Heck Backlash: Garbage Man (In Space!!).

Journal Entry 1.

Just testing out the new datapad.
Ah, hey, voice recognition works, that rarely happens.

Um, well, this is Hack Backlash, garbage man.

I'm in space. Space garbage man I guess you'd call me.
Sounds like a crappy comic book or something though.
Don't need no illusions of heroism on my back, even in my fantasy life.
I'm just a garbage man.

That's right, garbage man.

(Mocking nasal tone)
Sanitation engineeeer!

Bullshit, I'm a garbage man.

I collect everyone's nasty shit, and throw it in the nearest star.

The Nazi assholes of the Imperium, the Commie assholes of the Association, I don't care for what they do, and they turn their nose up at what I do.

Everything works out just fine.

Real copasetic like.

Picking up a load of something for the Imperium as I speak actually.
Long as it's sealed up good, I don't ask.


Journal Entry 2.

Well, that unpleasantness is over with.

Tst, Imperium assholes.
45 minutes of clearance procedures before I even lay eyes on the trash.
Yeah, that's right, it's really me, idiots.
Same as last fucking week.
Corrupt paranoid cocksuckers.

Not that the Association is much better.
Their fascism just has a yellow smiley face on it.

Once I'm well clear of Imperium space, I'll fire up the scanners.

Got a little of everything tucked away in the cargo bay in special scanner proof compartments.
Quantum interference scanners, neutrino dispursal sweepers, virtual particle decay readers, the works.

Not supposed to have 'em really.
Need special licenses and shit that only confirmed uber-loyal indoctrinated to death toadies can get near, but I learned real quick not to trust Imperium shitheads.
They'll put a level 8 biohazard in wooden crates just to save some fatass manager from fixing his paperwork.
They don't give a fuck if a guy like me coughs up baby lizards and croaks, so I got me the scanners for protection through....other channels.

Good thing too, had all kinds of shipments turn out to be something else.

Like the time they had these orange monster fetuses in just level 1 biohazard jars.

They were just fucking stunned fer chrissakes, they woulda woke up and busted out in just an hour.

I mean, good thing I scanned, I woulda had my guts eaten out or something.
As it was, my (also illegal BTW) restrainment field barely held long enough for me to make it to the nearest sun.

Sons of bitches.

No one an independant contracter like me can bitch to though.

Just gotta haul enough shit to buy the next upgrades and kits to keep 'er going.

Fired up the quantum inerference scan while I chattered to myself here.

Data's coming in now.

.....huh.


Journal Entry 3.

It just doesn't make any goddamned sense.

Cross referenced quantum interference and neutrino sweep 3 times to be sure.

Papers and bits of cloth.

No rads, no bacteria, no virii.

Yet it's in level 8 biohazard crates.

Anything living that'd need that level of precaution would make the scanners jump for sure.

And radiation, I don't care what exotic bullshit particle they're coming up with, to be dangerous, would have to disturb matter in some way that'd show up on quantum interference.
If it doesn't bump into matter in our universe, then it's so subspacey and bullshitty it might as well not exist, and therefore by my book doesn't.

Nothing.

Not an atom out of place after 3 scans.

Exactly what the image on the screen says.
Papers and cloth.

And that's the weird thing too.
Not circuit weave, or holocrome, but real paper and fabric.
Actual biomass.
Old Earth stuff.

And it's in level 8 biohazard crates.

And this clearly ain't no beurocratic fuckup by someone's idiot nephew on his first day on the job, those are precision molecular welds.

They MEANT to put this stuff in there.

It just doesn't make any goddamned sense.

Must be the ideas on the papers.
But level 8 biohazard?
I don't get it.

Screw it, I don't give a shit what they say.

All the same, there might be a warning for some danger on 'em or something, I'll run the images through character and image recognition, and store it to read later.

Run a search on the usual keywords to be sure.

It'll probably just be some scandalous pamphlets telling teenagers how to jack off or something.

...but level 8 crates?

I don't give a shit about their political goings on, or what they or their respective rebels say and do, but damn...why is that part about the crates creeping me out so much?

Maybe it's the....sincerity in those welds.

People that care that much about something so sneaky and weird scare me.
I mean, the whole damned Imperium gives me that spiders up the arm feeling, but this is above the radar even for them.

I've thought about this too much already.
The ship can't get to Viniculai-12 fast enough.

I should have just done surface scans.
But no, those monster fetuses have made me nosey.
Mental note for next time.
No more nosey.
Just picky up and dumpy.

Hmm, that text scan I ran just dinged, and that creepy feeling has gotten worse.
It's telling me to close my eyes, turn off the monitor, and reboot.

I'm probably not going to listen.

Dammit.


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

...and of interest to history buffs, after being closed for several years due to low attendance and financial problems, the Old Earth Museum is being permanently closed.

BUT, fear not citizens! The contents are being moved to a new government funded facility on Capital Planet.

