Thursday, April 22, 2021

Cats & chickens, Part 5: Clovis 3.



Yet another one I haven't updated since last summer.


Clovis the recycler.

September 24, 2020

Whelp, Clovis eats his puke. 
Never had one of THOSE cats before.


Clovis's special work.

September 20, 2020

Well, Clovis had a productive day. 
Talked to chickens. 
Flashed his balls at the neighborhood out my bedroom window. 
Got himself accidentally trapped in the bathroom closet. 
Ate a moth. 
Good day's work.


Clovis ruins posters.

September 11, 2020

Goddammit, Clovis! 
Even my posters aren't safe! 
I turned around, and they were dangling, and mangled, and ripped off their tacks. 
Apparently, he was trying to get a moth clinging to the wall, so he jumped up, missed, grabbed the posters, and rode them down like a pirate riding down a sail on his knife. 
I've never seen anything like this little beast!


Faithfullyyy!!

September 17, 2020

Clovis strikes these beautiful Zoolander face poses where it looks like he's going to break out into "Faithfully", by Journey. 
But, if I gave him a microphone stand, and an audience, and a magic spell to give him speech, it would probably just be "(creepy child voice) I will bite you!!", *attacks the audience*


Clovis eating bugs.

September 26, 2020

Clovis eating a moth is like a vampire seduction- 
(As Clovis) *Pats the moth* 
*Lick-kisses the moth* 
You're my little friend! 
I love you, you know. 
I love you. 
It's going to be okay. 
You have to go live inside my tummy now! 
Bye, bye, my friend! 
Bye! Here we go! 
In you go! 
Om, nom nom. 
*Gulp*

I don't have the heart to tell him he's turning his little bug friends into poop.


Clovis's teeth.

September 29, 2020

Clovis has his big-boy fangs. 
I never noticed him losing the baby ones. 
Kitties change fast.


Clovis outdoors.

November 9, 2020

Well, Clovis got outside, and I didn't know it for over an hour. 
Good thing he's a good boy, and stayed in his yard. 
And hung out with the chickens, apparently.


Clovis likes chicken.

November 22, 2020

Whelp Clovis is a poultry kitty. 
He just had a blob of chicken from dad's Chinese food. 
Wembley was only a fish kitty. 
And it had to be stinky fish. 
He didn't acknowledge haddock or salmon. 
We haven't found much Clovis won't eat. 
He's the opposite of finicky.


1, 2, 4, 8 cats.

December 18, 2020

The crazy cat-ladies have it all wrong. 
All you need is the 2 cats. 
Working in shifts, getting under your feet at invisible teleport speed, and it's just like you've got 8. 
Just as irritating. 
Saves on food and litter too.

And the update...

December 18, 2020

Or one Clovis, who's equal to four cats.


Clovis and the Far Side.

December 27, 2020

Clovis knocked down a bunch of shit in my parent's room. 
They were both asleep in their recliners, so dutiful son that I am, I picked it all up. 
In the pile, there was a Waldenbooks bag with something in it. 
I'm nosey, so I peeked. 
It was the 2002 final Far Side pull-off calendar. 
I always got those for Christmas, but I didn't get that one. 
It was clearly mine, and Ma had forgotten to give it to me. 
I took it, and tucked it away in my closet. 
That might be worth something someday. 
Thanks, Clovis. 
Your naughtiness helped me for a change. 
Good boy. 
You're a good boy.


More Clovis pics.

December 23, 2020

Better baby Clovis pics from dad's phone. 
He's pretty much grown by now, I gotta take some new ones.





Clovis discovers puberty.

January 1, 2021

*Snicker* just caught Clovis well...there's no other way to describe it accurately...blowing himself. 
He was sucking away down there like he was washing his pants extra hard, but...he pulled his head back, and his little pink turkey thermometer was out. 
Whelp...it's not like he has hands to jerk himself off with, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. 
*Laughs*
They grow up so fast!


Crunchy Clovis.

January 22, 2021

Clovis is crunchy. 
When he stretches really hard, either his elbows, or his hips make a knuckle crack sound, and it's pretty loud too. 
Crunchy-kitty!


Crusty Clovis.

March 2, 2021

Clovis's forehead fur is crusty, and he smells like a pancake when I sniff him, and there's a paper plate with syrup and pancake boogers on it in the trash. I think I solved this mystery. Everyone, to the study, so I can prance around holding a pipe to really drag this out.


Clovis the pisser.

March 9, 2021

Well...son of a bitch. 
I've never had a cat that was a house pisser, but Clovis just pissed in my room. 
Luckily, it was on a pile of old clothes that don't fit me so I could just throw all that shit out. 
He also weirdly tried to "bury" it by knocking books over onto it, and got the books all pissy. 
Luckily, they all had their dust jackets, and I could just peel off and throw those. 
I can't trust the little bastid anymore though. 
Anyone know if lopping his balls off will cure this? 
We were supposed to ages ago, but with Covid, and snowstorm, after snowstorm, after snowstorm, we've been trapped. 
Hopefully, spring has sprung, and we can get shit done.


Clovis getting fixed 1.

April 6, 2021

Whelp, Clovis is getting his nuts snipped tomorrow. 
And just in time, he pissed in my room again. 
Same spot as last time. 
He went back to the scene of the crime to sniff the puddle, so he's easy to catch in the act.
A pity, his little pom-poms are adorable. 
Now it's gonna be an empty pouch. 
If he weren't house-pissing, I'd leave them alone. 
But his boy-hormones make his piss stink, and make him wanna mark territory in the first place. 
Gotta be done.


Clovis getting fixed 2.

April 7, 2021

Poor Clovis is home from his nut snipping. 
His sack is shaved, and red and raw looking. 
Hopefully by next week it'll be looking better.

The redness went away after the first day, and now he's already got fuzz on 'em again.
Deflated though.
He looks like a cocktail shrimp down there.
Poor little fella.


Next up, the last of the Wembley & Digby stories!


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