Postcards from Podsville #8

On the homeopathic properties of blasphemy.



Okay, what we have here is your every day garden variety Pisschrist.

People took exception to this in some quarters.

Think about what you've got here.

A plastic sculpture, of a guy, that doesn't look like the guy, because no one knows what he looked like, and indeed, he probably never even existed, dipped in human urine.

Now, not only is it a plastic representation of a guy who probably didn't exist, and therefore in no way resembles him, but it's a mass-produced piece of plastic that doesn't resemble the guy.

A cynically churned out commercial product devoid of any true fairy dust of holiness, if indeed such a thing existed.

A soul-dead piece of plastic, made in a factory, for a quick buck, that poorly represents a guy who may or may not have existed, who allegedly got nailed to a torture instrument.

Torture so nasty, that if you had actually peed on the guy, he probably wouldn't have given much of a shit.
Insult to injury, sure, but what injury.
Kinda cancels it out.

A guy who in life, and supposedly in resurrection, was all about forgiving people.

So, a soul dead piece of plastic, churned out for a buck, that poorly represents a guy, who if he existed, and lived today, wouldn't give a shit if you dipped his image, that isn't even his image, in some pee.

Oh, and also, this guy was the honcho of a splinter-cult off the Jewish religion which says thou shalt not make graven images.

So, it's a graven image, made of plastic, for a buck, that doesn't look like the guy it allegedly represents, and if who saw it, wouldn't give a shit, because he was all about forgiveness.

Oh, and it's not even the object dipped in pee, it's a photograph of the object dipped in pee.

And the above is the digitized photograph of the photograph.

So, whence the outrage?

Having trouble with this one....

Now, look at this one...


A cartoon, of a guy, in a bear suit, who never spoke, and it wasn't even the guy, it was Santa Claus.

It wasn't even Santa Claus, it was a cartoon of Santa Claus.

So, if it had been the guy, it would've just been a cartoon of the guy.

A guy who no one knows what he really looked like anyway.

So, if you have a cartoon, of a guy that no one knows what he looks like, in a bear suit, and he never even talks, and then it's not even the guy, the oversensitive-myth-worshipers still say it's the guy, and get pissed.

...even though they didn't get pissed at the guy being fully depicted back in 2002 on the same show.

...and the guy's name was un-bleeped just last Wednesday.

Okay....

So, it's bad to represent the guy no one knows what he looks like, in a cartoon, even though no one knows what he looks like, so they made up what he looks like, and even if you put him in a bear suit, and even if the guy in the bear suit turns out to be Santa, and oh yeah, did I mention it's all a cartoon?

..but only some of the time?

...and "some of the time", is "whenever we feel like it, so stay on your toes"?

Am I getting this right?

Oh, and, it's blasphemy to draw the guy in a cartoon, but not in paintings in middle eastern countries?


Guess that's one of those "whenever we goddamned feel like it", deals too, eh?

Neat trick.

First of all, I'll restate my opening argument from this rant....

It wouldn't be offensive to say I didn't exist.
It'd just be dumb.
I'd shrug it off.

So, why would God be offended if I said he doesn't exist?
He wouldn't, he'd have better things to do.

So, if God wouldn't give a shit, why would a human get offended on his behalf?

And why would a secondary batch of humans get offended on behalf of anyone who might possibly be offended?

And why would a tertiary batch of humans, who don't even believe in God get offended on behalf of those people?

And let's say it did offend God.
Given how minuscule and insignificant humans are in the larger universe, wouldn't that make him an incredible pussy?
And even more of an incredible pussy if he couldn't do something about it himself, but had to send awful little human henchmen to do his bidding?
(And isn't it funny how many of those henchmen are named after the dude whom it's forbidden to depict?)
Would such a God be worthy of worship?
I think not.

So, any God worthy of worship, wouldn't give a shit.

BUT, if God wouldn't give a shit, then he's not above ridicule and criticism.

NOT EVEN GOD!

So....why are his prophets above reproach?

Aren't they putting themselves above God?

Isn't that....blasphemous??

Isn't going along with that ego trip...idolatry?

Hmm?

No? Why?
Oh, right "because we goddamned say so".

You beginning to get the feeling this shit ain't amenable to reason?

Blasphemy, it's homeopathic.

As is the faith of those who cry out the word.

Just like James Randi gulping down a bottle of homeopathic sleeping pills, it's a lethal dosage of nothing.