Relics and documents from the history of Old Earth will still be available for viewing.
Our entire precious human history from ancient times up to and including the seeds of our own Imperium.

Seen here are the fleet of escorted freightors headed towards Capital Planet.
Godspeed, fellas.

And now, Stacey with weath....


Journal Entry 4.

Hmmm, running word scans, nothing about masturbation.
Nothing sensitive about bombs or biowarfare agents.
Thank God, I don't wanna know any state secrets.
None of my fucking business.
Well, this whole matter isn't really.
But still, it might be my skin.
Gotta check.
These willies mean something.
Had willies when it turned out to be monster fetuses.
Just gotta check.

Don't read it deep, just skim for danger words.

Nope, no solarite, no caborite, no gateways to funky demon dimensions caused by invisible Martian cornflakes...nope, nope,...

Well jeez, nothing scary.
What's the big woop?

Ah Hell, I cycled through everything dangerous, now I might as well give it an eyeball skim.

We, blah, blah blah, perfect blah, blah, insure blah, blah, defence, blah, blah, Welfare,

Maybe that's it.

Article. I.
Section 1.

Ah geez, my eyes are glazing over already.

All legislative blah, blah, blah...

Section. 2.
Clause 1: blah blah, blah, yadda yadda, and it goes on...Taxes shall be apportioned blah, blah, ruffy-stuffy, Representatives, blah, blah, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one,....

Never heard of those planets.

Maybe that's it.
No, Old Earth didn't have extra-solar space travel.
At least not in the time of paper.
Hmph.

This is it? This the big dirty secret they had to weld up in metal crates?

It just doesn't make any goddamned sense.

Meh, I'll dump it to the datapad and pour over it later.
Might be some stuff about doin' it reverse cowgirl hidden in old-timey language that'll be worth a laugh.

Oh, fucking finally!
Viniculai-12 finally crawled up on the monitors.

Bye bye, you goddamned creepy mystery junk.
Time for us to part ways.

Journal Entry 5.

Mmmm, look at it burn.
That heavy feeling in my gut has lifted.

....a little.

Dammit.


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

...and now an update on yesterday's story about the new Old Earth Museum on Capital Planet.

The freighters have arrived with the historical relics and documents from the Old Earth period of human history, wich should be on display for public viewing by next week.

Escorts have followed along every step of the way to insure safety of these priceless irreplacable pieces of our glorius history.

Professor Envrost, foremost expert on Old Earth history talked to our own Valleri Bre....



Journal Entry 6.

*Burp* Ahhhhh.

Paaanaaakes!

I always reward myself with a stop at Zuggy's Diner after an Imperium haul.
Pancakes make it aaall better.
Daddy's medicine.

The cute waitress with the drink table ass was there again.
Flirted with her a little this time.
She totally wants me.
Heh, heh.

Oh yeah, and Flim Duggart was there!
Ain't seen him in a couple years!

He's working IT at one of the corpsec firms.
Info-flab, or Flavo-inf, or one of those dumb names.

He still does pirate stuff and information dealing on the side.
Heh, good ol' Flim.
Hooked me up with the porn channels off of my slate board back in grade school.

Anyway, after a few beers, I told him about the crap I scanned out of the crates and asked him if he might find a buyer who'd want something like that.

He said "yeah", and I uplinked him a copy to his wristtop.

He's supposed to let me know if anyone's bit the hook in a week or so.

Eh, I can trust Flim, we go way back.
If he skims a little, eh, let 'im.
Probably won't get but a few bucks from some geek on an asteroid mine anyway.


Journal Entry 7.

Ah hell, I got a load to haul for the Association.

Clean street having, litter picking, clean joke loving pansies.
Hate em, hate em, hate em.

Imperium types give me goosebumps, Association weenies give me the willies.
Ah well, at least Association types mostly shut up and give me the trash.

After they've compacted, wrapped, and perfumed it.
Surprised they don't put a little bow on it.

Meh, at least there's never a monster in there.


Journal entry 12.

Well, that's fucking done.

Say, it just occured to me, Flim never got back to me on that thing.

Eh, maybe he'll meet up with me at Zuggy's again.



Journal Entry 13.

What the!?!?

What the....fuck...is this??


Journal Entry 14.

Oh shit, did that suck...*coughs*...*gulp*..*sniff*...*voice distorts from head shaking* aah!

Nyaagh! Ahem! Ahem! Ahem! *gulp* phew.

That...that ain't right.

Zuggy's is gone, man.
It's fucking gone.

That ain't right, they weren't political, I KNOW....knew those people.

They weren't dissodents or.....Ahem!! Aggh! *gulp*

They were just PEOPLE, man!

They kept their heads down and did their JOBS!

What the FUCK?!?!

....*choke*...*voice distorts from head shaking*...uuuh...nononono....phew.

There was no NEED for that!

Oh shit, the waitress......oh god, I've gotta get drunk.

Shit, was Flim there?? Ah shit man.

Ah shit, I gotta get drunk.

