kaufman wrestling promos.
And these dipshits stormed the capital.
These are terrorists we have to take seriously.
Pa-fucking-thetic.
DHS, YSA, and other horrid post-9/11 inventions.
September 16, 2013
So, yet another mad gunman is running amok.
I always like to take these times to point out, that all this NSA, TSA, CIA freedom-grabbing shit is worthless.
The maniacs prove it.
The gunmen and bombers can kill you any time they want.
You're just not safe.
All this "security", horseshit is theater to give you the illusion of safety.
That's what you've been giving your freedom away for, an illusion.
And only for white people.
Black people always knew better.
They've been afraid of cops like you're supposed to be.
And it's not just security, it's all the other stuff.
Everything that makes your white little lives boring, because boring is "safe".
Haha! WRONG.
You could be sniped right through your kitchen window.
And here you were listening to Bach, and not having orgies. Suckers.
And the update...
September 16, 2020
Yeah, how you liking the DHS these days, huh?
Obvious reference to the Nazi stormtroopers in Portland.
The message is loud and clear, if you're black, we'll kill you for existing, if you're a white ally to blacks, we'll treat you like you're black.
Shut up, and eat your privileges sandwich, or you're a race traitor, and we'll fucking kill you.
America was never great.
What a toilet bowl.
If you think violent racist garbage is great, you're not even a lifeform to me.
You're a fucking candy wrapper on my shoe.
Fuck is wrong with you people?
September 30, 2020
There was this horrible kid I went to school with who followed me from 4th to 7th grade.
He picked his boogers and wiped them on things.
Like the class computer keyboard.
Vile little bastard.
And if you told on him, he threw tantrums, and would break shit, and ruin recess, or field trips, or any good time you tried to have, and the whole class would have to suffer.
But way worse than him, was how the hippie teachers wouldn't just properly punish him and get it over with.
They wouldn't just separate him from the class in some kind of detention, or send him home, they just gave him ineffectual finger waves, and wimpy lectures that went through both ears, or made him take piddly-shit time outs, or took lame things away like finger-paint time, or clay time.
Just meaningless non-punishment.
That's how both the impeachment, and last night's debate felt.
Y'know?
Hippie teachers using their worthless non-powers on Brian Rand.
Year after year.
Year after fucking year.
You know what you have to fucking do.
He's not a normal bad kid, step up your fucking game.
Stop waiting for your meaningless hippie structure to take hold on this goddamned special-ed case.
Like I finally got the balls to say by 7th grade, fuck is wrong with you people?
Goddamn.
Yeah, well, we finally took Trump's Play-Doh away, and he pitched the ultimate tantrum on January 6th.
And Mitch McConnell says he'd nominate the Nazi man-baby again for 2024.
Fuck is wrong with these people?
Enough.
September 30, 2020
After Jared Cushner's handling of covid, and after last night, I'm done with there being Republicans.
I'm done.
Pack the courts.
Make Puerto Rico, Washington DC, and Guam states, and give them Senators.
Abolish the electoral college.
Smash gerrymandering.
Institute mandatory voting.
Make election day a holiday so no one has to work.
Then once the Republicans are gone, tax rich people starting at 100 million, and get rid of billionaires and trillionaires.
The rich have run this planet into the ground.
Enough.
The rich have always been fascist enemies of the rest of the human race.
The Monopoly game needs to be flipped off the table.
Trump has 'rona!!!
October 2, 2020
Trump's got the 'rona!!!!
*Gets goosebumps of joy all over face and arms*
*Rubs the goosebumps and blushes*
Mmmmmm!!!
And the update the very same day...
Ope, now he's being flown to Walter Reed. *Closes eyes, lays back, and lets stress drain from body as if a white noise meditation tape were playing* Mmmmmm.. 🙂
And the update the very next day...
The rose garden party that spread all the covid through the Trump administration had the garden done up the way it looked when RBG was confirmed.
Trump even 'rona-ed himself with one last act of vindictive petty cruelty.
Fuck him, and fuck anyone who tells me to act sad.
Ain't gonna do it.
He croaks, I'm doing some Cirque du Soleil level happy dancing.
Brace yourselves.
Aw, gawd, yeah, remember how happy we all were?
Even though he didn't die, it showed, he's not an invincible super-villain, and neither were/are the shmucks around him.
