Saturday, August 24, 2013

Quantum Dissolve: Chapter Twenty. (Streetsweepers vs. Funster)


The Funster peeled back his makeup encrusted lips, and cackled like a banshee, between braying obnoxious nonsense into a bullhorn out the nearest window.

He had on a tacky sequined green zuit-suit type number, a purple wig, and cracked white clown makeup all over his face.

A mound of extruded human goo lay on the floor near a tree shredder.

Tied up hostages, faces soaked in tears, awaited their turn on the conveyor belt.

A skylight shattered, a rope dropped, and Chokecherry zipped down on a pulley.

She surveyed the scene, scowled, ran at The funster, pulled the tomahawk she'd recently commandeered out of her bag, and split Funster's head down the middle with one angry swing.

Funster's incoherent bullshit instantly faded to a gurgle, and his carcass plopped to the floor like a burlap bag full of inert butcher meat.

Chokecherry recognized his face, mangled as it was.
It was Franky Donaldberg.
Inventor of the Transposer.

She ignored this, and calmly set about freeing the hostages.


Jade Shade finally kicked in the front door, and saw what had happened.

He started a bit, then silently helped untie hostages, and making sure they were all right.


Once the hostage were freed, and long gone, Jadie and Chokie finally had a little chat.

After pacing for a bit, JS gestured towards Franky/Funster, and said "so, what's this all about then?".

"What does it look like?", Chokecherry said with an almost bored look on her face.

"It looks like you've broken the superhero oath", JS spat back.

"I don't remember taking any fucking oath", Chokecherry shot right back, annoyance creeping into her voice.

"Superheroes don't fucking kill!", JS barked, fists clenched, and shaking.

"Bullshit", Chokecherry said trying to keep a laugh out of the back of her throat.
Before JS could speak, she cut him off "what about The Prodigious Mass? You iced him without a shred of remorse".

"That was different, that was...", JS stammered.

"Putting down a mad dog?", Chokecherry asked.
"Isn't that what this fucking was?".

"It's not for us to judge...", JS attempted.

"Oh give me a fucking break! That's why we put these fucking costumes on! If we didn't already think we knew better than the shitty cops, we'd be staying in eating fucking premium ice cream out of little buckets like good little American boys and girls", Chokie snapped, a sneer of annoyance definitely showing in her speech by now.

JS shook his head mumbling "I dunno...this is just...this is just...I dunno...".

Chokie continued, on a roll now "and let me tell you something else, Mister Clean Conscience, Prodigious Mass was far from your first! Did you really think all those muggers and pimps you beat to a pulp all lived? Do you think street criminals can afford decent health care? In what world is that? When you beat a guy bad enough to make him eat through a straw, sometimes, he actually fucking dies! Do you have medical training? Do you know perfectly how to break a body without destroying it? Every single time? In the heat of battle? Do you even think such a man can exist outside of a fucking comic? You're NUTS if you think your encounters were always non-lethal! Let me dispel the denial, you've got 16 corpses on your tally. That's right, I looked into it. I knew this moment was coming! And you know what? GOOD! The world is actually a better place without those assholes! Making the world a better place is part of what this is about, isn't it? Well the world is better without that trash, and it's better without that pile of shit over there, and I'll NEVER be sorry!".

"You really aren't bothered at all?", JS said taken aback.

"That little piece of shit meat-ground people just to get our attention! Because he didn't get his little baby way, because we broke his precious toy! All of this just because he didn't get rich off the Military Industrial Complex! Fuck him, and everyone like him! No, I'm not bothered a bit! I'm only ashamed we didn't get here in time to stop the whole thing, and I'm equally ashamed that YOU'RE bothered".

"It's really that easy for you?", JS said, condemnation in his voice.

"To save good people? Fuck yes, I'd kill a hundred like him, sweatless", Chokecherry said, calming down.

She walked up to him, lifted up his mask, and put her hands on his face.

"What does your deepest heart tell you? Fuck what society and rules say. Do you FEEL like a criminal? Do you FEEL like I did wrong? With your heart".

Dusty thought for two seconds, and said "my heart feels the way it did when Blackie Aaron got shivved in prison".

She kissed him, and said "all right then".

"So what do we do with him?", JS said, indicating Franky/Funster as he put his mask back in place.

"Well, we've got the shredder right here...", Chokecherry said with a shrug.

So, they put Funster's carcass on the conveyor belt, and fired up the machine.
Then, when the cycle had run, they burned the place down with gasoline.

They made love by the firelight.


When they were done, Dusty/JS said "you're her, aren't you? You were there with me at the school massacre, you're Ki...".

Irma/Chokecherry clamped her hand over his mouth.
"Don't say that name. Don't ever say that name. As far as you're concerned, she died that day".

They both stared up at the stars, and had the same exact flashbacks.

Finally, JS said "you're right, the past is dead, the future is what matters".

Another 10 minutes later, Irma/Kimber said "comic books are shit, we've got to be the ones to write the real rulebook. That'll be our future".

JS/Dusty simply nodded.

1 comment:

Paladin said...

And the story comes full circle! Nice riff on superhero moralizing...I'll have to take a go at drawing the Funster!

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