-Next 3 logs retroactively deleted-


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

.....Imperium Sythnemek Enforcers traced what seemed at the time to be data smugglers to a local restraunt.

But, when they arrived to simply serve a fine and a court summons, they were fired apon.
The enforcers returned fire but the criminals detonated an incindiary device and burnt the restraunt to the ground with them in it.

Imperium investegators suspect drug involvement, and links to the Serutan death cult, but evidence at this time is inconclusive.

A shame, isn't it, Jan?
You hate to see that happen.

Now, in the lighter side, a small family of ducks....


Journal Entry 18.

Alright, fine.

I'll read the goddamned file I guess.


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Pirate Channel disruption of Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

Image description- Man in strange blue costume with a hooded mask, face pixelated, voice altered.
Caption- "Captain Patriot".

History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

Educate and inform the whole mass of the people...
They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

I have sworn upon the alter of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.

I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.

It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy to deprive a man of his natural liberty upon the supposition he may abuse it.

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.

Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty.

Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.


Journal Entry 30.

I knew that gibberish sounded familiar!
Looks like Flim sold the file to someone before he died afer all.

....and I got Jack and shit for it.
Bastard.

Just as well, I don't wanna be entangled in that terrorist bullshit.

I'm having a hard enough time trying to bullshit up reasons not to haul loads for Imperium clients anymore.


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

The terrorist group The Patriots have claimed responsibilty for yesterday's bombing of the Old Earth Museum on Capital Planet, and last week's attack on a much used hyperspace shipping lane.

Imperium investigators also suspect drug involvement, and links to the Serutan death cult, but evidence at this time is inconclusive.

A shame, isn't it, Jan?
You hate to see that happen.

So, how's the weather gonna be, Stacey?


Journal Entry 36.

Geez, these Patriot attacks are cropping up pretty regular now.

As are the...heh..motivational speeches from Captaaaiin PATRIOT!

Pffnnt! Christ.

Leave it to terrorist shmucks to actually fall for a bunch of flowery mythical fables about Old Earth's history.

Please, there weren't ever people like that.

Buncha crap.

Like all religions, really.

Get a real job, you rotten little twerps.

Hell, I think I liked it better when it was just Nazis and Commies to worry about.

Now we've got a bunch of trust fund brats BELIEVING in shit.

Better get me some more guns.


Journal Entry 37.

Ah maaan, just got a call from the Association.

I just hauled a load for them, what the hell could they want?


Neutrino-Net chatlog.

[ChromaKey has joined chat]

BitMonkey- Hey, Chroma.

ChromaKey- How are all my little bitches? Lol.

Parsec- Hey.

Bootsie- Chroma! :)

[Inane chatter snipped]

ChromaKey- Oh hey, look at this AC1 "reality", cam I found [address removed]

Bootsie- What do you mean "reality".

ChromaKey- Oh you know, like the last couple times they staged some stuff.

ChromaKey- Fake arrests for propagana n stuff.

ChromKey- They totally got exposed. Kept it off AC1 News, but hereza site [address removed]

BitMonkey- Thought everyone had seen that.

Parsec- Yeah.

Bootsie- Read the site! Busted!! :D

Chromakey- Oh hey, it's getting good! Switch over.


Intercepted Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Association Channel One News On The spot Cam Z234.

Garbage Man- What the hell is this about anyway?

Association Officer 1- *Searching cockpit of garbage vessel* Found it!

Association Officer 2- Found what?

AO1- A datapd containing the patriot files. All of 'em. The whole terabit.
Even the Thomas Paine stuff.

AO1- So, we found the source.

AO2- Yep. Looks like we have. Unfortunate.

GM- Look, I came across that shit by accident, I'm no Patriot, believe me.

AO1- Possesion's possession. I'm sorry that we have to do this, I really am.

GM- Aw...you don't mean...shit, come on, the Patriots make me sick, I got nothin to DO with them!

AO2- Looks like you got somethin to do with 'em to us. And our laws agree.

AO1- *Putting kinetic binders on Garbage Man* Like I said, I'm sorry we have to do this, I really am.

GM- So, what's the max sentence for something like this? Some eyedropper movies in one of your resort prisons for a couple months?


AO2- Dissemenating unfavorable histories in the interest of disrupting harmony? Complete neural indocrination, effective immediately. At your cost.


GM- *Goes pale* oh, whoa,.....hey, hey, hey!! Look! Look! I told you, I got nothin to do with the Patriots! I'm just a working man trying to get by! I found that crap on the NN, and just skimmed through, I was gonna dump it, you gotta believe me!!!

AO1- I'm sorry sir.



BitMonkey- Good show so far.

ChromaKey- Wanna switch over to the indoctrination? Buddy found the link to the chiar they're gonna use. [address removed]

ChromaKey- Chair.

BitMonkey- Yeah, got it.

[Inane chatter during the wait toward the indoctrination snipped]


Intercepted Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Relayed hard line feed, Association Indoctrination Chair A01.