If they were smart, wily, Machiavellian villains, they would have protected themselves.
But they're anti-science doofuses.
You HAVE to be an anti-science doofus to be a Republican anymore.
You have to be a delusional dimwit to be any brand of autocratic fascist swine.
That's how we'll beat them in the end.
Voted!
October 6, 2020
There, my ballot's dropped off in the dropbox.
Dad wants to go to the polls in November.
Don't know why.
Don't know what he thinks he's proving.
I got him to use the dropbox.
And the good guys won.
And the bad guys can't fucking stand that, so they're trying really hard to abolish democracy.
Maybe there was complexity and grey area before 2016, but not anymore.
You can tell the parties apart by the most literal reading of their names.
Democrats are for Democracy, Republicans aren't.
End of.
Make your choice.
"Turn 'em into a parking lot!".
October 9, 2016
The Trump mess, and the Brexit shit together keep dredging up a memory that won't go away.
I have a lot of troubling memories that haunt the shit out of me, but they're mostly too bad to talk about.
This isn't one of those.
Here we go.
It's right after 9/11.
My (relationship redacted) is alive.
I'm over his house.
He spouts the line you probably still get on your feed if you have warmonger conservative friends/relatives.
"Time to turn 'em into a parking lot".
Meaning, nuke the middle east.
Now, let's walk through that.
Say we nuked the middle east.
Setting aside the millions of innocent lives that wipes out, cuz racists don't see people "from over there", as human, Russia and China aren't going to sit still for that, the international community will condemn us, and treat us like an Ebola patient, our economy will tank, millions of our people will start to die of starvation and riots, and that's before the Russian and Chinese nukes fly our way.
So, even if you only value whitey, millions of us are gonna croak.
And even before we're nuked, the radiation from us nuking the middle east will blow back on us, and sicken millions.
End of the world, death of billions.
This is what ignorant-ass ya-fucking-hoos are casually wishing for.
Now, I processed all of this in seconds, but I boiled it down to "but then that would make us the Nazis".
And this is the part that disturbed me.
He barks back "TOO BAD!!".
And the part that got under my skin was his tone.
The anger in his voice was like if he'd caught me pissing in a baby's mouth.
Coupled with that I must be semi-retarded for not seeing something as obvious as the need to eat food.
He was morally disgusted with ME.
And all it took, to disrupt his moral compass that badly, was a little bit of fear.
And I'm afraid that's most people.
Give 'em a little bit of fear, and they buckle at the fucking knees, and drop.
And they become monsters.
How the fuck do you fix THAT with education?
Anyway, that day in 2001, I felt entirely alone on the fucking planet.
And I was stuck feeling that way for a long fucking time.
The Bush years gave me a lot to be bitter about.
I don't want a repeat if I can help it.
And the update...
October 9, 2017
Yeah, well, buckle up, buckaroo, cuz here we go.
Yeah, people need to remember that Bush was horrible too.
They're trying to re-habilitate him.
We can't let that shit happen.
As for the economic devastation that would result if we nuked the middle east, just look at what happened when one stupid little boat got stuck in the Suez Canal.
Everything ground to a halt, and its done a domino effect of months of damage to mail delivery, and Wall Street.
Fascism is a pseudo-philosophy for hot-head fucktards.
It has nothing to offer, nothing to say, and we owe it and its adherents absolutely nothing.
Republican death spiral.
October 13, 2017
I watched a thing on Frontline where Newt Gingrich openly said the 09 election of Obama threw Republicans into existential terror for the very existence of their party.
That's some loony paranoid racist shit, but it perfectly explains their behavior all the way up to now.
They couldn't stop Obama from being elected twice, but they see destroying his legacy as a matter of raw survival, and anything becomes justified.
They see the death of their party as the death of America, so hurting Americans with a horrible healthcare bill is acceptable losses in their imaginary cosmic war.
They're exactly as crazy as Muslim fundies.
And the update...
October 13, 2020
Relevant and worth bumping.
They're in a death spiral, and they want to take as many of us with them in spite.
They're Ahab tied to Moby Dick at the end.
*Gestures to January 6th, and the attack on voting rights in Georgia*
Well??
WELL!?!?!?!
WEEEEEELLL??!?!?!?!
