I hate the bastards.
Did some douchebag write in to Tyson, Swanson, and Hungry Man to speak for everyone, and say we all loved the brownie?
Cuz, I can't escape the fucking things anymore.
Pan across the freezer section, brownie, brownie, brownie.
They all got a fucking brownie.
There was one Hungry Man I liked best, because the grub was good, and there was no fucking brownie.
Beer batter chicken, and cheesy fries.
No fuckin' brownie to be seen.
Well, they ruined it.
Now, it's beer batter chicken, corn, potatoes, and a fuckin' brownie.
They love foisting that fucking brownie on ya.
Why do I hate the brownie?
For one, it fucking sucks.
It's just this tiny little glob of fucking cake batter they squirt in there, like they're doing you a fucking favor, and it just tastes like cheap cocoa mix.
But, mostly, it's messy, and a pain in the ass.
Every third one, the factory machine over-shoots, and gets batter into the corn, and you have this frigging corn brownie thing going on, so, that's nasty.
Or else, the corn jumps the partition into the brownie.
Either way, you're getting a fucking corn brownie half the time.
You just gloomily accept it.
And you have to perform micro-surgery on the plastic wrap to accommodate this fucking "brownie".
"Remove plastic from meat, potatoes, and brownie, make slit over plastic over corn".
Fuck you.
Assholes.
Who writes this shit?
They should kill themselves.
Oh, and this is the best part, the cooking instructions.
They want you to nuke this thing for 4 minutes, REMOVE THE BROWNIE, SET IT ASIDE, and then nuke the rest of the meal for another 3 minutes.
Are you shitting me?
Yeah, remove a half-liquid steaming dough glob, put it on a paper plate, and SAVE it, like it's a precious desert my belly is just rumbling for.
It's a fucking dough glob, and anywhere you put it is gonna be a mess, and half of it is gonna stick to whatever you put it on, and have to be fork-scraped.
And it ALWAYS crumbles apart into flakes, and a blinding steam cloud, so so much for transporting it anyway.
And do they actually want you to put it BACK IN the fucking TV dinner when you're done nuking the sumbitch?
I just eat the stupid thing.
It's only 2 fork-fulls.
Seriously, 2 fork-fulls.
Oh no, now I've ruined lunch by having DESERT first!
*Eye roll*
How will my appetite recover?
You spoil me!
So yeah, you gotta stop midstream, scoop the TV dinner out of the microwave with a potholder, eat the shitty brownie, shove it back in, nuke it some more.
Pain in the ass.
It's like a speed-bump for your brain every time.
I bet it's slowly killing me.
There shouldn't come a point in simple food preparation when you're moaning "I don't want to be DOING thiiiis!", with a tinge of existential despair.
It just shouldn't be.
So, when I see that fucking brownie in the dinners in the freezer section my mind reads it as "annoyance glob!".
But like I said, you can't get away from 'em now.
Some stupid asshole told 'em it was their favorite fucking thing in LIFE, and now all the dinners are ruined with this shitty brownie.
But, I gotta eat these fucking things, they're cheap.
It's this, or get shit-breath and heartburn from Chef-Boyardee.
Life is a nightmare.
It really is.
I'm tellin' ya.
Man, the contempt that must just pour out of the sadistic son of a bitch who thought up the TV dinner brownie.
I bet you can see his aura, and it has green Halloween skulls in it.
You know what the fucking brownie is?
It's "let them eat cake", for the new millennium.
Yeah, they have a rhesus monkey squat into your TV dinner.
They want to see how much we'll fucking take.
Turns out a lot.
Christ, they actually got people to figure out how much taxes YOU owe them, do it like homework, and mail it in to them.
Well, the brownie is the last straw.
There has to be a revolution.
Oh...yeah...the new government would just be some Nazi shit after the militia nuts had their way.
And the militia nuts wouldn't even put a brownie in their TV dinner.
They'd probably bring back that shitty apple pie that's a squirt of hot apples over crumbs.
And the apples have no cinnamon and sugar.
And they'd expect you to set it aside too.
Bastids.
Well...it could always be worse, couldn't it?
Still...fucking brownie...shouldn't have to live like this..*mumble grumble*..brownie..*mumble*..fuck..*grr*
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The brownie in TV dinners.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Dear God,
I hate the brownies, please sell me some decent TV dinners without the stupid fucking brownie.
PS - Are you trying to make me cook for myself now? Because I did and wasted enough food to feed a whole country. You can't seriously cook for one person... without spending more time, and money than just going to a restaurant.
You want to try something funny? DON'T remove the brownie after 4 minutes. It darn near catches fire. I have thrown out the brownie for years. It's like a drop of syrup: touch it, and it spreads all over the kitchen.
It is now the year of the brownie and everything else crappy, 2020, and these comments are from 2011. So at least 9 years later they are still putting in that nasty brownie!!! Does anyone even like it? Still just as nasty in 2020 but then again so are so many other things in 2020. Was the nasty brownie a prophecy of things to come? LOL seriously though, they need to lose that awful brownie. It's horrible.
Sorry haha I frickin love them. I wish I could find a copy cat recipe for them in fact, which is how I stumbled upon this complaint page. I will say this though, brownie may be my fav part but dayum the Mexican hungry man has that pudding that also is the bomb. Sorry you guys don't like it but the brownie is the ONLY reason I buy mine lol #sorrynotsorry
That's how I found this too!! I want a recipe for it so badly!!
Me coming looking for a recipe too. I want a brownie the size of the whole banquet meal tray🤣
🤣🤣 looking for a copycat recipe myself. I had to read this and sure am glad i did 🤣🤣 i laughed so hard
Post a Comment