(Test patterns)

("Connection made" graphics)

Association Chancellor- The pursuit of harmony is the basis of our society. The society is it's individuals. The individual therefore is subordinate to...

Heck Backlash- Eat shit muthfucka!!

AC- Society must be structured in a manner conductive to harmony. Harmony is conductive to pleasure. Pleasure is the goal of all beings. The harmony of the associtation has been the one goal of all societies. Disharmony is destructive to the harmonious society, and therefore the indivudual who brings dishamrony onto himself....

HB- Eatshitmothafuckaeatshitmothafuckaeatshitmothafuckaeatshitmothafuckaeatshitmothafucka!!!

(Neural interferance sentries deployed)

HB- Whooaa! What was that? That wasn't good. I don't like that. I can't tell what's happening, but I don't like it.

AC- It is irrational to resist harmony, therefore disharmny is irrational.

HB- Well yeah, I can buy that I guess. Ooooh, what was that? That felt...nice...I REALLY don't trust that! What's this fucking thing doing? Get out of my brain you cocksuckas!!!

AC- The Association brings peace to it's colony worlds.

HB- Yeah! At the cost of...of...damn, brain fart...yeah, I guess it does.

George Washington- If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

HB- Yeah! ....*looks angrily at Association Chancellor* YEAH!!!

GW- Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.

(Neural interference sentries disabled)

HB- Hynggeaah!

AC- *Shatters, pieces vanish*

HB- Um, look, thanks for bailing me out of that, but I'm not one of your Patriots, I just wanna get out of here.

Thomas Jefferson- All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.

HB- Look, I...told you, I'm not into your revolution okay? The Imperium and the Association suck. They suck donkey balls. Okay? But that's just how things are. Okay? Either help me out of this place or leave me the hell alone.

GW- Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty.

HB- There's nothing I can do!! I'm just a garbage man, alright!?

TJ- Educate and inform the whole mass of the people...
They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.

HB- Leave me alone!!!

TJ- Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

HB- Leave!! Me!! Alooooone!!!!!!!

TJ- *Shatters, pieces vanish*

GW- *Shatters, pieces vanish*

("Connection made", graphic shatters, pieces vanish)

(Test patterns)

(Test patterns shatter, pieces vanish)

(Blue error screen)


Bitmonkey- Ah, someone gave me a corrider cam! Quick, switch! [address removed]


Intercepted Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Association Channel One News On The spot Cam Y326.

Garbage Man- *Runs down corrider*

Association Officer 1- *Runs after Garbage Man* Stop!! Stop him!!

Association Officer 2- *Intercepts and joins pursuit from adjoining corridor* You are in violation of harmony, and are resisting indoctrination! Stop and accept detainment!

GM- *Gets stopped by closing emergency door*

AO1- Gotcha, Patriot!

AO2- Hahaaa! Yeah!


ChromaKey- Oh hey, looks liek theyre gonna get him now.

Parsec- what if this is real?

BitMonkey- it's not.

Parsec- But what if it IS man?

Bootsie- Bit, do something! :(

BitMonkey- It's not.

ChromKey- Looks pretty real to me

Bootsie- They're going to get him!! :(

BitMonkey- It's not.

Parsec- Fuck you, it's real.

Bootsie- Help him!!! Help him!! :.(

BitMonkey- Look, even if it were real, what could I do?

Parsec- You've got security clearance! Open and close some doors! Anything!

BitMonkey- Do you know the kind of trouble I'd get into asshole? No way!

BitMonkey- And it's not real anyway!

Parsec- Fuckin pussy!! B-(

Bitmonkey- And it's not my problem.

Parsec- you didn't say it wasn't real! Fuckin pussy! B-(

BitMonkey- I can't lose my job!!

Parsec- Fuckin pussy!! B-(

BitMonkey- FUCK YOU!!!

Parsec- Fuck you, fuckin pussy!!

Bootsie- Dammit, Bit, you help him or you get none tonight!! 8(

Bootsie- Bit!!!!

Bootsie- BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parsec- BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B-(

BitMonkey- Goddammit!!!!

BitMonkey- Shiiiit!!

Intercepted Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Association Channel One News On The spot Cam Y326.

GM- *Emergency door opens, runs*

AO1- The fuck?!?!?

AO2- You SWORE!!

AO1- Yeah, write me a fuckin ticket, GET HIM!!!

AO2- *Turns gun on Association Officer 1* I'm sorry sir.

AO1- God da....*holds out hands for binders*

Neutrino-Net chatlog.


Bootsie- Oh, Bit, Bit, you did it!! :)

Bitmonkey- Yeah, yeah, he's not out of it yet...I gotta concentrate here...

Parsec- Fucking-A Bit! :D

[TokaToka has joined chat]

TokaToka- Wassup?

TokaToka- Well, I'm waiting.

TokaToka- Hello?

Chromakey- Looong story, log on here. [address removed]

Parsec- Shit, that was awsome!!!