Also, Newt Gingrich needs to be on people's lists of dangerous fascist lunatics.
I dunno how he's slithered under people's radars.
Democrat mission statement.
October 16, 2015
Okay, Democratic party, looks like you need reminding.
The rich want slaves.
Flat out.
Slaves.
It's your job to prevent them from getting them.
If you're not on board with that, fuck off.
Go be a fucking Republican.
That's not fringe, that's your mission statement.
That's why you exist.
Wake the fuck up, or leave.
And the update....
October 16, 2020
They seem to finally be on the ball. Boy did the fire under their ass have to get hot though.
January 6th seems to have gotten the fire even hotter.
Even so, people like Nancy Pelosi want to cling tenaciously to the corporatist status quo.
But, Joe Biden seems to be getting his policy ideas from Liz Warren.
My dream goal, AOC for prez by 2024 or 2028.
Republicans however, they were almost murdered too, and even almost-murder won't make them step away from fascism.
Death spiral indeed.
Another feature of fascism, they flex their biceps and pecs, and act tough, but they're slithering little cowards underneath the bluster.
Hunter Biden.
October 17, 2020
*Sigh* Hillary's e-mails was a nothing-burger, and so's the Hunter Biden thing.
Please, wake the fuck up, America.
Just once?
Just fucking once, could you not be meat puppets?
Could you please?
That'd be nice.
And Biden won!!
You mean, Americans finally learned their lesson on something!?!?
Holy shit!!
Growth is possible!!!
Revolution.
October 18, 2016
Whenever I hear people on the right or the left spout "time for a revolution", even in jest, the only image that comes to mind is me being put into a mass grave by beady-eyed inbreeds with Elmer Fud sized shotguns.
I have no romance about that shit at all.
None.
Wow, I Nostradamus-ed the shit out of that one.
Well, now that the rest of the world has seen the Elmer Fudd clownery with their own eyes, I hope that kills the romance for everyone else too.
Everyone with a higher than room temperature IQ, anyway.
Morons got an even bigger hardon for that shit.
Here's a hint: if you think "liberty" looks like an asshole in a ballcap putting his feet up on Nancy Pelosi's desk, you probably shouldn't be allowed to operate a motor vehicle.
Or be let near a computer keyboard.
Or be allowed to procreate.
Probably ought to have a 24/7 nurse following you around shoving pills down your throat.
Hope starvation.
October 18, 2020
I had one of those realistic fake-wake-up dreams where the Democrats figured out out to sabotage the Coney Barrett confirmation by changing how many votes it took to elect her somehow.
I actually had to turn on CNN to see if it was real.
Nope, they were gloomily slogging through covid death numbers.
My brain is starved for hope.
It's eating itself cuz of the malnutrition.
The party Trump got infected at was for her, and everyone got it BUT her.
She's fucking cartoon invincible.
*Gloomy sigh*
Stomp the Fashys.
October 20, 2020
They don't have neo-Nazis on the news to give the "counter-argument", for holocaust remembrance day.
They don't have Satanists on for Christmas.
They don't have the Grand Wizard of the Klan on for Martin Luther King day.
There's already gatekeeping in our culture that we all agree to.
The fashys can all go to Bitchute and Parlor to spread their shit.
They can't have the mainstream anymore.
Fuck 'em.
Trumpism's killed a quarter million people.
They had their time in the sun.
They blew it.
Wow, quarter million at the time, it's over half million now.
"Unlimited free speech" is a lie.
Everywhere it's tried, fascists just come in and bully everyone good away, and then no one but them has free speech.
And if it's just fascists, it's the opposite of free speech, cuz in their ideal world, they'll murder you for wrong thinking.
That's why fascists bawl like little babies when you install any kind of rules.
They don't really give a fuck about "liberty" they just want to ruin everything they lay their grubby hands to.
And they really squawk like tantrum kids at the toy store if you de-platform them.
They have free speech a million other places, but they feel entitled to the big media bullhorns.
Entitlement's a big feature of fascism.
As they scream about the "entitlement" of people on welfare.
"Fuck you darkies and poors, those goodies are MINE!!".
Anyway, Facebook and Twitter finally learned the lesson after January 6th.
Or, at the very least, they're putting on a show of it to save their bottom line.
And Amazon yanked Parlor's servers away, and every app store dumped their app.
