Friday, March 27, 2009

The problem of "eternity".

I hashed out this argument with someone once, and it was a real bang-your-head-on-the-desk one for me.
Led me around in circles, with multiple reset-button pushes, like arguing with Dianelos on RD.net.
Anyway, the argument goes like this....

Given that all things die, and all people die, and all that remains of you is memories, and given that all the people who remember you will die, and someday, even the things like art, and writing, etc, that you leave behind will decay or be lost, and given that someday, the universe, and thus everything in it will disintegrate, then life is meaningless, and empty, and depressing....UNLESS...

There's a God who watches everything, remembers everything, will remember you, and all of your works, and that memory of you will carry on like some download of you, and live forever in, presumably, Heaven.

And given all that, life only has meaning if there is a Heaven.

Therefore, there has to be a Heaven, and therefore, a God to put us there.

Wow....so many reasons why that's a dopey argument...

First of all "it makes me happy, so it has to be true", gets you nowhere.
It doesn't work for anything else, doesn't work for this.

"I can't find meaning unless I live in a chocolate factory run by redhead hookers, so I must believe I run a chocolate factory run by red headed hookers", is equally absurd, and would also get me chucked into the loony bin.

That there's no loony bin for this sloppy argument for the afterlife doesn't suddenly validate its logic.

Secondly, if you have a hard time finding meaning in your life here and now, how the fuck is having it to do for eternity going to fix it for you??

Thirdly, is this really a daily concern of people?
As my friend Oystein once quipped "I just can't enjoy my coffee without the aspect of eternity. Forget milk or sugar, I need the aspect of eternity".

How does one get through their damned day?

Are they really biting into a peanut butter sandwich thinking "mmmm, eteeernity, good thing this is no atheism sandwich, it'd be so pointless"?

How about taking a shit?
Are they glad that's on God's permanent hardrive?
Are they thinking "mmm, boy that was smooo-oo-ooth! I can't wait to relive that one forever!"?

Would there even be shitting in Heaven?
Or would there just be the holodeck booted memory of shitting?
Y'know, for those rare moments when you start to kind of miss it?

And if so, will God know which special ones you'll want to remember, or will he have had to memorize for you every single one, and you pick, and all those other ones will be sitting in his server wasting bandwidth?

Or, will there be a sort of averaging process that will compile a sort of universal shit memory that all the other Heavenly shits will draw from?

And will we all get our own personal averaged out universal shit memory, or will that clever rascal God lump one together from everyone's most pleasant shits, and give it to all of us?

Socialized shitting?

I mean, it makes sense, because the alternative, is poor old God has to store all those shits for you, and then let most of them go to waste.

Ah, but, if God is going to play little software tricks with our shitting, then what about our eating, and drinking, and fucking, and the usual activities one associates with Heaven?

If he plays Winzip with those memories, what's so Heavenly about that?
The point is it'll be brought back to us with perfect fidelity, or what's the point of eternity?

So, either God remembers everything, including the shits, or God plays software tricks with memory, but that's not fidelity, and isn't eternity, or option three, God fiddle-fucks with some memories, and not others.

How does he decide?

Seems fairest that he stores the whole thing, and then you can debug it all after.

But you're not God, you're sure to fuck it up.

And what kind of Heaven is that, where you have to spend the first 50 or so years playing hardrive spring cleaning with your Earthly memories?

And whether you debug it, or God debugs it, what gets debugged?

Surely traumatic memories that would make Heaven un-Heavenly.

Abuse, rapes, your own death if you were murdered, especially if it involved torture and rape...

But why stop there?
Why not when your goldfish died, or a messy divorce, or something awful you said while drunk, or...

But how much editing until you're not you anymore?
And what the fuck is eternal about that?

So, editing will be necessary, but editing invalidates eternity, indeed your humanity.

Okay, let's say there's no editing, and you'll be spending your eternity with all your memories including every single shit, and thus you'll be shitting for eternity.

Think of how long some of us spend on the toilet, especially once we get old, then add that up over fucking eternity.

We'd be spending billions of fucking years just on the fucking toilet!!

Sounds an awful lot like like Hell to me.

And going back, what about the really bad stuff like the abuses, etc?
You wanna go back and relive that?
Surely not.
If not, that sits collecting dust, and may as well be deleted.