TokaToka- Fuck, I can't get video to work at the office, someone gimme play by play!!

Parsec- Um, okay, we started out watching this garbage man who turns out to be a patriot sympathizer get arrested on security/news cam.

TokaToka- Uh huh.

TokaToka- Come on, come on.

Parsec- And the guy shrugs off indoctrination, and now he's running away from the feds.

TokaToka- Shit, sounds good!

Parsec- and BitMonkey is helping him!!

TokaToka- SHIT!!!!!! =(8-O

TokToka- Work, you fucking POS video driver!!! Agh!!!

Parsec- Okay, um, Bit opened a door for him, then closed it in front of the cops. Then he's been closing doors in the nick of time, and opening them. And when I said it was awsome, he let the guy through a ventilation shaft, then air suctioned him to a whole other sector where security hasn't been woke up yet.

TokaToka- I can't fucking believe I'm missing this shit!!

TokaToka- Wait, you shitting me again?

Chromakey- Swear to fucking gawd, if you ever get video to work, i'm putting it on my server space, and you can review it.

TokaToka- Shit! Come on, keep it coming.

Parsec- Damn!!!!!!!!!!!

TokaToka- Come on!!

Chromakey- Bit's a fuckin pinball wizard!!

Parsec- Bit bumped him off a balcony, and caught him with an elevator, they totally can't get to him from there!

Parsec- Hahaaaa!! One of the idiot cops tried to jump onto the elevator from a higher platform, and his fat ass missed it by a mile!! Splat!!!

Bootsie- That's not funny. :(

Parsec- Come on, it's not Bit's fault he took the jump.

Bootsie- I suppose. Still. :(

Parsec- Okay, Bit's opened the elevator door for him, and got him to the hover sleds.

Parsec- your clearence lets you remote control hover sleds Bit??

BitMonkey- Uh? Wha? No, but I can fire 'em up. The rest is up to him. Okay, gotta focus.

Chromakey- There he goes. Hey, you can tell he's done this before.

TokaToka- This sounds like some fucking garbage man!!

Chromakey- We think he's the patriot leader. you shoulda seen the indoctrination.

Chromakey- Transcription's done, i've messaged it to you.

TokaToka- Thanks.

Bootsie- I'm gonna e-mail this chat to the Captain Patriot website. What do you think?

Chromakey- I dunno....

TokaToka- Lol! Do it!

Parsec- Change our names of course. Especially Bit.

Chromakey- Meh, we're pretty anonymous. Bit only uses that name in chat. I say go for it, Boots.

Parsec- They're shooting! They're shooting!!

Chromakey- Oh hey!! This is popping up on the news now!!

TokaToka- At least TV works! I see it!! Wow!! Fucking wow!!

Parsec- Oh!! Damn!! You see that!? Bit totally whanged em off the sleds with that ad banner!!

TokaToka- Oh yeah!!!! Fuck the feds! Send it to the Patriots, Boots!

Bootsie- Soon. ;)

BitMonkey- There, he made it back to his trash truck. That's all I can do.

TokaToka- Yay Bit!!

Chromakey- Yay HECK!!!

TokaToka- ????

Parsec- The trash man.

Chromakey- The garbage man.

Parsec- Yeah.

TokaToka- Ah.

Bootsie- Saving!! Sending!! :D


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Association Channel 1 News Report.

This is live, if you're just joining us, as you see, a garbage freighter is in a high speed chase with at least three police interceptors that we can see.

Our news probe is straining to keep up with it.

Officers have opened fire!

Officers have opened fire!

The freighter is taking on massive external damages!

The pilot is struggling valiantly to keep control of the vessel.

Oh, the freighter has released it's waste!
It's exploded!
Ah, it was only a light show, the interceptors are unharmed.

Nonetheless, the interceptors are pulling back.

Wait, two other vessels, they look like some kind of cobbled together fighters bearing a rectangular red and white striped sigil....yes, they're Patriot fighters!

Patriots are putting themselves in the path between the freigther and the interceptors.

The interceptors have for some reason pulled into full retreat.

Ah, the habitat is retracting it's quark canon!
The interceptors are clearing a path for...the quark canon?
That's only used on large capital vessels..
That seems a bit excessive...
Who's in that garbage truck??

The quark canon has fired!
The quark canon has fired on the garbage freighter, and...the patriots are putting themselves in it's...the patriots are destroyed!!

...The Patriots layed down their lives to save whoever is in that freighter..!

Ladies and gentlemen...I'm searching for words...

Large ships, I'm getting Google data through the headset, it's telling me a minumum crew compliment of 15 each.

30 people...Jesus....

The freigther is opening a hyperspace rift now, it's limping into it, but it's gonna...it's made it!!

The freighter has made it!! ...and I'm being told I'm...fired...


Journal Entry 39

Well, that was a hell of a thing.

Got picked up by a Patriot ship out of hyperjump.

I told 'em what went down at the Association compound, and they were all kissing my ass and stuff, and trying to recruit me to their little cause.