When a business tells THEM to fuck off instead of gays who want wedding cakes, their "libertarian" horseshit goes right down the toilet.
Libertarians don't exist, it's all just different gradations of fascism.
Boy, did I ever learn that shit the hard way.
Trump has made everyone 12 years ago me!!
October 21, 2009
Having one of my really bad days.
Hate the shrinking amount of horrible choices for my doomed hopeless future, hate the system, hate the glassy eyed dupes that keep it running, want to kill everything that moves.
Can't explain it, woke up this way.
And the update....
October 21, 2020
Now everyone feels like this!
All it took was one little psychopath president treating the country like one of his abused wives.
And the Nazis delighted in our misery.
They want everyone to suffer as much as they do all the time.
But their suffering isn't based on anything real, it's just their narcissistic entitlement being violated by having to actually compete with other people instead of having it all handed to them.
That's what all the bawling about immigrants is about.
Fuck them.
Let 'em cry harder.
Piss-babies.
Bill Green is a Maine-traitor.
October 21, 2020
Oh, and speaking of Maine and politics, Bill Green is supporting Susan Collins.
For context for non-Mainers, this would be like...if Dan Rather came out for Trump.
Bill Green was our big news guy since I was a kid.
He was never partisan before.
Now he's come out as...well, trash.
I wonder how much his soul was worth. I bet it was cheap.
I'll give the rest of his ex-channel credit, they washed their hands and feet of him with a "his opinions do not reflect the views of the rest of the station..." message.
Time freeze.
October 21, 2020
Y'know....I just wish I could time freeze myself in November 2nd, and grow old and die inside the time freeze.
I don't want to know.
I don't even want to know.
And I don't want to see days past November 2nd.
I'd miss you all, but I'd never get curious enough to turn the time freeze off ever.
You'd see me blink out, and blink back in as a skeleton in a chair.
And a bunch of food would be missing.
I knew Biden would officially win, but I was gloomily certain the Repugs would find a way to steal it.
They tried like a motherfucker, but thankfully, Trump and Giuliani were morons.
And Trump was moronic enough to pick Giuliani.
And everyone in the contested states did their goddamned jobs.
Breaking the okey-doke 1.
October 26, 2016
A phrase that's made a comeback this election cycle that I'm already sick of.
"Job creator".
Bruce Poliquin has it in all his ads, and they play at every commercial break.
It tells me nothing.
I despise language that's just mouth sounds that tell me nothing.
What SORT of jobs?
Do they have living wages?
A drug kingpin is a job creator.
A pimp is a job creator.
You don't want your kids being hookers though, do ya?
Or is the middle class that far gone?
"Oh, rape me, robber-baron! Rape me all you want! Just keep me from being homeless! Here, here's my daughter too!".
Maybe it is that bad.
I suspect there may in fact be people who if congress legalized child porn, and a child pornographer ran for governor, and his ads called him "a job creator", people would pull the fucking lever for him.
I used to think there were limits, but boy has this shitty year showed me different.
And the update...
October 16, 2020
Finally stopped hearing this one.
Cuz Trump fucked the economy so badly, and the rich did fuck-all but crack the whip harder, and scream into the bullhorn harder, and try to bribe congress harder.
No one but the most brain damaged is buying it anymore.
Is the American okey-doke finally busted?
Boy, I hope so.
Breaking the okey-doke 2
October 26, 2020
Speaking of the American okey-doke, that documentary I saw on the NXIVM (nexium) cult showed that one of the ways cults block your critical faculties is to keep you constantly, constantly, constantly occupied with meaningless activities and busywork.
Well, that's America and everyone's dumb little jobs, isn't it?
Notice how everyone got all racially woke and socialist once the employment machine came smashing down?
HMMM!!!!
What a coinkydink!!
HMMM!!!!
Yeah.
Welcome to outside the Matrix, former normies.
Been waiting for ya.
3 days til doomsday.
October 31, 2020
3 more days. Feels like being marched to an execution.
Can't believe there are actually people excited for Tuesday.
Are you people on heroin?
The optimists were right for a change!! 😃
Ranked choice.
November 2, 2020
Every state needs to copy Maine, and get ranked choice voting.
1. It neuters the power of the third party assholes.
Their second choice is typically Democrat, they just want to feel special and important by being allowed to say "yeah, but I hate you for not being my unicorn though! Nyeaaahh!!".
