Superhero Flicks, Part 16.5: The Leftovers

So, here's some I kept expecting to slip into other categories down the line, and they just didn't fit in, and kept getting pushed down.
Or...I just plain forgot 'em, or didn't know about 'em.
But, mostly that first one.


The Matrix Series

The films-

*Grits teeth* oh, ALL RIGHT!!

Neo can dodge bullets, and fly, and all that shit, so, I gotta count him in....

The history-

*Shrug* didn't like 'em.
They didn't do a damned thing for me.
Like X-Files, it's one of those cultural phenomena that just passed me by.

Latest one is "Dancing With The Stars", you can explain to me all day why that's supposed to interest me, and I still wouldn't get it.

WHY did I loathe the Matrix?
...it would take up this whole post to really pick it apart properly...but the biggest ingredient...the pose.
The preening Gen-X pose.
Everything that made me want to vomit about the 90's came to a head, and sprayed its puss with these flicks.
And then, it made me extra sick to see geek culture go down that path of wanting to BE these posers.
It's like my Tick story (see here) first they become another exclusionary clique, then they turn around, and envy "the cool kids".
Fuck off.
Real losers are those that loathe their own individuality.
The fandom of this mess did so with abandon.

Animatrix, however, I really dug.

Here's my review of that again (from here).

The Animatrix

Okay, THIS is Heavy Metal 2!

This is fucking great, and I fucking HATE "The Matrix".
See? Decent writers and artists can make anything good.

So, yeah, if you're one of the rare people like myself who despised "The Matrix", but loves quality adult animated anthologies, check this out.
The prequel/flashback at the beginning gives you the whole lowdown on "The Matrix", so you don't even have to see the original film.
And then the main characters pop up, and several new characters go through similar story motions as Neo.
So...it's Matrix remade good.
Ignore fuckin' Keanu, and just get this.
And again, pretend it's Heavy Metal 2.

That should be "remade well".
Ah, well...

Yeah, Animatrix just shut up, and told me a story without the "hip", bullshit.


Hanna

The film-

Fuck! Forgot to add this to "The Estrogen Brigade".

Ah, well, that one was getting up into the 70's as it was.
Biggest entry ever, I think....

The history-

Haven't seen it, but it comes highly recommended by misanthropes, and misfits, so...it's on my "to watch", list.


Chronicle

The film-

Written by Max Landis, son of John Landis (he of "American Werewolf In London", and "Schlock").

From the ads...I gather some teens get superpowers, and do what teenagers would really do with them.
Interesting...

The history-

Haven't seen it, will have to.


Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

The film-

Yep, this is out now.
Craig Ferguson is all rarin' to go.

The history-

See my old Ghost Rider review here.


Three Musketeers (2011)

The film-

Goofed on this already here.

The history-

Yeah, see, this is the other thing I hate that The Matrix did.
All this bullet-time, style-over-substance glossy bullshit.

Your fault, Matrix fans, you told Hollywood it could get away with it.
This is what you get.
Reap your reward.
Take your medicine.


Okay, that's the new Hollywood stuff, now onto some leftover b-movies...


Six-String Samurai

The film-

Eh, it's fun....
Has a lot in common with "Bubba Ho-Tep", including the same composer.

IMHO, "Bubba...", is the superior film, hands down.

The history-

Oh, man, did Ain't It Cool News ever go apeshit over this one.

This was the first and last good flick they steered me towards.
I later abandoned it (AICN) for being a shitty personality cult full of tedious morons, and even more tedious board nannies.

Baby-shit brown, it all went to hell when they turned the background baby-shit brown....
I warned 'em, they didn't listen.

Dark Horizons, people, Dark Horizons.


Matthew Blackheart: 
Monster Smasher

The film-

So...I guess it's trying to be Captain America meets Evil Dead,...I guess...

They rebuild a dead soldier into a Frankenstein-Monster, except he looks like himself, then he's frozen, and un-frozen in the 21st century, and fights monster/demon things.

It was all right.
It gets its history terribly wrong... anachronisms out the assholio, but, hey, this kind of movie is what it is, whaddya want?

The history-

Well....I probably would have really dug it when I was fourteen....*shrug*


Super Capers

The film-

Ehhh, looks a bit on the schlocky side, but it's got some nifty cameos.

Clint Howard, Adam West, and Michael Rooker from "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer", is the judge/villain.

See the trailer below.

The history-

Somebody's Hero

The film-

As far as I can tell, a lock, stock, and barrel redo of "Hero At Large", except the guy dates a single mom, so there's a kid involved.

Cuz, you can't do a "family", pic with a single guy, without him stumbling into a ready-made family, they think people are that dumb.
Whatever.

Also, starring a guy from some show I don't watch.

The history-

N/A


Big Bug Man

The film-

Doesn't even exist.

But, it was supposed to have Brendon Frasier, and Marlon Brando, but Brando died, and this thing has been in development-hell ever since.

The history-

N/A


Behind The Mask

The film-

From 1992, a modern day 30's style serial done in color, and in 3-D.

The history-

Haven't seen, but I like the idea of it.


Cornman: 
American Vegetable Hero

The film-

Someone's clearly trying to be Troma.
I can dig it.

See the trailer...

The history-

Up next: Leftovers, The Furriners.