I bluntly turned 'em down, and they started guilt tripping me about those 32 Patriots who died.

This warrior chick of theirs, she gave me all these rousing speeches and stuff, and I swear to god, started bawling a little.

I told her "look baby, even if I believed in all this happy horseshit, I ain't no hero, I ain't got what it takes for war, I'm just out to make a living in this world".

Then, she runs off bawling, and all the guys, they're hissing and giving me 'tude.

Tsht, fuck them.

I didn't ask for any of this shit, and I didn't ask for their help.

Fuckin told 'em so too.

They helped me temporarily patch up what little actual mechanical damage was done to ol' Bessie May, mostly external armiture hydraulics, then slipped me some gas money, and let me leave.

Christ, I do the right commonsense thing, and I'm actually guilty.
GUILTY for telling terrorist nuts to fuck off.
Must've been the lady crying.
Been falling for that shit since my mudder.

Christ almighty, between this and crying over what happened at Zuggys, I'm slipping into full pussitude these days.

Maybe watching worse mayhem on the news'll cheer me up.
At least until I can get under a whore.


Journal Entry 40

*Sigh*
Well, I'm wanted by the Association, and the Imperium now.

Guess I can find monkey jobs in the unafilliated territories again.
Scummy cluster of dirtball planets and asteroids, but a guy can lose himself there.

Be working hand to mouth, just like when I started out, but I suppose it beats having cyborgs on my ass.

Christ, what a month I'm having.

I need a drink.
On top of needing a whore.


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Association Channel 1 News Report.

.....Association Mekasynth Regulators traced a ring of security system hackers to several private residences within the same habitat ring.

All suspects are detained, and awaiting sentencing.

Hacking, especially security systems, usually carries a penalty of medium level indoctrination, followed by computer assigned public service.

Association investegators suspect drug involvement, and links to the Serutan death cult, but evidence at this time is inconclusive.

A shame, isn't it, Jan?
You hate to see that happen.

Now, in the lighter side, a small family of ducks....


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

....more Patriot attacks on shipping...

Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

... increasing problem with Imperium youth joining Patriot militas...

Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Association Channel 1 News Report.

...more Patriot miliatas cropping up every...

Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Association Channel 1 News Report.

...Patriot Alliance has declared full scale WAR on...

Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

The Patriot-Association war has spilled over into Imperium territories...

Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

...the President has resolved to enter the Imperium into the war against the Patriots starting...


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Association Channel 1 News Report.

...more systems fell under Patriot control as...


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Pirate Channel disruption of Imperium Channel 1 and Association Channel 1.

This is Chip Drysdole, formerly of Association Channel one, and this is the voice of the resistance....


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

.....the Association-Patriot front of the conflict spilled over into the unafilliated territories, as a Patriot newslip printing operation was traced to a nearby warehouse on planetoid 12.
The Association military has responded with preemptive cyborg airdrops.

Some sources say that Captain Patriot himself may have been at this location.

Meanwhile, Imperium cyborgs on the Association border have uncovered...


Journal Entry 160

Shit, that's the neigborhood where I make most of my pickups!

What the fuck do I do now?

I'm at the end of the line here....

...gotta think of something...


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

Captain Patriot- (Riding cybernetic horse, weilding electro-sword) Follow me!! Follow me!!!!

(Massive crowd of Patriots replies with shriek)

(Crowd charges)

(Captain Patriot leads the crowd around a corner to the right, then to the left, leading them away from the center of the city)

Captain Patriot- (Teeth grit, voice shaking, muttered to self) come on, come oooon, this way, jackasses...

(Crowd is met on the next turn by a huge row of Association cyborg soldiers, weapons drawn)

(Crowd pulls to halt with unified gasp)

1st cyborg- Ebezza zubba. (Nods to next cyborg in row)

2nd cyborg- Zubba. (Fires at Captain Patriot's horse)

(Captain Patriot's horse splatters into flesh and metal chunks, Captain Patriot is thrown free, lands behind dumpster, is knocked cold)

Patriot- ...no....no....NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs at 2nd cyborg)

2nd cybog- Barenga zenga! (Raises rifle, gets caught off guard, and taken on the right side)

Patriot- Hyngaahh!! Hnngyaahh!! HHHNNGGAAYYHHH!!!!!!
(Hurls punches into 2nd cyborg's helmet. Knuckles crack, blood starts to stain cyborg's finish)

Patriot- HHYYYGGGYYYEEEAAAGGGGHH!!!!
(Hurls uppercut all the way from the ground, 2nd Cyborg topples over)

1st cyborg- (Stunned, finally reacts, starts to give the motion/order to fire on the patriots) Zabween...

(Patriot crowd encouraged by the first patriot, blindly and ravenously charges the cyborgs)

(Cyborgs manage to get off some shots, killing some patriots, ultimately are overtaken)

(Cyborg limbs and heads start to float to the top of the crowd and get passed around)


Reporter- YES!!! Yes!! Ye....oh..I mean....oh...I'm being told...I'm fired...