Except now, when their third party bullshit loses, it bumps down to choice 2, and we capture those votes into the system instead of them being toilet paper.
2. It damn near kicks the electoral college in the dick without having to outright abolish it.
Although it still should be anyway.
3. Republicans hate it. Anything they hate is usually good.
Election night.
November 3, 2020
Well, here we go.
Today's the day.
He SHOULD lose.
America hates his guts, and we've got record turnout.
But the electoral college sucks.
Hoping the real will of the people gets through all the traps is like floating paper boats past Pennywise's gutter hoping they get by.
As said above, he tried like a motherfucker to steal it, and then he tried to get the Pentagon to declare martial law, and then he had rednecks do the assault, and then they failed pathetically, and then he folded like a sissy, and sold out the rednecks.
And the stupid rednecks were genuinely SURPRISED by that!
And the rednecks are being turned in by family members.
And the Twitter Nazis are bawling about that.
What's the matter?
You guys like blood turning on blood when it's LGBT kids getting thrown out on the streets.
Why, it's like you're hypocrites about every single value you claim to hold!
Now I hope the lawsuits tear Trump to confetti.
Trump's titles.
November 10, 2020
Calling Trump "president", sill makes my bile rise after 2 years.
If I have to give him a title, I'm just gonna call him either "WWE wrestling villain", or "bad 80's shock comedian".
And the update...
November 10, 2020
I'm thinking now "disgraced and humiliated Fox personality", or "covid super-spreader".
Christmas 2020.
November 24, 2020
Look, 2011, my mother was in the hospital near death, and it was Christmas time, and we just didn't have Christmas.
Just didn't have it.
I opened the Amazon packages as they came (she ordered my shit before she got sick), and we didn't even bother with the ritual of saving them in a pile for later, or wrapping them.
I got no "yay!", feeling out of opening them.
We had bigger shit to worry about.
Like, y'know, if we had to start considering funeral options.
The universe didn't break for lack of Christmas.
Santa didn't plop dead from the sky.
We resumed Christmases from 2012 onward.
Nothing happens when you miss a Christmas.
Nothing.
You're a little sad, but you fucking get over it.
It's kind of like when you're a kid in school, and get sick on field trip day.
There'll be another one.
My 2011 is everyone's 2020.
You've got bigger shit to worry about.
Yep, and selfish pig Americans turned Thanksgiving and Christmas into super-spreader events.
They got that quarter-million death toll up over the hump to a full half-million.
Congratulations.
But, y'know, now we know who the plague rats and Trump-fascists are.
Anyone who has a "precious holiday memory" of 2020, they're guilty.
Make them show off their favorite present, and then break it.
Even if it's a fucking car.
Macy's 2020
November 26, 2020
Well, that Macy's parade was exactly as awkward and weird as I thought it would be.
Yep.
Audience was cleared out.
Reporter commentary was Zoomed.
Smiles were plastered on, but it was somber.
Big cloud of "Deliverance" level denial over the whole thing.
This year's might be a bit more normal now that the vaccines are rolling out.
Fuck insecurity.
November 28, 2013
I can tell you from hard won personal experience, insecurity is just a waste of fucking time.
What standard aren't you living up to?
What society says?
Society sucks!
Society is made out of people, and people suck.
The nicest people you think you know will stab you in the neck with a shiv fashioned from a toothbrush during the zombie apocalypse.
You're the only person you can count on, and you're the only resource you have.
You may as well fucking like yourself.
And the update...
November 28, 2020
Boy, did the MAGAs prove this shit, huh?
Our own neighbors and family members turned out to be full-force swastika kissing Nazis.
These are the people who taught us "morals".
These are the people who beat us over the heads to value ourselves and others by bank account size.
And they'll bludgeon you in a Wal-Mart over a fucking surgical mask.
I hope no nerdy people on Earth are beating themselves up anymore.
The world fucking lied to you.
It lied.
Top to bottom.
You're free.
You're free.
If nothing else good comes out of this Hell, I hope it's that.
MAGA bootlickers.
November 29, 2017
Anyone who defends a corporation's right to exploit people (as if they get to be in on it somehow) ceases to be a human being in my eyes.
Just giving you the heads up on that.