If it's not deleted, then there's going to be a lot of wasted cosmic hardrive.
And okay, God's hardrive is infinite, because he's magic.
But still, what a lot of wasted energy.
And okay, God's energy is infinite...
But wasted energy is wasted energy even in infinity.
A wild goose chase would piss you off just as bad in Heaven for wasting your time.
Unless you'll suddenly have infinite patience once you become immortal.
But, then you'd be radically altered, and couldn't be said to be you anymore.

Fourthly, what age will you be in Heaven?
The baby you were ceased to exist when you were a child, and that child ceased to exist when you were a teenager, who ceased to exist when you got to your 20's who'll cease to exist when you get old.

Did any of those stages of your life fret over their oncoming non-existence when they became you?
Did childhood-you think his play and playthings were bleak and meaningless because it would all end?

So why look at life that way?

And again, what age would you be in Heaven?
Would you pick?
Whatever age you pick, all your other ages will effectively cease to be.
No eternity for them.
And why do you get to pick, and not baby you, child you, teen you, etc?
Or do they all get to live?
Will anyone choose to be a baby for eternity?
How about a fetus?
I think not.

Well geez, isn't that like throwing your baby self in the trash?
If our baby selves are to be so casually cast aside, then why are babies held so sacred in this life?

Maybe you become some twisted transporter fusion of all your selves.
...yuck.
Sounds like a Hell torture to me.

Having cradle cap, gum ache, diaper rash, AND acne, and raging hormones, AND arthritis, and gout, and rheumatism all at the same time?
And would you have every scar and bruise you ever had?

Seems pretty twisted.

Only other way, is if all your development stages fragmented into a bunch of mini-souls.
But that's not eternity, that's a bunch of little slices.

Have I beaten this to death enough?

Eternity is Hellish, and illogical, and the arguments for it are poorly constructed, and thought out.

It's death that gives life its meaning.

Knowing you have only this life means you won't want to waste it on stupid bullshit.

Anyway, when I argued with this person, he finally whined "why are you arguing so hard, why do you care what anyone believes?".

First of all, he put it up for public consideration, why bring it up, and then gripe when you talk about it?
Second, again, here's why.

*Sigh* well, didn't get through to him, maybe it'll get through to folks out there in lurker land, who knows?

8 comments:

Matt Runyon said...

Not much to do with your entry, but I didn't know where else to put this. The Texas Board of Education finally wised up. http://www.sciam.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=texas-vote-moves-evolution-to-the-t-2009-03-27

Diacanu said...

Well, there's one piece of good news any way...:)

Frankus said...

Sometimes after a big shit my dog would run around in circles and bark with obvious delight.
Sometimes when a shit is really tough and big, the butt reals in relief and sensual delight when it's over.

That is heaven on Earth my friend.

Diacanu said...

Frank-

Lol! Indeed.

There was actually a rational reason why I focused on shitting.
It's such a mundane activity, but one that everyone glosses over, not just in the afterlife scenarios, but in fiction, remembrances, biographies, their own minds even.

BUT, it wouldn't be excluded from an unflinching temporal scan of one's life, which is what this person's vision of afterlife would be.

So, it conflicts with the human impulse to gloss past bits like that, and breaks down the logic as well as anything.

Diacanu said...

I also should've added (and am adding now, I guess) another point for why this person's worldview mattered enough to argue against.

Not just his DESIRE for it, but the NECESSITY of it.

With it being NECESSARY comes the implied insult that if this "element of eternity", isn't present, then it isn't just HIS life that's bleak empty crap, but mine too.

Well, excuse me, fucko, I don't think my life, my art, my writing are bleak empty crap.

If you think yours is, keep it to yourself, don't project your dark fantasies on to me and everyone else.

But this is the baggage that came with Dianelos's crap too.

Diacanu said...

Another point I left out, is whether you use shitting, or tooth picking, or tooth brushing, or nose wiping, etc, the point is our experiences are the conglomeration of sensory experiences of a biological lifeform.

Take the biology out of it, and it becomes a cartoon mockery of life.

And in eternity, you'd have plenty of time to figure that out.

Heaven isn't just supposed to be eternal, but incorporeal.

And even in the corporeal versions of Heaven, eternity makes that Hellish.

Anonymous said...

Excellent points all, and a wonderfully scatological demonstration of why heaven is an incoherent concept.

Diacanu said...



Update.

https://dickynoo.blogspot.com/2019/02/correctionsupdates-series-2-part-4.html

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