Journal Entry 162

....well, the unafilliated territories are safe...I think....I guess...

Yesterday, I snuck into the Patriot camp, and who should I find there, but Captain Patriot getting his horse ready.

I waited til he was alone, where no one could see, and knocked him out with a pipe.

Heh. Damn good swing. Shoulda seen the look on his face.

Anyhoo, I take off his mask, and who do you suppose it was?

Fuggin FLIM DUGGART!!!

I almost shit myself right there!!

Anyhoo, I drag him off to a nice hidey spot, and put his mask on.

I get on the horse, which was a nightmare on my ass to ride, but I managed to get it to go in the direction I wanted okay enough.
Thank the christ it was a cyborg.

So, I wake everyone up, tell them a bunch of that George Washington shit, which they ate right up, especially this redheaded kid with crazy blue eyes. Don't know why he stands out.
He just gave me a creepy feeling.
Anyhoo, then I get 'em to follow me out of town, and into where I know the association robots are.

Next thing I know, I get blown off the horse, and I wake up 7 hours later, and everyone's gone.

I toss the mask into the trash, do my garbage run, and everything seems okay.

My plan seems to have worked.

Wish the fuck I knew how.

Goddamnedest thing I ever seen.

Huh.

Whatever.


Journal Entry 163

Uplink, foreward external camera, "Bessy May".
Transcription mode.

(Giant black spiderlike vessel decloaks, clamps onto ship, recloaks)

[Electronics go down for duration of entry]


Journal Entry 164

Agh, Jesus, to hell with Patriots, to hell with everything.
Can't put enough distance between me and this sector.

I've been right all along, garbage man, only honest job there is.


Journal Entry 179

Oh, fucking finally!
Viniculai-12 finally crawled up on the monitors.

Bye bye, you goddamned Serutan Death Cult corpses.
Time for us to part ways.


Journal Entry 180

Mmmm, look at 'em burn.
That heavy feeling in my gut has lifted.

....a little.


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Pirate Channel disruption of Imperium Channel 1 and Association Channel 1.

It's the voice of the resisance!! YOUR news program!! With Chip Drysdole!! And introducing, Gham Zepperel, formerly of Imperium channel 1!!

Chip- Welcome to the team, Gham!

Gham- Thanks, Chip!

Chip- So, how's that family of ducks doing??

Gham- Hahaaaa!! Good one!!

Chip- Inside joke, folks. (winks)


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Pirate Channel disruption of Imperium Channel 1 and Association Channel 1.

Host- Welcome to the Patriot Spring Break Concert For Liberty!!

(Crowd of American flag face painted teens goes "whoooo!!")

Host- I now present to you, a very, very, special guest, Tommy Yoto!!

(Audience "whhhooos", a girl shrieks "I love you Tommyyyy!!!!", at the top of her lungs)

(Tommy comes out, he has red hair, blue eyes, and a bandaged up hand)

Tommy- (Choked up) Aw man, aw man, I love all you's guys too.

Host- Tommy, we heard your favorite band in the whole wide world is Feckless Bumbertons, is this right??

Tommy- Yeah!!! Fucking Fecklessss!!! Whooooo!!!

(Audience "whoooos")

Host- Well guess what, Tom, my man??

Tommy- Aw, no way!! No fuggin way!!!!

(Feckless Bumbertons walk out onto stage, audience goes insane)



Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Pirate Channel disruption of Imperium Channel 1 and Association Channel 1.

Image description- Woman in strange blue costume with a hooded mask, face pixelated, voice altered.
Caption- "Captain Patriot's Widow".

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.

History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.

My reading of history convinces me.....


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Imperium Channel 1 News Report.

The government continues to deny insider reports that the Patriots continue to gain ground in the.......

Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt Association Channel 1 News Report.

...........................


Neutrino-net transmission.
Transcription mode.
Excerpt New American Federation Channel 1 News Report.

.....and sworn in as NAF president, self described widow of Captain Patriot, and leader of the resistance armies, Selandra Penumbra.

As her vice president, popular soldier, and youth leader, Thomas Yoto.

(Yoto waves to the crowd with bionic hand)

(A girl somewhere shrieks "I love you Tommyyyy!!!!", at the top of her lungs)

Thomas- I love all you's guys too!!!!!


Neutrino-Net chatlog.

[ChromaKey has joined chat]

BitMonkey- Hey, Chroma.

ChromaKey- How are all my little bitches? Lol.

Parsec- Hey!!!!!

Bootsie- Chroma!!! :)

Chromakey- Bit!!! Shit, you're alive!!!

BitMonkey- Heh, what's left of me! Once evereything went to hell, they let us all out of prison, and it was a free for all.

BitMonkey- Anyhoo, long story short, I've been hooked up with a new IT job for the NAF.

Chromakey- Way to go, Bit!

Chromakey- Say, anyone seen Parsec??