And the update...
November 29, 2020
We've seen the MAGAs willing to die of covid, and thinking it's patriotic.
The bootlicking is bottomless.
Hey, if you fools were gonna die of covid anyway, may as well have done a big sit-in union protest.
What are they gonna do, shoot you?
You're willing die, remember?
Die for something that means something.
Like bringing Jeff Bezos to his knees.
Last I checked, the American flag isn't a dollar bill.
Religion and the virus.
January 1, 2014
"How can you be good without God?".
Whoa, wait a minute, muthafucka, hold up.
First of all, how can you be good WITH God?
The first question just lazily assumes that to be a solved problem.
It isn't.
How does the naked fiat of an invisible sky giant make a moral statement objectively true?
Walk me through the philosophical logic of that one first before we can even get the rest of the discussion started.
If I just go along with your assumption, I'm playing your game, and um, no thanks to that.
It's your premise, you back it up.
And the update...
January 1, 2020
Religion spread corona. Debate over. Forever. We're done. Next topic.
Typhoid Mary states.
January 29, 2013
If Typhoid Mary could be locked away for the public health, surely anti-vaxxers can be locked up.
I mean, aren't they endangering far more people than Typhoid Mary ever dreamed of?
Discuss.
And the update...
January 29, 2021
...or we could just wall away the red states.
With a cask of amontillado for their trouble and inconvenience.
(Edgar Allen Poe deep cut)
Texas.
February 23, 2010
*Peers through my alterna-scope at the timeline containing the burning shit mounds that are all that are left of human civilization in anarcho-capitalism land*
Yeah, fuck the teabaggers.
Fuck 'em.
Up the ass.
With a red rubber dick.
And the update...
February 23, 2021
You don't need an alterna-scope anymore. It's Texas.
(Reference to the collapse of their electrical grid because they weren't prepared for a rough winter, because their utilities are corporatized the way libertarians want)
Texas, where Storm-fucking-Rucker lives.
Did I mention fascists are fuckin' stupid?
I did?
Good.
Death toll.
March 1, 2020
Even if we assume the half million accurately accounts for all the covid deaths, and no one is cooking the books, I'm gonna guess the spinoff deaths bring it to about 2-3 million.
Y'know, the heart attacks and strokes from people scared of hospitals, the husbands and wives that got sick of each other, and killed their spouses, the teen drug overdoses, the suicides, the starvation, the freezing, the Darwin award shit from people being bored, and inventing stunts.
Y'know, 3 million's probably too low.
I think we've got 4 million carcasses off of this.
The media won't tell it though.
They don't want to add to the suicide pile.
TP trip 1
March 13, 2020
Whelp, no TP at the grocery store, or dollar store. I'm boned.
And the update...
March 13, 2021
I found some at a Target three towns over with their store locator thing-a-majiggy.
We got there just in time to get their last two 18 packs.
Me and dad split up to be separate customers to dodge their purchase limit.
It got us through the couple months when things were rough.
We were almost out at the time too, I shudder to think of what would have happened if I hadn't done the detective work.
It's times like that I feel like a God-man who can cure a fucking rainy day.
I've been pretty damned unbeatable.
So far...
TP trip 2
March 14, 2020
36 rolls! I'm saved! Phew, all right then!
And the update...
March 14, 2021
THAT's when I took the TP trip.
Yeah, this is when the pandemic really began for me.
They weren't telling us to mask up yet, but I was avoiding people.
Even with masks, you have to do fucking dances to dodge the meatheads.
This shit is finally coming to an end!!
March 22, 2021
There! My folks have their first Pfizer shot!
Pinched nerve saga.
March 28, 2021
Today is the 1 year anniversary of the start of that pinched nerve in my neck & shoulder that lasted for two months and two weeks.
April 27 was when I thought it might be a covid symptom, and Sharon called to make sure I wasn't dead.
Ahhhh, good times.
Fun wacky times in our doom plague.
Maybe next week?!?!?
April 2, 2021
Maine keeps bumping up the eligibility dates, I could get my first vaccine jab as soon as next week!
1 comment:
BTW, the new Netflix comedy "Bad Trip" is okay. You've probably heard it's the funniest movie of the year but it's probably a little too derivative of "Borat"--it's basically that movie without the accents. It's worth a look though!
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