Bootsie- Oh, he's been around. Pokes his head in now and then.

[TokaToka has joined chat]

TokaToka- I'm always late to these things. :)

TokaToka- Chroma!!!

Chromakey- Hey. :)

BitMonkey- Hey, you got video workin, Toke?

TokaToka- Yeah, new job has better 'puters, and the boss is cool about letting us browse.

BitMonkey- Get a load of this video I was allowed access to. Don't know what to make of it [Address removed]

BitMonkey- If it's real, I don't know what to make of it. If it was faked for propaganda, who did it, and why?

TokaToka- What's it about?

BitMonkey- You'll see. ;)

Retrieved security cam recording.
Transcription mode.
Serutan Death Cult Spider Ship.
Conference chamber.

Cinda Wakefort- (Slides down eerily from the ceiling on an animated chained harness controlled by her brainwaves) Wakey wakey!! Eggs and bacey! Guess where you are, snookums?
That's right, honey, we're that Serutan Death Cult your mommy always warned you about!

Flim Duggart- Hello, Heck. How do you like the new digs?

Heck Backlash- (Rubs eyes) Flim?? Um, first, the honeymoon suite of Hell look is a bit much.
Second, so, you're in the Serutan Death Cult, as well as the Patriots??
Boy, you DO get around, doncha "old friend"??

Flim- Patriots? Serutans? It's all the same thing! Don't you see? This is all one big game of chess. There is no Imperium, or Association. Not really. It's like the ancient cola wars. In the end, it turned out Coke and Pepsi were really the same company. And you know what? There was no outrage! No one cared! The public just nodded, and kept sucking their sugar water like good little sheep! Same here. Except we've just been shuffling the pieces around for more real estate on the board. And you've made an excellent pawn.

Heck- So, I guess that answers my next question, which was going to be "how's your head"? (Smirks)

Flim- Cute. Cute. Oh, by the way, while you slept, I had the chance to read your little journal in it's entirety. Very gripping reading. Quite the page turner.
No, I tell a lie, it was tedious and pedestrian.

Cinda- (Mocking tone) That ain't right!! They were my friends! (Laughs)

Heck- Don't believe everything you read. I sure don't.

Flim- Oh, I didn't. Like I said, I read it in it's ENTIRETY, including the deleted alternate entries that had to be lifted by quantum scan. I think the Patriots would find it all....interesting.
Wouldn't you agree, Heck Backlash? Or, should I say Dent Tovid, formerly of the Association Intelligence Service? Well, that explains these "other sources", from which you obtained the illegal scanners. Doesn't explain your current occupation though. You must've pissed somebody off. Big surprise there.

Cinda- (Laughs)

Heck- Like I said, don't believe everything you read.

Flim- No matter, once we find a way to crack your resistance to neural indoctrination, you're going to admit to being Captain Patriot, and the next stage can begin.

Cinda- (Pulls back up towards the ceiling half way) Welcome to the jungle baby! You're gonna diiieee!! (Tongue waggle)

Heck- Oh, and your girlfriend's an obnoxious ham. You gonna slap her, or do I have to?

(Five foot long razor boomarang flutters into the room, decapitates Cinda, and impales Flim to the wall all in one sweeping movement)

Selandra Penumbra- (Steps from around corner of doorway) That'll be about enough of that I think.

Heck- Hey!! I know you! You're the broad from the Patriot ship that picked me up!
How'd you find me on a cloaked ship anyway?

Selandra- I planted a quantum tracer on your ship. Seemed like the right thing to do.
Turned out I was right, wasn't I?

Heck- Ah. Well. Remove it, would you?

Selandra- Sure.

Heck- (Admires the carnage) Nice boomer-kawanging by the way.
Now, if you'll excuse me....(Pulls small holdout blaster from pant leg)

(Heck walks up to Flim impaled on wall, holds gun near his head)

Flim- Gurgle?

Heck- Her name was Nora, motherfucker, and she had kids (Fires).

Selandra- We were all played....

Heck- Speak for yourself.

Selandra- (Nods)...none if was real....all those brave kids...they think it's real!

Heck- (Raises eyebrow. Smirks).....so? Let 'em.

Selandra- (Smiles. Nods)


Journal Entry 300.

For those who came in late, this is Hack Backlash, garbage man.
I'm in space. Space garbage man I guess you'd call me.
Sounds like a crappy comic book or something though.
Don't need no illusions of heroism on my back, even in my fantasy life.
I'm just a garbage man.

That's right, garbage man.

(Mocking nasal tone)
Revolutionary leaaderrrr!

Bullshit, I'm a garbage man.

I collect everyone's nasty shit, and throw it in the nearest star.

The crumbum assholes of the unafilliated territories, the idealist saps of the New American Federation, I don't care for what they do, and they turn their nose up at what I do.

Everything works out just fine.

Real copasetic like.

Picking up a load of something for the NAF as I speak actually.
Long as it's sealed up good, I don't ask.


THE END.